I had to respond cause of what we have in common: long time opiate addiction, and losing a loved parent in the same fashion. I can't give you too much imput on the spice cause I'm a new traveler myself. But with the other, I was fortunate enough to get locked up (jail detox). And found spice after I was clean.

To break it down, the spirits cleansed me/ revitalized me, but told me addiction is an Earthly thing and to be realistic... Meaning the experience by no means took away my urges. It's been over 3 months now but I still fight my urges everyday. But for some reason I accept it and get through it now, along with support and spirituality. It's hard to explain really.

But anyway, welcome to the Nexus. And good luck!