Aleph Omega
Rising Star
First I want to say something about set and setting. I have heard people say that the best environment is by yourself, in silence, in the dark... Not in my experience.
Maybe because I am not comfortable in silence, in the dark? I tried this earlier tonight, hit the pipe, switched the light off, and laid down on the bed. I felt very very mild effects, almost to the point where I was not sure if I was just imagining them or not... it was like I could sense the other realm, but there was a veil over it.
After this disappointing run, I decided to give it one more whirl. I picked out specific music conducive to my mood, and turned the light back on and hit the pipe in my chair. Yeah, suffice it to say - I was out there.
My brain was caught in a cognitive whirl-wind where nothing made sense (as usual), just the complete sense of otherness, of weirdness (seeing impish mask-faces made up of moving snake-like multicolored Aztec blocks). I remember catching a brief glimpse of my bookcase, and somehow the angle I was looking at the books, it was like some hidden pattern that had been contained on all their covers matched up (I'm reminded faintly of the scene in the Last Crusade, where the rock bridge across the abyss only because clear at a certain angle of perspective), though I am not certain if this was a true perception, or just part of the hallucination.
I forgot who I was, where I was. I forgot that I had a body. But to me, the most unsettling feeling of many of these spice experiences is that it makes me question the so-called REAL WORLD.
Because in the spice state, the real world does NOT make sense. You can not make sense out of it. And the more I trip with spice, the more I realize, or get a more firm picture of how meaningless (in a sense) it all is. Here I am, sitting on a computer, writing messages on an internet forum, about taking a substance that renders you essentially, temporarily insane (or at least 'out of your mind'), communicating with other people who do the same, for kicks or presumably some type of spiritual illumination. Really, very little of it MAKES sense. Though then I think of the mindless, stress-filled routines that most human beings drive themselves through repeatedly ever day, and to me, that makes still even LESS sense...
The frightening part is that the DMT world doesn't make sense either. It just IS. It fucking jumps out at you, grabs your brain and breaks everything you think you know, but at some point you can get a feeling that it doesn't really matter, that in some way, it will all "be okay" or "is okay," because it just IS, and that's all there is to it. Just like this world, just IS... It may not make any sense, but it still IS, it is still happening. It is going on.
But back to my trip, I was brought back to reality by a song that came on: Pharoahe Monch's "Love" off of J-Dilla's album The Shining. The dissolution of boundaries is one of the hardest things for me to understand with this stuff, because of how intense it is... not smooth and easy, at ALL. Basically, I thought I was Pharoahe Monch, the rapper in the song. Not in a literal sense, but in a, "wow, I am completely identified with his voice and his message," (except remove the 'I') sort of way. This was made even stranger by the fact that I have a large replica Egyptian sarcophagus in my room, and a lot of the time when I trip, I somehow end up staring at that pharaoh's face, or seeing images of it in my mind.
I SLOWLY came to realize I was an individual being, since I had my eyes open and was looking down at my legs, but at first it was more like a distant memory than a true understanding. I was still in a trance state, and I began, automatically singing along with the song. The song cheered me up, and made me feel good, and even though I felt somewhat shitty, I knew the right thing to do was to sing it! To move to it, to dance. So without consciously deciding to, I started singing. Let me say, I love to sing. It's kind of a passion of mine, and a powerful form of expression for me. The singing was very tentative at first, but then it came out in this flow...
I know that people on spice must have had the experience of their voice, or their laugh sounding different to them. It's like your tones become modulated in some weird way. As I was singing, I got this feeling very strongly, like the DMT was speaking "for me" in a way... I can't really describe it, though one of these days I want to record my voice to see if it actually SOUNDS different, or if it's just some kind of perceptual trick.
After the singing, which was only a line or two, I continued to look around at the room to get my bearings. It was strange for things to be where they were in space. I felt like I had just been in a space where everything in the room was contained in the same point, or contained within some higher dimensional order if that makes sense. I almost had to laugh at the way things were arranged in the "real" world because it was so "different." It's almost as if I had the feeling that I had become the space between the objects at some point, and seeing them back from my normal human vantage point, was just odd.
Anyway, just wanted to share this strange experience with my imaginary friends in this imaginary forum in the "real" world. Everyone have a great night, I love you all.
Thought I would share this with everyone.
Maybe because I am not comfortable in silence, in the dark? I tried this earlier tonight, hit the pipe, switched the light off, and laid down on the bed. I felt very very mild effects, almost to the point where I was not sure if I was just imagining them or not... it was like I could sense the other realm, but there was a veil over it.
After this disappointing run, I decided to give it one more whirl. I picked out specific music conducive to my mood, and turned the light back on and hit the pipe in my chair. Yeah, suffice it to say - I was out there.
My brain was caught in a cognitive whirl-wind where nothing made sense (as usual), just the complete sense of otherness, of weirdness (seeing impish mask-faces made up of moving snake-like multicolored Aztec blocks). I remember catching a brief glimpse of my bookcase, and somehow the angle I was looking at the books, it was like some hidden pattern that had been contained on all their covers matched up (I'm reminded faintly of the scene in the Last Crusade, where the rock bridge across the abyss only because clear at a certain angle of perspective), though I am not certain if this was a true perception, or just part of the hallucination.
I forgot who I was, where I was. I forgot that I had a body. But to me, the most unsettling feeling of many of these spice experiences is that it makes me question the so-called REAL WORLD.
Because in the spice state, the real world does NOT make sense. You can not make sense out of it. And the more I trip with spice, the more I realize, or get a more firm picture of how meaningless (in a sense) it all is. Here I am, sitting on a computer, writing messages on an internet forum, about taking a substance that renders you essentially, temporarily insane (or at least 'out of your mind'), communicating with other people who do the same, for kicks or presumably some type of spiritual illumination. Really, very little of it MAKES sense. Though then I think of the mindless, stress-filled routines that most human beings drive themselves through repeatedly ever day, and to me, that makes still even LESS sense...
The frightening part is that the DMT world doesn't make sense either. It just IS. It fucking jumps out at you, grabs your brain and breaks everything you think you know, but at some point you can get a feeling that it doesn't really matter, that in some way, it will all "be okay" or "is okay," because it just IS, and that's all there is to it. Just like this world, just IS... It may not make any sense, but it still IS, it is still happening. It is going on.
But back to my trip, I was brought back to reality by a song that came on: Pharoahe Monch's "Love" off of J-Dilla's album The Shining. The dissolution of boundaries is one of the hardest things for me to understand with this stuff, because of how intense it is... not smooth and easy, at ALL. Basically, I thought I was Pharoahe Monch, the rapper in the song. Not in a literal sense, but in a, "wow, I am completely identified with his voice and his message," (except remove the 'I') sort of way. This was made even stranger by the fact that I have a large replica Egyptian sarcophagus in my room, and a lot of the time when I trip, I somehow end up staring at that pharaoh's face, or seeing images of it in my mind.
I SLOWLY came to realize I was an individual being, since I had my eyes open and was looking down at my legs, but at first it was more like a distant memory than a true understanding. I was still in a trance state, and I began, automatically singing along with the song. The song cheered me up, and made me feel good, and even though I felt somewhat shitty, I knew the right thing to do was to sing it! To move to it, to dance. So without consciously deciding to, I started singing. Let me say, I love to sing. It's kind of a passion of mine, and a powerful form of expression for me. The singing was very tentative at first, but then it came out in this flow...
I know that people on spice must have had the experience of their voice, or their laugh sounding different to them. It's like your tones become modulated in some weird way. As I was singing, I got this feeling very strongly, like the DMT was speaking "for me" in a way... I can't really describe it, though one of these days I want to record my voice to see if it actually SOUNDS different, or if it's just some kind of perceptual trick.
After the singing, which was only a line or two, I continued to look around at the room to get my bearings. It was strange for things to be where they were in space. I felt like I had just been in a space where everything in the room was contained in the same point, or contained within some higher dimensional order if that makes sense. I almost had to laugh at the way things were arranged in the "real" world because it was so "different." It's almost as if I had the feeling that I had become the space between the objects at some point, and seeing them back from my normal human vantage point, was just odd.
Anyway, just wanted to share this strange experience with my imaginary friends in this imaginary forum in the "real" world. Everyone have a great night, I love you all.
Thought I would share this with everyone.
