My inner Demon materialized and we had a chat.

[anrchy]

PRE-CONDITIONS
(mind)Set: Calm/nervous
(physical condition) Set: healthy
Setting (location): Living room, laying on couch
time of day: (12 or 24 hour system, daylight? starlight? overcast?) 1:30 am
recent drug use: (list also any kind of medication) none
last meal: (Time and type) pasta 4 hours ago

PARTICIPANT
Gender: (m / f) M
body weight: (in kg pls) 62.59
known sensitivities: zero
history of use: experienced

BIOASSAY
Substance(s): (list all taken substances) DMT freebase
Dose(s): 16mg
Method of administration: GVG


EFFECTS
Administration time: T=0:00
Duration: 12 minutes
First effects: 20 seconds
Peak: T=0:01
Come down: T=0:12
Baseline: not there yet

Intensity (overall): 2-3
Evaluation / notes:

OPTIONAL
Pleasantness: (0-4)
Implesantness: (0-4)
Visual Intensity: (0-4)
.
.
.


AFTER-EFFECTS
Hangover:
Afterglow:


REPORT

I'm just gonna cut right to the chase. Loaded 16mg in the gvg, was nervous as heck so it took me awhile to calm down. Eventually I ended up saying screw it and sat up and dosed, laid down, closed my eyes, and kept my mind as clear as possible as everything unfolded in front of me. At first it came on kind of slow, then I just shot straight to the waiting room. I have been to this specific one a handful of times now. Its like I am inside living geometric fractal folding transformer internals.

So then I go through my normal loop of, ok I need to breakthrough... my breathing... ok slow my breathing to a stop cause you know you arent actually doing so... no it feels like im actually not breathing now... started breathing again... over and over again.

Then some idea came to me, and it was "just let go, forget about slowing your breathing..." Then it started to feel like I might be coming down from the peak just before I start to let go annnnnnnddddd then... everything ramps up again but doesn't go anywhere. I repeated this I think at least 3 or more times.

Then I feel like I was actually starting to come down and I had a memory lapse, the visuals started to fade and it caused me to think the visuals had been this dark the whole time. Which they most certainly had not. Then I feel this darkness inside me, and it started to get sucked into the visuals. That's literally what it looked like, they were filling with this black stuff and almost had a gooey sensation to it. It then materialized as my inner demons face with tendrils attached to me.

This face resembled part hyperspace graphics, part transformers face, part demonic looking geometric goo. It had more than 2 eyes although I didnt observe that part much. At first he hovered over me grinning with an evil looking smile in an attempt to intimidate me. Somehow my first reaction was to start smiling at him. This gave me a very peculiar sensation in my mind, body, and soul. I could sense that he was trying to overpower me but I was able to stand my ground. As I smiled up at it, I said OUTLOUD (like with my actual voice) the following things to him.

I no longer need you.
Leave me.
You are not wanted here anymore.
You serve me no purpose.
Leave, now.
I have no need for you.

As I kept saying these things to him the experience started to fade. I could feel his influence still, as if he was now hanging on to my body rather than inhabiting it. I quickly opened my eyes because it dawned on me that this felt like a very long experience. I inhaled at 1:30am, and the time was now 1:42. 12 minutes on 16mg.

Now I do not know if there are actually entities or demons or spirits what have you, existing in us or attached to us or influencing us, or if i was just able to materialize my inner negatives into a being in my head. To me this answer does not matter, although is interesting to ponder about. I know why the waiting room, I have been pretty scared to dose and knew that I most likely wouldnt breakthrough on this amount as I used to be able to. Thats all I can muster for this trip report.

This picture is the closest resemblance I can find of the transformers looking face. Although what I saw had hyperspatial aspects to it with goo and geometrics involved.

 

[3rdI]

interesting journey anrchy, I am in agreement that its interesting to wonder if these things are internal or external but at the end of the day its makes no difference, if you act on the knowledge you gain then who really cares.

glad to hear you mustered up the courage to dive back in and then stood your ground when it got a bit necky. Maybe in the future you will be able to knock the demon completely off your shoulder.

I find smiling makes everything better:d

 

[Purges]

All is reflection. DMT is a powerful mirror. At some level it is separate, but then at another it's all you. If it's separate, it needs expelling, if it's internal, it needs transmutation into something more positive.

I wonder if adding some Harmalas into the mix will help you shift the blighter. They are after all a natural purgative. I remember one time I had a Changa session, there may have been additional Harmalas smoked beforehand. I ended up wretching and coughing up a viscous glob of black gloop. Felt very cleansed afterwards. I have had similar occurrences since, but never with such a dark, toxic looking end product. Deeper journeys usually arise in the wake of such cleansing.

 

[anrchy]

knock the demon completely off your shoulder.

I find smiling makes everything better:d

Thanks, in due time I think. Ya smiling has been a great aid in many past DMT experiences. It can increase the positivity flow and it can blast away negative stuffs in hyperspace. I call it my jedi mind trick.

All is reflection. DMT is a powerful mirror. At some level it is separate, but then at another it's all you. If it's separate, it needs expelling, if it's internal, it needs transmutation into something more positive.

Exactly. Ya i plan on including harmalas sometime in the future.

 

[○]

Very interesting report anrchy. I enjoyed reading this.

Tbh, when I first saw the title; I didn't expect this report to be from you, for some reason or another.

Make room for the freaks, the outcasts, the demonics; give them room to breathe. Between each deep breath, smile - and not just physically speaking - but from the heart - a gratuitous welcoming of that which is often shunned, as they lurk in the shadows.

All is fair game in hyperspace; all woven from the same fabric.

Great stuff man. Time for another big plunge soon, eh?

 

[anrchy]

yes, soon hopefully.

 

[Jin]

yessssssssssssssssssssssssss

 

[AcaciaConfusedYah]

You've inspired me to write a report before, you might have just done it again. I have had similar experiences with these demonic manifestations during a journey. I was actually thinking about doing the write up this morning, and then I saw this....

 

[anrchy]

You've inspired me to write a report before, you might have just done it again. I have had similar experiences with these demonic manifestations during a journey. I was actually thinking about doing the write up this morning, and then I saw this....

Awesome dooooo it. Glad I've instilled inspiration in others, feels good!

 

[Alisoka]

Wonderful report. I can actually relate pretty well to what you said about consciously trying to slow down your breathing, then telling yourself not to worry about it.... I've started to get over this more lately but for some reason it's always something I want to do on instinct.

Your demon sure does sound intimidating; good thing you were able to stand up to it. It's remarkable how psychedelics are able to pull these aspects out of us and make them interactive, and even more so with vivid and powerful experiences like this one. Very moving indeed.