Soulshine
Rising Star
My Sabbatical, a Special Time(s)
First, I’d like to once again thank the members of the Nexus for all of the advice, learning material, and comments that have helped me through my journey thus far. I know for a fact I wouldn’t be where I stand today if it wasn’t for you guys. It has been and continues to be a pleasure to be part of this community (even though I may not post very often, I’m glad many of you do). This has been the first and only forum that I’ve ever been a part of (besides fb if that counts), and have never felt the need to go anywhere else. Perhaps I limit myself by doing so, but I have not felt the level of maturity or a wealth of knowledge in the other forums I have browsed thru. Cheers !
(p.s. - i tried to attach other specific pics that i wanted to share (sorry theres a few doubles), but photo bucket was giving me a hard time. You can still look thru them once one of the pics displayed is selected. Ive got pics of the birds as well as my dog Mary Jane who was a trooper thru this crazy time. She def kept me company!)
Before I dive into my story, I’ll say a little bit about myself to help paint the picture. I’m 28 years old and besides being a psychonaut my main hobby is music. I’ve been in love with it since elementary school. I took several voice and music theory classes and started playing the bass guitar when I was 14. Since then I’ve been in several bands and attend music festivals in the warmer months. The band I’m in now is fairly active, playing usually two or more gigs a month depending…
My biggest regret in life so far is not finishing college. Although I continue to feed my brain every day and learn as much as possible, I know my learning and resources are limited. I can only Google so much.
I have had over twenty jobs: cooking in several restaurants, landscape/mason work, retail, warehousing/driving truck, and minor mechanic work. A jack of many trades, master at only a couple 8>p…
I came to this point (chapter) in my life that I’ve been calling ‘my sabbatical’ when I was let go from my warehouse/truck driving position. It was mid-December of this past year. I was approved for unemployment, which was barely enough money to keep the wheels greased, but I made do. I did have to make some adjustments though.
I ended up moving into my grandparent’s house which was wonderful. I’ve been out on my own since I was twenty busting my ass with two, sometimes three jobs at once, and this was a nice lil break… especially since they’re snow birds and go to FL for four months a year…. They left a couple of days after Christmas, “Goodbye, love you, take care!”
And so my journey began.
First things first! I rearranged the family room to my liking with my own décor and “meditation station”. Then I smudged the room speaking my intentions. I meditate quite often, and find it very helpful especially when the effects of the vine and spice carry you far and fast. It has helped me gain focus when fidgeting and fluttering.
A couple of weeks later a friend and I ordered some MHRB, caapi vine, and caapi leafs. We would be making our first batches of Aya, Pharma, and 10x Changa. First we made the changa, which is now my preferred smoking method
… A couple of months ago I bought this beautiful little bong. Its got two chambers with four percolators’ in the second. Smoothest smoking devise I’ve ever owned, perfect for Changa (I also have a GVG which is smooth, but I get too much of a drip no matter what I do!). The changa is simply amazing! It feels much more organic as far as the flow of the trip visually and mentally opposed to fb imo. And the afterglow is great! I’ve been able to go very deep with the changa, nearly reaching an Aya state of mind (not as intense of course but close) which will come up later!After a couple of months of concentrated meditation and many changa sessions, my friend and I decided it was time to take the next step. We were ready to make the brews. Coincidentally we made them on the first two days of spring (I didn’t even realize it until the night before)! I’m not sure if that was a factor in the energy levels of the spirit of the vine, but while cooking, while smudging, I spoke my intentions and asked to be broken down to the foundation and built back up. Spring is a time of new life, when older life creates new…
I was also privileged to observe a mated pair of doves nesting right outside the kitchen window. There is a grapevine older then me, and EVERY year a pair of doves make a nest in the same spot . I found myself worried about them surviving the cold. There were nights where the temp dropped down into the 20s and snow piled up on the mother (spring seems to have taken longer to get here this year). But that didn’t stop mother nature! The baby birds lived and grew quickly!
It took me three times to find my “sweet spot”. I weigh about 155 give or take…We started off with a low dose. Seventy-five grams of caapi, and only four grams of MHRB. I wasn’t able to hold it down for very long before I purged . I was a bit disappointed for a while, but regained my focus and enjoyed what little effects I did feel with some help from changa. It was an ok body buzz and I got some sweet visuals, but this was just an ice breaker. (my friend held his down the whole time and reported seeing and feeling much stronger effects then I.
The second time we doubled our caapi dose to 150 (which seems to be my comfort level). Instead of MHRB we went the pharma route. 150mg fb dissolved in OJ. I wasn’t quite where I wanted to be so I took another 70mg about 45min or an hour after consumption. Aaahhhhh!! Much better I was getting closer to the “sweet spot”.
The third time ended up being a solo mission. My friend had to cancel due to work related obligations. Since we both preferred the pharma, he didn’t mind that I took the odd dose of mimosa. So I stuck with the 150g of caapi and consumed an unknown amount of mimosa brew which filled a wine glass. I drank a little over ¾ of it and sat in front of the fireplace in a ¼ lotus position and meditated for a bit. About an hour later I purged… shortly after I began to feel the spirit coming over me.
Being alone, in a quiet room, feeling out the situation, I wasn’t sure what to do with my self. I stayed as composed as possible and decided to smoke some changa……
After 4 or 5 large hits from the bong I felt a growing surging feeling running up my spine! So I quickly put the bong down, and after I did the quiet room began to fill with noise! I can only describe it as two dozen crickets chirping all over the room at different time intervals… The sensation of the surge of spirit grew even more!
During that moment I had changed to a kneeling position and put my head between my legs with my forehead touching the ground. And as I moved into position, when putting my head down, a bluish/ purple mechanical cloud with multi colored gizmos and gadgets sucked me down a tube and into a dimly lit spherical room! A familiar voice began to speak to me. It was a super low vibrant voice that didn’t speak English which I had heard before in a high dose of mushrooms late last year…
My view point was from above and diagonally behind the silhouette of my “body”. The cap of my head was missing, and the inside of it I can only describe as a multi colored bar graph, which I can only guess were my thoughts and memories. The cloud began to probe around, which didn’t hurt at all. It seemed quite friendly. And during the probing I must have thought something or gestured or said something that it must have been amused by. It was talking to me in a semi-serious tone and was suddenly caught off guard. It seemed to laugh at me (in a friendly matter). Seconds later I was shot back up into my body in shock and awe.
The rest of the trip was a little more low key, but the visuals were still fantastic! Behind closed eyelids I would see spheres with pyramids rotating inside, and ribbons streaming everywhere!
( I know this is getting long, please bear with me)
(Just two more experiences left to share for now. Although I have more…)
I forgot to mention earlier that also during this time of soul searching, I think I may have found my soul mate! Just after I lost my job and moved into my grandparents house, I started an intimate relationship with her after I told myself no women right NOW. But I hear from countless people that love strikes when you least suspect it! After all, I was jobless living at my grandparents house with a broke down car and only myself to offer.
It turns out that not only were we in the 5th grade together (which I remembered), but we were also in the 4th grade together as well (which I forgot)! She still has our class pics, lol… Our paths have crossed a few times over the past two decades (saw each other but never really talked), but now they run closely parallel.
I mention this because she was deeply tied into a pharma journey… This time I dosed 150g caapi and 300mg fb. Once again, shortly after my purge, the effects rapidly approached. I worked my way into a head space where it seemed I was mentally linked to my girlfriend. (She doesn’t smoke or drink ANYTHING, but she meditates and seems to have PROFOUND journeys without! This runs in her family)
Any ways, I couldn’t figuratively see her face, but I could hear and SEE her voice. I was caught in a kaleidoscope of colors and shapes which represented her words and emotions. The colors and shapes fell into place like a jig saw puzzle gracefully and poetically if that makes sense. She was telling me how much she loved me and how happy I made her! Many other thoughts and images came into my head, but I can vaguely remember them. Never before, have I felt a connection like THIS.
And last but not least, is one of my most recent changa sessions.
I was in my room just after midnight when I started the session. The first cone allowed me to get my feet wet before I took a dip. It was very pleasant and beautiful. I don't think that i ever closed my eyes. But thats only because I was astonished to see tribal like tattoos all over my legs! They were charcoal colored with black spots and moved! The second cone took me for a ride!
In the blink of an eye, I was transported. Idk exactly WHEN or WHERE I was, but I seemed to have time traveled/transported into my own world! It was amazing! There were creatures dancing in a landscape of geometry and saying hello to me specifically saying my name, and every one knew each other. (a network of minds)
I could see myself. I had long grey hair and a shaggy beard. And similar to the kaleidoscope I was in earlier, I was now hearing and seeing the voice of a teenage girl (sounds strange, but I think it was my unborn daughter) who was using some kind of technology to simultaneously talk to me (saying “hello”) and to one of her friends! I remember it sounding like a typical teenage girl on the phone, except she was instant messaging us with thought talk!
After that reality faded back in, but I was still tripping very hard. I was on my bed looking down at the floor ( I think ) and saw an egg shaped dome (which was the “dimension” I was just in, the size of two basketballs, and saw trails of light from me to the egg.) WOW!!!!
During this time I rediscovered myself and so much more. I’ve heard of people talk of a “price to pay” and “lesson learned”. Up until my sabbatical, I only had an idea of what that meant. One thing I didn’t mention above was the emotional impact this has left on me. During each session, I cried tears of sorrow and joy. It was quite the roller coaster of extreme highs and lows which allowed me to see myself, and what I need to do and where I need to focus my energy. It’s been a long strange trip, but there is still so much more to go…
Thank you so much for reading,
Love, Life, and Music,
Soulshine
