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Now im even MORE frustrated by 'reality'

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zalxder

zalxder

Rising Star
Okay okay so I haven't done DMT. But I have done Salvia Divinorium enough to...

1) Travel to a mathematically-perfect-living-infinite-eternal-maze-made-out-of-the-sacred-geometrical-pattern-we-call-the-flower-of-life inhabited by 5-eyed-mouthless-human-like-beings-made-entirely-of-light who watch over crystal-orb-like-balls-that-contain-entire-universes ;

2) Experience the entire obliteration of everything including the place described in step 1 to an infinite field of light stretching on for infinity in every direction with nothing existing except my same voice that I have now

...and Im supposed to believe that I can't get a job or afford gasoline food or a house nor find my-very special-wife* and must grovel and beg from my family who work like slaves never doing what they want but forced to work constantly like most of the other humans on a tiny spec called earth?

talking about some serious frustration in my life, but, its all for my own good - right? wouldnt want to go back to being alone in a field of light, right ? human life is good half the time, right? half the time good is better then nothing, right?

If it weren't for the sheer horror and pain involved in experiencing the obliteration of the entire universe I'd just smoke some more, but pretty much wishing I didn't come back from my more recent journey - that or the 'rules' of this physical universe would stop being so harsh, because they could easily not be... I pretty much realize nothing has to be and anything could be...

welp hope you let me chat with ya'll here on the forum

z-iz-alxder-er-er-er


*(I actually have that mark on my forehead Buddha has, and I think, I hope, that theres a woman some where with one too, and was partially hoping to get in contact with her by chance that she would also come to this forum)
 
dear zalxder,

What you describe is a hardship we all more or less suffer through. Working and struggling in contemporary society to get a hold on some kind of security or financial basis to survive, and if it's not survival anymore then it's some kind of level of living quality that we desire... Frustration is understandable, but perhaps there is more to it than on the one side dissolution into white fields and on the other pointless suffering. Perhaps our view as humans is too limited at times and we only see things revolving around this one center which is our frustration.

If we take a step back, and another and another at some point we see that something amazing is going on. There is this amazingly large universe in which we are embedded that is developing according to patterns and rules that we can almost grasp at... and it's not like we bystanders watching this unraveling, but we are participants in it; perhaps we, the consciousness that we are, are reflections of the very constellations of the cosmos that are moving around us. Where will this development lead to? It's hard to say, but I find it more interesting than white light or any other dissolution one could imagine escaping to. I decide whole heartedly that despite personal discomfort I want to very consciously participate in this universe.

Now zooming in a bit closer other amazing things are happening on smaller scales: Global consciousness is developing into new and interesting forms by virtue of new technologies like the internet and advances in computer technology in general. Awareness is rising of problems such as sustainability/resources, environment, education, energy etc. New forms of spirituality are also arising, new philosophies are constantly being developed, keeping up with the newness of the world all around us. Society as a whole is moving forwards, moving somewhere. I won't say that it's constantly getting better, but it's constantly developing and changing. We are part of these huge dynamic systems that are developing in a reciprocal relationship to us. The things we complain about and attach emotions such as frustration and suffering to may be valuable on these other levels?

Finally zoom in even closer and you will see even more fantastic things happening, inside yourself, your own consciousness evolving or at least in constant flux. Frustration, pessimism, fear, these are all possible ways to approach the reality we can not control, but there are others as well, and the truly amazing thing about our minds is that we can shift from one to the other in a matter of seconds. I suppose it's hard when your in physical danger of dying because of starvation to be stoic about it, but what is the point in doing otherwise? The best you can do is to act within the bounds of your ability to change your situation to one more desirable. Clinging to the modes of frustration in these situation serves no one. I'm not saying you shouldn't get frustrated at all, because this is not something you can control and if you could it would probably mean you are just repressing the feelings. I'm saying you should not get fixated on this angle of relating to reality.

For this psychedelics are wonderful tools. They can help you see how easy shifts in consciousness can be done and how many angles there really are to every single thing. The way in which we can experience the world is multi-layered and mutli-angled, and IMO it is great practice to try and open up to as many as possible with a good sense of balance, and not attaching to any one of these.

That being said --- what do you think of dmt? are you interested in trying it?

cheers & love
Enoon
 
@Enoon
Thanks for taking the time to write, you speak with great understanding.

@kinkyking
Well when I was born there was a red-bump the size of an index finger print directly in the center of my forehead that resembles a natural bindi that Hindu's wear.
 
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