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Needing therapy

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optyks

Rising Star
Was recently thinking that, since I piles of DMT sitting on my desk, that I should take an attempt to try and resolve some issues through a trip.
I'm afraid that since I've been rather depressed (one of the things I want to resolve/get through in doing this) it will likely make for a terrifying or horrible trip... Ontop of the fact that it already takes a lot of nerve to breakthrough..
Suggestions? Thoughts?
 
It's always hard to give advice to this kind of question, because people here don't know each other's problems well enough, and they're not there to give support directly, and even if they did know, and even if they were there, I don't think anyone anywhere has the expertise to guarantee you that you'll have a positive experience. I think a depressive state certainly increases the chances of having a difficult experience, but it also increases the potential benefits of the process.

Are you eating well? Sleeping well? Getting some regular exercise? Working or studying? Seeing people? I'm a firm believer in adopting a certain 'life hygiene' because I've experienced the benefits of it. If you straighten out some of these things that you know could be straightened out, you'll know that you're doing your part in making sure that life feels ok, and that's a much better place to start a trip from than a place where you feel helpless.
 
I would attempt to improve your vibe as much as possible before attempting any DMT journeying .
Its a catch 22 in the sense that it can improve depression symptoms
but in order to get admission to recieve the healing potencial one must be in a loving open sincere happy framework and mindset.

Entering hyperspace in a depressed mood is just asking for anxiety to spin wildly out of control.

taking care of business in your life is great advice and a great starting point.
try to " fake it till you make it" one of my mottos. try to tell yourself your happy even if you don't believe it at first.
There is an art to this if you give it a try. Gratitude Gratitude gratitude ........

You can try super small dosing as a way to elevate your mood over a period of time.
There is no way to guage the severity of your depression so its difficult to get too specific.

I battle depression and DMT has helped me to manage it without the help of any other medication or drugs.
Its not great all of the time but its better and my downward cycles are shorter.
Caapi and DMT has given me insight and perspective and have allowed me to see things and act in more constructive positive ways.
The negative voice in my head has grown quieter and holds much less weight than it once did.
 
this is just my experience but i dont think dmt is a therapeutic substance like ayahuasca, iboga, and lsd can be. you have no say or control as to were your mind and journey is going to take you. theres no way to choose a theme and there's not always insightful contemplation with the lifted vale of reality. ive never seen dmt as a very introspective trip.

im not saying that nothing good comes from smoked dmt. much inforamtion and clarity of our universe comes through as we all know i just don't see it as therapy. a likely outcome from using breakthrough doses under much strain or heart ache could be a negative type experience. possible really scary.
 
I think I'm close to Shakyu's position, though severe depression will allow no control over these:
shakyu said:
Are you eating well? Sleeping well? Getting some regular exercise? Working or studying? Seeing people?
Click to expand...

If you're depression comes from a rational examination of how you've neglected yourself, then DMT before addressing the neglect will most likely end poorly.

If a malaise has arisen in life, even with authentic engagement, then it could help and provide the extra burst of energy to really address issues you struggle with.

No one, even if they knew you in person, could answer that for you. What the answer is will be there in hyperspace with you, though.
 
I suffered from depression for 20 years. Since spice, I have not. But it was often truly awful, terrifying and unpleasant in hyperspace, and hyperspace can feel eternal.

When I say I don't suffer from depression, it doesn't mean I'm whistling dixie every day, kissing flowers. I have bad days. Shit goes wrong. I get upset, angry, frustrated and even despondent sometimes. But I don't get depressed anymore - the can't-get-out-of-bed-because-you-can't-move variety of depression. I stil have a whole pile iof shit to work out, and a lot of challenges ahead of me, but I would now believe I am better off.

However - each of our circumstances, our perspective are different, and so spice works with what it finds. Despite the wealth of similar, even identical sounding experiences our trips are idiosyncratically our own.

Probably what helped me as much as anything was starting to do yoga on the insistence of spice ... my preparations before entering became quite detailed and therapeutic in themselves. I'd clean up the house, get some fresh flowers,go for a nice long walk and declutter my mind, admire nature in all her glory and give thanks for all that was good in my life.

That shaped my perspective and intent going In, and most likely in general life as well.

Safe travels, friend
 
Many thanks for ALL of your replies. They were rather insightful.

For those who care/are curious [[possible rant warning]], mild depression started this time last year for some unknown reason.. I'm attributing it to the possible fact that I was sad to see my (now ex) girlfriend moving away to another state to go to college in January. We'd done the long distance thing perfectly successfully in the past for quite some time, so this wasn't too bad... She ended up coming back at the end of the semester, then this summer she broke up with me. Tore my heart up, and

I'm still bleeding...

Within one week, two day intervals of each other, my old friend from high school died, girlfriend broke up with me, new roommate/good friend failed to make rent after saying he could for months (before he moved in) and I, for some reason, remembered (how did I forget????) that my mom has cancer and won't do anything to fight it...

So.. that happened. Ended up taking my knife to my arm 31 times in one session... luckily the only one I have had... and well... here I am.

To address Shayku... I'm probably not eating as well as I should, I sleep 4-7 hours ish a night, but my life is pretty hectic... up between 730 and 8, go to school til noon, go to work from 3 to 10, come do homework, go to bed around 1 2 ish..

My social life, oddly enough, has jumped up quite a bit since breaking up, but... When I'm with people, after a while I hate being around them, so I'll just suddenly jump up and leave, and when I'm by myself, often I wish I was with other people.. It's a terrible catch 22. for over 3 years, my girlfriend was the only person I needed. I feel lost without her, and though I somewhat enjoy being single, and enjoy thinking about the possibility of being with other girls... She was damn near everything I wanted in a girl...

Sought therapy recently, which helped quite a bit, but only short term, hence the curiousity of delving into hyperspace, but even without this stress, anxiety, and depression, it's hard to get the courage to venture forth.
 
Last night I visited hyperspace numerous times. One of my best friends, after saying over and over he'd never try it, did, so I was in a very positive state of mind. He said he'd try it after I did it, so I relaxed, took a few hits, and was transported into an extremely comfortable ball of bright yellow sunlight that had a lot of blocks emanating from it... It was extremely positive and happy, comfortable, relaxing.
I broke through probably 5 or 6 times last night even, and each time was just as great, but very different.

I tried focusing on my problems, my depression when I was there... I didn't really get any answers, but I also didn't spin into a negloop. Every aspect of life that I was ever aware of during one of the breakthroughs--life, love, depression, suicide, killing, happy and bad things, sad things, distant things...-- zoomed out and placed itself into one trough in a huge colorful spinning... thing, and wheeled it away. My cares, everything, insignificant.

The only bad part during this was that I felt like I could have killed myself during that point so I could forever stay there, but obviously I didn't. It just made life seem so trivial, and such a small part of everything out there. Everything we've ever known, just *blip*, a tiny, tiny tiny meaningless insignificantly trivial blip in a vast area of energy. It just happened to manifest itself... It seems silly that there's so much that can be construed as "serious" here now... because, like I've thought before, all we know, including the universe, is just nearly infinitely small in a place of energy that has infinitely manifesting types of energy. Life here is how me perceive it, but it's very different elsewhere.
 
Very nice report . I think its about seeing other possibilities and getting the most unique perspective possible on this world.

Its ultimately up to each of us to decide what to do with the information we discover.

Personally for me with proper time to integrate between journeys it has made me see things better and realize what an amazingly beautiful world we live in.
 
Hi Optyks, reminds me of how my dreamer got only warm welcomes when he came to spice in his depression years ago :) But the spice is just a horseshoe out of the rut, work on your issues once you're out so you don't get stuck again.

"Feeling Good" by David D. Burns MD is an amazing book for depression. And no my name is not David, although I think he should be paying me considering the amount of times I've touted his book. Might just put it in my signature instead from now on.
 
our lives may be tiny and insignificant seeming held against the vastness of the universe, but one lesson from fractal geometry is that scale is illusory. What appears tiny and insignificant contains the entire pattern, the formula for the whole thing. Much like DNA. That we are alive and conscious and self-aware is the engine of the universe as we know it.

Everything you know exists only within your head. Whatever is out there, physical reality, is not what you carry around in your head and think about; it is an amalgamation of the sensory inputs, delayed, assessed, compressed, analysed and digested.

The universe you consider, so vast in comparison to your perception of yourself, exists entirely within you.

Which is not to say there is nothing outside of our perception - of course, there must be something to perceive. But the scale of the complexity, the sheer vastness of the universe, you have an idea of this in your mind. Your mind can encapsulate that eternity.

This infinity that we inhabit also exists within ourselves. Our very consciousness makes us a significant part of the universe.

much love
 
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