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After that summer when she had to go back to school for her senior year i decided to move away again because i couldn't stand living in my hometown, it was just too depressing. I had to live in my car for awhile because i was broke but i figured i would find a job and then find a place sometime after that. Well weeks turned into months and i was approaching the 3 month mark living in my car with not a single place in the entire city willing to hire me. After applying to dozens upon dozens of places for weeks on end and only a few hundred dollars away from maxing out my credit card, i finally got an offer from dominos pizza willing to give me 12 hours a week at $8 an hour. It was a slap in the face and i knew it wouldn't be worth it so i turned it down. What was even worse was that it was winter time and it was starting to get really cold at night. I knew the same old negative force was at work in my life still when my heater went out in the middle of december, pretty much out of nowhere. I managed to get by for a few nights but it was pretty brutal. I decided one morning after waking up thinking I had frostbite on my toes to go ahead and charge another $200 to my credit card to get it fixed. Then, like pure fate, only 2 days after i got it fixed my heater went out AGAIN. The first time i needed a new motor for the fan because it wasn't blowing out any air at all, but now this time it was blowing the air just fine except it was only blowing cold air, not hot. This time the repairs were going to cost over $500 because it involved the heater block which was a much more serious problem than the first time. I could do nothing but throw my hands up in the air because i knew somebody hated me very much and was doing everything in their power to hurt me.

I went to a psychic shortly after to see if she could help me out and give me some answers, but it became clear to me after she kept asking me for more money and asking me to buy expensive candles and tabernacles that she was just tricking me and feeding me full of lies. I was so desperate at this point for some answers that i was willing to do anything. When i thought all hope was lost and i spent the last $25 on my credit card to fill up my gas tank, a miracle happened. I got a call from a staffing agency that i was speaking with who informed me of a job about 350 miles away who were willing to hire me if i was willing to move. I had no other choice, so within a day i hit the road and with about 75 cents worth of change to my name i made it to my destination on fumes with the needle on the "E" mark thinking i was going to run out of gas before i made it. The next year wasn't much better for me, but i was making good money because i was working close to 100 hours a week and pretty much just commiting all my time to working and making money. I still had that incredible emptiness inside though, and i started to get serious about reading esoteric books that i found on the internet in my spare time to try and help me out a bit. Long story short, i found a book that mentioned ayahuasca in one of the chapters and after some more reading and research on it, i felt like it could finally be the answer that i was looking for.

After about a week after i first learned about ayahuasca, i made daring move to quit my job and purchase a plane ticket for Peru to seek my healing from this plant that i hoped could give me some answers. I didn't know spanish and i didn't know what i was getting into, but i had a healing center picked out and i figured that worst come to worst i would find a hostel and maybe another american who could help me out and send me in the right direction. All went according to plan though, and, as promised, i was greeted at the airport by my translator and i was taken to the shaman's house for what would be my first ceremony that night. I was pretty nervous, but mostly excited because i had been thinking about this moment for days. When i took my first cup, i realized that what i was told was definitely true- it was an extremely horrible taste. But that was the last thing on my mind, and as i sat in my chair waiting patiently for the drug to kick in while the ceremony went on, i was starting to get confused because i couldn't feel anything. Hours passed and by time it was all over, i hadn't felt a single thing from it. I was very disappointed, but i was promised that the following ceremony in 2 days would prove to be much better, as we were going to the jungle for 5 days and i would have 2 more ceremonies while i was out there.

<blockquote data-quote="cecil_cbr" data-source="post: 3422307" data-attributes="member: 8293">After that summer when she had to go back to school for her senior year i decided to move away again because i couldn&#039;t stand living in my hometown, it was just too depressing.&nbsp; I had to live in my car for awhile because i was broke but i figured i would find a job and then find a place sometime after that.&nbsp; Well weeks turned into months and i was approaching the 3 month mark living in my car with not a single place in the entire city willing to hire me.&nbsp; After applying to dozens upon dozens of places for weeks on end and only a few hundred dollars away from maxing out my credit card, i finally got an offer from dominos pizza willing to give me 12 hours a week at $8 an hour.&nbsp; It was a slap in the face and i knew it wouldn&#039;t be worth it so i turned it down.&nbsp; What was even worse was that it was winter time and it was starting to get really cold at night.&nbsp; I knew the same old negative force was at work in my life still when my heater went out in the middle of december, pretty much out of nowhere.&nbsp; I managed to get by for a few nights but it was pretty brutal.&nbsp;&nbsp; I decided one morning after waking up thinking I had frostbite on my toes to go ahead and charge another $200 to my credit card to get it fixed.&nbsp; Then, like pure fate, only 2 days after i got it fixed my heater went out AGAIN.&nbsp; The first time i needed a new motor for the fan because it wasn&#039;t blowing out any air at all, but now this time it was blowing the air just fine except it was only blowing cold air, not hot.&nbsp; This time the repairs were going to cost over $500 because it involved the heater block which was a much more serious problem than the first time.&nbsp; I could do nothing but throw my hands up in the air because i knew somebody hated me very much and was doing everything in their power to hurt me.I went to a psychic shortly after to see if she could help me out and give me some answers, but it became clear to me after she kept asking me for more money and asking me to buy expensive candles and tabernacles that she was just tricking me and feeding me full of lies.&nbsp; I was so desperate at this point for some answers that i was willing to do anything.&nbsp; When i thought all hope was lost and i spent the last $25 on my credit card to fill up my gas tank, a miracle happened.&nbsp; I got a call from a staffing agency that i was speaking with who informed me of a job about 350 miles away who were willing to hire me if i was willing to move.&nbsp; I had no other choice, so within a day i hit the road and with about 75 cents worth of change to my name i made it to my destination on fumes with the needle on the &quot;E&quot; mark thinking i was going to run out of gas before i made it.&nbsp; The next year wasn&#039;t much better for me, but i was making good money because i was working close to 100 hours a week and pretty much just commiting all my time to working and making money.&nbsp; I still had that incredible emptiness inside though, and i started to get serious about reading esoteric books that i found on the internet in my spare time to try and help me out a bit.&nbsp; Long story short, i found a book that mentioned ayahuasca in one of the chapters and after some more reading and research on it, i felt like it could finally be the answer that i was looking for.&nbsp; After about a week after i first learned about ayahuasca, i made daring move to quit my job and purchase a plane ticket for Peru to seek my healing from this plant that i hoped could give me some answers.&nbsp; I didn&#039;t know spanish and i didn&#039;t know what i was getting into, but i had a healing center picked out and i figured that worst come to worst i would find a hostel and maybe another american who could help me out and send me in the right direction.&nbsp; All went according to plan though, and, as promised, i was greeted at the airport by my translator and i was taken to the shaman&#039;s house for what would be my first ceremony that night.&nbsp; I was pretty nervous, but mostly excited because i had been thinking about this moment for days.&nbsp; When i took my first cup, i realized that what i was told was definitely true- it was an extremely horrible taste.&nbsp; But that was the last thing on my mind, and as i sat in my chair waiting patiently for the drug to kick in while the ceremony went on, i was starting to get confused because i couldn&#039;t feel anything.&nbsp; Hours passed and by time it was all over, i hadn&#039;t felt a single thing from it.&nbsp; I was very disappointed, but i was promised that the following ceremony in 2 days would prove to be much better, as we were going to the jungle for 5 days and i would have 2 more ceremonies while i was out there.</blockquote>

[QUOTE="cecil_cbr, post: 3422307, member: 8293"] After that summer when she had to go back to school for her senior year i decided to move away again because i couldn't stand living in my hometown, it was just too depressing. I had to live in my car for awhile because i was broke but i figured i would find a job and then find a place sometime after that. Well weeks turned into months and i was approaching the 3 month mark living in my car with not a single place in the entire city willing to hire me. After applying to dozens upon dozens of places for weeks on end and only a few hundred dollars away from maxing out my credit card, i finally got an offer from dominos pizza willing to give me 12 hours a week at $8 an hour. It was a slap in the face and i knew it wouldn't be worth it so i turned it down. What was even worse was that it was winter time and it was starting to get really cold at night. I knew the same old negative force was at work in my life still when my heater went out in the middle of december, pretty much out of nowhere. I managed to get by for a few nights but it was pretty brutal. I decided one morning after waking up thinking I had frostbite on my toes to go ahead and charge another $200 to my credit card to get it fixed. Then, like pure fate, only 2 days after i got it fixed my heater went out AGAIN. The first time i needed a new motor for the fan because it wasn't blowing out any air at all, but now this time it was blowing the air just fine except it was only blowing cold air, not hot. This time the repairs were going to cost over $500 because it involved the heater block which was a much more serious problem than the first time. I could do nothing but throw my hands up in the air because i knew somebody hated me very much and was doing everything in their power to hurt me. I went to a psychic shortly after to see if she could help me out and give me some answers, but it became clear to me after she kept asking me for more money and asking me to buy expensive candles and tabernacles that she was just tricking me and feeding me full of lies. I was so desperate at this point for some answers that i was willing to do anything. When i thought all hope was lost and i spent the last $25 on my credit card to fill up my gas tank, a miracle happened. I got a call from a staffing agency that i was speaking with who informed me of a job about 350 miles away who were willing to hire me if i was willing to move. I had no other choice, so within a day i hit the road and with about 75 cents worth of change to my name i made it to my destination on fumes with the needle on the "E" mark thinking i was going to run out of gas before i made it. The next year wasn't much better for me, but i was making good money because i was working close to 100 hours a week and pretty much just commiting all my time to working and making money. I still had that incredible emptiness inside though, and i started to get serious about reading esoteric books that i found on the internet in my spare time to try and help me out a bit. Long story short, i found a book that mentioned ayahuasca in one of the chapters and after some more reading and research on it, i felt like it could finally be the answer that i was looking for. After about a week after i first learned about ayahuasca, i made daring move to quit my job and purchase a plane ticket for Peru to seek my healing from this plant that i hoped could give me some answers. I didn't know spanish and i didn't know what i was getting into, but i had a healing center picked out and i figured that worst come to worst i would find a hostel and maybe another american who could help me out and send me in the right direction. All went according to plan though, and, as promised, i was greeted at the airport by my translator and i was taken to the shaman's house for what would be my first ceremony that night. I was pretty nervous, but mostly excited because i had been thinking about this moment for days. When i took my first cup, i realized that what i was told was definitely true- it was an extremely horrible taste. But that was the last thing on my mind, and as i sat in my chair waiting patiently for the drug to kick in while the ceremony went on, i was starting to get confused because i couldn't feel anything. Hours passed and by time it was all over, i hadn't felt a single thing from it. I was very disappointed, but i was promised that the following ceremony in 2 days would prove to be much better, as we were going to the jungle for 5 days and i would have 2 more ceremonies while i was out there. [/QUOTE]