hypertestudo
Esteemed member
First, apologies for the title, but that was the first thought that popped in my head of how I was going to title this post as soon as I came out of my trip I just had this morning about three hours ago.
This post involves “high strangeness”.
I’m going to make a good faith effort to write this post calmly and rationally.
Next: I. AM. *NOT*: depressed, suicidal, manic, neurotic, psychotic, schizo, paranoid, or anything that could be described as not mentally healthy, at least as far as the average normal person would be. I might even describe myself as above average for mental health. As I sit here and type this, I am fine, happy, relaxed, and no disturbing thoughts.
I am a rookie psychonaut since late summer. I’ve had about half a dozen experiences or so, around the 10mg to 30mg dose or so. I’ve tried to go higher, but it is hard to do so. It took awhile to have good tools, method, equipment, and so on. I’ve extracted my own spice STB: fluffy white, nice quality. Getting the Sherlock glass vapor genie was key for precise dosing and consumption.
I have had these experiences alone, except one attempt with a sitter, but where she ruined the set and setting, and due to some vape tech glitch, I was unable to take any meaningful hits.
I have consistently entered to what I’d describe as a level 2 out of 3 experience, with 3 as a breakthrough, and 2 as a sort of checkpoint-ego-test before the breakthrough. Each experience has built on the prior one…I can’t even began to explain how. Excuse the language, but I can only best describe it as edging to climax to the “ego alignment”. (I don’t think “ego death” or “ego dissolution” accurately or properly describes the experience even though I haven’t experienced it yet.) Each experience revealed a closer understanding of what the ego alignment is about for me. It personally hits home very hard and emotionally painful. I have not had a high enough dose to breakthrough, and I have not yet fully accepted the ego alignment from level 2. I have come close, and communicated at different times, things like “Not yet. Not yet.” And “I’m not ready yet.” And on a couple of occasions the playful bodiless entities have communicated things near the end of the trip like, “ok, come back and see us”, “come see us when you’re ready.”
Generally, the experiences have a disembodied jester/trickster presence. The space was a sort of high-class, macabre, circus/carnival vibe. It would often be lead with bright colors and patterns, especially red and white, but it was not like a bunch of rides and tents. More like dark spaces with dark images. Scenes out of “Something Wicked This Way Comes” is reminiscent. Early on the disembodied jester was quite sinister, and there still is a sinister and hidden rough playfulness continuing. I still recall a shadowy image of the jester presence in a hooded cloak and plague-beak-mask extending with sharp teeth…coming to torment and end me. (It kind of replicated a terrorizing sleep paralysis experience I had more than 30 years ago.) However, it quickly pulled the mask aside, to show me it was just playing a game, before it slipped back over and continued its death-dread against me.
The jester presence has communicated that I am in an ego-alignment game with it and that experiencing (and resisting! experiencing) is going to have real world consequences, some of which are quite unpleasant and undesirable. It is like Michael Douglas starring in 1997 movie, “The Game”. Apparently my game has many levels, and extends to people in this earthly life, two people in particular, who have no experience with the spice. This is where things cross over into high strangeness.
It was almost like foretelling future events. It was showing me negative things in the future that affect me and the people I love. It was very personal and tore me apart. As I came out of the trip, and was realizing everything it was showing me, I was literally shouting “No! No! No! Not so and so!” I was on my knees begging it not to happen, feeling my own and other people’s pains. “What have I done?!” (meaning trying the spice.) It was showing me I was in this game, and it is too late to get out. That it was fated and unavoidable, and that I chose it or designed it before this earthly life. All of these different events and things over the course of my life that have built up to this point. So *weird*!
The sitter is one of the people involved. She is an ex-girlfriend from three years ago who I dated off and on for close to a decade. Last week, I came over to her place to have her sit for me, mostly because I’m somewhat reserved about respiratory arrest alone if I’m able to push into a breakthrough. (I’m in *very* good health, I’m just wanting to take some precaution.) She has never had spice, and it might not be safe for her to try because she takes an SSRI. When I arrived, she was over the top. I can only explain it as performative art and made up for the part. She told me she was having spice-like experiences without taking spice. She was getting revelations from the gleeful tele-tubbies (her version of machine elves) and telling me about things I won’t began to try to narrate. She was experiencing continuous synchronicities. All of this disrupted the settting. I was quite frustrated and left without saying goodbye. She was presenting other oddities too a couple of days before the sitting.
After that discombobulated meeting with her, I had enough of her. For a number of different reasons (including a serious break of my trust and confidence in her), I sent her an email telling her not to contact me anymore, and describing why. The next day, leaving out a lot of details, but she became psychologically problematic, risky behavior to the extent of a risk of (non-suicidal) harm to herself and others to the extent that her mom, ex-husband, and I persuaded her to check herself into a mental health service. Fortunately, she did. She was there for about a week, stabilized, and went home. She has never had extreme behavior like this her entire life.
It’s 11:11 as I look up at the clock, and of course, it’s 11/11 today. Whatever. Where has the time gone this morning!?
What is freaking me out, is that the hyperspace showed me how she is involved, as well as another person. Symbols and things she told me that she claims hyperspace showed her (without using spice). It’s showing me as a sort of god or messiah for this earth, that I’m one of a kind among billions, leading the way for a sort of global awakening.
I’m unable to share some of the personal and future stuff. It’s weird.
What has me on edge from her and hyperspace, is that the more I resist the spice and this fated path which I chose, the weirder it will get. The connection to her, me, and this other person, and our wider circle will force itself upon us. This is despite that I let go of dating, sex, marriage, relationships, etc over three years ago. I’m quite content in my peace, solitude, independence, and last few years of single fatherhood. All I care about is getting my kids launched into adulthood on a good, stable trajectory for their long-term well being, and finishing off my career to retire comfortably.
Despite being told that I designed and chose this: 1) I do not want this; 2) I do not want to play this game; 3) I am highly deterred of trying any more spice; 4) I am not some amazing person, deity, messiah, leader or whatever; 5) it feels like my path is going to be controlled the more I resist; 6) if this path is unavoidable, I want it to slow down, way, way, waaaay down, if not anything for the sake of my beloved kids; and 7) I do not want to go to jail for spice.
I just want a normal life, and I want to better understand what this hyperspace consciousness is. That’s all. Is that too much to ask? But now I feel like I accidentally tapped into something uncontrollable and way bigger than me.
As the trip was coming down, I was pissed off (“motherfuckers!” leave me alone), and it made me feel immense emotional pain for people that I care about.
Another thought, I don’t give a flying fuck what any of you materialist agnostic or deniers disavow; you are wrong: hyperspace does indeed cross over into this earthly reality. It is fucking with my ex-girlfriend and me in ways I can’t even began to explain. After the latest interactions with her last week, I’m decided that I will continue no contact with her for life (for her well-being and mine), but it’s like the hyperspace wants me to take her as a bride. No! Hell no!
Maybe I just need enough strong hit(s) at 45-50mg dose to get through the ego-alignment and breakthrough, but at the moment I don’t see myself going near the spice for another three years, if ever again at all. Even if I go through an ego-alignment once, will I have to go thru that every time on the way to a breakthrough?
WTF is this hyperspace?! I grew up true-blue sixth-generation Mormon, disaffected from religion entirely when I divorced a decade ago, and currently consider myself a nondenominational traditionalist Christian after awakening back to Christianity about three years ago. The possibility that the life hereafter might be very different than what Christians might typically consider it to be…doesn’t bother me at all. My tentative hypothesis is that the religious figures are real in hyperspace, and were real in this earthly life, but they are all also part of this collective hyperspace conscious. A consciousness that includes an infinite variety of individual beings of micro, plant, animal, human, and unimaginable types of varying a/morality and un/intelligence.
This post involves “high strangeness”.
I’m going to make a good faith effort to write this post calmly and rationally.
Next: I. AM. *NOT*: depressed, suicidal, manic, neurotic, psychotic, schizo, paranoid, or anything that could be described as not mentally healthy, at least as far as the average normal person would be. I might even describe myself as above average for mental health. As I sit here and type this, I am fine, happy, relaxed, and no disturbing thoughts.
I am a rookie psychonaut since late summer. I’ve had about half a dozen experiences or so, around the 10mg to 30mg dose or so. I’ve tried to go higher, but it is hard to do so. It took awhile to have good tools, method, equipment, and so on. I’ve extracted my own spice STB: fluffy white, nice quality. Getting the Sherlock glass vapor genie was key for precise dosing and consumption.
I have had these experiences alone, except one attempt with a sitter, but where she ruined the set and setting, and due to some vape tech glitch, I was unable to take any meaningful hits.
I have consistently entered to what I’d describe as a level 2 out of 3 experience, with 3 as a breakthrough, and 2 as a sort of checkpoint-ego-test before the breakthrough. Each experience has built on the prior one…I can’t even began to explain how. Excuse the language, but I can only best describe it as edging to climax to the “ego alignment”. (I don’t think “ego death” or “ego dissolution” accurately or properly describes the experience even though I haven’t experienced it yet.) Each experience revealed a closer understanding of what the ego alignment is about for me. It personally hits home very hard and emotionally painful. I have not had a high enough dose to breakthrough, and I have not yet fully accepted the ego alignment from level 2. I have come close, and communicated at different times, things like “Not yet. Not yet.” And “I’m not ready yet.” And on a couple of occasions the playful bodiless entities have communicated things near the end of the trip like, “ok, come back and see us”, “come see us when you’re ready.”
Generally, the experiences have a disembodied jester/trickster presence. The space was a sort of high-class, macabre, circus/carnival vibe. It would often be lead with bright colors and patterns, especially red and white, but it was not like a bunch of rides and tents. More like dark spaces with dark images. Scenes out of “Something Wicked This Way Comes” is reminiscent. Early on the disembodied jester was quite sinister, and there still is a sinister and hidden rough playfulness continuing. I still recall a shadowy image of the jester presence in a hooded cloak and plague-beak-mask extending with sharp teeth…coming to torment and end me. (It kind of replicated a terrorizing sleep paralysis experience I had more than 30 years ago.) However, it quickly pulled the mask aside, to show me it was just playing a game, before it slipped back over and continued its death-dread against me.
The jester presence has communicated that I am in an ego-alignment game with it and that experiencing (and resisting! experiencing) is going to have real world consequences, some of which are quite unpleasant and undesirable. It is like Michael Douglas starring in 1997 movie, “The Game”. Apparently my game has many levels, and extends to people in this earthly life, two people in particular, who have no experience with the spice. This is where things cross over into high strangeness.
It was almost like foretelling future events. It was showing me negative things in the future that affect me and the people I love. It was very personal and tore me apart. As I came out of the trip, and was realizing everything it was showing me, I was literally shouting “No! No! No! Not so and so!” I was on my knees begging it not to happen, feeling my own and other people’s pains. “What have I done?!” (meaning trying the spice.) It was showing me I was in this game, and it is too late to get out. That it was fated and unavoidable, and that I chose it or designed it before this earthly life. All of these different events and things over the course of my life that have built up to this point. So *weird*!
The sitter is one of the people involved. She is an ex-girlfriend from three years ago who I dated off and on for close to a decade. Last week, I came over to her place to have her sit for me, mostly because I’m somewhat reserved about respiratory arrest alone if I’m able to push into a breakthrough. (I’m in *very* good health, I’m just wanting to take some precaution.) She has never had spice, and it might not be safe for her to try because she takes an SSRI. When I arrived, she was over the top. I can only explain it as performative art and made up for the part. She told me she was having spice-like experiences without taking spice. She was getting revelations from the gleeful tele-tubbies (her version of machine elves) and telling me about things I won’t began to try to narrate. She was experiencing continuous synchronicities. All of this disrupted the settting. I was quite frustrated and left without saying goodbye. She was presenting other oddities too a couple of days before the sitting.
After that discombobulated meeting with her, I had enough of her. For a number of different reasons (including a serious break of my trust and confidence in her), I sent her an email telling her not to contact me anymore, and describing why. The next day, leaving out a lot of details, but she became psychologically problematic, risky behavior to the extent of a risk of (non-suicidal) harm to herself and others to the extent that her mom, ex-husband, and I persuaded her to check herself into a mental health service. Fortunately, she did. She was there for about a week, stabilized, and went home. She has never had extreme behavior like this her entire life.
It’s 11:11 as I look up at the clock, and of course, it’s 11/11 today. Whatever. Where has the time gone this morning!?
What is freaking me out, is that the hyperspace showed me how she is involved, as well as another person. Symbols and things she told me that she claims hyperspace showed her (without using spice). It’s showing me as a sort of god or messiah for this earth, that I’m one of a kind among billions, leading the way for a sort of global awakening.
I’m unable to share some of the personal and future stuff. It’s weird.
What has me on edge from her and hyperspace, is that the more I resist the spice and this fated path which I chose, the weirder it will get. The connection to her, me, and this other person, and our wider circle will force itself upon us. This is despite that I let go of dating, sex, marriage, relationships, etc over three years ago. I’m quite content in my peace, solitude, independence, and last few years of single fatherhood. All I care about is getting my kids launched into adulthood on a good, stable trajectory for their long-term well being, and finishing off my career to retire comfortably.
Despite being told that I designed and chose this: 1) I do not want this; 2) I do not want to play this game; 3) I am highly deterred of trying any more spice; 4) I am not some amazing person, deity, messiah, leader or whatever; 5) it feels like my path is going to be controlled the more I resist; 6) if this path is unavoidable, I want it to slow down, way, way, waaaay down, if not anything for the sake of my beloved kids; and 7) I do not want to go to jail for spice.
I just want a normal life, and I want to better understand what this hyperspace consciousness is. That’s all. Is that too much to ask? But now I feel like I accidentally tapped into something uncontrollable and way bigger than me.
As the trip was coming down, I was pissed off (“motherfuckers!” leave me alone), and it made me feel immense emotional pain for people that I care about.
Another thought, I don’t give a flying fuck what any of you materialist agnostic or deniers disavow; you are wrong: hyperspace does indeed cross over into this earthly reality. It is fucking with my ex-girlfriend and me in ways I can’t even began to explain. After the latest interactions with her last week, I’m decided that I will continue no contact with her for life (for her well-being and mine), but it’s like the hyperspace wants me to take her as a bride. No! Hell no!
Maybe I just need enough strong hit(s) at 45-50mg dose to get through the ego-alignment and breakthrough, but at the moment I don’t see myself going near the spice for another three years, if ever again at all. Even if I go through an ego-alignment once, will I have to go thru that every time on the way to a breakthrough?
WTF is this hyperspace?! I grew up true-blue sixth-generation Mormon, disaffected from religion entirely when I divorced a decade ago, and currently consider myself a nondenominational traditionalist Christian after awakening back to Christianity about three years ago. The possibility that the life hereafter might be very different than what Christians might typically consider it to be…doesn’t bother me at all. My tentative hypothesis is that the religious figures are real in hyperspace, and were real in this earthly life, but they are all also part of this collective hyperspace conscious. A consciousness that includes an infinite variety of individual beings of micro, plant, animal, human, and unimaginable types of varying a/morality and un/intelligence.
