• Members of the previous forum can retrieve their temporary password here, (login and check your PM).

my worst dmt trip yet...

Migrated topic.
modsquad09

modsquad09

mods
Tonight i had my cousin video tape, i had some left over spice from earlier(not sure of the amount i just load it), i was planning on just getting some small visuals so i could get what happened on tape..

well the small pile started bubbling all sick & massive amounts of smoke were coming out, i dont like to waste money so i took as much as i could, about 6 regular puffs in one breath, probably a good breakthrough amount..

I remember clenching my fists and body due to letting the harsh smoke out.. no coughs till after..

this one started out bad from the go..
It was like all my bad karma/bad thoughts were filling my head at once, everyone in my family & friends were laughing at me & would eventually turn on me(in real life like these "gypsies" had a spell on me(in real life) & this was just a reminder

nothing i could do.. i must of done something wrong in my life, or in a past life to deserve such a terrible experience..
i was shocked.

it was like i was dying or i wanted to die after feeling these negative emotions.
I remember thinking damm this is so alein during the trip
& i remember animals howling(had my window open) i thought about pink floyds animals & thought of it a coincidence that they were saying yeah your fucked.

I wondering if this was because i took mdma last night.. but i wasnt tired or didnt "crash" from it or feel depressed & plus i took some vitamins and 5-htp to restore myself..

ive brokethrough before, on acid twice, but this stuff grabbed my by the balls & ripped me in half

was this a sign, trying to tell me something? or just some bad entities fucking with me?

ive always had good times with dmt, strange yes, but usually magical & more fractal..nice entities, with gifts & encouraging words..

this time was more of a bunch of scattered images & bad memories, totall hell

it all lasted about 12 minutes..

this is also a new batch of spice taht ive notice lasts alil longer in the pipe and bubbles more?
 
Could be the 5-htp. A FOAF noticed an intensification of the mushroom experience when he had taken 5-htp a few hours earlier, and, as we know, shrooms and DMT are chemically very similar.
 
If I was doing any sort of entheogen I would abstain from all types of psychoactives and drugs for at least 3 days and do some type of fasting.

Don't have shit in your system when your taking the good medicine.
 
heh yeah i guess i learned the hard way with mdma..
dmt goes great normally with normal 5-htp doses.. & other psy drugs so i figured id give it a shot, maybe if i was actually on the X instead of smoking spice the next day
 
[nothing i could do.. i must of done something wrong in my life, or in a past life to deserve such a terrible experience..]

I don't know about your life bro and I hate to be a preacher but by videotaping you are committing a spiritual sin in my opinion, and more, you are inviting ridicule indeed... think about it... even the best films or photos leave room for mockery by the uninitiated or close minded. So yeah, you reacted to fear of ridicule because you were asking for it in the future, and the mind on spice knows no past/present, no time.

You said you smoked it all because you don't like wasting money, but that is self-defeating. For one, spice is cheap unless your supplier is bunk. But more importantly, i just don't think money should be on your mind when doing spice, its the antithesis spiritually.

I am noticing a lot of bad experiences are coming out of people doing spice because they feel they have to. My advice is to read some weird shit related to your experiences on some nights, drugs, chemistry, quantum physiics, spirituality, shamanism... i discovered there are some authors who are almost as good as drugs and fill my mind with as many interesting ideas as a trip. The way i do it is if i have a really amazing breathrough experience (like my last one, words would only make me sound insane) i sit on it for a week or two until the next one. It took a few months but now i am more in a non-regular routine where i know when i want/need it and i know when i would just be 'smoking it cuz i got it' like i do weed.

Each to their own, just my 1 cent.
 
yeah.. flyboy.. you got good points there. i would have said something like that. when the white man first took pictures of indians they thought that having their picture taken by this "strange machine" would steal or damage their soul. that's why most pictures of indians from the old days are usually pretty tense. they don't look happy to be standing where they are.

also what would you have proven by videotaping yourself? on dmt everyone looks as if sleeping. no big deal. you won't see the soul exiting the body or anything like that. and PLEASE don't ever post it on youtube. its already enough that that chick from neurosoup posted about her anal experience with dmt.

it is also a fact that MDMA is total crap for your system as well as your soul. real happiness comes from within. from true insight. MDMA is just like alcohol in my opinion. it makes you feel really happy for a short time and then you feel like crap.

all the people who love tryptamines which I know of usually tend to hate MDMA and all those other partydrugs. They provide no real insight. MDMA is only truly good for use in psychotherapy. Also it is very good for strengthening relationships between two people who already have come to love eachother. MDMA is like medicine I think. Its only for therapy use and NOT for enjoyment purposes.

The spice teaches us to keep our body clean and our mind open. Go with its teachings or it will not do you well. It is very powerful. Nothing to be taking for entertainment purpose.

Each time I have had otherworldly experiences it usually takes at least a month or two to successfully integrate the experience. Like McKenna once said. Your mind is like a dipstick. You dip it in the pool of knowledge and then check out the flavor for a couple of months before dipping in again.

I also think that smoking it in any manner is a pure waste. One should go for the REAL thing and take ayahuasca. At least pharmahuasca. It is the way it should be. Strong trips need to come on slow. That way much more insight can be earned from them. For me each ayahuasca trip is like dying and being reborn. Dying is not a thing which I like to do on the weekends for pleasure. For pleasure I smoke some weed. Time in between trips I read a lot and practice meditation. True insight usually comes from the time in between trips not during the trip itself.

peace
 
Thats your opinion cheech. I enjoy mdma brings you closer to your friends and its fun, theres nothing wrong with having fun is there?? Your making it sound so clinical. Sorry but to say mdma is only for therapy and not to be enjoyed is a pile of poo! Sounds quite snobbish. Works a treat at raves and clubs, or are you anti raving ?

For me weed is boring and makes me paranoid just not for me, used to be addicted to it as well, rarely smoke it now. Just isnt fun to me. And also some people dont have the time for full blown aya journeys reguarly, real life can get in the way for some.

Seen someone post here the other day and they said it just suits them that it has such a short duration and dietry restrictions dont apply.
 
Sorry bout the bad trip man. Most psychedelics eventually will give one a kick in the butt though. Would recommend sticking away from the other drugs before dosing. Despite the 5-HTP your chemicals were probably a bit off from the MDMA.

MDMA is a beautiful experience but yea for SWIM its tough on the body. Either way there is no "real" way to do DMT. Just because people developed in one way ayahuasca there are many different types of ayahuasca and there is no shame in using pure chemicals. A plant is a butt load of chemicals and a chemical is a chemical.
 
hey...give him a break! its not like any of you never had bad experiences before...who can really say why it happened...SWIM has had weird experiences before..so what...dont lecture somebody on their method or how they did it...who are you to tell somebody what they had done is wrong? or a 'spiritual sin'? i feel like you guys need to relax a little bit and take everything with a grain of salt...if you get too worked up about any of this it will make you go crazy...


just be calm everybody...he didnt write this up to be judged in his methods...personally i feel like this was just one experience that he had to go through...in my eyes...it seems like its getting him ready for a GREAT experience...why go through hell? so you can appreciate heaven.

SWIM has taken spice on many other psychoactives...sometimes its weird...sometimes its very rewarding...

we are explorers of a 'new' realm in human(new society) consciousness...we are mapping the way...nobody can give a completely true reason why he had a bad experience...it just IS...dont jump all over people for trying to share it...because next time he may think twice about consulting the rest of us...when in fact it could really help

we are all on our OWN paths..it would be stupid to do everything the exact way somebody else did...thats not learning...thats not exploring...

the only advice i can give is...when it gets weird...look at it from outside of yourself...try to see the lessons in your experience...it may not be clear now...but soon you may understand the reason for it..

do not be afraid of the spice...it just teaches lessons like nothing else and sometimes it takes a while to understand what the lesson is actually teaching
 
to each his own. i have taken MDMA twice as well. it was pure MDMA from a hospital which was doing tests with it. a friend of mine had the keys to it and stole some for me :)

i is really nice to have a good talk and such.. but it always felt kind of fake to me. somehow my body tells me what it wants and what it doesnt want. MDMA is a thing it doesnt want.

i used to go to a lot of psychedelic trance parties when i was younger but the community grew too big for my opinion. back in the days there were mostly hippie folks and peaceful people usually using mushrooms and such. nowadays when i go to a party like that i feel coke and mdma are the centerpiece of it, not psychedelics.

a psytrance party without the psychedelics is just not what it used to be. also the music has become somewhat aggressive to what it was back in the old days. i think this must also be coming from the change in drug habits. i like to go to the secret parties which are announced like 2 days before they start. those parties are usually full of the good old folks i used to party with back then. thats what i call fun. i just can't stand coked up people.

i found 17g of REALLY good coke once.. i was on mushrooms. i broke off a little piece and gave it to a friend who knows the good stuff from peru. he told me that this was AWESOME uncut stuff. then i told him that i had 17g of it back at the car and that i had found it in the parking lot.

i broke off a big ass solid piece for him as a present. then i went on my way (having it in my pocket).. i gave it to a lot of people that night. being on mushrooms i could see the inner animal of the people. they got soooo greedy when they saw the stuff. women would have done ANYTHING for it.. and when i mean anything i mean ANYTHING!!! all those coke people seemed so disgusting to me on that mushroom trip. I gave it all away the same night i had found it. i never used any coke ever and i also will never use it. i won't even let people bring it in my appartment. i got some friends who do it sometimes and they respect my opinion, because they know how greedy it makes them.

just thought i'd bring that story to you folks.

to each his own.. - thats why i gave it away! it would have felt wrong to make money off something which i found. haha.. that dude who lost it must have been REALLY MAD!
 
He must have been. Know what your saying aout mdma being kind of false in comparison to other psychedelics, still I enjoy it when I can get it.

Coke is total shit pure ego drug, me me me. Ive had people coked out their head lecturing me on the dangers of psychedelics and how itll fuk my head up blah blah blah in between yet anohter line :roll: Its like look at yourself mate, these people are scared of psychedelics because what they would see is themselves and they wouldnt like it. Though on occasion I have endulged :oops:
 
all the people who love tryptamines which I know of usually tend to hate MDMA and all those other partydrugs. They provide no real insight. MDMA is only truly good for use in psychotherapy. Also it is very good for strengthening relationships between two people who already have come to love eachother. MDMA is like medicine I think. Its only for therapy use and NOT for enjoyment purposes.
Click to expand...

So very true. My wife and I occasionally use bk-MDxx's for strengthening our relationship...like after our son was born, we hadn't been able to be intimate for many, many, many, many (did I say many) months. We had two very special and very close experiences using these substances.

As to the bad experience, set and settting, set and setting, set and setting. Videotaping....not to judge too hard, but seriously, why???? Feelling you have to get it all down, not good. Worries about money, never good.

The best voyages for me have ALWAYS come after a short ritualized calming period. White sage, 10-20 minutes of meditation or didgeridoo playing, and then laying down, with everything ready. Worries need to be gone from the mind...sure a little anxiety is normal, but worrying about mundane life when stepping through the portal to deep within the mind (or a spiritual dimension if you like) is bad jou-jou!

If one reads a large amount of bad DMT trip reports a common theme can be found. Bad set, bad setting, or panic.
 
thanks for the replies guys & the backup(jorkest!).. i wasnt planning on breaking through, just taking a small hit to get some minor visuals..

& im not unexperienced with the spice, this will be my 3rd gram this year, ive smoked the stuff every day sometimes(about once) sometimes i feel i don't need it.. but yeah i like it cause its quick & an easy psy fix.

& i meant by not wasting money, that i didnt want the spice to just leave the pipe, cuz after i get it lit up sometimes more smoke keeps coming after ive already gotten enough.. i was basically just trying to clear the pipe like ive been taught smoking pot.

I felt so good from the MDMA that i figured it would show me some posotive insight..
Like JORKEST said we are explorers..

& yes i kinda felt like then (around my cousin) wasnt right, but i said all well ill just take a small toke..
& he brought up video taping, cause ive actually never been able to see what movements i make, or try to talk about what was happening at that point in time..
I thought after that maybe the spirits didnt like the camera being around, or my cousin.. like another time when i tryed drawing them with a sketch pad by my bed, then would dissapear as i started to draw & then i would stop & they would come back laughing..

It seemed like the joke was on me this time, totall hell & i remember lots of laughing & mockery..
Like this time it was all about fucking with my head, i couldnt let go, it was like they chose to visit my mind & terrify it.

My feelings on & about mdma are nothing but great, never noticed anything bad about it till now.. im planning on taking some for halloween.

It was also weird cuz the morning after the mdma i smoked a lot less than the second night of mdma(did it twice this week) that morning the spice was normal, i felt a being there holding a chart saying oh he took mdma, well we don't want to mess up your progress & then they returned me to baseline..

later that night i took mdma again, no come down, felt fine the next day..
that day was the night that i smoked & video taped..

I remember opening my eyes wanting to get out, almost feeling like getting up & panicing like it was reall.. then i was like nah im just gonna die, but then i didnt i slowly came out of it

I got the feeling like dmt was just taking away the mdma feeling of love & replacing it with a new attitude, weird, alein afterglow..

I hope Jorkest is right about Heaven & hell, u gotta have hell first thats for sure, or how do you really appreciate the good? sometimes we take things for granted..

I just hope that halloween is a night to remember & the mdma work out like planned =D

Happy Trips people! & i hope i help(ed) someone out there!!
 
cheech said:
it is also a fact that MDMA is total crap for your system as well as your soul. real happiness comes from within. from true insight. MDMA is just like alcohol in my opinion. it makes you feel really happy for a short time and then you feel like crap.
Click to expand...

Never felt like crap on mdma alone, or after it was over.
I think all drugs can give insight, i guess its what you choose to believe or apply to your real life.
all drugs make you feel something, give an insight, or provoke thoughts..

My question is alcohol a haullucination? it makes you feel relaxed...
 
one time SWIM and his friend were just kinda chillin out...thinking about adventuring to the Otherside...for some reason SWIM was being held back...he had some pretty cool experiences that day...one where doors and windows opened up in every surface of his house..with little dudes sticking their heads out saying come visit...so he closed his eyes..and was inside their place..except everything was frozen...like a hyperdimensional picture...SWIM was floating through it...he saw a baby floating like 5 feet up in the air...there were things on the coffee tables..and books on the book shelf..it was strange...

now after that..he didnt really feel like doing it anymore..hes like..."i guess i have had enough for the night" and his friend was like..well there is only a little left..we might as well finish it...and SWIM was like...meeh...he didnt want to do it...but said fuck it and did it anyway...

SWIM's friend was giggling the whole time...while SWIM saw skeletons crawling over the walls(the othersides walls)...with black flesh dripping off of them...they were moving really slow and looking at him...then he saw people in these strange suits dragging dead shriveled bodies into piles...

he thought.."well, i guess ive had enough of that" so he opened his eyes and decided to push down the trip and wait for it to fully end...

the whole time his friend is giggling like an idiot:p and he decided to wait until she explain her trip before SWIM told her his story...he didnt want to ruin hers..you know

it was pretty fucked up from what i hear...but it really wasnt too bad...it was just like watching a stupid horror flick...totally detatched from actually being scared...



so then...before this...months and months...he had an experience where he fell into the room..and the beings there(two of them, a male and female) asked him to stay and basically be their 'son' ...they showed him how they would do this...haha A HUGE BOWL OF SPICE...like something you would put a big salad in...except the massive salad was just spice...SWIM would have had to eat it forever to stay...it was fairly tempting of course...but he started thinking of all the important things in his life...

he thought of his family...and not exactly biological..but his friends..like family....and he thought of is siblings..he saw the things he was connected to...and why he had to stay in this physical world for a little bit more...

so he forced himself out of the otherside...basically just opened his eyes really wide...even though it was hard as hell...stood up and just walked around..and think about what just happened..he was outside so there was plenty of stimuli...

funny thing is...another SWIM was there...going in...and said that the one walking around was blinking in and out of both realities..while he was walking around...it was kind of a scary experience..but it also showed him sooo much about his life out here..

after this..he realized that no matter how far he went in..he could still remember who he was..and what he came HERE to do...

after this...and coming back...he realized that you must make agreements with the otherside...you are the one that chooses what you see...but if you dont define it well...its going to throw you a curve ball...

spice is like the genie in a bottle...make your wishes very carefully...because otherwise you are giving it permission to take over...sometimes this is good...but you only get lucky so many times:)
 
So when you said leftovers you meant what was left in the pipe from a prior voyage!!!

Ah-HA!

That explains it for me.

The leftovers are so damn unpredictable.... sometimes they are just stronger than normal...sometimes they are very weak..but sometimes they thow me into such a uncomfortable place. I always clean out my pipe now inbetween voyages. I always weigh out my doses and try and make sure I get ever last bit of it. That way there are no substantial "leftovers".

I've had experiences where I don't clean out my pipe and load a new one up...same deal, once the smoke starts getting seriously harsh is when all hell starts breaking loose!

Does anyone know what the beta-carboline would be formed from heat degraded DMT?

Oh and for me at least, the few days following MDMA there is a massive tolerance to spice....not sure why that is not true for you?
 
SWIM took some mdma one night at a friends..and after awhile he decided to go home...just chillin out rolling...he decided to smoke some spice...it worked about 2 times..and then after that...he kept taking more and more..and nothing at all would happen..he gave up at this point because he noticed he was starting to waste it...

interesting to hear something similar to what acolon wrote
 
acolon_5 said:
So when you said leftovers you meant what was left in the pipe from a prior voyage!!!

Ah-HA!

That explains it for me.

The leftovers are so damn unpredictable.... sometimes they are just stronger than normal...sometimes they are very weak..but sometimes they thow me into such a uncomfortable place. I always clean out my pipe now inbetween voyages. I always weigh out my doses and try and make sure I get ever last bit of it. That way there are no substantial "leftovers".

I've had experiences where I don't clean out my pipe and load a new one up...same deal, once the smoke starts getting seriously harsh is when all hell starts breaking loose!

Does anyone know what the beta-carboline would be formed from heat degraded DMT?

Oh and for me at least, the few days following MDMA there is a massive tolerance to spice....not sure why that is not true for you?
Click to expand...

yea especially since i did mdma two days in a row & smoked spice both days(but not while on mdma)

I loaded enough spice so i would have leftovers.. but damm weve had this spice resin talk before...but not really a leftover talk.
The spice was very harsh, no smoke was blown out, i took like 6 normal tokes(i can since im a big smoker) oh and i held it long.

Yea thats the closest as i can describe it to my last bad trip, when i scrapped my pipe for black spice resin. only this one was more hellish, i got a bigger hit, and it just wouldnt let up.

The spice i always get is the orange-yellow powder crystals..

But damm yea that makes sense thanks man, i'll never load more than i intend on smoking.

Thanks alot for the help guys i really appreciate it.

So ive leatned what not to do from this trip, but what else can/should i learn?

was this meant to be shown to me by the spice realm or was it just the leftover spice making little changes in the structure, enough to make me go crazy?

or were they trying to tell me that im living wrong?

i always try to be my nicest to everyone, & always give give give, ive had my share of bad karma & im wondering if its trying to tell me something or just keep me on the right path to good, by scarring me?

so in conclusion, i didnt have much respect by video taping, and no respect for my body or mind by using right after mdma,s i should of listened to that voice inside that wasnt too sure about it. it just puzzles me cause i was in a pretty damm good setting/mood.
 
well...SWIM has had experiences...quite a few...where he is just being poked really hard and laughed at by all sorts of creatures and beings...it was like...wtf!? but you know...you are gonna get a few weird trips when you use a thing like this...it just happens..

the farther you go...the weirder it gets...
 
Back
Top Bottom