MachineElf88
Rising Star
More thoughts from my friend about his experience:
The profoundness of the trip has prompted me to write a second description. This time less functional without vision or sound and more thoughtful. I'll describe the background to my trip to give it context, thus giving my opinion context.
My very trusted friend of 30 years and flat mate had been trying to get me to do it for about 8 months. I knew I wanted to do it but just wanted to do it at the right time. Or at least had this idea of the "right time" to do it. I was going through a lot of personal change and fulfilling of ambition and wanted to do it as a treat after this work was perceived as complete. That was my mindset. I had said to my mate I was about 2 or 3 weeks away from taking the plunge. But the trip came early.
I went out one night on a business dinner. I was in full work / ego mode and had been at work from 8am that morning. Then at 6pm I had gone for dinner and drinks at a club and got home at 5am the following morning. My flat mate who works nights was awake and in my drunk whirlwind I demanded he give me some spice.
After some fairly heavy pressure from me he agreed. He got out a good set of headphones and put them on me. I laid down and he played me some Chakra music. Then he handed me the pipe and told me to smoke as he applied the flame. What happened next took me by surprise so much that months later I still think about it with excitement.
As mentioned earlier I'm an experienced drug taker. You name it I've done it. And am fairly uninspired and matter of fact about what recreational drugs can do to you. That's the first premise or benchmark or expectation on which I went into this with. Call it blasé scepticism. Or in hindsight it was simply that I had no frame of reference for what was to come.
I was valuing everything on a set if LSD and ecstasy experiences. The second premise was I went into it in work mode. I had been out with a chap whose job it is to wine and dine me so I give him business. I was in full ego, social status, business chat mode. Altered states were actually the farthest thing from my mind in terms of being a carefully considered requirement at that point. In fact I was actually looking for a buzz to enhance my drunkenness.
That was what I expected. This in a way, far from being a negative influence on the experience was actually such an extreme contrast to what was to come that it made it all the more awe inspiring. Rather than doing it with full anticipation and expectation and nerves, I did it in the spur of the moment. One moment I was an excitable drunk office worker, the next well.....
In hindsight maybe it’s the difference between someone telling you they are going to slap you so brace yourself and someone stepping out from a bush and wrapping a baseball bat round your head. I wasn't braced, I wasn't ready, and I didn't really even know what I was doing. So I casually put the pipe to my lips and suck and then inhale. I feel a pleasant but chemical taste hit my Tongue then throat then sleepily it hits my lungs. First relaxation, then 5 seconds or so later my vision goes to tunnel vision. At this point maybe I could liken the feeling to a heavy stoned feeling or coming up hard on acid. I can still see my friend for a second but then I feel like I'm saying goodbye to him then suddenly I realise this is a baseball bat from nowhere. I lose him to the colours and darkness and the extreme experience I described in part 1. I don't need to describe it again here I assume you get the picture.
Here's some things I want to express though. The feeling came on so strong that the only thought I remember having time for is "you have really done it this time. How are you going to get out of this one"? That's my favourite memory the start of the trip has to offer. It's the only thought I could actually muster. It's so funny to me now to think of that moment.
Imagine your first time really drunk as a young teenager when the room is spinning, you are clutching the toilet seat and you realise you've gone too far. Maybe you could call it the hunter becomes the hunted. The big cheese cut down to size. So profound was the contrast of one minute being a cocky ego maniac businessman and the next a beautiful drug flake in hyperspace that the confusion overwhelmed.
I really forgot what I had done in that instant before I left the room. It was stunning of magnitude. Here's the good news. That feeling only lasted a second. After that I knew not who I was anymore. So how could I worry? How could I worry when I didn’t exist anymore? This could be the beauty of it for me.
So often have my LSD trips been tainted by paranoia as my ego clings to itself and fights the altered state. This was however so powerful that the ego was gone in the breath of the smoke. The experience it created made the ego totally irrelevant. This was no contaminated half way house where ego and drug wrestle for control. This was an all out mind flush. The most beautiful thing was yet to come as my ego began to return. About 5 minutes in or so my friend says I began to smile.
I do remember smiling and making the decision to smile. This was the moment my ego came back a little. Enough to get a flicker of anxiety. At this point I was still tripping so hard that I couldn't wake up, open my eyes and move but my egoic thoughts returned a little. This was a pivotal moment. I had two choices. Freak out and go paranoid or totally surrender. I just laid there and let it take me and my face erupted with smiles. In that moment I understood I was faced with such force I could not fight. I could only join.
Like a hostage who grows to love it's captor it demanded my respect otherwise it would destroy me. So I gave myself. A minute later I realised the urge to open my eyes sit up and talk to my friend had returned. I opened my eyes to see the room was hazy with trailbacks and the curtains had gold flecks in that I had noticed before. (Those flecks remain.)What else have I realised that I hadn't before?)My friend said "well", expectantly. I waved him away. I couldn't speak. Like someone waking you up from a deep sleep I couldn’t speak at first. Then a shriek of joy and excitement. Then a hug for my friend. Then the rest of my life.
I need to clarify again I'm a corporate person with only the beginnings of any interest in anything spiritual. Call it a casual interest in stand up philosophy and a sceptical interest in the spiritual. Yet the very acceptance of something so monumental without question has made me a different person. DMT just is. You smoke it and it just happens. What is there to question? It's so defined by its power that you need not and cannot ask why or how. Maybe that's a metaphor for something even more amazing that we take for granted every day. Life itself. Just accept it as beautiful and crazy. You cannot question or criticise DMT because it happens inside you. It's part of you. That's the most inspiring thing. Something so different yet inside us all along. What else is inside is? Maybe life itself is inside? What does inside even mean? Maybe it's all inside and outside is just an illusion? Perhaps the most important question is what other channels can we switch to?
I believe I only experienced the chrysanthemum. The other side waits.
=
The profoundness of the trip has prompted me to write a second description. This time less functional without vision or sound and more thoughtful. I'll describe the background to my trip to give it context, thus giving my opinion context.
My very trusted friend of 30 years and flat mate had been trying to get me to do it for about 8 months. I knew I wanted to do it but just wanted to do it at the right time. Or at least had this idea of the "right time" to do it. I was going through a lot of personal change and fulfilling of ambition and wanted to do it as a treat after this work was perceived as complete. That was my mindset. I had said to my mate I was about 2 or 3 weeks away from taking the plunge. But the trip came early.
I went out one night on a business dinner. I was in full work / ego mode and had been at work from 8am that morning. Then at 6pm I had gone for dinner and drinks at a club and got home at 5am the following morning. My flat mate who works nights was awake and in my drunk whirlwind I demanded he give me some spice.
After some fairly heavy pressure from me he agreed. He got out a good set of headphones and put them on me. I laid down and he played me some Chakra music. Then he handed me the pipe and told me to smoke as he applied the flame. What happened next took me by surprise so much that months later I still think about it with excitement.
As mentioned earlier I'm an experienced drug taker. You name it I've done it. And am fairly uninspired and matter of fact about what recreational drugs can do to you. That's the first premise or benchmark or expectation on which I went into this with. Call it blasé scepticism. Or in hindsight it was simply that I had no frame of reference for what was to come.
I was valuing everything on a set if LSD and ecstasy experiences. The second premise was I went into it in work mode. I had been out with a chap whose job it is to wine and dine me so I give him business. I was in full ego, social status, business chat mode. Altered states were actually the farthest thing from my mind in terms of being a carefully considered requirement at that point. In fact I was actually looking for a buzz to enhance my drunkenness.
That was what I expected. This in a way, far from being a negative influence on the experience was actually such an extreme contrast to what was to come that it made it all the more awe inspiring. Rather than doing it with full anticipation and expectation and nerves, I did it in the spur of the moment. One moment I was an excitable drunk office worker, the next well.....
In hindsight maybe it’s the difference between someone telling you they are going to slap you so brace yourself and someone stepping out from a bush and wrapping a baseball bat round your head. I wasn't braced, I wasn't ready, and I didn't really even know what I was doing. So I casually put the pipe to my lips and suck and then inhale. I feel a pleasant but chemical taste hit my Tongue then throat then sleepily it hits my lungs. First relaxation, then 5 seconds or so later my vision goes to tunnel vision. At this point maybe I could liken the feeling to a heavy stoned feeling or coming up hard on acid. I can still see my friend for a second but then I feel like I'm saying goodbye to him then suddenly I realise this is a baseball bat from nowhere. I lose him to the colours and darkness and the extreme experience I described in part 1. I don't need to describe it again here I assume you get the picture.
Here's some things I want to express though. The feeling came on so strong that the only thought I remember having time for is "you have really done it this time. How are you going to get out of this one"? That's my favourite memory the start of the trip has to offer. It's the only thought I could actually muster. It's so funny to me now to think of that moment.
Imagine your first time really drunk as a young teenager when the room is spinning, you are clutching the toilet seat and you realise you've gone too far. Maybe you could call it the hunter becomes the hunted. The big cheese cut down to size. So profound was the contrast of one minute being a cocky ego maniac businessman and the next a beautiful drug flake in hyperspace that the confusion overwhelmed.
I really forgot what I had done in that instant before I left the room. It was stunning of magnitude. Here's the good news. That feeling only lasted a second. After that I knew not who I was anymore. So how could I worry? How could I worry when I didn’t exist anymore? This could be the beauty of it for me.
So often have my LSD trips been tainted by paranoia as my ego clings to itself and fights the altered state. This was however so powerful that the ego was gone in the breath of the smoke. The experience it created made the ego totally irrelevant. This was no contaminated half way house where ego and drug wrestle for control. This was an all out mind flush. The most beautiful thing was yet to come as my ego began to return. About 5 minutes in or so my friend says I began to smile.
I do remember smiling and making the decision to smile. This was the moment my ego came back a little. Enough to get a flicker of anxiety. At this point I was still tripping so hard that I couldn't wake up, open my eyes and move but my egoic thoughts returned a little. This was a pivotal moment. I had two choices. Freak out and go paranoid or totally surrender. I just laid there and let it take me and my face erupted with smiles. In that moment I understood I was faced with such force I could not fight. I could only join.
Like a hostage who grows to love it's captor it demanded my respect otherwise it would destroy me. So I gave myself. A minute later I realised the urge to open my eyes sit up and talk to my friend had returned. I opened my eyes to see the room was hazy with trailbacks and the curtains had gold flecks in that I had noticed before. (Those flecks remain.)What else have I realised that I hadn't before?)My friend said "well", expectantly. I waved him away. I couldn't speak. Like someone waking you up from a deep sleep I couldn’t speak at first. Then a shriek of joy and excitement. Then a hug for my friend. Then the rest of my life.
I need to clarify again I'm a corporate person with only the beginnings of any interest in anything spiritual. Call it a casual interest in stand up philosophy and a sceptical interest in the spiritual. Yet the very acceptance of something so monumental without question has made me a different person. DMT just is. You smoke it and it just happens. What is there to question? It's so defined by its power that you need not and cannot ask why or how. Maybe that's a metaphor for something even more amazing that we take for granted every day. Life itself. Just accept it as beautiful and crazy. You cannot question or criticise DMT because it happens inside you. It's part of you. That's the most inspiring thing. Something so different yet inside us all along. What else is inside is? Maybe life itself is inside? What does inside even mean? Maybe it's all inside and outside is just an illusion? Perhaps the most important question is what other channels can we switch to?
I believe I only experienced the chrysanthemum. The other side waits.
=
