TGO
Music is alive and in your soul. It can move you.
Mystical Mushroom Entities and Sexuality
Hello fellow Nexians, earlier today my GF and I embarked upon a profound mushroom journey together. We have steadily increased our dosage over the past few weeks and interestingly enough, my GF had a full blown immersive "ayahuasca style" breakthrough. My personal experience was not as intense, even though my dose was higher, I think it was important for me to be in that state as I tried to guide her through.
She had ingested the "Terence McKenna sweetspot" of 5g dried homegrown golden teachers. I took 6 as I was trying to dig deep. I was going to write this as an experience report but what I am about to write is from what she told me, and it is not my experience, more of a general speculation I suppose. (Never mind, I think I will post this in the mushroom section after all)...
About two hours in, she went to the bathroom, and when she came out of there she reported the initial meeting with 4 childlike beings who wanted maternal comfort from her as they hugged and kissed her. She later reported that she felt as if they may have been young, lost beings who were finding comfort and solace from the energy she was emitting. She invited them to come play in the bedroom if they wanted. She asked me if that was okay to which I replied, "any cosmic being can do as they please, they do not need my permission to enter..." It was sort of in a joking way, a cosmic giggle, but I am pretty sure they heard me...whatever that means...
At some point, she asked me to load the bong with weed and I happily obliged. However, the weed kicked it up a notch..okay, like over 9000 notches. This is the point where she told me the entities were numerous and appeared ancient, yet relevant and important. As if these beings did exist in a sort of hierarchy and their symbolism with clothes and jewelry was important yet hard to focus on. She mentioned that one Entity in particular said that he was always with her and always will be. She cannot have a thought without their knowledge. They are here, and they know.
My GF is very in tune with her sexuality and I and told her before we tripped that we could of course make love, but that I wanted to wait until after the peak because to be honest, mushrooms give me immense stamina but also don't allow me to finish sometimes. I am not trying to be graphic or anything but it is relevant. I think she mistook my statement to mean that I didn't want to make love, which isn't the case in the slightest, but that thought got wrapped up in her head. Here is why this is important:
After hitting the weed a few times, she essentially described witnessing an Entity orgy of sorts unfolding before her eyes...quote "no penetration but they were all embracing and getting hot and heavy if you know what I mean... they told me that I could 'come' with them, literally, and I told them okay...it then felt like the most dominant of the beings entered me, entered my entire perception as if I wasn't me anymore...it felt like I was having the sensations of sex while the entity said 'this is what you get then, ha!'"
Then she said something to me that struck me as a little odd and a little off putting...while she was fully immersed, she told me that since I wasn't having sex with her that the entities were taking advantage of the situation and giving her what she wanted... I guess my next feelings could only be described as jealousy...I know, I know, it is stupid for feeling jealousy towards cosmic beings but nonetheless it threw me for a loop (the weed didn't help with the thought process, for the record).
She was so heavily intoxicated and in a trance-like state that I was unsure of how to proceed. We have a very active and healthy sex life, but I didn't want to push myself on her and have it become overwhelming...well, more overwhelming. "they're everywhere babe, all around me, touching me, inside of me, doing things to my brain that makes me feel insane, I can't understand...oh my, oh my, oh my.... hold me babe, hold me..."
So I held her, her beautiful body against mine, naked and pure. It was arousing to say the least and I couldn't help myself. She welcomed my advances after I had a should I shouldn't I battle with myself. I won't go into it because I am a bit of a prude when it comes to discussing the actual beautiful, nitty gritty act, but the only word to describe the next hour would be tantric. I don't know, it was fantastic though.
I honestly think I was just grossly over thinking the whole situation. She was having a sexual experience, and I was the one having trouble wrapping my head around it. I've only read about those kind of experiences, but like I said, we have a strong and regular sex life and have had tantric moments on mushrooms before, so perhaps there were some expectations that were not being met at first.
I hope this doesn't get misconstrued in any way, it was an amazing experience, albeit strange and a little confusing but not disappointing. All resolved itself and when it wasn't as intense anymore we discussed these things and I expressed my thoughts and concerns. She seemed to understand and vice versa, so mission accomplished, hehe.
I also found it funny that I mentioned in another thread recently about her not really breaking through fully with DMT, yet today, she broke through on mushrooms on an epic, sexual and mystical level easily comparable to a DMT experience. Funny how things happen sometimes.
So, as a final thought, I just wanted to express my thoughts to get some more perspectives. Was I wrong for feeling the way I did? I also found myself wondering why I didn't break through but chalked that up to needing to be present enough to hold and help her as she was submerged and incapacitated. Anyway, it is late and I'm tired and I hope I've made whatever point it was that I was trying to make...peace and love to all of you!
