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notkuroda

Rising Star
Hello all,

I'm really excited to have found this page. After several months of experimenting with the spirit molecule, I feel like it's my time to stop for awhile and assess what's happened to me. Very few of the reports that I've read are share the same characteristics of my experiences, so I look forward to the opportunity to share what's happened with an understanding community, who knows that this is so much more than an illegal experience.

I'm 39 years old, father of two kids, on my second marriage and work in finance. There are litterally two of me: The responsible family man and the loony psychonaut. The problem I have is that it's quite difficult to continue on my own paradigm knowing what I now know. Following the rules and doing what I have to do to fit in societies norms becomes more difficult the older I get. I'm hoping that if I can clarify the (sometimes)cloudy experiences I've had, I hope that I can apply them to my everyday life. Any advice I could get to this end would be most appreciated. I'll write more when I'm able. Thank you for the opportunity
 
Hello notkuroda,

Welcome to the Nexus! Thank you for sharing that great introduction with us

For some of our more unusual, profound and outstanding trip reports you may want to check this section DMT - Quality experience reports - Welcome to the DMT-Nexus .

You sound like you might have some integration issues to me. I want to direct you to the Health & Safety link in the upper right hand corner of the forum page. There's a lot of helpful information there.

Sometimes, just having a place to discuss and share these crazy and wonderful experiences can be helpful. Don't hesitate to post trip reports, questions, concerns, etc. Please feel free to participate in any way that feels right to you.

Again, a warm welcome from another member over 35 years of age. 😁
 
Hello notkuroda,

I'm your age, also a father, also on my second marriage, also with a high demand professional activity. Your conflict is also mine. And it is a delicate balance act, probably harder to deal with than other similar conundrums, mostly because there's a huge contrast between our social establishment rules and the deep insights brought by entheogens.

For me, entheogens are not necessarily a reversal of priorities, or something to beat in order to carry on with social and family responsibilities. Love becomes stronger. Also empathy with loved ones. Plant teachers show you that the mystery is deeper than yourself and everything, that subjectivity is key and everything is related. Those lessons are not unique to loony psychonauts. There's much more to share and apply to everyday life than appears at first sight.

Realizing that social contracts are constructs? Yes. That social demands and worries look like an epiphenomenon of our limited, partial human experience? That too. And the hardest bit is seeing your kids or wife worried or suffering because of something you might "debunk" easily appealing to your experiences. But you know these experiences cannot be translated, so in the end you just behave the same way you would with any adult experience: adapting it to what your peers can understand.

Try to share all you can with your wife. That is priceless for me. But I'm pretty sure that, no matter how tricky the balance is, your loony psychonaut side will help to spare your kids a lot of bull. With no need whatsoever to mention "hyperspace". I think in the end it will pay off.

And welcome to the Nexus :)
 
I'm already glad I came here! Thanks to both of you! I will check out health and safety, because yes, integration issues(I've never had a term for it) are a constant struggle. I do try to share as much as possible with my wife, who has done her own exploring. But there are some things that I want to bring up that when I sit down with her, I just can't find the words.

Thanks again!
 
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