I've had a couple of break-throughs and I can see how one might think of the state that one enters as being a death experience or a near death experience, but generally I don't like that take on it. I also dislike the idea that only when we die can we be in the omniverse. I think we can reach states right here right now in which we can realize how fully we really are already and absolutely inseparable from the omniverse. Our consciosness may be an expression of the sum-total-of-all in a synergetic way. Personal death in that sense is meaningless to it; only life and its progression matters.

I find this belief very life negating. basically you are saying life sucks and any sensible creature that recognizes this off's themselves. I don't mind strange beliefs, but I wonder if this one is very beneficial for you as a being?

IMO life isn't suffering. We suffer IMO because we have an erroneous picture of the world that is composed of static elements and substances instead of processes and interrelations. In my view consciousness depends on life and therefore life is of the utmost importance. Additionally if done properly life can be amazing, including all the struggling and pain and confusion that we might (most likely) experience during it.