Anyone experience depression following San Pedro experiences?
I'm not blaming depression on the great cactus, just sincerely looking for some personal insight on your own experience or possible physical or mental causes.
This would encompass all entheogens from Psilocybin mushrooms, to Salvia Divinorum, MDMA, RCs, Iboga and Ayahuasca/Aya analogues.
From childhood I have dealt with depression and intense anxiety. In my late teens depression escalated with suicide attempts and interest in taking drugs. Cannabis has been a constant companion, though not curing depression, making it more livable dealing with these conditions.
Still I will recommend San Pedro to those in emotional distress...because I am grateful for the love it has shared.
In my mid-twenties now, I have consumed Trichocereus cactus brews around twenty times in the past years and there seems to be a duality of contentedness and depression following experiences.
For instance, when I began consuming mescaline-containing brews there was an increased "solar" energy in my system and a lasting feeling of well being at least for a few days or weeks. I feel as though I became close allies with the San Pedro spirit soon after and the cactus felt it necessary to let me in on some divinatory awareness. Reading or grasping the future seemed as simple as developing a thought. Though I didn't trust the truth that the cactus spread and I found myself confronting situations too late.
My best friend passed away last July and before that a long-term partner of mine decided to break things off.
Following those incidences it turned out I would be homeless for much of the year. On the bright side it encouraged more traveling. Still traveling the road of healing... Only recently have things been looking up. Now I'm living in a camper on a farm with lovely animals and people but still,
symptoms of depression and self-destructive thoughts weigh heavily on my mind daily.
So I have been dealing with an up and down mental state for a few years and while plant teachers can definitely help relieve depression temporarily or lend positive insight, they may in turn create a more hyperaware mindset that is destructive to social circles and work ethic.
I have taken extensive breaks(from tryptamines especially) here and there to focus on living on the ground, not up in the clouds. That being said, still Phalaris grass has been honestly the main contributor of healthy afterglows since exploring entheogens.
I must also note I have been living vegan for seven years, if anyone has strategies for replenishing serotonin from vegetable and fruit sources that would dearly help. Being financially poor and vegan sometimes is difficult to find the right nutrients on a limited budget.
During the cactus experience there is a light ignited in my soul like a fire burning through the aeons. Often times, that glow will simmer down as the mundane world piles its shit up so high it's hard to see the green grass beyond the dung.
I do take responsibility for all of my actions and know that what goes on in my life, I am accounted for.
MDMA has not had a negative effect on my cognition that I know of, so it's hazy to me if it's a phenethylamine/serotonin related phenomenon. Certain depression is unique following a San Pedro experience. It's hard to put into words what I mean but I guess it would be a contrast from a post-tryptamine(shroom) induced depression.
Most of the time i simply conclude "it's just life".
I'm just looking to feeling healthy and balanced again.
A healthy body breeds a healthy mind.
Thanks for reading and any insights.
Chimp
I'm not blaming depression on the great cactus, just sincerely looking for some personal insight on your own experience or possible physical or mental causes.
This would encompass all entheogens from Psilocybin mushrooms, to Salvia Divinorum, MDMA, RCs, Iboga and Ayahuasca/Aya analogues.
From childhood I have dealt with depression and intense anxiety. In my late teens depression escalated with suicide attempts and interest in taking drugs. Cannabis has been a constant companion, though not curing depression, making it more livable dealing with these conditions.
Still I will recommend San Pedro to those in emotional distress...because I am grateful for the love it has shared.
In my mid-twenties now, I have consumed Trichocereus cactus brews around twenty times in the past years and there seems to be a duality of contentedness and depression following experiences.
For instance, when I began consuming mescaline-containing brews there was an increased "solar" energy in my system and a lasting feeling of well being at least for a few days or weeks. I feel as though I became close allies with the San Pedro spirit soon after and the cactus felt it necessary to let me in on some divinatory awareness. Reading or grasping the future seemed as simple as developing a thought. Though I didn't trust the truth that the cactus spread and I found myself confronting situations too late.
My best friend passed away last July and before that a long-term partner of mine decided to break things off.
Following those incidences it turned out I would be homeless for much of the year. On the bright side it encouraged more traveling. Still traveling the road of healing... Only recently have things been looking up. Now I'm living in a camper on a farm with lovely animals and people but still,
symptoms of depression and self-destructive thoughts weigh heavily on my mind daily.
So I have been dealing with an up and down mental state for a few years and while plant teachers can definitely help relieve depression temporarily or lend positive insight, they may in turn create a more hyperaware mindset that is destructive to social circles and work ethic.
I have taken extensive breaks(from tryptamines especially) here and there to focus on living on the ground, not up in the clouds. That being said, still Phalaris grass has been honestly the main contributor of healthy afterglows since exploring entheogens.
I must also note I have been living vegan for seven years, if anyone has strategies for replenishing serotonin from vegetable and fruit sources that would dearly help. Being financially poor and vegan sometimes is difficult to find the right nutrients on a limited budget.
During the cactus experience there is a light ignited in my soul like a fire burning through the aeons. Often times, that glow will simmer down as the mundane world piles its shit up so high it's hard to see the green grass beyond the dung.
I do take responsibility for all of my actions and know that what goes on in my life, I am accounted for.
MDMA has not had a negative effect on my cognition that I know of, so it's hazy to me if it's a phenethylamine/serotonin related phenomenon. Certain depression is unique following a San Pedro experience. It's hard to put into words what I mean but I guess it would be a contrast from a post-tryptamine(shroom) induced depression.
Most of the time i simply conclude "it's just life".
I'm just looking to feeling healthy and balanced again.
A healthy body breeds a healthy mind.
Thanks for reading and any insights.
Chimp