chaosbydesign
chaos pixie of hyperspace
Background info:
Gender: F
Weight: 95 lbs
Mindset: Adventurous, sleepy, good.
The Experience:
I started off by drinking some mushroom tea. I had infused exactly 1 gram of what I knew to be very potent mushrooms into the water, previously boiled. I really enjoyed drinking the mushroom tea; it's always so calming and meditative for me to just sit/lay down drinking the tea and clearing my mind before the journey. It feels sacred and reminiscent of something my ancestors did - very grounding for me.
I drank the tea slowly and when I finished it, I felt a little something already as it had been about 20 minutes. I then prepared a bowl of caapi leaves on top of weed for smoking. I went to the window and smoked these together. I smoked three bowls in succession because I knew that I needed a substantial amount of these caapi leaves (not extract; just plain leaves) to get a decent effect and to achieve potentiation of the trip. I definitely got the potentiation I was looking for! It was a relatively quick but still somewhat gradual ascent, and the difference was very noticeable. I felt like the come-up all happened at once after the effects of the caapi hit me. I felt dreamier and more blissful, as caapi seems to help bring about this peaceful effect. My open eye visuals became particularly interesting, and I began to get a similar visual effect to many of the other times I've done mushrooms and/or DMT. This effect can be best described as something that happens when I look ahead of myself anywhere from 5 to 20 feet away. What happens is, wherever I'm looking, the empty space that my eyes are focused on develops into various shapes. It's as if the empty space appears as a type of clear plasma and then starts to get defined edges and proceeds to form into defined shapes… then, the shapes break apart and the small pieces come towards me on either side. As the pieces come towards me, sometimes they move in strange patterns and other times they messily tumble on over. But every time this happens, the pieces are on each side, right and left, of where I was originally looking.. and they tumble over to me on either side above my head and then come down on either side of me. When they come down upon me, I can feel their energy sweep over me. Sometimes it almost feels like a light breeze. This happened countless times throughout the trip. In fact, from smoking the caapi on, I don't think this effect went away for the entire experience. Things felt very "hyperspacey" and alien yet familiar in a similar way to the DMT space. I kept losing myself in strange trains of thought that just spiraled deeper and deeper until words could not describe under any circumstances what these concepts were. Whenever I came out of the trance a bit and attempted to extract whatever it was I had just been thinking about, the thoughts would dissipate, almost as if they weren't compatible with the conscious part of my mind. In fact, sometimes the thoughts would even seem to disguise themselves as other thoughts that made more sense, but I would feel that these "replacement thoughts" didn't come close to the complexity or meaning of the original ones. I came to call the original thoughts "inaccessible thoughts", because usually I can't access them from my conscious mind. (These thoughts come to my mind often when using caapi, and since this experience, when using caapi other times I have been able to "extract" a few of them by trying exceptionally hard to hold on to them and then write them down as best as I can. In this case, the thoughts have ended up translating to what seem to be premonitions of the future; various situations that seem plausible but have never actually happened - at least not yet!)
Anyway, I kept on smoking the caapi and went into my room to trance out. I found that this level of blissfulness was hard to contain… I eagerly let go of myself and went back and forth between realities. I kept lapsing out of existence and returning "home". So refreshing and just… so right. There was no mistaking that this feeling was quite erotic as well, though not by a physical sense in the slightest. On the astral plane, various entities came to me and would give me advice and food for thought. Many of these issues are personal, but they had to do with various life choices, things that could or might happen in my life, and people in my life that I have met or would meet and change the course of my life forever. Although this astral plane was not by any means only inhabited by light forces (as opposed to dark ones), I will say that it felt perfectly crafted. It was exactly what it needed to be and I accepted it completely and lovingly. Because I wasn't really attached to my ego, a lot of this banter between me and entities took place through abstract communications that seemed to be of a different nature or language. However, I could still decode and understand it because it coincided with the kinds of communications that my ego self can normally understand. These communications just had to be transmitted in alternate ways since my ego self was barely present. I can't put into words what these abstract communications were, because they were just that - too abstract!
Soon enough, I decided to put about 20mg of DMT in the pipe between the caapi leaves. This turned out to be a great idea! I felt no hesitation this time (as nearly every time before doing DMT, I become nervous even though I love it). The caapi actually made me kind of 'crave' the DMT it seemed. I have heard of this happening to others as well with caapi… The DMT just being, well, YUMMY, for lack of a better adjective… After having the DMT, I felt super trancey and wanted to close my eyes… but oddly enough, I felt that some sort of entity was telling me to keep them open. I don't know why this is. When I closed my eyes, I saw nothing… but when I kept my eyes open, the entire room was transformed and there were beings inside every piece of furniture; every "empty" space; every wall… I could feel the personalities of each being. It was out of this world and amazing. Sometimes the bliss would overcome me and I would start to close my eyes but then a conceptual voice or entity would alert me and tell me to keep my eyes open and pay attention to what was happening in the room. My intention of this experience had been to take in my surroundings and appreciate them, because I would be moving soon and I wanted to reflect on the times I had spent at this location… so maybe this was just a way for me to fulfill my original intention. Because this is a new house, nobody has lived in it before its current inhabitants (including me).. otherwise perhaps I would have felt the energies of previous inhabitants and relived foreign memories. I felt as if I were reliving various things that had happened in the room so far to me and others that had lived here, all of which felt vaguely familiar (because they'd taken place in my life)… but since I was an egoless being, I didn't connect them to my personal life. I felt that I was able to see them in a completely different light, free of attachments and judgements. It was undoubtedly therapeutic.
I walked into the backyard after this and revisited the plant spirits outside. I'd had an experience a couple of weeks before where I'd taken 1.5 grams of the same mushrooms and had felt all of the plants' personalities. There was one tree that looked like a popsicle and it was pretty huge. I felt like this tree was almost condescending and didn't really like humans that much. There was another plant with jagged leaves that seemed very feminine and stylish. I picked up on an ambivalent attitude from this plant. Another tree was one in which I had climbed in the past to save my partner's cat, and he greeted me with recognition and approval. All throughout this time, I kept smoking bowls with caapi and weed mixed together. Those "empty space" visuals never went away. It seemed like this time, they were often chess-themed. There were some bowling pins included in there too, for whatever reason… There were mainly pawns and queens and horses and other chess pieces folding and breaking into pieces and coming towards me everywhere I turned. I found this to be fascinating, and if I moved my eyes in certain ways, I could control the ways in which they broke into pieces and the patterns they made on the way over to me. I liked the way it felt when they came down above my head and landed on either side of me; it felt like they were saying hello and giving me presents. The perfectly blissful feeling of exploring the hyperspace version of the territory I was usually so familiar with and appreciating everything about existence persisted for me, and I couldn't have possibly been happier to be right where I was in the moment.
I went inside and loaded up another bowl of weed + caapi + DMT, and then went back outside to the side of the house and sat on a concrete block in the yard. It had been more than half an hour since the last time I had DMT, as I like to wait at least 30 minutes between DMT voyages when I'm already tripping on something else (or at all, for that matter, but I tend to only use DMT on top of other psychedelics nowadays). Because I'd already smoked a couple bowls of caapi prior to this, I got started on the bowl with the DMT right away. Like the last time, it came on very strongly with a relatively small amount… but this time, I experienced an entirely different emotional effect. Suddenly, an intense fear was struck into me. It was like one second I felt totally relaxed and blissful, and the next second I was dealing with a deep-rooted fear whose origin was unknown to me. The first thing I noticed was the ground and how I could see everything decaying and turning into other things. It was as if I was concentrating on how different animals and organic materials had absorbed into the dirt and grass and decayed, and then the particles that made those up recycled themselves into other things. I felt as if I was watching this cycle of death and rebirth and became hyperaware of all of the things that had died and decomposed and then been recycled into new materials and new life in this very yard. However, the random fear seemed very urgent. It seemed like somebody was trying to tell me something important. I noticed that a certain triangular part of the grass a little bit in front of me to the left was much brighter than the rest of the yard (it wasn't actually, but that's what I saw). I understood that this triangular section of the yard was apparently a "danger zone", and I felt that some entity was warning me that there were negative spirits there and I had to be extra careful and aware to not allow the negativity in to my own psyche. At the time, I wasn't sure what to make of this and still am not sure to this day. I don't necessarily believe in spirits or DMT entities as being apart from my consciousness (I don't have any beliefs when it comes to this sort of thing - I keep an open mind to all possibilities), but at the time, the fear made it seem so real to me that I tried to listen to the entity that had just communicated to me to be careful, and I stayed aware and alert so as to not let in this negative energy that was threatening me in the "danger zone". This fear gradually dissipated and I once again felt blessed and left with the same blissful and transcendent tryptamine feeling I'd had throughout the entire experience up until that random fearful moment. During the moments where I felt fearful, it didn't actually bother me very much. I took the fear for what it was and didn't make it into anything else; fear is just an emotion. I knew somewhere within myself that I didn't *actually* have anything to fear. I just wondered, and still do, what this meant or whether I might be able to think of any metaphorical interpretations to what I experienced in the yard.
After I came down from the DMT, I was still seeing plenty of OEVs and still seeing the objects forming out of empty space and tumbling towards me. They were like presents for me. (Yay!) I decided to take a walk to the park down the street. The leaves were just beginning to change, as my favorite season, Autumn, was starting! The leaves delighted me and walking felt interesting. It was like I was hovering a few inches off the ground. When I got to the park, I passed some people and could feel all of their energies very intensely. I got the sense that most of these people didn't really look too deeply into life, which felt like a shame to me… but I supposed that everyone was just who they were meant to be all the same. It was incredibly interesting being at the park people-watching, and I felt like I could hear things and make out words being said from far away (this happens to me a lot on caapi where I experience these heightened sensory abilities). I felt like a fly on the wall in the distance; a spy, almost. That's how clear things were that people were saying from far away. I had begun to get very tired by this point, as it was almost 6 hours after I'd drank the tea. I sat down on a log in the park somewhere and put my head down and just tranced out in a half trippy, half sleepy state of mind. I stayed here for another 20 minutes or so, then began to walk back home. As soon as I got home, feeling refreshed from the nice afterglow, I jumped into bed and fell into a deeper-than-usual sleep rather quickly.
Because caapi is a RIMA MAOI and doesn't last very long, and on top of that, my route of administration was smoking, I experienced no negative side effects such as nausea or stomach discomfort and did not have to watch my diet. I felt that the caapi made the mushroom trip MUCH more visual than I'd ever experienced mushrooms to be before, and I felt much more spiritually ecstatic than usual throughout the entire experience. I also felt much more dreamlike. Smoked caapi seems to work wonders with mushrooms and DMT… I'm going to have to explore this combination furthermore!
Gender: F
Weight: 95 lbs
Mindset: Adventurous, sleepy, good.
The Experience:
I started off by drinking some mushroom tea. I had infused exactly 1 gram of what I knew to be very potent mushrooms into the water, previously boiled. I really enjoyed drinking the mushroom tea; it's always so calming and meditative for me to just sit/lay down drinking the tea and clearing my mind before the journey. It feels sacred and reminiscent of something my ancestors did - very grounding for me.
I drank the tea slowly and when I finished it, I felt a little something already as it had been about 20 minutes. I then prepared a bowl of caapi leaves on top of weed for smoking. I went to the window and smoked these together. I smoked three bowls in succession because I knew that I needed a substantial amount of these caapi leaves (not extract; just plain leaves) to get a decent effect and to achieve potentiation of the trip. I definitely got the potentiation I was looking for! It was a relatively quick but still somewhat gradual ascent, and the difference was very noticeable. I felt like the come-up all happened at once after the effects of the caapi hit me. I felt dreamier and more blissful, as caapi seems to help bring about this peaceful effect. My open eye visuals became particularly interesting, and I began to get a similar visual effect to many of the other times I've done mushrooms and/or DMT. This effect can be best described as something that happens when I look ahead of myself anywhere from 5 to 20 feet away. What happens is, wherever I'm looking, the empty space that my eyes are focused on develops into various shapes. It's as if the empty space appears as a type of clear plasma and then starts to get defined edges and proceeds to form into defined shapes… then, the shapes break apart and the small pieces come towards me on either side. As the pieces come towards me, sometimes they move in strange patterns and other times they messily tumble on over. But every time this happens, the pieces are on each side, right and left, of where I was originally looking.. and they tumble over to me on either side above my head and then come down on either side of me. When they come down upon me, I can feel their energy sweep over me. Sometimes it almost feels like a light breeze. This happened countless times throughout the trip. In fact, from smoking the caapi on, I don't think this effect went away for the entire experience. Things felt very "hyperspacey" and alien yet familiar in a similar way to the DMT space. I kept losing myself in strange trains of thought that just spiraled deeper and deeper until words could not describe under any circumstances what these concepts were. Whenever I came out of the trance a bit and attempted to extract whatever it was I had just been thinking about, the thoughts would dissipate, almost as if they weren't compatible with the conscious part of my mind. In fact, sometimes the thoughts would even seem to disguise themselves as other thoughts that made more sense, but I would feel that these "replacement thoughts" didn't come close to the complexity or meaning of the original ones. I came to call the original thoughts "inaccessible thoughts", because usually I can't access them from my conscious mind. (These thoughts come to my mind often when using caapi, and since this experience, when using caapi other times I have been able to "extract" a few of them by trying exceptionally hard to hold on to them and then write them down as best as I can. In this case, the thoughts have ended up translating to what seem to be premonitions of the future; various situations that seem plausible but have never actually happened - at least not yet!)
Anyway, I kept on smoking the caapi and went into my room to trance out. I found that this level of blissfulness was hard to contain… I eagerly let go of myself and went back and forth between realities. I kept lapsing out of existence and returning "home". So refreshing and just… so right. There was no mistaking that this feeling was quite erotic as well, though not by a physical sense in the slightest. On the astral plane, various entities came to me and would give me advice and food for thought. Many of these issues are personal, but they had to do with various life choices, things that could or might happen in my life, and people in my life that I have met or would meet and change the course of my life forever. Although this astral plane was not by any means only inhabited by light forces (as opposed to dark ones), I will say that it felt perfectly crafted. It was exactly what it needed to be and I accepted it completely and lovingly. Because I wasn't really attached to my ego, a lot of this banter between me and entities took place through abstract communications that seemed to be of a different nature or language. However, I could still decode and understand it because it coincided with the kinds of communications that my ego self can normally understand. These communications just had to be transmitted in alternate ways since my ego self was barely present. I can't put into words what these abstract communications were, because they were just that - too abstract!
Soon enough, I decided to put about 20mg of DMT in the pipe between the caapi leaves. This turned out to be a great idea! I felt no hesitation this time (as nearly every time before doing DMT, I become nervous even though I love it). The caapi actually made me kind of 'crave' the DMT it seemed. I have heard of this happening to others as well with caapi… The DMT just being, well, YUMMY, for lack of a better adjective… After having the DMT, I felt super trancey and wanted to close my eyes… but oddly enough, I felt that some sort of entity was telling me to keep them open. I don't know why this is. When I closed my eyes, I saw nothing… but when I kept my eyes open, the entire room was transformed and there were beings inside every piece of furniture; every "empty" space; every wall… I could feel the personalities of each being. It was out of this world and amazing. Sometimes the bliss would overcome me and I would start to close my eyes but then a conceptual voice or entity would alert me and tell me to keep my eyes open and pay attention to what was happening in the room. My intention of this experience had been to take in my surroundings and appreciate them, because I would be moving soon and I wanted to reflect on the times I had spent at this location… so maybe this was just a way for me to fulfill my original intention. Because this is a new house, nobody has lived in it before its current inhabitants (including me).. otherwise perhaps I would have felt the energies of previous inhabitants and relived foreign memories. I felt as if I were reliving various things that had happened in the room so far to me and others that had lived here, all of which felt vaguely familiar (because they'd taken place in my life)… but since I was an egoless being, I didn't connect them to my personal life. I felt that I was able to see them in a completely different light, free of attachments and judgements. It was undoubtedly therapeutic.
I walked into the backyard after this and revisited the plant spirits outside. I'd had an experience a couple of weeks before where I'd taken 1.5 grams of the same mushrooms and had felt all of the plants' personalities. There was one tree that looked like a popsicle and it was pretty huge. I felt like this tree was almost condescending and didn't really like humans that much. There was another plant with jagged leaves that seemed very feminine and stylish. I picked up on an ambivalent attitude from this plant. Another tree was one in which I had climbed in the past to save my partner's cat, and he greeted me with recognition and approval. All throughout this time, I kept smoking bowls with caapi and weed mixed together. Those "empty space" visuals never went away. It seemed like this time, they were often chess-themed. There were some bowling pins included in there too, for whatever reason… There were mainly pawns and queens and horses and other chess pieces folding and breaking into pieces and coming towards me everywhere I turned. I found this to be fascinating, and if I moved my eyes in certain ways, I could control the ways in which they broke into pieces and the patterns they made on the way over to me. I liked the way it felt when they came down above my head and landed on either side of me; it felt like they were saying hello and giving me presents. The perfectly blissful feeling of exploring the hyperspace version of the territory I was usually so familiar with and appreciating everything about existence persisted for me, and I couldn't have possibly been happier to be right where I was in the moment.
I went inside and loaded up another bowl of weed + caapi + DMT, and then went back outside to the side of the house and sat on a concrete block in the yard. It had been more than half an hour since the last time I had DMT, as I like to wait at least 30 minutes between DMT voyages when I'm already tripping on something else (or at all, for that matter, but I tend to only use DMT on top of other psychedelics nowadays). Because I'd already smoked a couple bowls of caapi prior to this, I got started on the bowl with the DMT right away. Like the last time, it came on very strongly with a relatively small amount… but this time, I experienced an entirely different emotional effect. Suddenly, an intense fear was struck into me. It was like one second I felt totally relaxed and blissful, and the next second I was dealing with a deep-rooted fear whose origin was unknown to me. The first thing I noticed was the ground and how I could see everything decaying and turning into other things. It was as if I was concentrating on how different animals and organic materials had absorbed into the dirt and grass and decayed, and then the particles that made those up recycled themselves into other things. I felt as if I was watching this cycle of death and rebirth and became hyperaware of all of the things that had died and decomposed and then been recycled into new materials and new life in this very yard. However, the random fear seemed very urgent. It seemed like somebody was trying to tell me something important. I noticed that a certain triangular part of the grass a little bit in front of me to the left was much brighter than the rest of the yard (it wasn't actually, but that's what I saw). I understood that this triangular section of the yard was apparently a "danger zone", and I felt that some entity was warning me that there were negative spirits there and I had to be extra careful and aware to not allow the negativity in to my own psyche. At the time, I wasn't sure what to make of this and still am not sure to this day. I don't necessarily believe in spirits or DMT entities as being apart from my consciousness (I don't have any beliefs when it comes to this sort of thing - I keep an open mind to all possibilities), but at the time, the fear made it seem so real to me that I tried to listen to the entity that had just communicated to me to be careful, and I stayed aware and alert so as to not let in this negative energy that was threatening me in the "danger zone". This fear gradually dissipated and I once again felt blessed and left with the same blissful and transcendent tryptamine feeling I'd had throughout the entire experience up until that random fearful moment. During the moments where I felt fearful, it didn't actually bother me very much. I took the fear for what it was and didn't make it into anything else; fear is just an emotion. I knew somewhere within myself that I didn't *actually* have anything to fear. I just wondered, and still do, what this meant or whether I might be able to think of any metaphorical interpretations to what I experienced in the yard.
After I came down from the DMT, I was still seeing plenty of OEVs and still seeing the objects forming out of empty space and tumbling towards me. They were like presents for me. (Yay!) I decided to take a walk to the park down the street. The leaves were just beginning to change, as my favorite season, Autumn, was starting! The leaves delighted me and walking felt interesting. It was like I was hovering a few inches off the ground. When I got to the park, I passed some people and could feel all of their energies very intensely. I got the sense that most of these people didn't really look too deeply into life, which felt like a shame to me… but I supposed that everyone was just who they were meant to be all the same. It was incredibly interesting being at the park people-watching, and I felt like I could hear things and make out words being said from far away (this happens to me a lot on caapi where I experience these heightened sensory abilities). I felt like a fly on the wall in the distance; a spy, almost. That's how clear things were that people were saying from far away. I had begun to get very tired by this point, as it was almost 6 hours after I'd drank the tea. I sat down on a log in the park somewhere and put my head down and just tranced out in a half trippy, half sleepy state of mind. I stayed here for another 20 minutes or so, then began to walk back home. As soon as I got home, feeling refreshed from the nice afterglow, I jumped into bed and fell into a deeper-than-usual sleep rather quickly.
Because caapi is a RIMA MAOI and doesn't last very long, and on top of that, my route of administration was smoking, I experienced no negative side effects such as nausea or stomach discomfort and did not have to watch my diet. I felt that the caapi made the mushroom trip MUCH more visual than I'd ever experienced mushrooms to be before, and I felt much more spiritually ecstatic than usual throughout the entire experience. I also felt much more dreamlike. Smoked caapi seems to work wonders with mushrooms and DMT… I'm going to have to explore this combination furthermore!
