My life is all about death

[Zzzarathustra]

The moment I realized I'm going to die some day was the first day of my conscious life. Since then I invested a lot of my time into psychology and philosophy trying to come to terms with this knowledge. It was an interesting and definitely worthy path but the more answers I got the more questions arose. Yet inner peace was nowhere to be found. While searching for an alternative way to see the world, myself, life/death, people I stumbled upon psychedelic culture. A few trips brought me more peace than I ever experienced in my whole life. I'm still new to psychedelics though. Looking forward to DMT experience. My main goal is to completely overcome the fear of death. I feel like I am on the right path, but there is so much more to be learned about myself and life/death. I've been reading this forum for a while, I think this is the proper place for me to learn and, maybe later, share my experience.

 

[MelCat]

Welcome to the Nexus!

What psychedelics have you used so far?

The one thing about trying to find answers with these substances, is you always just end up asking more questions.

The possibilities are truly endless.

 

[Enoon]

Hi Zzzarathustra,

welcome to the nexus.
Sometimes I wonder about the fear of death and if it's not rather a fear of living. Death means nothing; it's just an end of one vibrational complex. But life is everything, to me at least. And often (probably almost always) we are inhibited from fully engaging in it and recognizing our full potential, due to lack of being-confidence (not ego-confidence, we seem to have plenty of that most of the time) and repressed emotions (which are repressed why? feeling of inadequacy perhaps, social conditionings, avoiding unpleasantness, etc.). Maybe we cling to this idea of the self and attribute to it such an over-importance that the real thing - the flow of life - can't really come through any more. Fearing to let go of the ego, the little self and all these unnecessary contractions, fearing to live fully. And finally also fearing the ultimate destruction of this construct, biological death. But that fear IMO is just a symptom of what I just explained.

anyway, it's nice to hear that psychedelics have aided you in your self-reflection and your search for peace and transcendence. I'm sure you will find plenty of great food for thought on these boards, and lots of support for your endeavor to overcome fear and find understanding. I love how we cross-fertilize each others minds here.

cheers & love
Enoon

 

[Zzzarathustra]

Welcome to the Nexus!

What psychedelics have you used so far?

The one thing about trying to find answers with these substances, is you always just end up asking more questions.

The possibilities are truly endless.

so far just shrooms, I don't really consider MDMA or weed as psychedelics(I've seen some people do here). Tried them a few times, but they just make me dumber. Mushrooms on the other hand raise awareness, make my thoughts/vision clearer and sharper, open a portal to my subconscious.

To be honest, I'm not even looking for answers anymore, just peace and whatever else that comes with it, be it beauty of the world or love. Even fear and other crap that comes from bad trips, it's just as useful.

 

[Zzzarathustra]

Hi Zzzarathustra,

welcome to the nexus.
Sometimes I wonder about the fear of death and if it's not rather a fear of living. Death means nothing; it's just an end of one vibrational complex. But life is everything, to me at least. And often (probably almost always) we are inhibited from fully engaging in it and recognizing our full potential, due to lack of being-confidence (not ego-confidence, we seem to have plenty of that most of the time) and repressed emotions (which are repressed why? feeling of inadequacy perhaps, social conditionings, avoiding unpleasantness, etc.). Maybe we cling to this idea of the self and attribute to it such an over-importance that the real thing - the flow of life - can't really come through any more. Fearing to let go of the ego, the little self and all these unnecessary contractions, fearing to live fully. And finally also fearing the ultimate destruction of this construct, biological death. But that fear IMO is just a symptom of what I just explained.

anyway, it's nice to hear that psychedelics have aided you in your self-reflection and your search for peace and transcendence. I'm sure you will find plenty of great food for thought on these boards, and lots of support for your endeavor to overcome fear and find understanding. I love how we cross-fertilize each others minds here.

cheers & love
Enoon

You're right, death means nothing, but life is so beautiful, I don't want it to end !

thanks for a welcome and intelligent/kind words. It's a number one reason why I like this place and wanna be a part of. Great atmosphere, great people...

 

[endlessness]

Welcome to the Nexus !

I wonder if we can ever be completely unafraid of death. Considering we are a biological organism, maybe the most basic and deepest instinct we have is self-preservation, so I think its only natural at least to some extent we will "fear" it. But I totally know what you mean that often that gets out of control, exagerated, and as Enoon very well said, it actually translates into being affraid of living, not appreciating and living fullest in each moment.

Its interesting that certain cultures use the idea of death as an ally, as something to help is live better each moment. The sufis for example, at times can have some practices related to visualization of death, trying to think of the beloved ones that died, at the impermanence of life, so that it gives us perspective, shocks us into appreciating each moment more.

When you say you are not looking for answers, I know what you mean and I think a lot of people here will agree that these substances (and life) will bring more questions than answers ("The bigger the island of knowledge, the larger the coast of wonder") . But its also natural that we look for answers too, its part of being human, to try to fit things into structures, notice the patterns, try to make sense of whats going on. As long as it done with a humble attitude, knowing that the answers we find might not be right or might be inadequate at some other point or situation, and that reaching answers (or 'indications' at least) doesnt make us stop looking and questioning.

So you say you are looking forward to dmt, are you planning the extraction yet? Do you have it clear in your head already, decided which method to use? Also what about oral dmt/ayahuasca/analogues, any interest in that?

See you around!

 

[Zzzarathustra]

Welcome to the Nexus !

I wonder if we can ever be completely unafraid of death. Considering we are a biological organism, maybe the most basic and deepest instinct we have is self-preservation, so I think its only natural at least to some extent we will "fear" it. But I totally know what you mean that often that gets out of control, exagerated, and as Enoon very well said, it actually translates into being affraid of living, not appreciating and living fullest in each moment.

Its interesting that certain cultures use the idea of death as an ally, as something to help is live better each moment. The sufis for example, at times can have some practices related to visualization of death, trying to think of the beloved ones that died, at the impermanence of life, so that it gives us perspective, shocks us into appreciating each moment more.

When you say you are not looking for answers, I know what you mean and I think a lot of people here will agree that these substances (and life) will bring more questions than answers ("The bigger the island of knowledge, the larger the coast of wonder") . But its also natural that we look for answers too, its part of being human, to try to fit things into structures, notice the patterns, try to make sense of whats going on. As long as it done with a humble attitude, knowing that the answers we find might not be right or might be inadequate at some other point or situation, and that reaching answers (or 'indications' at least) doesnt make us stop looking and questioning.

So you say you are looking forward to dmt, are you planning the extraction yet? Do you have it clear in your head already, decided which method to use? Also what about oral dmt/ayahuasca/analogues, any interest in that?

See you around!

self-preservation saves us from doing stupid things and endangering ourselves. It has its useful purpose. I wonder if I can separate this fear from the one that I'm trying to let go.

As for extraction and method of intake, Yes, I am in a process of purchasing all needed ingredients/equipment. Don't really like the oral method, that's why I never went through with the ayahuasca extract that I made about a year ago. I'm pretty much set on smoking it.

 

[Urban Spaceman]

Hi Zzzarathustra,

welcome to the nexus.
Sometimes I wonder about the fear of death and if it's not rather a fear of living. Death means nothing; it's just an end of one vibrational complex. But life is everything, to me at least. And often (probably almost always) we are inhibited from fully engaging in it and recognizing our full potential, due to lack of being-confidence (not ego-confidence, we seem to have plenty of that most of the time) and repressed emotions (which are repressed why? feeling of inadequacy perhaps, social conditionings, avoiding unpleasantness, etc.). Maybe we cling to this idea of the self and attribute to it such an over-importance that the real thing - the flow of life - can't really come through any more. Fearing to let go of the ego, the little self and all these unnecessary contractions, fearing to live fully. And finally also fearing the ultimate destruction of this construct, biological death. But that fear IMO is just a symptom of what I just explained.

anyway, it's nice to hear that psychedelics have aided you in your self-reflection and your search for peace and transcendence. I'm sure you will find plenty of great food for thought on these boards, and lots of support for your endeavor to overcome fear and find understanding. I love how we cross-fertilize each others minds here.

cheers & love
Enoon

You're right, death means nothing, but life is so beautiful, I don't want it to end !

thanks for a welcome and intelligent/kind words. It's a number one reason why I like this place and wanna be a part of. Great atmosphere, great people...

I am surprised to see others here that view death as nothing, not to say it is AT ALL wrong, who the heck knows, right? But one thing a breakthrough (usually but not always) teaches you is that you are an eternal being, that dying lets you become a part of the omniverse while at the sametime BEING the omniverse. I have had a true breakthrough one time and I now firmly believe that death is exactly what I experienced (minus the coming back). It may sound naive and self-centered to think this molecule has given me the chance to know the mystery of death/afterlife, but during the experience, because of DMT not letting go of the ego, I knew I was dead. At first the idea of being dead was horribly frightening, but ~5 seconds after that thought I accepted my apparent fate and became the MOST at ease, understanding, euphoric I have ever been. Touching back down was quite rocky...accepting death and having it be the most beautiful thing you've ever experienced being ripped away and putting you back into the incredibly ignorant life that humans live is not something that is easy. I believe this is why newborns are born with no soul, but build it with age. This is because not being alive is the same as being in/the omniverse that I experienced. A newborn having the spiritual recognition enough to know that they have been transformed into this humanoid being would be far too much for the physical traits that newborns have. This also goes along with my belief that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) are babies that have recognized their place in the omniverse and simply accept death/give up this life because they can recognize the suffering that living is.

People are afraid of death because they are afraid of suffering, but they have it backwards. living is the struggle, death is quite simple. People see death as a struggle because of physical and emotional pain that they might experience...but that is part of living...death lacks even the understanding of struggle and pain.

 

[endlessness]

I am surprised to see others here that view death as nothing, not to say it is AT ALL wrong, who the heck knows, right? But one thing a breakthrough (usually but not always) teaches you is that you are an eternal being, that dying lets you become a part of the omniverse while at the sametime BEING the omniverse. I have had a true breakthrough one time and I now firmly believe that death is exactly what I experienced (minus the coming back). It may sound naive and self-centered to think this molecule has given me the chance to know the mystery of death/afterlife, but during the experience, because of DMT not letting go of the ego, I knew I was dead. At first the idea of being dead was horribly frightening, but ~5 seconds after that thought I accepted my apparent fate and became the MOST at ease, understanding, euphoric I have ever been. Touching back down was quite rocky...accepting death and having it be the most beautiful thing you've ever experienced being ripped away and putting you back into the incredibly ignorant life that humans live is not something that is easy. I believe this is why newborns are born with no soul, but build it with age. This is because not being alive is the same as being in/the omniverse that I experienced. A newborn having the spiritual recognition enough to know that they have been transformed into this humanoid being would be far too much for the physical traits that newborns have. This also goes along with my belief that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) are babies that have recognized their place in the omniverse and simply accept death/give up this life because they can recognize the suffering that living is.

People are afraid of death because they are afraid of suffering, but they have it backwards. living is the struggle, death is quite simple. People see death as a struggle because of physical and emotional pain that they might experience...but that is part of living...death lacks even the understanding of struggle and pain.

A couple of comments...

First of all, when you talk about the effects of a substance such as dmt, I recommend you dont say "dmt shows you (whatever)". Rather say "dmt shows me whatever". I for example dont agree with you, so I dont feel its right that anybody speaks for others what their psychedelic experiences are like. I know you didnt mean to impose your vision but this is a suggestion to be as aware as possible of how you use language and words to communicate your ideas .

Now as for the specific thing you said, one thing that psychedelic substances showed me is that not every insight is true, that we can be fooled or mistaken with our subjective perceptions. So you had a trip that showed you will live after death in the 10th heaven together with the angels (I know thats not what you said, just for the sake of argument here), does that mean its true? So does it mean its true for people that trip that aliens are invading their body with aluminium-copper instruments, even if it seems very very real to them? etc..

In any case I do know what you mean about the perception that is common, that life is just a part of the process, that one way or another it all continues, but in the end who's to say whats after death? I'd rather take the "I have no idea and it doesnt matter in the very least because I still have to try and go about my day the best way possible" position, but each one to their own

 

[Enoon]

I am surprised to see others here that view death as nothing, not to say it is AT ALL wrong, who the heck knows, right? But one thing a breakthrough (usually but not always) teaches you is that you are an eternal being, that dying lets you become a part of the omniverse while at the sametime BEING the omniverse.

I've had a couple of break-throughs and I can see how one might think of the state that one enters as being a death experience or a near death experience, but generally I don't like that take on it. I also dislike the idea that only when we die can we be in the omniverse. I think we can reach states right here right now in which we can realize how fully we really are already and absolutely inseparable from the omniverse. Our consciosness may be an expression of the sum-total-of-all in a synergetic way. Personal death in that sense is meaningless to it; only life and its progression matters.

I believe this is why newborns are born with no soul, but build it with age. This is because not being alive is the same as being in/the omniverse that I experienced. A newborn having the spiritual recognition enough to know that they have been transformed into this humanoid being would be far too much for the physical traits that newborns have. This also goes along with my belief that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) are babies that have recognized their place in the omniverse and simply accept death/give up this life because they can recognize the suffering that living is.

I find this belief very life negating. basically you are saying life sucks and any sensible creature that recognizes this off's themselves. I don't mind strange beliefs, but I wonder if this one is very beneficial for you as a being?

IMO life isn't suffering. We suffer IMO because we have an erroneous picture of the world that is composed of static elements and substances instead of processes and interrelations. In my view consciousness depends on life and therefore life is of the utmost importance. Additionally if done properly life can be amazing, including all the struggling and pain and confusion that we might (most likely) experience during it.

 

[SWIMfriend]

I'm not even remotely concerned with death: I'm sure that, for "me," it's simply...nothingness--there IS nothing to worry about.

But I'm quite fearful of DYING (both as a process over a longer term, and at the very end). Struggling for one's last breath, feeling oneself..."smothered" out of life, hard questions and thoughts that could arise spontaneously near the end; regrets or guilt; a sense of "leaving" loved ones. Oddly, for me, the greatest fear right now is probably the idea of dying with "yet unfinished business" in my life.

There seems to be an endless opportunity for suffering near the end. Surely, there are many stories to be found of extreme fear and terror some people have experienced at the very end.

 

[Urban Spaceman]

I am surprised to see others here that view death as nothing, not to say it is AT ALL wrong, who the heck knows, right? But one thing a breakthrough (usually but not always) teaches you is that you are an eternal being, that dying lets you become a part of the omniverse while at the sametime BEING the omniverse.

I've had a couple of break-throughs and I can see how one might think of the state that one enters as being a death experience or a near death experience, but generally I don't like that take on it. I also dislike the idea that only when we die can we be in the omniverse. I think we can reach states right here right now in which we can realize how fully we really are already and absolutely inseparable from the omniverse. Our consciosness may be an expression of the sum-total-of-all in a synergetic way. Personal death in that sense is meaningless to it; only life and its progression matters.

I believe this is why newborns are born with no soul, but build it with age. This is because not being alive is the same as being in/the omniverse that I experienced. A newborn having the spiritual recognition enough to know that they have been transformed into this humanoid being would be far too much for the physical traits that newborns have. This also goes along with my belief that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) are babies that have recognized their place in the omniverse and simply accept death/give up this life because they can recognize the suffering that living is.

I find this belief very life negating. basically you are saying life sucks and any sensible creature that recognizes this off's themselves. I don't mind strange beliefs, but I wonder if this one is very beneficial for you as a being?

IMO life isn't suffering. We suffer IMO because we have an erroneous picture of the world that is composed of static elements and substances instead of processes and interrelations. In my view consciousness depends on life and therefore life is of the utmost importance. Additionally if done properly life can be amazing, including all the struggling and pain and confusion that we might (most likely) experience during it.

My belief about life being a struggle may not make things seem happier, but to believe it isn't a struggle seems like a form of denial, denial meaning it makes YOU happier, but it isn't the truth. The fact that we KNOW NOTHING, is a harsh truth as well, but it needs to be learned in order to start knowing. I use psychedelics to find truths, living being a struggle is one that I have adopted. If you think that me saying it is a struggle means that it isnt beautiful or positive or any of the other amazing things about life, you did not fully grasp my angle. Sorry for the misunderstanding, I don't think I ever said that life sucks and people who have experienced "everything" commit suicide, that is pretty ridiculous. I said that living is a struggle, death is not. Saying something is a struggle does not mean it "sucks" but compared to other things that ARE NOT a struggle, it seems less attractive. And to reiterate, I never said life is suffering either, if I did i misplaced the word while meaning struggling. What I did say was suffering is what some people go through when they are dying (dying being a living experience, death not being one). I agree with you that the omniverse is not only accessible through death...it is accessible through DMT for some, for others meditiation, for some psychosis, for others there is no way...yet. We are evolving neurologically and to think that the omniverse requires you to die is, in my opinion, quite closed minded, so I agree with that part of your post.

Also, debating spiritual beliefs shouldn't be happening on this board...no one holds the same exact values and beliefs as another. If you took my beliefs into consideration and disagreed as it seems you have, please just brush it off as it holds no benefit for you. This is a place to discuss these things, not criticize.

 

[Urban Spaceman]

First of all, when you talk about the effects of a substance such as dmt, I recommend you dont say "dmt shows you (whatever)". Rather say "dmt shows me whatever". I for example dont agree with you, so I dont feel its right that anybody speaks for others what their psychedelic experiences are like. I know you didnt mean to impose your vision but this is a suggestion to be as aware as possible of how you use language and words to communicate your ideas .

I never meant to impose my beliefs, I think it goes without saying that when someone shares their spiritual beliefs that it is individual, different from everyone else. I do think that when someone does share these types of things, people who disagree tend to see it as imposition since it unintentionally has you question your own. The beliefs I shared are not even 100% believed by myself, it is a speculation, I think if one's beliefs are not a speculation and thought of as fact, it is not a form of knowing but quite the opposite.

And when saying "DMT shows you" I had something before it saying "sometimes but not always" just as a disclaimer. True breakthroughs have been somewhat universal, and breaking through is defined by many exeriencing everything or becoming everything. Some people view a break through as a heavy trip with entities, celestial toys, etc. but in my opinion is just a DMT trip since that is what happens. Language is one of our largest drawbacks as humans, I couldnt even explain my take on death without seeming as I am implying that "I know."

 

[olympus mon]

self-preservation saves us from doing stupid things and endangering ourselves. It has its useful purpose. I wonder if I can separate this fear from the one that I'm trying to let go.

great topic and welcome to the nexus Zzz. we arent to far different in our thoughts as ive been very interested in and in a way looking forward to death since i was very young. its a complicated topic and often people hear these thoughts we have and take it the wrong way. i love life, i love my life but i also will love my death and transformation.

my hobbies include sports that take great risks and i have lost 3 friends this past 10 months one of them died right under our care in the field after a jump went horribly wrong. watching paul leave his body is one of the most powerful and surreal experiences ive had. this really opened up new emotions an outlook tords death and living life.

i would ask you what it is you think you would gain by not fearing your own death? in what way do you feel not fearing death would enrich your life?

 

[Urban Spaceman]

great topic and welcome to the nexus Zzz. we arent to far different in our thoughts as ive been very interested in and in a way looking forward to death since i was very young. its a complicated topic and often people hear these thoughts we have and take it the wrong way. i love life, i love my life but i also will love my death and transformation.

i would ask you what it is you think you would gain by not fearing your own death? in what way do you feel not fearing death would enrich your life?

That's a great outlook, I'm sure many people would love to be in that type of mindset towards death (especially since childhood!). I haven't feared death at all to the extent that I used to ever since beginning my journey that involves using psychedelics. I know just what you mean when you say anticipating death, I have to hold that belief in during most social situations since people jump to the conclusion that it must mean I want to die unnaturally as soon as possible. So many have found psychedelics and entactogens to dissolve some of that built in fear us humans have towards death...I don;t know exactly how these substances have done this to so many, including myself who has gone through that phase where the fear of death dissipates to some degree. My guess is it's something to do with experiencing such an intense change in perception that we assume is involved in death since science has told us we lose what makes us human and concious. Losing your conciousness would obviously mean losing perception, which is a change. Maybe that intense shift in perception that people gain while under the influence of psychs is what eats away at our deeply engrained fear of death.

I think a very important question regarding this topic is "Why are so many people afraid of death in the first place?" Maybe it could be the puritanical base we have in western civilizations, we will be judged for our rights and our wrongs which makes it seem like any "wrongdoing" (by whatever guidlines) will set you up for punishment (Heaven and Hell)

 

[Zzzarathustra]

I am surprised to see others here that view death as nothing, not to say it is AT ALL wrong, who the heck knows, right? But one thing a breakthrough (usually but not always) teaches you is that you are an eternal being, that dying lets you become a part of the omniverse while at the sametime BEING the omniverse. I have had a true breakthrough one time and I now firmly believe that death is exactly what I experienced (minus the coming back). It may sound naive and self-centered to think this molecule has given me the chance to know the mystery of death/afterlife, but during the experience, because of DMT not letting go of the ego, I knew I was dead. At first the idea of being dead was horribly frightening, but ~5 seconds after that thought I accepted my apparent fate and became the MOST at ease, understanding, euphoric I have ever been. Touching back down was quite rocky...accepting death and having it be the most beautiful thing you've ever experienced being ripped away and putting you back into the incredibly ignorant life that humans live is not something that is easy. I believe this is why newborns are born with no soul, but build it with age. This is because not being alive is the same as being in/the omniverse that I experienced. A newborn having the spiritual recognition enough to know that they have been transformed into this humanoid being would be far too much for the physical traits that newborns have. This also goes along with my belief that Sudden Infant Death Syndrome (SIDS) are babies that have recognized their place in the omniverse and simply accept death/give up this life because they can recognize the suffering that living is.

People are afraid of death because they are afraid of suffering, but they have it backwards. living is the struggle, death is quite simple. People see death as a struggle because of physical and emotional pain that they might experience...but that is part of living...death lacks even the understanding of struggle and pain.

- is it possible that DMT experience is just that - an experience and whatever you get from it, is not an ultimate truth ?
- I don't know about other people, but I'm not afraid of suffering, it's not about pain for me and life is not a struggle. Life is beautiful. It is as simple as not wanting to stop existing, that's it.

 

[Zzzarathustra]

i would ask you what it is you think you would gain by not fearing your own death? in what way do you feel not fearing death would enrich your life?

For some reason I equate no fear of death to inner peace. There is almost nothing else that bothers me in life. People come and go, I'm used to cutting off an emotional attachment to others. It doesn't hurt anymore. We are born alone and die alone. Others are just passengers in our lives. I don't care about material values. I'm not really looking for love, it's very probable i won't ever start a family, I'm mostly content with all this, but my own death... i just can't wrap my mind around it.

Do you not believe that inner peace can possibly enrich someone's life ?

 

[Zzzarathustra]

I think a very important question regarding this topic is "Why are so many people afraid of death in the first place?" Maybe it could be the puritanical base we have in western civilizations, we will be judged for our rights and our wrongs which makes it seem like any "wrongdoing" (by whatever guidlines) will set you up for punishment (Heaven and Hell)

It's natural to be afraid of death. Like someone mentioned already in this thread, self-preservation is one of our strongest instincts.

 

[olympus mon]

Do you not believe that inner peace can possibly enrich someone's life ?

but of coarse.... but im not sure you need to not fear death to have that peace. maybe the word i am more comfortable with is acceptance. i feel you must accept your own mortality to have true peace.

btw -i wasnt asking those questions because i disagree with anything you say i just wanted to hear your answers. i use to feel the same way as you but after a very close call with my own death 2 Aprils ago then watching a friend die 2 months later i have a different outlook.

 

[Urban Spaceman]

- is it possible that DMT experience is just that - an experience and whatever you get from it, is not an ultimate truth ?
- I don't know about other people, but I'm not afraid of suffering, it's not about pain for me and life is not a struggle. Life is beautiful. It is as simple as not wanting to stop existing, that's it.

- It is entirely possible it is not the ultimate truth, I'd even go to the extent to say that the chance of it being the answer is very slim. I believe that DMT is giving me different beliefs of the ultimate truth to embrace as my dominant belief over time; this leads to a lifetime full of different perspectives and speculations (ranging from infinite beauty to horrificly gruesome) as to what that truth is, so many angles being touched on. It really is incredibly colorful once you move past the point that you will not know the truth.

- We can agree on one thing indeed, life is BEAUTIFUL. That is not to imply it is not a struggle...some of the most beautiful things are due to struggle and suffering (a relative example: The extremes I go to to try and reach the destination of my overall Journey). When you say "It is as simple as not wanting to stop existing" it sounds rational, but think of what comes along with not wanting to stop existing...so many things MUST be done and given effort in order for that to happen, let alone all of the extra stressors we give ourselves that have nothing to do with surviving/existing.

Not only are there countless individual struggles we endure in a lifetime, but life as a whole can be viewed as a struggle - The most incredible and beautiful struggle I can percieve.