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Need help overcoming paranoia with short background story

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HumbleTraveler

HumbleTraveler

Rising Star
So some of you may recall my report quite some time ago (maybe a year, this being after a bunch of very outstanding experiences with 15mg or so in 2-3 hits) of when I took a whole dose of 20mg in a GVG in one fast deep breath and my room turned to a plastic minecraft environment and I was void of death and void of life for more minutes than I would have liked! Ive been awfully hesitant to really go back in despite telling myself theres nothing to worry about, I know to just not fight what happens, etc etc.

Anyway...visited a state where marijuana was legal to purchase back about 8 months ago. On vacation there with my gf for hiking/biking, neither of us are smokers. We decided to purchase some from a dispensary because why not. I had never smoked weed before, she had once or twice that was all. In the bathroom of our hotel room, she takes about a hit or two from the bowl and heads over to finish doing her hair, which leaves this good size chunk still about the size of a big pistachio. So, me being the 100% novice thinks hmm, Ill just finish the bowl. I took probably 25 hits without really thinking about what I was doing. I was like this is weird, it doesnt even feel like its working.

I was already kind of concerned about doing this in our hotel room just because I didnt want the whole room stinking up (I did it in the bathroom) and suddenly I feel flat, strange, and void of emotion. From that point on, I spent the next 2 hours shaking in bed with the most awful and frightening paranoia imaginable. It was coming in intense waves. I thought the weed was laced with something very bad, it just felt like pure evil and hell the whole time.

Flash forward to now, if I try to vaporize some spice to get back into that, on the comeup I will have that same panic stricken paranoia feeling where Ill just jump up from siting or laying down and pace around hoping it stops, then it just gets worse. Ive tried to calm myself and I KNOW not to fight the feeling and just stay calm and go with the intensity and I know what Im about to get into, but my body goes into flight mode and I have no real ability to prevent myself from feeling this panic.

Today specifically, I ate a gram...a gram...of cubes (in which I never had a full on trip of either) just to get some floatyness, after 20 minutes BAM paranoia out of nowhere and Im panicking to get whatever Id swallowed out of me. I forced myself to puke, which Ive never done before; it was extremely difficult haha. Upon trying to calm myself, the intensity of the feeling was coming in waves and I couldnt keep calm and ground myself.

So, Im left in this stalemate of panic and paranoia when I ingest things which Im attempting to utilize their healing and restorative properties. I cant even get going into it! I need something here that I can help overcome this, whether its meditation, yoga, anything. I just want to get back into the boat and explore the seas of the human experience again and come out the other side with something beneficial. After my first few great spice trips I was much calmer, kinder, compassionate and helpful. Day to day life in the rat race slowly eroded all of that though and I can be pretty short fused, grumpy and brash some times.
 
All I can say from my own opinion. Take with a gigantic grain of salt.

I'd say you should go sober for a while. From everything. Try meditation. I firmly believe that paranoia caused by psychs means that the individual has a tendency to be paranoid in the first place. Any substance will just magnify the pre-existing tendency. The only reason I say this is from personal experience and from talking with others. There is no scientific literature to back me up, (or at least, none that I know of). Do you feel anxious or paranoid in general? If so, is there anything you implement to calm you down?

I would practice mindfulness. You mention that the daily rat-race has eroded you into a negative person at times. Self improvement is a godsend in this instance. Not only will it make you immune to the bullshit of society, but you will also be unfazed by other people's negativity. Negativity is like a disease, and through mental conditioning, you can be immune to it.

Practice your breathing. A lot of people don't breathe correctly in general. Also, this might be a bit controversial, but I'd say to smoke ganja again, but at lower quantities. Just to get a feel for it, and overcome your paranoia. 25 hits from a bowl? From a bong? That seems like a lot to finish a pistachio sized nugget. I normally finish an entire bowl in one controlled lungful. If you do take my advice and smoke again, remember that set and setting apply here as well. Do it at home. Have a trip sitter, if you're worried. Set up some incense, load up some good songs, have some fruit and water nearby and just relax. Grind the herbs thoroughly, almost like a powder. I use a herb grinder, or a pizza cutter (not the wheel ones). If things get uncomfortable, something as subtle as changing the song or moving to another room may make you feel a lot better.

This is all coming from a very, VERY non-paranoid person, so I have no idea what it's like. I've never had a bad trip with any psychedelics. I could easily be the worst person to give advice here.
 
25 hits right in a row without tolerance (or in many cases even with) could throw almost anyone into a horrific paranoid trip, even if they've smoked weed thousands of times.

Bodhisativa has some good advice. I would work on grounding.

If you do decide to use cannabis again like he describes, just take tiny hits, each spaced very far apart, to ease into it. Music can also help a ton IME. You might just get paranoid, or you might learn something about it and heal your conditioned paranoia response to it. It could go any number of ways. Harmalas also help smooth out the edginess/paranoia of weed for many of us. For me, the paranoia to some degree is just the filters falling away and my response to getting hit in the face with issues, things I need to work on, hangups, etc., but to some degree it can also get very blown out of proportion and snowball into a more delusional kind of paranoia/anxiety.

A long time ago I used to mix cannabis with DMT (we used it to sandwich freebase). My cannabis anxiety then became a conditioned response to smoking DMT, even if cannabis wasn't involved. It's not always easy but you can break that response, and learn a lot from it. Low doses of changa with harmalas and yoga and music were key for this in my experience. There is lots of ways to melt that barrier of fear and you have to find one that works for you.

Depending on how paranoid you are and the overall situation/person you might want to just take a break for a while and focus on the obvious, such as: yoga, meditation, exercise, lots of water, healthy food, time in nature, reading/writing, creative outlets, etc.

Also give this a try
[YOUTUBE]
 
I am sorry to hear about your paranoid experiences. I know it can be rough when such feelings start to bleed into other trips, and it really starts to feel like the substances we hold so dear do not offer the solutions we like them to.

A similar problem happened to me with LSD a while back. My third acid trip involved a ton of paranoia and a huge realization of how unimportant, generic, and not-very-good my life really was. These intense feelings eventually bled into my cannabis experiences and even a couple of my DMT trips. I felt like I was trapped in that no matter what drug I did, I knew that these negative feelings were going to invade the journey.

The partial solution that I found to be helpful for me was working out the root of my paranoia in an intellectual way. I like to attack problems methodically, so I looked at specifically what was causing me grief. The following were some of the culprits:

-Generic-ness of my life, family, home, and upbringing
-Realization of total meaninglessness of my and everyone else's lives
-Fear of death and having to work my whole life in the face of meaninglessness
-Personal, communal, societal, and planetary loneliness

So I proceeded to come to terms with these problems using rational, sober thinking as well as post-trip integration and reflection. I realized that I have to make my life special, that I have to be and make the change I want to see in the world, that I have to establish my own moral code for what I think is right, and that no one can escape death and meaninglessness and that we all must value what we have, especially interpersonal relationships.

It took a few years filled with thought, trips, depression, integration, etc. to come up with these solutions that are still kind of shaky, but at least I can do LSD, DMT, and small amounts of weed again without having to face such paranoia.

So my advice to you is to attack the root of your problems. I feel like most people's paranoia does not just "pop into your life out of nowhere;" rather, it is caused by deep-seated emotional or mental problems/trauma/unsolved issues that you need to identify, accept, face, and get over. My personal method is to use intellectualism to solve these issues, and I think its methodical nature may be of service to you too.
 
Thank you for your input! Looking back on the experience I had with weed I laugh now, but there are a few additional things I should mention here that are useful.

I do not regularly partake in any sort of mind altering substance use, I dont even drink alcohol. At this point, I havent touched spice in 4 or 5 months, I have one cup of coffee a day and thats the bulk of my drug use. I eat very healthy, drink plenty of water per day and avoid processed foods and artificial garbage almost entirely. I play hockey on 3 teams and I mountain bike local trails typically 15-60 miles a week, I live a very active lifestyle. I enjoy exploring and going new places, seeing new things. Anxious perhaps at times, I try to spend as much time outdoors as I really feel always better after being in the forest somewhere. I do not consider myself a paranoid or fearful person!

I feel like my paranoia is simply triggered when I have a psychedelic because I feel like its going to do what the weed did and just take over in an aggressive manner, if that makes sense.

Id defintitely try meditation but I feel like I never know where to start since there are so many different methods and techniques, I dont know what would be best for me.

I really dont know so much about trying weed again. I swore I never would haha, but I mean I suppose I wouldnt rule it out. I kinda feel like its just not what Im looking for. Like RAM, I feel/felt many of those bulleted points as well but deal with them the best I can. I strongly dislike the way the world is and how it functions and I find that it gets me down often, but after 5 minutes Im fine and continue on about my day.

I definitely dont think I am a person who wont benefit from psych use and I definitely dont want to stop. Im of the belief that we're here alongside these substances and they have things to show us, and I want to be shown what I can by them. Im not even using them necessarily for them to do a specific thing for me, moreso just go along for the ride and take from it what I can and if I come out the other side with it having had a long term therapeutic effect then thats fantastic.
 
HumbleTraveler said:
I do not regularly partake in any sort of mind altering substance use, I dont even drink alcohol.
Click to expand...
Very good, best mindset to start meditation.

HumbleTraveler said:
Id defintitely try meditation but I feel like I never know where to start since there are so many different methods and techniques, I dont know what would be best for me.
Click to expand...

Keep it simple, all roads lead to Rome. Just take the road that resonates the most with you. What's important is that you actually start taking the road. Plain sitting on a chair, half lotus, full lotus, doesn't matter. No mantra or a mantra, doesn't matter. Focus on breathing doesn't matter, as long as it serves you. Just mix and experiment. Join a group if you like, but don't pay excess money, since meditation is free.

Best meditation talk imo (min 3:00-30:00) worth the listening, saves you hours of crap talk:

(don't let the drug talk discourage you, he's against any meditation tool dependency in the long run, be it a technique, a favorite meditation spot or a drug "to get you there".)

As for the paranoia with psychedelics, I suggest Benzodiazepines if you can't overcome the fear. Look up the Nexus, there's plenty of material about it.
 
my take on dis

assuming you had a rather normal life, no overly traumatic stuff happening, abuse or similar


what happened to you in a nutshell:
the paranoia experience you had is due to THC overdose, magnifying and distorting some past experiences into something they are not

due to the deepened state you were in this paranoia somehow became "stuck" in your unconscious "field"

one could say, a small traumatic experience, a drug induced psychological pickle, an imprint

whatever we call it, once you want to get deeper with other substances you face this paranoia again

and it is a senseless drain..



solutions:
there may be many methods to clean this one up but we want to keep it simple

simply.. get yourself some CBD drops , CBD is an antidote to THC overdose & a soft antianxiolytic.

Use about 5-10 drops of 4-5% strenght CBD oil with either marihuana or other substances, alternatively meditation or hypnosis, whatever you like to go beyond/below the surface of your conscious layer.. whatever "soft" method usually brings the traumatic paranoia back to the surface

the "fear" will have another "quality" to it, face it, feel it, it will recalibrate by itself
it will lose its charge, either at once or gradually through several such experiences

what you aim for is to "touch" the paranoia with CBD assistance, the rest is mechanics in this case


this should be the simplest method to assist you going back to your normal vibratory state




a report back would be nice..
 
I know for me personally, anytime i've taken long breaks from cannabis then decide to go back, if I smoke/vape too much too quickly it can get extremely overwhelming. Time goes completely still, into this impartial observance with reality beginning to skip like photos on a projector slide, not to mention how overwhelmingly crazy the body sensations can become (to the point where boundaries slide away between you, your body and everyday reality fully).

And this is coming from someone that's smoked/vaped for 12 or so years (not insanely long compared to some). Wrecking the tolerance, or having no tolerance to begin with (having never smoked) then quickly jumping into cannabis and continually smoking back to back in quick succession within a short period can be asking for a not-so-good time. :D
 
Thank you everyone for the words so far.

I may even just try to meditate using some of the isochronic tones on youtube, I enjoy those a lot. I definitely do not want to touch any pharma meds like benzos, Im sure this can be done the hard way :? 😁
Ufostrahlen said:
Very good, best mindset to start meditation.


Best meditation talk imo (min 3:00-30:00) worth the listening, saves you hours of crap talk:

(don't let the drug talk discourage you, he's against any meditation tool dependency in the long run, be it a technique, a favorite meditation spot or a drug "to get you there".)

As for the paranoia with psychedelics, I suggest Benzodiazepines if you can't overcome the fear. Look up the Nexus, there's plenty of material about it.
Click to expand...

bindu said:
my take on dis

assuming you had a rather normal life, no overly traumatic stuff happening, abuse or similar
what happened to you in a nutshell:
the paranoia experience you had is due to THC overdose, magnifying and distorting some past experiences into something they are not

due to the deepened state you were in this paranoia somehow became "stuck" in your unconscious "field"

one could say, a small traumatic experience, a drug induced psychological pickle, an imprint

whatever we call it, once you want to get deeper with other substances you face this paranoia again

and it is a senseless drain..

solutions:
there may be many methods to clean this one up but we want to keep it simple

simply.. get yourself some CBD drops , CBD is an antidote to THC overdose & a soft antianxiolytic.

Use about 5-10 drops of 4-5% strenght CBD oil with either marihuana or other substances, alternatively meditation or hypnosis, whatever you like to go beyond/below the surface of your conscious layer.. whatever "soft" method usually brings the traumatic paranoia back to the surface

the "fear" will have another "quality" to it, face it, feel it, it will recalibrate by itself
it will lose its charge, either at once or gradually through several such experiences

what you aim for is to "touch" the paranoia with CBD assistance, the rest is mechanics in this case


this should be the simplest method to assist you going back to your normal vibratory state

a report back would be nice..
Click to expand...

Yes for sure on the THC overdose, I read just the other day that the legal weed has tested to have on average 3x higher THC rates than most "normal" non store bought weed and next to 0 CBD. And I have had no tramuatic life experiences occur.

Oddly enough, and important here too, I just recently was laid off from my job about a week ago. So that has certainly not helped my mindset, but, that hyper panic paranoia has hit me a few times here and there throughout the day without any substances in the mix whatsoever, it happened the first time about 2 days after posting my original post. I cant explain that. It has happened maybe 2 times in 6 days Id say and only lasted for maybe 10 seconds. But its the identical physical feeling as well as mental feeling. Its very distressing until I can slap myself out of it. I think it may be because Ive been thinking a lot about this issue in particular lately so I kinda made it happen to myself by mistake.

Tattvamasi said:
I know for me personally, anytime i've taken long breaks from cannabis then decide to go back, if I smoke/vape too much too quickly it can get extremely overwhelming. Time goes completely still, into this impartial observance with reality beginning to skip like photos on a projector slide, not to mention how overwhelmingly crazy the body sensations can become (to the point where boundaries slide away between you, your body and everyday reality fully).

And this is coming from someone that's smoked/vaped for 12 or so years (not insanely long compared to some). Wrecking the tolerance, or having no tolerance to begin with (having never smoked) then quickly jumping into cannabis and continually smoking back to back in quick succession within a short period can be asking for a not-so-good time. :D
Click to expand...

The physical feeling IMO is what makes me freak out a little bit more! Its like...how in the hell is this mental thought/situation ACTUALLY provoking a physical feeling. Like my face goes tingly numb and I start to feel light headed and my heart rate spikes. Thats what gets me is its like something is taking over my own system and thats what bugs me out.
 
Youve experienced 'the fear' many of us get it despite a lengthy relationship with the plant.
Ive had experiences where I thought my throat was closing up and I was going to suffocate (once like you said , I thought it was spiked, some of these underground hydro strains taste terrible and feel harsh maybe due to not getting flushed properly).
Sometimes I believe it is related to responsibility sometimes unconcious fears, societal conditioning (prohibition or the media) sometimes just the balance it tips in the brain. Some of my friends found they reached a turning point with it in that evrytime they smoke they would get paranoid or anxious.
I would seek out an indica dominant milder strain if you want to get back into it and start small. Charas/nepalese temple ball is a good one that for me had great soothing and healing powers after a traumatic period in my life. I think many people see weed as weed and dont recognise the different strains and variety of effect they have. An effect of prohibition I think.
If you are able to get a med-high CBD strain/hash even better.
 
Hey!

I would also suggest using a CBD rich strain such as AC/DC or Harlequin if you want to work with cannabis again.

There are some herbs can can work very very well in acute panic/paranoia situations that I suggest you look into and carry around with you as a quickie calm down. The 2 best ones that I know of are Anenome (Anenome occidentalis) and Pacific Bleeding Heart (Dicentra formosa). Both of these plants, especially in tincture form, can be so amazingly helpful to bring a person back to ground when they are getting into freak out land.

The classic description of the state that Anemone can be helpful for is "a train is bearing down on me and I cannot escape".

Now, both of these herbs are low-dose botanicals, and it is important to start with a very small dose (like 1 drop of the tincture) and then work your way up to whatever is a good dose with you. You should not need more than about 10 drops of Anemone or 30 drops of Bleeding Heart.

Some people are very sensitive to these plants and can become uncomfortably sedated from them, not to the point of any real physical danger, but kinda freaky.

I would also strongly suggest taking some herbs that are tonifying and grounding to the nervous system. The very best that I know of is Milky Oat tincture (Avena sativa). It is important that you use tincture of the fresh tops in the milky stage, not just oatstraw. Milky Oats are well known as a trophorestorative to the nervous system, and are very calming and grounding.

Other plants that could be helpful as nervous system tonics/nervines include Skullcap (Scuttelaria spp), Hawthorne (Crataegus monogyna), and Reishi (Ganoderma lucidum). These are all more on the tonic side of things to be taken daily over time. They are grounding & soothing.

Please don't start taking benzos! They are so very addictive and cause more harm then good over the long term in many cases. Of course benzos have saved lives and are useful tools in certain situations but I know too many people who are so strung out on them due to getting an rx for anxiety & never really being able to get off them.
 
i smoke alot of pot.
and i like alot of fear.
its what keeps me sharp.

cannabis fear, has saved me soooooo many times.
i consider it like radar.

over the yrs, other girls with my same job have been shot and shot at.
not me..........i see it coming and make like a weed crazed rabbit.
thank you cannabis:love:

ya never know when your gonna be pinned down under fire.
stay stoned, cut the risk.
 
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