Need some help with my recent trips and a message in the last one

[Rush56]

Hi everyone.

So i've been experimenting since around June last year. Started off with low doses around 20mg, working way up.. After few months I felt like I might be ready for breakthrough. Did few doses above 40mg, it got pretty chaotic and higher I went, the less I remembered and at some point I even forgot I just vaped dmt. After all that I didn't have enough balls and because I was not in best psychological state I decided to back down for some time, like maybe it is not the right time to go full in.

For the past 2 months i also have a problem, that i do not get any visuals when i vape the first dose, like i'd been locked out. When it first happened, even though there was nothing to see i kept my eyes closed wondering why is that. And it was like something had let me know they are working on it and the next dose i will get them.. It was so assuring that i was 100% i will have visuals after another dose.. And i did.. But ever since for past 2 months it is repeating.. First dose nothing, second dose 15 minutes later it works and it's pretty strong.

Never really had a breakthrough yet, but I enjoyed sub breakthrough experiences.

I figured i build up some tolerance if I did it each weekend, but not at weekdays.

I haven't touched it now for 3 weeks till yesterday. Same thing happenes. First dose nothing, then when I came down I vaped another one which got me deeper then I intended to go. Only loaded around 34mg and it felt the closest i have ever been to breakthrough. Although i can't say it was it.. At least not the way people describe it.

When the visuals stopped i was somewhere, i can't remember enough to describe, there was not much to see anyway, but i got a few messages. I only can remember one message and that was:
Stop pushing it here, there is nothing here.
And it was like the message was not meant only for me.. It was like "Stop trying you all to get here, as there is nothing here".

What would that mean? I really like exploring and it really makes me sad why would I get that message. And i just started exploring it.. I don't believe there is nothing there..

Will I be calling for hyperslap if I try to go in again after a week or so?

 

[Seeingisbelieving]

It helps to know where your intentions are regarding the experience. You have your own reasons for exploring the substance and what the molecule unlocks for you to find is entirely up to you, and nature of course. Your imagination in its entirety is able to be channeled and artificial realities can be created in your image. This is where you are getting into religious territory because what you are doing is creating realities with your own mind.

The amount of work you can do with dmt I believe is inexhaustible in a single lifetime. You can seriously experience anything imaginable and things even beyond imagination. We are all exploring these waters individually and it is hard to see how this experience lies beyond the self unless you have truly went deep. I think further exploration is needed. over.

 

[bismillah]

I think DMT is one of those things that becomes more useful the less you use it. I wouldn't say I got any significant emotional reaction from any of my trips back when I would do it once or twice a week... it was cool and interesting, but the returns diminished exponentially. My most profound experiences invariably come after a long pause and significant forethought.

 

[Tomtegubbe]

When the visuals stopped i was somewhere, i can't remember enough to describe, there was not much to see anyway, but i got a few messages. I only can remember one message and that was:
Stop pushing it here, there is nothing here.
And it was like the message was not meant only for me.. It was like "Stop trying you all to get here, as there is nothing here".

What would that mean? I really like exploring and it really makes me sad why would I get that message. And i just started exploring it.. I don't believe there is nothing there..

There is quote by Alan Watts regarding psychedelic experience: "When you get the message, hang up the phone."

I think DMT can take you deeper if you have a profound intention of getting deeper and going nearer to the source of Everything. My experience is that even then the message is that the real and craziest trip you'll ever experience is the life that you have been given and you should focus on living it to the fullest and cultivating gratitude.

I really recommend taking harmalas too, because they add much depth to the experience and you can go deep in meditation just by using harmalas and train your mind that way.

 

[Rush56]

Thanks for your replays..

I usually do smoke some harmalas prior.. Never taken orally yet.. It does make it easier and more gentle on come up and gets me deeper.

So giving it some time and then going in again would be ok, regarding this message?

I have a feeling that my psychological state plays a role.. Last year I stopped doing smoking pot around the time I started exploring deems and was way happier back then. Since i started again, those trips got darker in some way I would say. That is also a reason i started to make more breaks and decided not to go in too deep with too high dose until i will fix those things and be happier again..
I never smoked the day i went into trips though. I dont think its a good mix.