Shponglenaut
Rising Star
Sooo !!
My english isnt that good but i hope you can follow my text and intensions well...
My Journey started a long time ago , my psychonautism started when i was 11 , i had my first mindexpandings (without substances) i dreamed lucid ,i visited new ground ,it was an alienification of the ilusion not reality , what hapened is i got more conscious , its like yoir in your house knowing that you have a cellar and attic too,unable to handle it or i dodnt know what to do or what it was because my surroundings made me belive i might gone crazy haha. , wich scared me in the beginning , then with the age and expirience i got further and further...
and so on , before 4 months a new era started , my thirst for wisdom and answers has grown realy big , and i become more and more conscious , i experimented a lot , with dreams , with boundarydisolution , with reality , and the universe responded to me on each question , it was like a download of the arcaik medium , i saw it hapen life , it was great.
I also dreamed a lot , @ the beginning i had a dream , i was escaping the Platonic Cave , but the setting was more modern , it was a church , the fire was my Theaterteacher , there was a projector , and the people , watching these shadows , in some kind of movie , believing that this might be the true truth...
I turned away , and i saw some tecnicians , the croud molested me , so i decided to recreat the whole thing , but just before the croud arived , so the room was empty , just my teacher sitting there , the back wall of the church was allready crumbling , and she asked me to ghet her some kinda vegetables , so the back wall , was now a big hole , and i breaked through the other side , out , and it was like a massive wave , like a world refresh, it was all real , the lucidity was now so strong , i saw a pedestrian , a indian one , i grabed him in my overwhelming euphoria, extasy and told, yeled at him that im dreaming ...
and then , it was tike to wake up , a light soaked me from above , it was like in Waking Life , i tried to grab the churchwall but i sliped and as i screamed no (iwas realy screaming) i woke up , and from then on thing started to be different.
if you ghet deeper in the symbology , you might see that from then i was like freed.
i breaked just to the other side haha , i started even more lucid dreaming , and my journeys where intense , and each time ive grown with them and mastered them, it was not easy , and if the task was not finished i returned to that place fully aware that ive been there allready, also i had many trips in my dreams.
The one time things got verry interesting ,my awereness expanded , and i was the peace of wood that i was looking on my dreambed , its not really explainable , afterwards i got that feeling awake to , with a wall in the street of the neighborhood , i just expanded for that night, i would describe the awerness liek a flashlight , when your fully aware youl shine verry verry far , your look just pinches trhough room , when your not your like a candle , just enlightening your surroundings.
I dont want to overload this but it is important to know how it relates.
so my spiritual journey went on and on , i turned from vegetarian to Vegan , ive met with new people , like me , and i noticed the shift long ago allready , but now its like a massawakening , and those people ghet connected more and more , its juts awesome.
so , my thirst wasnt gone of course , i red Freud , Aldous huxley , and started to watch Terence McKennas Auditions , it was amazing , and he talked about Shamanisn and ayahuasca , and so i researched , ive never smoked Mjay nor drunk Alc never done anything because i didnt realy saw the sense in it , i wanted to do salvia , but the time wasnt right i guess.
So when i read sbout ayahuasca , the urge and the feeling , it was just right , so i bought it , prepared it with my friend , i thought he might need it verry much , to cure himself.
so i took 100g of Banisteropsis Caapi , Ourinho i think ,and 30G of Mimosa hostilis (Jurema
heated them , we made 3 washes 3hrs , so 10hrs of work maybe , we used destiled water and winegar too.
so , i think we might have taken it more seriously , the whole preparation , because it has effect on how the trip is ging to be , maybe because of water has a memory ? i dont know yet but it reflected in a tiny part of the trip.
So the preparaion was done ,i was , verry verry excited and we coudnt still believe that we just made ayahuasca haha , so we slept , i dreamed about the trip , and when i woke up i realized that it might ghet verry intense , but i was like prepared the last 3 months and i felt that my spiritual maturity may be enough.
So we Destilated the Liquids , filled em up in too botles , and then weve gone to buy some fruits , i was really hungry , have berely eaten that night before .
I asked my freind on hos gonna sit us the night , he just ansered a good mate of mine , a 43 year old woman , shes ok .
I thought well , maybe its the best thing that could hapen , Mature , expirienced etc...
but as i saw in the trip that was not the case XD .
we arrived , slightly nervous , set down , calmed a bit , put some meditation music of all kinds , it was a meditation set , and in the midle of the set , some guy said : This is CD nr2 of the Album blablabl hahahah xD it was terifing .
The Trip:
Seting : Home of the freind of a freind
State of mind : Willing to do it , not afraid but bit nervous.
Persons with us : My friend , the Woman , and her daughter...
Age : 18 (before 5 weeks)
ok , so , cheers ! we drank the Caapi , it wasnt a delight to drink it , but i drunk worse , so it didnt took that long to drink it , maybe 10-15min , i just had a bit fear of vomiting so i drank it slowly , but nausea wasnt the case. we waited 15 min before we drank the Mimosa , the DMT , haha i had a full glass of mimosa , but , i drank about dont know may be about 1 fifth , and it tasted , not thaaaat bad how they describe it , but what it makes dificult to drink , its dry and your mouth just feels shrunked and furry xD , and something was hapening , i dublechecked , no it was not placebo , i smiled and i was floating with the music , i started to hear the mental state in theire breaths , and my hands where soo light and i knew i was going out of my body, but i also was going in .
my freind drank about the half glass , i saw it ,and i told him that hes not yet ready haha.
So the Sound , started to differ , and i tested if its the sound or just theyre breaths , i sniped , snap! no , its the same , i knew it was the right time to lean just back , and i said take me away , aaaand , gone was i...
i Closed my eyes and it tried to connect me , the whole place was moving , that was the moment im leaving , i didnt flip , but the feeling fas somehow familiar , when i opened my eys for a moment i saw my Chakras opening up , the nerves of my finger came out like antenas , and there was this sound sssszzZZZZ sooo STROng , and ZAP, like conecting to FAT wires , and each time they tried to connect me and something blocked i threw up , the neongreenmass , the nervosity , the bad energy that was going on around me the electrosmog my negative emotions , zzzZAP! i vomited about 6 times.... then i puled my hood on , with the last motorik that was left because the place was verry enlightend , but the lights where dimed , darkness is the best.
then time colapsed ,the timeconstruct ,iveherd them talking about me
whats hapning with him ? is he allright , i mean )then it looped , it was said but its meant to be said in the future but its allready there , but its not , it just colapsed, then i left the place , i was floating through 7 dimensiongates ,its verry hard to describe its like electricdoors but doors within doors and as you go through they are pictures its like the forth dimension ? and then you float and float and its beyond the capacity of verbalisation , so then came a tunnel , a gateway to the world , the tunnel was made of lots of flowers of life , in different collours , it was not a scary floating , i floated gently through and when i was there , i was in the stomach of mother earth , waiting to be reborn , i was just light , with othr light , it was heaven , so warm and gentle , and i was breathing , a Cosmic breath , i breathed in and expanded , it was so deep , so timeless , beatifull , and it showed me fraktals each interval , the breath in , and out , 2 different cycles i understood , it was like the cycle of the universe , the rebirth and death with each breath i took , verry hard to describe, and i saw the connectedness and the perfectness , the breath in sshhhhh and i made a ploplike noise with my mouth and it reacted like if you trhrow a stone in the lake and then admire all the waves like a child , it was verry powerfull , i learned a breathing tecnique , (i know it now to and i tried it once , the breathing tecnique brings you the equilibrium ).
So things changed , i saw a entity , i got a bit scared i knew it was watching me , it was flying in a wavestyle motion , like smoke , but dark and lilla , and i got away from that light , and i started to breath but it didnt work , and the spirit that i was facing was Zyniclike and he almost told me like , it snt everything good let me show you the dark side , (in the meanwhile the music changed some kind of asiatic music, wow it just guided me there , the set was just perfect , even it had his hard moments ) (the daughter clicked the mouse in the room i was laying and it was terrible XD!) Roaches insectlike things not too little and snakes came out and they bit me in the clickingmotion of the clicking the daughter was causing , it was the madnes i was seeying when iwas little , the chaos and the media i tried to escape in , i saw me pupeteered , i saw my ego , i daw all my conflicts and komplexes and i saw what i am i saw my whole life .
the trip became a whole new lvl , so intense so quick , i mean the best language and the mnost effective , it was like Speedmethaphors , emerging paterns , and i understood the fully it was like my whole storry in a blink of an eye , but i got it . i saw my pain , burried benath the corners of my soul , the all got released , i confronted everything.
the entiiti was boss there , i said that i understood , i was like horrified and sad , and i repeated i understand , i will go to the light , then i prayed , but the entity wouldn let me , and showed me more , i was in a Neoncity and i saw a indian godes light blue with 4/6 arms for a moment , i saw Purple rivers , i saw a evil source feeding mankind , and the city was sining in this source , the source was like Greed , Lust etc , it was bittersweet poison , i prayed for mankind , i forgave my self i forgace them , i prayed , it was helllike , created by theman sins , it was really horble , but the message was clear .
I started breathing again , deep , but then the breathing out was like a HuH ! i dont want you , i dont need this , HUH ! i departed all the bad things and the pain that was inside me , the confusion anger , everything the sadness , i saw my psychological schemes , i saw my ego like every little bits of it with his facetes , i understood fully and i understood why it was like that , i asked why , so it showed me , istarted crying ,i was now connected to the universalconsciousness , somebody pulled me gently out of this , it was like a mother caring for his child , and i just cried in her arms , why ??!! why ...
i saw the world and its beauty , i saw how beautifull all was , and then i saw mankind rotting in it , been manipulated and destroying it , i cried , i cired for them and it caused me so much pain , but i was like in the hands of a mother i was huged and brought back slowly , i opened my eys for a short moment and i decided to just stay in this feeling and just to think , and what really matters is love , we need love , and we need to say goodbye to all our grief and to those things that might stop us , it was all so ill , i cried ...
so , i returned , i didnt felt dizzy , but it costed me a lot of energy as i saw me in the mirror , but it didnt matter , i told the whole storry to the women , i told her , i saw her pain and her aura , she just needs love , i huged her , she didnt understand most of it , but i got good hopes , and i told her that she care verry good for her daughter .
I felt cracked , so i was there , sitting in the train , cracked , it felt verry artificial , the people , even the train and the wholeness , but with awereness comes great respnsibility and training to master it .
so i was heading to a woman , a freind of mine , i just realized how important god is , i knew it before , but now i KNOW . the Power of the word , also , i discovered it one year ago i cant rememver exactly but i saw how ,uch power the word has , so i decided to go to a freind of mine , a Christ and exspiritual and we prayed together , she prayed for me and that helped me alot , to ghet rid of the negative energy , it was like the last cleansing , i felt much much stronger afterwards , before i was lostlike.
so , she gave me the bible and from then on i started to read the bible , crazy haha .
I noticed that my third eye still was verry active , my last 2 chakras where verry open the next days , i dacided to go out 2 days after , and i saw and sensed all the people passing me by , like a river of emotions energy , it swiped me almost away . it took a week to recalibrate , or to learn how to live properly ? again...
I also sensed a peace , connectedness, even stronger then before ,ive let go all the pain , everything. but i was , changed forever , until now , im figuring out whats hapening ,im living in a different way , im observing things childlike ,i sense people , that was before to but its verry strong now , and much more is going on now.
4 days after i decided to meditate , and i used the learned tecnique from my trip , and it made me verry lucky and equilibrated , my freinds saw it in my face , not a mile but a satisfied meme , almost like white glowing.
Afterwards after some time passed ive tried to reexpirience old events with the new me on purpose , like , going in a Club or listening to my favorite music etc , i must say , The music , Sounds much clearer now , my mind is jut clear i can tell for sure where the music is comming from , my senses are sharper , much sharper. i saw different and more effetcive ways on how to do things , im more calmed, but what i did not , was dancing , i started dancing almost one year ago when my mum died , it helped me alot , started with funk , the getink in to tutting and the robot etc , as i recognized my lostness in the electronic madnes resulting in the dance being pupeteered , just that as an expresion scared me a bit , i didnt want to personify it again...
but im dancing normaly today .
every time i tell people my storry , i spot something new , and new meanings emerge .
but i think the puzzle is complete so far , and i hope i havent forgot something ...
sooo , i hope you didnt ghet bore cause of the OP intro hahaha , and im sorry that the bottleneck and verbalisation limits me ._. , but im happy with the results =^_^=
I am till now and will evr be a psychonaut .
Greets and positivity : Stefan ^^
My english isnt that good but i hope you can follow my text and intensions well...
My Journey started a long time ago , my psychonautism started when i was 11 , i had my first mindexpandings (without substances) i dreamed lucid ,i visited new ground ,it was an alienification of the ilusion not reality , what hapened is i got more conscious , its like yoir in your house knowing that you have a cellar and attic too,unable to handle it or i dodnt know what to do or what it was because my surroundings made me belive i might gone crazy haha. , wich scared me in the beginning , then with the age and expirience i got further and further...
and so on , before 4 months a new era started , my thirst for wisdom and answers has grown realy big , and i become more and more conscious , i experimented a lot , with dreams , with boundarydisolution , with reality , and the universe responded to me on each question , it was like a download of the arcaik medium , i saw it hapen life , it was great.
I also dreamed a lot , @ the beginning i had a dream , i was escaping the Platonic Cave , but the setting was more modern , it was a church , the fire was my Theaterteacher , there was a projector , and the people , watching these shadows , in some kind of movie , believing that this might be the true truth...
I turned away , and i saw some tecnicians , the croud molested me , so i decided to recreat the whole thing , but just before the croud arived , so the room was empty , just my teacher sitting there , the back wall of the church was allready crumbling , and she asked me to ghet her some kinda vegetables , so the back wall , was now a big hole , and i breaked through the other side , out , and it was like a massive wave , like a world refresh, it was all real , the lucidity was now so strong , i saw a pedestrian , a indian one , i grabed him in my overwhelming euphoria, extasy and told, yeled at him that im dreaming ...
and then , it was tike to wake up , a light soaked me from above , it was like in Waking Life , i tried to grab the churchwall but i sliped and as i screamed no (iwas realy screaming) i woke up , and from then on thing started to be different.
if you ghet deeper in the symbology , you might see that from then i was like freed.
i breaked just to the other side haha , i started even more lucid dreaming , and my journeys where intense , and each time ive grown with them and mastered them, it was not easy , and if the task was not finished i returned to that place fully aware that ive been there allready, also i had many trips in my dreams.
The one time things got verry interesting ,my awereness expanded , and i was the peace of wood that i was looking on my dreambed , its not really explainable , afterwards i got that feeling awake to , with a wall in the street of the neighborhood , i just expanded for that night, i would describe the awerness liek a flashlight , when your fully aware youl shine verry verry far , your look just pinches trhough room , when your not your like a candle , just enlightening your surroundings.
I dont want to overload this but it is important to know how it relates.
so my spiritual journey went on and on , i turned from vegetarian to Vegan , ive met with new people , like me , and i noticed the shift long ago allready , but now its like a massawakening , and those people ghet connected more and more , its juts awesome.
so , my thirst wasnt gone of course , i red Freud , Aldous huxley , and started to watch Terence McKennas Auditions , it was amazing , and he talked about Shamanisn and ayahuasca , and so i researched , ive never smoked Mjay nor drunk Alc never done anything because i didnt realy saw the sense in it , i wanted to do salvia , but the time wasnt right i guess.
So when i read sbout ayahuasca , the urge and the feeling , it was just right , so i bought it , prepared it with my friend , i thought he might need it verry much , to cure himself.
so i took 100g of Banisteropsis Caapi , Ourinho i think ,and 30G of Mimosa hostilis (Jurema
heated them , we made 3 washes 3hrs , so 10hrs of work maybe , we used destiled water and winegar too.
so , i think we might have taken it more seriously , the whole preparation , because it has effect on how the trip is ging to be , maybe because of water has a memory ? i dont know yet but it reflected in a tiny part of the trip.
So the preparaion was done ,i was , verry verry excited and we coudnt still believe that we just made ayahuasca haha , so we slept , i dreamed about the trip , and when i woke up i realized that it might ghet verry intense , but i was like prepared the last 3 months and i felt that my spiritual maturity may be enough.
So we Destilated the Liquids , filled em up in too botles , and then weve gone to buy some fruits , i was really hungry , have berely eaten that night before .
I asked my freind on hos gonna sit us the night , he just ansered a good mate of mine , a 43 year old woman , shes ok .
I thought well , maybe its the best thing that could hapen , Mature , expirienced etc...
but as i saw in the trip that was not the case XD .
we arrived , slightly nervous , set down , calmed a bit , put some meditation music of all kinds , it was a meditation set , and in the midle of the set , some guy said : This is CD nr2 of the Album blablabl hahahah xD it was terifing .
The Trip:
Seting : Home of the freind of a freind
State of mind : Willing to do it , not afraid but bit nervous.
Persons with us : My friend , the Woman , and her daughter...
Age : 18 (before 5 weeks)
ok , so , cheers ! we drank the Caapi , it wasnt a delight to drink it , but i drunk worse , so it didnt took that long to drink it , maybe 10-15min , i just had a bit fear of vomiting so i drank it slowly , but nausea wasnt the case. we waited 15 min before we drank the Mimosa , the DMT , haha i had a full glass of mimosa , but , i drank about dont know may be about 1 fifth , and it tasted , not thaaaat bad how they describe it , but what it makes dificult to drink , its dry and your mouth just feels shrunked and furry xD , and something was hapening , i dublechecked , no it was not placebo , i smiled and i was floating with the music , i started to hear the mental state in theire breaths , and my hands where soo light and i knew i was going out of my body, but i also was going in .
my freind drank about the half glass , i saw it ,and i told him that hes not yet ready haha.
So the Sound , started to differ , and i tested if its the sound or just theyre breaths , i sniped , snap! no , its the same , i knew it was the right time to lean just back , and i said take me away , aaaand , gone was i...
i Closed my eyes and it tried to connect me , the whole place was moving , that was the moment im leaving , i didnt flip , but the feeling fas somehow familiar , when i opened my eys for a moment i saw my Chakras opening up , the nerves of my finger came out like antenas , and there was this sound sssszzZZZZ sooo STROng , and ZAP, like conecting to FAT wires , and each time they tried to connect me and something blocked i threw up , the neongreenmass , the nervosity , the bad energy that was going on around me the electrosmog my negative emotions , zzzZAP! i vomited about 6 times.... then i puled my hood on , with the last motorik that was left because the place was verry enlightend , but the lights where dimed , darkness is the best.
then time colapsed ,the timeconstruct ,iveherd them talking about me
whats hapning with him ? is he allright , i mean )then it looped , it was said but its meant to be said in the future but its allready there , but its not , it just colapsed, then i left the place , i was floating through 7 dimensiongates ,its verry hard to describe its like electricdoors but doors within doors and as you go through they are pictures its like the forth dimension ? and then you float and float and its beyond the capacity of verbalisation , so then came a tunnel , a gateway to the world , the tunnel was made of lots of flowers of life , in different collours , it was not a scary floating , i floated gently through and when i was there , i was in the stomach of mother earth , waiting to be reborn , i was just light , with othr light , it was heaven , so warm and gentle , and i was breathing , a Cosmic breath , i breathed in and expanded , it was so deep , so timeless , beatifull , and it showed me fraktals each interval , the breath in , and out , 2 different cycles i understood , it was like the cycle of the universe , the rebirth and death with each breath i took , verry hard to describe, and i saw the connectedness and the perfectness , the breath in sshhhhh and i made a ploplike noise with my mouth and it reacted like if you trhrow a stone in the lake and then admire all the waves like a child , it was verry powerfull , i learned a breathing tecnique , (i know it now to and i tried it once , the breathing tecnique brings you the equilibrium ).So things changed , i saw a entity , i got a bit scared i knew it was watching me , it was flying in a wavestyle motion , like smoke , but dark and lilla , and i got away from that light , and i started to breath but it didnt work , and the spirit that i was facing was Zyniclike and he almost told me like , it snt everything good let me show you the dark side , (in the meanwhile the music changed some kind of asiatic music, wow it just guided me there , the set was just perfect , even it had his hard moments ) (the daughter clicked the mouse in the room i was laying and it was terrible XD!) Roaches insectlike things not too little and snakes came out and they bit me in the clickingmotion of the clicking the daughter was causing , it was the madnes i was seeying when iwas little , the chaos and the media i tried to escape in , i saw me pupeteered , i saw my ego , i daw all my conflicts and komplexes and i saw what i am i saw my whole life .
the trip became a whole new lvl , so intense so quick , i mean the best language and the mnost effective , it was like Speedmethaphors , emerging paterns , and i understood the fully it was like my whole storry in a blink of an eye , but i got it . i saw my pain , burried benath the corners of my soul , the all got released , i confronted everything.
the entiiti was boss there , i said that i understood , i was like horrified and sad , and i repeated i understand , i will go to the light , then i prayed , but the entity wouldn let me , and showed me more , i was in a Neoncity and i saw a indian godes light blue with 4/6 arms for a moment , i saw Purple rivers , i saw a evil source feeding mankind , and the city was sining in this source , the source was like Greed , Lust etc , it was bittersweet poison , i prayed for mankind , i forgave my self i forgace them , i prayed , it was helllike , created by theman sins , it was really horble , but the message was clear .
I started breathing again , deep , but then the breathing out was like a HuH ! i dont want you , i dont need this , HUH ! i departed all the bad things and the pain that was inside me , the confusion anger , everything the sadness , i saw my psychological schemes , i saw my ego like every little bits of it with his facetes , i understood fully and i understood why it was like that , i asked why , so it showed me , istarted crying ,i was now connected to the universalconsciousness , somebody pulled me gently out of this , it was like a mother caring for his child , and i just cried in her arms , why ??!! why ...
i saw the world and its beauty , i saw how beautifull all was , and then i saw mankind rotting in it , been manipulated and destroying it , i cried , i cired for them and it caused me so much pain , but i was like in the hands of a mother i was huged and brought back slowly , i opened my eys for a short moment and i decided to just stay in this feeling and just to think , and what really matters is love , we need love , and we need to say goodbye to all our grief and to those things that might stop us , it was all so ill , i cried ...
so , i returned , i didnt felt dizzy , but it costed me a lot of energy as i saw me in the mirror , but it didnt matter , i told the whole storry to the women , i told her , i saw her pain and her aura , she just needs love , i huged her , she didnt understand most of it , but i got good hopes , and i told her that she care verry good for her daughter .
I felt cracked , so i was there , sitting in the train , cracked , it felt verry artificial , the people , even the train and the wholeness , but with awereness comes great respnsibility and training to master it .
so i was heading to a woman , a freind of mine , i just realized how important god is , i knew it before , but now i KNOW . the Power of the word , also , i discovered it one year ago i cant rememver exactly but i saw how ,uch power the word has , so i decided to go to a freind of mine , a Christ and exspiritual and we prayed together , she prayed for me and that helped me alot , to ghet rid of the negative energy , it was like the last cleansing , i felt much much stronger afterwards , before i was lostlike.
so , she gave me the bible and from then on i started to read the bible , crazy haha .
I noticed that my third eye still was verry active , my last 2 chakras where verry open the next days , i dacided to go out 2 days after , and i saw and sensed all the people passing me by , like a river of emotions energy , it swiped me almost away . it took a week to recalibrate , or to learn how to live properly ? again...
I also sensed a peace , connectedness, even stronger then before ,ive let go all the pain , everything. but i was , changed forever , until now , im figuring out whats hapening ,im living in a different way , im observing things childlike ,i sense people , that was before to but its verry strong now , and much more is going on now.
4 days after i decided to meditate , and i used the learned tecnique from my trip , and it made me verry lucky and equilibrated , my freinds saw it in my face , not a mile but a satisfied meme , almost like white glowing.
Afterwards after some time passed ive tried to reexpirience old events with the new me on purpose , like , going in a Club or listening to my favorite music etc , i must say , The music , Sounds much clearer now , my mind is jut clear i can tell for sure where the music is comming from , my senses are sharper , much sharper. i saw different and more effetcive ways on how to do things , im more calmed, but what i did not , was dancing , i started dancing almost one year ago when my mum died , it helped me alot , started with funk , the getink in to tutting and the robot etc , as i recognized my lostness in the electronic madnes resulting in the dance being pupeteered , just that as an expresion scared me a bit , i didnt want to personify it again...
but im dancing normaly today .
every time i tell people my storry , i spot something new , and new meanings emerge .
but i think the puzzle is complete so far , and i hope i havent forgot something ...
sooo , i hope you didnt ghet bore cause of the OP intro hahaha , and im sorry that the bottleneck and verbalisation limits me ._. , but im happy with the results =^_^=
I am till now and will evr be a psychonaut .
Greets and positivity : Stefan ^^
