pill pill zintli
Rising Star
when i was 19 i had my first experiences whit aya. i ordered some tepescohuitl (desmanthus illinoiensis) and some rue. and one day i was alone in my appartment, so i decided after reading jim dekornes "psychedelic neo-shamanism", let's try it.
i cooked the rue (don't remember the amount) and the desmantus separatly, if i remember correctly some 25g, cause i wanted to check the waters. Then i first drank the rue and a half hour later the light. i didn't know what to expect, so i was sitting and waiting for the effects to kick in. as time passed an easy feeling manifestated itself, really enjoyable but unfortunately there weren't no visuals or vision, just a feeling of calmness and peace the whole night long.
the next day i decided to try it again, because i was interested in a vision, which could guide me in my life, and to be sure that this happens, i made a thea with the remaining desmanthus plus the leftover from the previous session. (maybe 100g)
so there was evening, i was ready to launch, when suddenly some friends of mine, which don't do psychedelics came by. i decided to drink inspite the unexpected visitors, so i made a comfortable place in my second room to have a quite place.
first i watched the pre-twilight sky and noticed a slight color shift to a wonderful blueish-bright hue (now im calling this the "dmt-blue"). then after the night set in, i was watching the opposite wall of my room, where some outside streetlight casted shadows. my eyes were relaxing and suddenly i saw a crude geometric silhoutte of a face. then i knew, now it begins to work, and in this moment, a flash kicked in my brain and the whole sight "pixelated" for a few moments, and then fell down. normal sight with an enormous feeling of blue energy in my body. i laid down on my mat, put my headphones on with some cool old-school psytrance and closed my eyes. - wonderful mandala like visuals, indian-garden-style-flamingo patterns in an astonishing creativity, speed and glory,(i don't remember everything), showed up.then for a moment i was set back to my first goa-party and simultaneous i somehow had the feeling being glued to the wall, very strange.
(-this part i don't remember fully chronologygally)
after a while, because the the speed and intensity of the patterns increased with the sound, i put the headphones off. i had a bad feeling in my stomach too, so i decided to go to the toilet. but no puke yet.
i laid down again in silence. then came the mexican-aztek-style patterns and i had the feeling of being lost in this wonderful but at the same time terrifying state. my mind was circling around dying, there was also this giant black hand from above (hand of "god"?), which presented an incredibly astonishing power of manifestation and/or destruction. i realised there are forces out there, with incredible energy and i'm just a little ant in the infinite state of possibilities. i was in need of a guidance, some who knows this state, this got me stressed and the urge to puke increased so i went to the bathroom a second time. i puked succesfully with vision of stilisized snakes and circus-animals in my mind.
my friends, which where in the living room noticed im puking and asked if im ok. i said to them call me a friend with psychedelic experience and a doctor to calm me down. so i was lying next to te loo for a subjectively infinite time with thought of death, while they searched the phonenumbers of said persons.
for me death was inevitable and somehow awkward to die before my friends, which was very stressing me.
while waiting for help a friend tried to divert and occupie me. i just thought, occupie me from such a state, wtf, ridiculous.
then my experienced friend came, and i went into the living room on the sofa. he laid some chill music in the cd player and we began talking. i immediatly felt better. then came the doctor which controlled my eyes and was angry, cause i was the not the first intoxicated on his free day. then he left.
i closed my eyes and the words came just out of me like a waterfall, i talked about love and things i don't remember anymore. and this blue energy where there all the time. the trip had a positive change in nature. and one or two hours later i was almost down. when my friends left i decided to go sleeping and the whole night i made reflections about the evening with a good feeling. after sleeping, the next day i felt like newborn.
so i don't remember everything what was going on. but in conclusion i must say that the setting with the unexperienced friends was not the best idea. but i didn't expect before such complicated thoughts were going to happen. but now i know.
greets
i cooked the rue (don't remember the amount) and the desmantus separatly, if i remember correctly some 25g, cause i wanted to check the waters. Then i first drank the rue and a half hour later the light. i didn't know what to expect, so i was sitting and waiting for the effects to kick in. as time passed an easy feeling manifestated itself, really enjoyable but unfortunately there weren't no visuals or vision, just a feeling of calmness and peace the whole night long.
the next day i decided to try it again, because i was interested in a vision, which could guide me in my life, and to be sure that this happens, i made a thea with the remaining desmanthus plus the leftover from the previous session. (maybe 100g)
so there was evening, i was ready to launch, when suddenly some friends of mine, which don't do psychedelics came by. i decided to drink inspite the unexpected visitors, so i made a comfortable place in my second room to have a quite place.
first i watched the pre-twilight sky and noticed a slight color shift to a wonderful blueish-bright hue (now im calling this the "dmt-blue"). then after the night set in, i was watching the opposite wall of my room, where some outside streetlight casted shadows. my eyes were relaxing and suddenly i saw a crude geometric silhoutte of a face. then i knew, now it begins to work, and in this moment, a flash kicked in my brain and the whole sight "pixelated" for a few moments, and then fell down. normal sight with an enormous feeling of blue energy in my body. i laid down on my mat, put my headphones on with some cool old-school psytrance and closed my eyes. - wonderful mandala like visuals, indian-garden-style-flamingo patterns in an astonishing creativity, speed and glory,(i don't remember everything), showed up.then for a moment i was set back to my first goa-party and simultaneous i somehow had the feeling being glued to the wall, very strange.
(-this part i don't remember fully chronologygally)
after a while, because the the speed and intensity of the patterns increased with the sound, i put the headphones off. i had a bad feeling in my stomach too, so i decided to go to the toilet. but no puke yet.
i laid down again in silence. then came the mexican-aztek-style patterns and i had the feeling of being lost in this wonderful but at the same time terrifying state. my mind was circling around dying, there was also this giant black hand from above (hand of "god"?), which presented an incredibly astonishing power of manifestation and/or destruction. i realised there are forces out there, with incredible energy and i'm just a little ant in the infinite state of possibilities. i was in need of a guidance, some who knows this state, this got me stressed and the urge to puke increased so i went to the bathroom a second time. i puked succesfully with vision of stilisized snakes and circus-animals in my mind.
my friends, which where in the living room noticed im puking and asked if im ok. i said to them call me a friend with psychedelic experience and a doctor to calm me down. so i was lying next to te loo for a subjectively infinite time with thought of death, while they searched the phonenumbers of said persons.
for me death was inevitable and somehow awkward to die before my friends, which was very stressing me.
while waiting for help a friend tried to divert and occupie me. i just thought, occupie me from such a state, wtf, ridiculous.
then my experienced friend came, and i went into the living room on the sofa. he laid some chill music in the cd player and we began talking. i immediatly felt better. then came the doctor which controlled my eyes and was angry, cause i was the not the first intoxicated on his free day. then he left.
i closed my eyes and the words came just out of me like a waterfall, i talked about love and things i don't remember anymore. and this blue energy where there all the time. the trip had a positive change in nature. and one or two hours later i was almost down. when my friends left i decided to go sleeping and the whole night i made reflections about the evening with a good feeling. after sleeping, the next day i felt like newborn.
so i don't remember everything what was going on. but in conclusion i must say that the setting with the unexperienced friends was not the best idea. but i didn't expect before such complicated thoughts were going to happen. but now i know.
greets