childofthetao
Calvin
Here I will relay what happened (which isn't much) through me and my brothers first pharma trip, then I will talk about my second one that I had ten days later.
15:40 Me and my brother take roughly 1.2g of ginger powder in caps (two each).
15:50 We each take approx. 350g of dark brown unclean rue extract in one cap.
16:22 We each take 110mg of unclean yellow spice.
One hour later we feel it begin, I got very relaxed and headed for my bed, I didn't enjoy the feeling at all.
I was laid there for at the very least one hour, I don't really know how long it was but I just wanted it to end. If I turned over my stomach got a little upset, but it settled if I stayed still.
Visually I saw nothing at all, but I was aware of the empty space in front of my face (normally I'm not aware of it) and it seemed like I could perceive depth (normally I can't). I did get the impression that my head/eye muscles relaxed allowing my awareness to be freed from my head and so I could become more aware of what was around me, instead of it being blocked in my head.
After getting up and walking around I see everything looked a little longer (upwards/downwards) than normal. I intuitively felt this was because my eyes had relaxed and released decades of squinting tension in my eyes (I'm very short sighted).
Apart from cycles of confusion and clarity there really wasn't much to enjoy here although the last 30mins or so was nice. It felt like I had a little ecstasy mixed with being drunk.
My brother weighs like twice as much as me (somewhat) and as we had the same amount it doesn't make sense that he had an absolutely amazing experience. He was occupying three different places at once, holding conversations with entities and thoroughly loving the experience.
He asked someone "So, what is it all about then?" And the reply was "You are a human experience". He got more, but can't really convey it.
I hated it and said I would never do it again, but I got some insight about my own condition. The discomfort was blocked energy that needed to be released and it is released simply by feeling it. All this crap I felt I was carrying with me for a long time (as my own tactile perception of my body or lack thereof).
This to me is a good thing and it made me want to try again another day even if it meant feeling nothing but discomfort, it is something that should be felt to be cleared.
It ties in with a book I'm reading (and re-reading and re-reading) called The Presence Process. In it the author says that throughout our lives we suppress lots of emotional energy in out emotional body (basically what we use to feel emotions).
He teaches consciously connected breathing in order to bring these suppressed negative states to the surface to be released. When this happens all you do is feel it unconditionally (ie. for no reason other than to just feel it). This is what clears the energy, simply bringing it to the surface and feeling it.
Overall I did feel a benefit to my ability to focus after the trip. But the trip itself was an unpleasant experience.
Ten days later I have the exact same amount (alone this time) but taken slightly differently.
13:44 I take one ginger powder caps, approx .6g
14:02 I take another .6g ginger powder cap plus my rue extract which was .36g (slightly more than last time).
14:16 I take my first DMT cap containing 55mg of spice plus the rest of the cap was filled with ginger powder.
14:34 I take the next DMT cap which is identical to the previous one.
This trip was not like the previous one. I felt a little bit drunk and relaxed, nothing more. The last trip made my irises as wide as they could go, this one was practically uneventful even though I had the same amount.
I didn't get that feeling that made me want to go to bed (maybe I should have?) I just remember my brother said he felt uncomfortable at first too but he went to bed and fell asleep, when he awoke his trip was in full swing.
Does anyone know why mine and my brothers experience are so different despite us having the same amount and also despite him weigh more than me?
Also why was me second trip ten days later so different? Maybe I cleared/felt all the negative energy I had stored up? But then why was there not much to experience?
15:40 Me and my brother take roughly 1.2g of ginger powder in caps (two each).
15:50 We each take approx. 350g of dark brown unclean rue extract in one cap.
16:22 We each take 110mg of unclean yellow spice.
One hour later we feel it begin, I got very relaxed and headed for my bed, I didn't enjoy the feeling at all.
I was laid there for at the very least one hour, I don't really know how long it was but I just wanted it to end. If I turned over my stomach got a little upset, but it settled if I stayed still.
Visually I saw nothing at all, but I was aware of the empty space in front of my face (normally I'm not aware of it) and it seemed like I could perceive depth (normally I can't). I did get the impression that my head/eye muscles relaxed allowing my awareness to be freed from my head and so I could become more aware of what was around me, instead of it being blocked in my head.
After getting up and walking around I see everything looked a little longer (upwards/downwards) than normal. I intuitively felt this was because my eyes had relaxed and released decades of squinting tension in my eyes (I'm very short sighted).
Apart from cycles of confusion and clarity there really wasn't much to enjoy here although the last 30mins or so was nice. It felt like I had a little ecstasy mixed with being drunk.
My brother weighs like twice as much as me (somewhat) and as we had the same amount it doesn't make sense that he had an absolutely amazing experience. He was occupying three different places at once, holding conversations with entities and thoroughly loving the experience.
He asked someone "So, what is it all about then?" And the reply was "You are a human experience". He got more, but can't really convey it.
I hated it and said I would never do it again, but I got some insight about my own condition. The discomfort was blocked energy that needed to be released and it is released simply by feeling it. All this crap I felt I was carrying with me for a long time (as my own tactile perception of my body or lack thereof).
This to me is a good thing and it made me want to try again another day even if it meant feeling nothing but discomfort, it is something that should be felt to be cleared.
It ties in with a book I'm reading (and re-reading and re-reading) called The Presence Process. In it the author says that throughout our lives we suppress lots of emotional energy in out emotional body (basically what we use to feel emotions).
He teaches consciously connected breathing in order to bring these suppressed negative states to the surface to be released. When this happens all you do is feel it unconditionally (ie. for no reason other than to just feel it). This is what clears the energy, simply bringing it to the surface and feeling it.
Overall I did feel a benefit to my ability to focus after the trip. But the trip itself was an unpleasant experience.
Ten days later I have the exact same amount (alone this time) but taken slightly differently.
13:44 I take one ginger powder caps, approx .6g
14:02 I take another .6g ginger powder cap plus my rue extract which was .36g (slightly more than last time).
14:16 I take my first DMT cap containing 55mg of spice plus the rest of the cap was filled with ginger powder.
14:34 I take the next DMT cap which is identical to the previous one.
This trip was not like the previous one. I felt a little bit drunk and relaxed, nothing more. The last trip made my irises as wide as they could go, this one was practically uneventful even though I had the same amount.
I didn't get that feeling that made me want to go to bed (maybe I should have?) I just remember my brother said he felt uncomfortable at first too but he went to bed and fell asleep, when he awoke his trip was in full swing.
Does anyone know why mine and my brothers experience are so different despite us having the same amount and also despite him weigh more than me?
Also why was me second trip ten days later so different? Maybe I cleared/felt all the negative energy I had stored up? But then why was there not much to experience?