Please forgive me but what a wonderful story albeit long. Your adversity will reap you great rewards. We humans are strong independent, self sufficient creatures. Imagine the gratitude you are capable of feeling. Your willingness to work to provide.

How about if your story was like this.

My mom and dad gave me everything as a child. I almost ran away from home but instead lived in the beach house for 6 months because for my 16th birthday i got a 3 series BMW when i asked for a 5 series. I was crushed. My dad made a generous donation to Harvard so i could go and get a 1.7 GPA. When i dropped out he bought me a company but i bankrupted it.

The fictional person in that story will  most likely never appreciate anything. You on the otherhand might get a decent place with a porch and on a warm spring day have a tasty meal with your needs met and look back on your road and have a complete feeling of wholeness and satisfaction.

I personally dont believe you are paying for sins in previous life. (but wtf do I know) I believe we chose this life and how to cope with it we have to find in ourselves. To me you represent the indomitable human spirit that didnt give up. I commend and admire your suffering.