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Thanks Oden, I appreciate the concern.

I believe I would never be able to feel as if I do now without the experiences I've had
in the past with psychedelic drugs. And that's just great!

The last time I went to counseling, I just found it a drag. I felt like I knew way more about what I was talking about than my psychologist. We didn't relate, he didn't give me any insights at all. I was more intrigued in him, and how he could seem so unhappy doing one of my favorite professions. He even told me this wasn't his plan. It was quite disappointing.

I really like talking to people in the field of psychology. Even if they don't shed light on my personality or what have you, I always (usually) leave feeling somewhat better about myself.

But I've been trusting myself a lot recently. Finding out what's good intuition and just mind-fog. I don't know, it works for me. I always (usually) start out with extremely low doses.

Some things are for me, some aren't. I feel the strong need to 'bond' with the tryptamine family. I just have to make sure not to wear out my welcome or they will make me feel very uncomfortable. But stopping over there once in a few months is a great, refreshing party - a new view on life.

They help so much with my depression. (What little is left.) It's because I've dealt with it for so long, I know so much about it. I impress a lot of my doctors in my ability to rationalize my depression. It's like a drug, except it forms within me, and I actually truly have the capability to influence it's prominence.

A few days after my latest dose of LSD I was able to bond with my 3 month old daughter in a way like never before. I've always cut back on my cannabis use tremendously, and while it didn't help my depression, it does make me feel more clear headed. Smoking pot now is just like an intoxicating change up from the normal routine. Very refreshing. Not stressing about saving any for 'next time.' That was always so hard for me, with any drug - "To do now, or save for later, that is the question." 8)

I've really made the mistake in trying to hard for the longest time. I tried so hard to be things like smart, happy, level, intuitive, rational...etc. Pretty much every positive quality I feel I need to function at my highest potential. I've learned recently, and this was solely do to the LSD, (I had to remain calm and let the drug do it's thing) that by remaining calm, not forcing anything, than my psyche would naturally do what I was trying so hard to MAKE it do, rather than LET it do it's job.

I tried for so long to find some control board in my mind for the longest time that could just turn on and off the parts of my mind I wanted to use, like a button. We like to compare brains to a computer, but they are so vastly more complex than that. My brain is way smarter than I am conscioiuly aware of, and able to tap into. (same for everyone, I believe.) So it's almost like an insult to my mind to think that it's not strong enough to function on it's own and I have to force it to create [ex - A feeling] what's already there.

<blockquote data-quote="trickshot" data-source="post: 3538298" data-attributes="member: 14539">Thanks Oden, I appreciate the concern. I believe I would never be able to feel as if I do now without the experiences I&#039;ve hadin the past with psychedelic drugs. And that&#039;s just great! The last time I went to counseling, I just found it a drag. I felt like I knew way more about what I was talking about than my psychologist. We didn&#039;t relate, he didn&#039;t give me any insights at all. I was more intrigued in him, and how he could seem so unhappy doing one of my favorite professions. He even told me this wasn&#039;t his plan. It was quite disappointing. I really like talking to people in the field of psychology. Even if they don&#039;t shed light on my personality or what have you, I always (usually) leave feeling somewhat better about myself. But I&#039;ve been trusting myself a lot recently. Finding out what&#039;s good intuition and just mind-fog. I don&#039;t know, it works for me. I always (usually) start out with extremely low doses. Some things are for me, some aren&#039;t. I feel the strong need to &#039;bond&#039; with the tryptamine family. I just have to make sure not to wear out my welcome or they will make me feel very uncomfortable. But stopping over there once in a few months is a great, refreshing party - a new view on life. They help so much with my depression. (What little is left.) It&#039;s because I&#039;ve dealt with it for so long, I know so much about it. I impress a lot of my doctors in my ability to rationalize my depression. It&#039;s like a drug, except it forms within me, and I actually truly have the capability to influence it&#039;s prominence. A few days after my latest dose of LSD I was able to bond with my 3 month old daughter in a way like never before. I&#039;ve always cut back on my cannabis use tremendously, and while it didn&#039;t help my depression, it does make me feel more clear headed. Smoking pot now is just like an intoxicating change up from the normal routine. Very refreshing. Not stressing about saving any for &#039;next time.&#039; That was always so hard for me, with any drug - &quot;To do now, or save for later, that is the question.&quot; 8) I&#039;ve really made the mistake in trying to hard for the longest time. I tried so hard to be things like smart, happy, level, intuitive, rational...etc. Pretty much every positive quality I feel I need to function at my highest potential. I&#039;ve learned recently, and this was solely do to the LSD, (I had to remain calm and let the drug do it&#039;s thing) that by remaining calm, not forcing anything, than my psyche would naturally do what I was trying so hard to MAKE it do, rather than LET it do it&#039;s job.&nbsp; I tried for so long to find some control board in my mind for the longest time that could just turn on and off the parts of my mind I wanted to use, like a button. We like to compare brains to a computer, but they are so vastly more complex than that. My brain is way smarter than I am conscioiuly aware of, and able to tap into. (same for everyone, I believe.) So it&#039;s almost like an insult to my mind to think that it&#039;s not strong enough to function on it&#039;s own and I have to force it to create [ex - A feeling] what&#039;s already there.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="trickshot, post: 3538298, member: 14539"] Thanks Oden, I appreciate the concern. I believe I would never be able to feel as if I do now without the experiences I've had in the past with psychedelic drugs. And that's just great! The last time I went to counseling, I just found it a drag. I felt like I knew way more about what I was talking about than my psychologist. We didn't relate, he didn't give me any insights at all. I was more intrigued in him, and how he could seem so unhappy doing one of my favorite professions. He even told me this wasn't his plan. It was quite disappointing. I really like talking to people in the field of psychology. Even if they don't shed light on my personality or what have you, I always (usually) leave feeling somewhat better about myself. But I've been trusting myself a lot recently. Finding out what's good intuition and just mind-fog. I don't know, it works for me. I always (usually) start out with extremely low doses. Some things are for me, some aren't. I feel the strong need to 'bond' with the tryptamine family. I just have to make sure not to wear out my welcome or they will make me feel very uncomfortable. But stopping over there once in a few months is a great, refreshing party - a new view on life. They help so much with my depression. (What little is left.) It's because I've dealt with it for so long, I know so much about it. I impress a lot of my doctors in my ability to rationalize my depression. It's like a drug, except it forms within me, and I actually truly have the capability to influence it's prominence. A few days after my latest dose of LSD I was able to bond with my 3 month old daughter in a way like never before. I've always cut back on my cannabis use tremendously, and while it didn't help my depression, it does make me feel more clear headed. Smoking pot now is just like an intoxicating change up from the normal routine. Very refreshing. Not stressing about saving any for 'next time.' That was always so hard for me, with any drug - "To do now, or save for later, that is the question." 8) I've really made the mistake in trying to hard for the longest time. I tried so hard to be things like smart, happy, level, intuitive, rational...etc. Pretty much every positive quality I feel I need to function at my highest potential. I've learned recently, and this was solely do to the LSD, (I had to remain calm and let the drug do it's thing) that by remaining calm, not forcing anything, than my psyche would naturally do what I was trying so hard to MAKE it do, rather than LET it do it's job. I tried for so long to find some control board in my mind for the longest time that could just turn on and off the parts of my mind I wanted to use, like a button. We like to compare brains to a computer, but they are so vastly more complex than that. My brain is way smarter than I am conscioiuly aware of, and able to tap into. (same for everyone, I believe.) So it's almost like an insult to my mind to think that it's not strong enough to function on it's own and I have to force it to create [ex - A feeling] what's already there. [/QUOTE]