I really appreciate the welcoming concern. Concern used to be something I kind of ran from, it's as if I really didn't want people caring for me. I now know that's not true.

I seek attention like anybody, maybe a little more? I don't know why, I feel very under stimulated as a child, I think that has something to do with it. But I really hate what an 'ego' can do to you.

It's kind of something I do now - always keep my ego in check the best way I can. I don't run from anything like I used to. (as much.)

I noticed my life getting a little ...confusing, perhaps? I was having a lot of negative energy build up in me, the only thing I knew to get me in the right direction was a heavy perspective change, because my current one wasn't doing the trick.

It's times like this, when I feel like I've reached my end and there's almost nothing left to do except hone my current mindset or kind of trickle backwards in the opposite direction. (which I've made the mistaken of letting myself do, one too many times.)

If I'm not careful I could become a very negative person.

Positively was a lost skill, that I had to re-aquire. Is it really hard to believe that a psychedelic drug could help exercise that 'attribute?' I think we would agree that it's not?

It's really weird how 'human' I can feel with the proper use of psychedelics. I really have used them a lot, and I'm at the happiest point in my life. Which I haven't been able to say, in oh, seven something years. And it's been like this for over a year. I'm heading in the right direction of truly curing my 'depression' once and for all.

Depression can be looked at like a psychedelic. If you push through the rough experiences you tend to always have some benefit from them. That was one of the most pivotal moments in the LSD studies of the 1950s and 60s. When someone gets on a bad vibe (as we call it) that's the perfect time to use the drug to get them out of their normal perspective so you can talk them through it. It's like pushing through to the end of the race, you win, and everyone else has fallen from exhaustion just like you would have if you didn't keep pushing.

But I never 'push' on psychedelics. I always 'let.' And it takes effort to 'let' it happen. Sometimes you have all these natural feelings coming over you telling you to take control, or fight. No, you have to let the drug take you. That's what I do, and the more I let a ..tryptamine at least, 'take' me, the better time I have.

It's not about trusting the drug, I have no trust in LSD itself, I have trust in how my mind reacts to it. I say I'm trusting the drug, but it's really an exercise on trusting myself. I'm really, deeply into psychology, and I think I have a unique perspective on it already.

I really enjoy this conversation. People really do not challenge my thoughts and beliefs enough...

And I'll be the first to tell you that everything I know could be wrong, and I"m okay with that. I'm still finding out what it is to be happy. I'm in the 'comedown' of an extremely long depression phase. After my last LSD trip I talked about, I feel much calmer and comfortable with myself. I overcame that fear of letting myself go. I trust myself a lot more now.

Those are just a few of the benefits I've reaped.

I've noticed the only bad thing I find, or the most challenging thing to me is the integration of trips. When I used to trip a lot, I would do trips like they were smoking pot. "Well, now's not the best time, but I'll make myself have a good time." Which I was  able to do, for the most part. A psychedelic isn't doing it's job (for me) if it dosen't challenge you in some way. You have to face your fears. I doubt it, but in theory, one day a person could have no fear. (no matter how one comes to that point, drugs, or what have you.)

But I'm not looking for a 'good' time anymore, I'm looking for a 'meaningful' time. And that's such a loose word, I love it. Like I said, everything I know could be wrong, but that's what I like. The only thing I know is that I don't know anything. I'm pretty sure that's been said throughout history, a lot - but it has appeared to me many times as a genuine thought.

I'm using them for positive gain just like anyone else. But I do them when I think it could help me, in life, rather than covering up the need for that help by having a good time, 'trippin nuts' with friends.

Tripping in a social situation can be very rewarding, obviously. But I generally do psychedelics by myself these days. If I don't feel comfortable doing them, I'm not going to. The only negative feelings I get is those pre-dose nervous jitter-butterflies...like any normal, sane individual would. :?:

But please, keep in mind that I am just defending my current beliefs, like I expect anyone to do. That doesn't mean that I'm taking this with a grain of salt, or disregarding it. I came here for opinions, and I take them to heart. Everything said here so far has really meant a lot, so please feel free to share anything. I'm open eyes