I have a lot of psychological problems related to stress, weight of society and the general state of things.
I work a high demanding, high stress job, running a business.
I smoked dmt several times, mushrooms, lots of weed, short problem with coke... overcame it 100%!
But over than the last few months I have been relatively sober, minus a strong drinking binge lasting couple months... overcame it, 3 weeks sober from the hard stuff and avg 2 beers a week (just in social situations with friends).
the thoughts of dmt drew myself out of these addictions in search of something higher.
the first time I smoked dmt Irealized magic was real, and we weren't abandoned on this damned rock... and enjoyed life again freely for quite some time.
I also became folds and folds more empathetic and understanding person
mimosa ayahuasca has been calling me very badly, dreams, it has been driving all my actions for 3 weeks, (AND MAY CONTINUE TO DO SO FOR THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE).
I ordered 150g powdered mimosa hostililis, no details, it is pink, purple and powdery.
as well as 30g syrian rue.
I did 3x boil/simmer for 40min periods, using 16g mimosa and 5g rue. filtering like a million times with coffee filter, reboiled down, refiltered. Boiled down to like half mason jar each. Sit in fridge overnight, remove sediment, refilter
Ilives where it is cold, but was in need of medicine badly, I hates tripping in my own, (or any house.
I packed a sack, bundled up and hiked into the woods to a familiar cave. aprox 40min hike over ridges/creeks, about 8in snowfall, flurrying all day. 27f.
Dont worry guys, I was REALLY BUNDLED UP>>>>
When I got to the cave the ipod was playing bob marley, good stuff.
I drank the rue tea, sat and watched the snow fall for 30minutes.
(I like the syrian rue seeds, taste is as bad as a bad plain dark tea)
I drank 3 medium gulps of the mimosa brew, feeling nothing for 15min,
drank one more...
it was at this time that I allowed all feelings of stress to migrate to the stomach, but being brave, I swallowed the premature purge back down.
*note that Iam in the best state of mind in the last 2+ years. I am game for this and I am approaching it ritualistically and rationally with open arms and on my knees.
there is no stress in my fore mind to my knowledge,
although I have stress problems regularly.
I was only able to hold down the contents of my stomach for about 15more minutes.
I then got an explosion of imagery when the projectile purge came.
You tell yourself you are tough, but I know now, when out in cold, puking in cave, alone, it is hard to find control.
it was good, and solid experience, the spirit approved, but she is still brutal
anyways, I then felt veryyy cold, (although I was not too bad, I works in ambient temp year round.) I started dancing ritualistically to keep warm, this was very good, it calmed myself/stomach and some trail mix was eaten.
I slept in visions while trance dancing for quite some time, it was at this time that time perception left me. walking around, observing without having to be petty divvying out future time-shares of your attention. You paid the world attention, on it's own terms. I loved the moss. it loved me for loving it.
I realized that although winter may be cold even in a cave, a cave is all mother nature really can provide for us, and we survived before, so maybe I am stronger than he gives credit for, as well as a sense of you dont always get what you want, but you always get what you need.
I had visions for a while, then purged again after attempting a renewed does, throwing up what looked like a stomach full to the brim of mucus.
I only was able to get down 1/3 the jar, even with redosing, and repurging
from then on I felt light as a feather, and purged of stress, although visions never got too intense. is showed me that if I can pull such an overwhelmingly positive psychological result from said situation involving laying in cave floor next to puke..
afterwards I flew through the forest to discuss findings with friends. feeling as light as Pocahontas.
as each step on the hike TO the cave, I felt tension and stress in every muscle in every step, dreading the return journey rather than enjoying the present. on the return journey, each step was light, strong, and lightening fast reflexes.
I ran up the ridges and leaped the gullies in feats that surprised me as a backpack and many layers were involved. I literally happily ran the 30min journey back from the 'wilderness'
the forest loved me, and left me with the feeling of doing it with my best friend and tripping partner, it may help the strength the hold the purge off.
I call it a success although it was not too intense, probably for the better, what is your more experienced take on my recent actions?
I work a high demanding, high stress job, running a business.
I smoked dmt several times, mushrooms, lots of weed, short problem with coke... overcame it 100%!
But over than the last few months I have been relatively sober, minus a strong drinking binge lasting couple months... overcame it, 3 weeks sober from the hard stuff and avg 2 beers a week (just in social situations with friends).
the thoughts of dmt drew myself out of these addictions in search of something higher.
the first time I smoked dmt Irealized magic was real, and we weren't abandoned on this damned rock... and enjoyed life again freely for quite some time.
I also became folds and folds more empathetic and understanding person
mimosa ayahuasca has been calling me very badly, dreams, it has been driving all my actions for 3 weeks, (AND MAY CONTINUE TO DO SO FOR THE IMMEDIATE FUTURE).
I ordered 150g powdered mimosa hostililis, no details, it is pink, purple and powdery.
as well as 30g syrian rue.
I did 3x boil/simmer for 40min periods, using 16g mimosa and 5g rue. filtering like a million times with coffee filter, reboiled down, refiltered. Boiled down to like half mason jar each. Sit in fridge overnight, remove sediment, refilter
Ilives where it is cold, but was in need of medicine badly, I hates tripping in my own, (or any house.
I packed a sack, bundled up and hiked into the woods to a familiar cave. aprox 40min hike over ridges/creeks, about 8in snowfall, flurrying all day. 27f.
Dont worry guys, I was REALLY BUNDLED UP>>>>
When I got to the cave the ipod was playing bob marley, good stuff.
I drank the rue tea, sat and watched the snow fall for 30minutes.
(I like the syrian rue seeds, taste is as bad as a bad plain dark tea)
I drank 3 medium gulps of the mimosa brew, feeling nothing for 15min,
drank one more...
it was at this time that I allowed all feelings of stress to migrate to the stomach, but being brave, I swallowed the premature purge back down.
*note that Iam in the best state of mind in the last 2+ years. I am game for this and I am approaching it ritualistically and rationally with open arms and on my knees.
there is no stress in my fore mind to my knowledge,
although I have stress problems regularly.
I was only able to hold down the contents of my stomach for about 15more minutes.
I then got an explosion of imagery when the projectile purge came.
You tell yourself you are tough, but I know now, when out in cold, puking in cave, alone, it is hard to find control.
it was good, and solid experience, the spirit approved, but she is still brutal
anyways, I then felt veryyy cold, (although I was not too bad, I works in ambient temp year round.) I started dancing ritualistically to keep warm, this was very good, it calmed myself/stomach and some trail mix was eaten.
I slept in visions while trance dancing for quite some time, it was at this time that time perception left me. walking around, observing without having to be petty divvying out future time-shares of your attention. You paid the world attention, on it's own terms. I loved the moss. it loved me for loving it.
I realized that although winter may be cold even in a cave, a cave is all mother nature really can provide for us, and we survived before, so maybe I am stronger than he gives credit for, as well as a sense of you dont always get what you want, but you always get what you need.
I had visions for a while, then purged again after attempting a renewed does, throwing up what looked like a stomach full to the brim of mucus.
I only was able to get down 1/3 the jar, even with redosing, and repurging
from then on I felt light as a feather, and purged of stress, although visions never got too intense. is showed me that if I can pull such an overwhelmingly positive psychological result from said situation involving laying in cave floor next to puke..
afterwards I flew through the forest to discuss findings with friends. feeling as light as Pocahontas.
as each step on the hike TO the cave, I felt tension and stress in every muscle in every step, dreading the return journey rather than enjoying the present. on the return journey, each step was light, strong, and lightening fast reflexes.
I ran up the ridges and leaped the gullies in feats that surprised me as a backpack and many layers were involved. I literally happily ran the 30min journey back from the 'wilderness'
the forest loved me, and left me with the feeling of doing it with my best friend and tripping partner, it may help the strength the hold the purge off.
I call it a success although it was not too intense, probably for the better, what is your more experienced take on my recent actions?
