I'm not sure where to even begin, so I guess I'll just jump in head-first. Here goes...
I am 19 earth years physically, although I am not sure how old I am mentally. Since thoughts race through my mind at immeasurable speeds constantly, I believe my conscience is years past my physical state.
From a very young age I was not like other kids. Yes I loved playing and pretending, but I always had a thirst for more. I wanted to know reasons and motives behind things that I observed. While other kids played sports and went camping, I contemplated things I could not understand. I remember one sunny afternoon (I would guess I was about 7) I was laying in the shade outside and a thought circled around in my head over and over again. "What was there before there was anything?" I had asked this question before and the response I received was "nothing!" So I began to think about nothing, "how can there be nothing?" when I thought of nothing I pictured of a deep black void. "But even a black void is SOMETHING...it's a black void!" I still have not found an answer, but I'm searching
In 6th grade I became fascinated with the cosmos. It was so big and mysterious! I read and read everything I could. The possibilities seemed endless! By this point I had lost any faith I might have been brought up to have in conventional religion. In my personal view, they tell the same story in a differed way, but do not satisfy my thirst. And that's all I have to say about that.
I remember in 7th grade our class had to sit through a presentation about drugs. Now until this point, I hadn't been much interested in such things. They talked about the usual; marijuana, crack, heroin etc. One particular drug they mentioned I had never heard of. LSD. They made it sound like the worst thing ever and honestly it scared me so I vowed to never try it. At that point in my life I told myself I had no need to do drugs, because only *bad people* took them, and I wasn't bad!
8th grade was when I tried marijuana for the first time. I had an amazing, very very psychedelic experience. This started it all. I thought "Wow, if weed is this awesome, what else is out there??" I became obsessed with mushrooms. Not with doing them, but reading about what they do and imagining what "tripping" was like. I discovered the website erowid.org and spent hours pouring over everything it contained. I read about LSD, the good, the bad, and the extraordinary. It sounded incredible, and horrible simultaneously.
As much as I wanted to, I could not find ANY psychedelics at all. My town only has weed, heroin and crack readily available. It would be years until I tripped. Ironically, my first trip wasn't on mushrooms, but Acid. And what an incredible trip it was! That story is for another time, but just know that it changed my life and my perspective on almost everything. My friends and I came to the conclusion during the trip that "you haven't lived until you had taken acid", which I still believe.
My first trip I took 6 hits spaced out in 3 doses of 2 hits. Later we learned that it was relatively weak acid. My 2nd trip was much more intense. The CID we had this time was on actual blotter paper instead of the white sheet we had before. I ended up eating over 10 hits that night. That night was THE single most important night of my life. I learned what love really was. I understood what the psychedelic era was all about. Everything made sense to me. I revisited the timeless subject of infinity, and for the first time in my life it made complete sense! I literally wrapped my mind around infinity. Which led into the topic of madness. I realized that infinity was madness and madness was the truth. The world is mad, I am mad, you are mad. The fact that we are aware of being aware is mad. I also thought that if this is madness (the peak of the trip) then I'd rather be insane, because it was wordlessly beautiful.
If you have made it to this point, I thank and applaud you. I know this is very long and probably not very entertaining but it is necessary. I had to give some kind of background to "myself".
To sum it all up, I am a young psychonaut in search of "IT". What IT is I have yet to figure out but I feel it's presence hovering over me.
I am 19 earth years physically, although I am not sure how old I am mentally. Since thoughts race through my mind at immeasurable speeds constantly, I believe my conscience is years past my physical state.
From a very young age I was not like other kids. Yes I loved playing and pretending, but I always had a thirst for more. I wanted to know reasons and motives behind things that I observed. While other kids played sports and went camping, I contemplated things I could not understand. I remember one sunny afternoon (I would guess I was about 7) I was laying in the shade outside and a thought circled around in my head over and over again. "What was there before there was anything?" I had asked this question before and the response I received was "nothing!" So I began to think about nothing, "how can there be nothing?" when I thought of nothing I pictured of a deep black void. "But even a black void is SOMETHING...it's a black void!" I still have not found an answer, but I'm searching
In 6th grade I became fascinated with the cosmos. It was so big and mysterious! I read and read everything I could. The possibilities seemed endless! By this point I had lost any faith I might have been brought up to have in conventional religion. In my personal view, they tell the same story in a differed way, but do not satisfy my thirst. And that's all I have to say about that.
I remember in 7th grade our class had to sit through a presentation about drugs. Now until this point, I hadn't been much interested in such things. They talked about the usual; marijuana, crack, heroin etc. One particular drug they mentioned I had never heard of. LSD. They made it sound like the worst thing ever and honestly it scared me so I vowed to never try it. At that point in my life I told myself I had no need to do drugs, because only *bad people* took them, and I wasn't bad!
8th grade was when I tried marijuana for the first time. I had an amazing, very very psychedelic experience. This started it all. I thought "Wow, if weed is this awesome, what else is out there??" I became obsessed with mushrooms. Not with doing them, but reading about what they do and imagining what "tripping" was like. I discovered the website erowid.org and spent hours pouring over everything it contained. I read about LSD, the good, the bad, and the extraordinary. It sounded incredible, and horrible simultaneously.
As much as I wanted to, I could not find ANY psychedelics at all. My town only has weed, heroin and crack readily available. It would be years until I tripped. Ironically, my first trip wasn't on mushrooms, but Acid. And what an incredible trip it was! That story is for another time, but just know that it changed my life and my perspective on almost everything. My friends and I came to the conclusion during the trip that "you haven't lived until you had taken acid", which I still believe.
My first trip I took 6 hits spaced out in 3 doses of 2 hits. Later we learned that it was relatively weak acid. My 2nd trip was much more intense. The CID we had this time was on actual blotter paper instead of the white sheet we had before. I ended up eating over 10 hits that night. That night was THE single most important night of my life. I learned what love really was. I understood what the psychedelic era was all about. Everything made sense to me. I revisited the timeless subject of infinity, and for the first time in my life it made complete sense! I literally wrapped my mind around infinity. Which led into the topic of madness. I realized that infinity was madness and madness was the truth. The world is mad, I am mad, you are mad. The fact that we are aware of being aware is mad. I also thought that if this is madness (the peak of the trip) then I'd rather be insane, because it was wordlessly beautiful.
If you have made it to this point, I thank and applaud you. I know this is very long and probably not very entertaining but it is necessary. I had to give some kind of background to "myself".
To sum it all up, I am a young psychonaut in search of "IT". What IT is I have yet to figure out but I feel it's presence hovering over me.
