• Members of the previous forum can retrieve their temporary password here, (login and check your PM).

OD'd & Bitch Slapped

Migrated topic.
Pandora

Pandora

Spice Momma
Donator
Senior Member
Welcoming committee Senior member
Hello,

A previous post asked when is it too much use and Jorkest replied, "When you get bitch slapped by the elves." I thought this was very funny until . . .:shock: :x

Last Friday I loaded some of my borderline breakthrough weed into a tiny water pipe bowl and added a solid 20 mg right on top. I guestimated this couldn't be more than 55 mg, but who knows the dose in the weed?

I vaporized and sat back, thinking I'd try to keep my eyes open. I remember things getting very, very weird, especially with my philadendron which was looking like an extraterestial alien . . . everything was moving, smearing, brightly lit. My eyes slipped shut out of my control, into trance.

I instantly broke through, but I do not know what happened in the first minute or two. All I can say about this initial part is that after a minute or two, I "came down" into ego-death! I didn't even know something like this was possible!

Fuck, fuck, fuck. I have decided to quit counting all of these ego-deaths, as it seems pointless. Clearly it is not letting up, and I find that I cannot even face a dose of mushrooms these days . . .

So, I am dead. The main color of the realm is orange, with lots of red, pink, purple, blue, green and yellow details. There are half a dozen entities IN MY FACE! Lunging toward me in such a way that I mainly see their faces and chests - their arms and the items in their arms are left behind their bodies and they thrust their faces within a centimeter of my own. As they move around, I am catching glimpses of hilly, heavenly vistas behind them. This realm was filled with the "inner light" of things, what Terence McKenna calls the appearance of "highly polished metal," with indirect lighting.

My entities do not speak to me using language. Instead the communication is via telepathy and body language. It was clear to me that I was dead and these joyful, hyperactive entities were vying for the opportunity to show me around the hilly, heavenly realm.

This goes on for a minute or two, and as it always does and always will (until the day of my actual death) I began to realize that I was not dead and that this was a super-intense DMT experience. The MOMENT I had this realization, the entities were PISSED. This is the first time my entities have been angry or upset with me!

They were angry that I was in fact NOT dead! I didn't belong there! They weren't going to show me around! The heavenly vistas closed off and the entities backed off. The telepathic message was one of anger and punishment. If it had been verbal, it would have been something like, "Bitch! How dare you come to our realm when you aren't really dead! We know you and all levels of you! Since you dared to try to see something you should not, LOOK AT THIS!!!"

Suddenly, there were multi-colored hula-hoops everywhere and the entities were handing them to me. The hula-hoops had moving, spinning, primary colored, bright objects in them: geometric shapes, english letters, numbers, alien language.

The hula-hoops had something else in them too. Bugs. My one remaining phobia, now that I am over my fear of death. I was in the breakthrough realms. There were no secrets, nothing that could be hidden within my mind. Those fuckers knew how to get to me!

For some reason I accepted a hula-hoop in a dumbfounded manner from an entity and instantly got tactile hallucinations of bugs crawling all over my hands and fingers. Very unpleasant.

I came back to my body soon after this. The entire thing was so bright, beautiful and energetic, I wasn't ready to identify it as a bad DMT trip. But, now that a couple of days have passed and I find that I cannot face the spice . . .

Feeling a bit adrift, but happy to learn new things . . .

Peace & Love,
Pandora
 
strangely, in some of my deepest, most epiphany-rife breakthroughs- it is when i suddenly "realize" anything that i become upset with MYSELF....almost like, "dammit dude, you were in the flow and you had to go and start thinking...which immediately yanked you right out!"..

spice- being the infinitely faceted mirror that it is- will reflect this anger/disappointment/general upset with exponential intensity...

i actually had a scenario like this just last week...except that rather than getting angry, i got sad and no sooner had this happened than i began to "channel" some hyperspace wisdom. still very much in both worlds, i consciously entered my body, sat up and went to my desk, grabbed a pen and paper and wrote the following:

STOP QUESTIONING.
THE LONGER YOU CAN CEASE TO QUESTION, THE LONGER YOU GET TO STAY IN HEAVEN.

i put the pen down, went back to my launchpad and continued on with an extremely powerful journey...albeit with a sense of awareness i prefer to leave checked at the door....

this was the first and only time i've ever been able to "do" anything in THIS world whilest deeply in THAT one....i think it was an important message i needed to bring back...

...maybe to share with YOU! :D

MUCH LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
 
I have to admit, i secretly love reading 'bitch slapped' reports, when people just took it too far.
those kind of trips are an important part of the overarching dmt experience, and dmt use.
It seems, amazingly, to be self-regulating.

But Pandora, from reading your post, your trip seems strangely dualistic; first really positive (the kind of trip that SWIM loves, with entities, bright colours, telepathic communications) and then turning completely negative. SWIM has never had a smoked DMT trip like that; usually his trips either start negative, or start positive. Except one time, when he met the greys, and definately did move from a fully positive experience to quite a discomfortable one; although it was not distinctly negative. interestingly enough, it was only after a few days that he realised that they were infact doing things to him and being pretty cold about the whole process too.

I wish he could return to the colourful elflands you are describing; however all is not lost - recently SWIM experienced an incredble reality-locking type experience, where everything just went "fully woosh" and he found himself in an incredible geometric zone. The really incredible part though, was that he opened his eyes (perhaps prematurely, but no, infact, perfectly... ) to reveal an eternal knot (this one) which he had just moved up from downstairs, tidying. And the incredible, incredible thing is the geometric grid dissapeared and faded into this eternal knot, so it was like the knot was the centrepeice of the entire universe, like a key being unlocked. somekind of incredible, epic, all-knowing all-empowered royal regal wax seal-of-everything stamped right in the middle of my vision. It just happened to be facing perfectly at me, and just happened to be right in the centre of my vision when i opened my eyes! BIZZARE! Totally amazed me. Its one thing hallucinating crazy realms, its another opening your eyes to see that there isn't any difference between your hallucinations and your reality!!!!!! [p.s I don't mean to freak anyone out by this. but I am coming to realize that the inner world IS the outer world!]
 
antrocles said:
strangely, in some of my deepest, most epiphany-rife breakthroughs- it is when i suddenly "realize" anything that i become upset with MYSELF....almost like, "dammit dude, you were in the flow and you had to go and start thinking...which immediately yanked you right out!"..

spice- being the infinitely faceted mirror that it is- will reflect this anger/disappointment/general upset with exponential intensity...

i actually had a scenario like this just last week...except that rather than getting angry, i got sad and no sooner had this happened than i began to "channel" some hyperspace wisdom. still very much in both worlds, i consciously entered my body, sat up and went to my desk, grabbed a pen and paper and wrote the following:

STOP QUESTIONING.
THE LONGER YOU CAN CEASE TO QUESTION, THE LONGER YOU GET TO STAY IN HEAVEN.

i put the pen down, went back to my launchpad and continued on with an extremely powerful journey...albeit with a sense of awareness i prefer to leave checked at the door....

this was the first and only time i've ever been able to "do" anything in THIS world whilest deeply in THAT one....i think it was an important message i needed to bring back...

...maybe to share with YOU! :D

MUCH LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
Click to expand...


Thanks antrocles,

I am awed by your vision as well as your response to it. I am awed and touched by your interpretation. Thank you so much for sharing . . .

I read your posts and have been meanng to ask you, "How do you do it?" I strongly desire to be a daily spice user, to spend an entire day (or even evening) in hyperspace, but as Jorkest and shoe so astutely pointed out (this is very true for me) the spice appears to be self-regulating and I am not meant to use it more than a few times a week at the absolute most.

I cannot figure out how you do it. Happy birthday man - I do read the details of your posts, have a fairly good memory and know you recently had a Bday which marks the last year of the decade that marks ones' prime of life. I also know you love Mary Jane, probably like I do. So, approaching middle age (chronologically) and with rather experienced (yet very healthy due to being fit and active) lungs. I find that after a couple attempts or a single breakthrough I cannot do it any more for at least 24 hours. My lungs ache or my psyche feels overwhelmed and I need to rest or eat a large meal or something similar to recharge. Once I do this I find I am compelled to do something that I would previously have identified as painfully mudane, such as clean the bathroom . . .

Thanks again,
Pandora
 
hey pandora...the BEST thing to do after being bitch slapped...is to go DIRECTLY back...dont wait another second...go back..and just confront 'them'

i actually got beaten up once...in this world..but was fighting them off in THAT world...i was being thrashed around on my bed...pinned down...beaten and punched...i came out of it like....WTF!? so a friend called and asked if he could come by..and i was like...YEAH...so then i had a sitter..went back to my friend playing guitar..and everything was worked out on the next visit
 
Pandora, if that's where you believe you'll be going when you die, I would up the ante on the self-improvement because those entities were no angels! ;) I kid. Don't worry about it, real or no, it's all created out of your own head, I think :)
 
thank you for that pandinka ;)

actually i won't have officially rotated around this sun 39 times until the day after christmas....so feel free to send me a happy bday PM on that day!

on topic- i will say that i have explored and tried nearly everything out there and have firmly decided that DMT is, without question, MY medicine. let me put it this way: i just did the best extraction i've ever done....BEAUTIFUL clear white crystals...shiny like a bowl full of diamonds....the smell....oh dear lord...THE SMELL!!!!! i pop my head into the fridge and lift the lid on my medicine at least a handful of times every hour! the smell alone brings tears to my eyes...sincerely...like smelling the universe in all of it's incomprehensible complexity. that smell becomes that taste becomes that world becomes all that is...no more becoming...just everything...

i always told myself that if i felt that it adversely effected my health in any way, i would back off....however, i seem to be strong as ever, with an aerobic capacity that seems to only be IMPROVING! mind you, if it isn't via my healing changa (sativa, lavender, caapi, peppermint and mullein) then it is simply fresh spice on a bed of mullein.... i read somewhere long ago that mullein vapor is soothing and healing to the lungs....perhaps there's something to this...

all this aside, i believe that it is "good form" to go only when the spice calls to you. i can't explain the relationship i have developed with the spirit molecule....only to say that i feel something far deeper than just "welcomed"....as i told a dear brother recently on a journey- we are doing important work here. the growth and evolution of one is the growth and evolution of all.

my WORLD has changed around me as my consciousness has grown through my work with DMT. my values, thoughts, and priorities are not at all what they were prior to that first journey into hyperspace. what i have been shown and taught is far too great to ever be conveniently "forgotten". there is a reason for all of this and it begins, for me, with staying open to it all.

one mantra: YES. this has been what i say as i exhale my lungful of universe for the past few weeks now.....simple....expansive....limitless...

i'm off to the park now to continue on with my work. i have so much to UN-learn!!! ;)

LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
 
Phlux- said:
haha jorkest - did u have any bruises afterwards ?
a lil black goblin give u a black eye ?
:Þ
Click to expand...

Jorkest
Glad your ok Bro no doubt you are a Trooper in life as well as Hyperspace:) . I can respect that.
So any physical damage in this realm as Phlux inquires?


see you there soon
peace
MV
 
Hello & Thank You Nexus Friends,

Finally, an update. It took over a week to get the nerve up to try again and I learned a lot about the difference between intellectual and visceral fear in the process.

Three attempts (35 mg, 47 mg, near breakthrough weed + 15mg) over a 24 hour period yielded three ugly trips. There are many things worth commenting on in terms of what was happening in consensual reality, with the cats, etc. But, the most important thing is that the last of the three ugly trips sent me to non-breakthrough critical-entity mediated psychotherapy.

This was like nothing I could have ever imagined. How can N,N, Dimethyltryptamine be Schedule I?!? No medical value, my ass. No medical value like say perhaps the germ theory of disease!!?!

Three factors meshed flawlessly together: I was wide open, there was telepathic communication and it was timeless in there. The critical entities used these factors to rapidly weave a "board of my life." It was outrageous! There were little colorful, moving, spinning "pieces" which were symbolic AND synesthetic representations of incidences in my personal timeline, both past AND future! The entities used the ever-changing board to understand everything about me past, present and future. I was critiqued. Specific suggestions were offered. It felt like a personality teardown. They left me to do the rebuild.

Language is wholly inadequate to explain what happened. All I can say is that if I had chosen to engage a trusted therapist in such a way that we built something similar to the board described above, using 50-minute talk therapy sessions, it would have taken many, many months.

I took a break for about eight hours but felt that the entities were trying to help me and I was taking their suggestions to heart.

Yes, ohayoco, I consider self-improvement and self-actualization a lifelong process. I have upped the ante a lot these past few months and am not afraid to do more of the same. I have been pointed in the right direction, I believe and I'm not out $5,000.00! But, no this is not where I think I'll go when I die and I agree that it is all (or mostly) created out of stuff in my head, in particular levels of (sub/un)consciousness.


So, last night after a lot of waffling and weird mental processing that suspiciously resembled the stages of grief (I had made it all the way to bargaining before becoming consciously aware this was happening.) I loaded 55 mg into the bubbler and decided to make a most sincere attempt to vaporize all of it in three hits in under a minute.

Success! I was tripping tremendously hard at the end of the second hit. The texture of the air in the room had gone dark but all objects in the room were bright, golden, reflecting, irridescent, alien and weird. My extremities were freezing up. I was barely able to say to Nemo Amicus, "Get ready," as I went for the third hit. I barely remember him taking the pipe and torch and laying back then closing my eyes.

Thank you Nemo Amicus! If not for you I would not have been able to go so deep. I know for a fact if not for you I would not have been able to take that third hit - I simply would not have allowed myself to do so, for safety's sake.

The visuals were instantly 3-D, rippling and fantastic. I thought I said, "Wow!" but Nemo Amicus says I was silent and deeply entranced for about six minutes. I knew the breakthrough was coming. I realized that I had gotten most of the dose and because of this all of my issues of resistance and blockage were null and void. It was going to happen whether or not I could let go, surrender and relax. It was inevitable.

I was completely launched from my body. Nemo told me Isis the cat walked by and around me, trying to get into my lap. I couldn't have been less aware. The breakthrough space was beautiful. The colors were back and with a vengeance. It was highly alien, hyper-dimensional and had that inner light, polished appearance that helps me describe these realms as "more real than real." The main color was a beautiful, bright, light color of red with silvery-white background. The geometric theme was circles, spirals and swirls.

There were jester-like entities here. They were excited and pleased to see me. I had done it; they had helped, but I had made it to the breakthrough realm, which all of us preferred. They were manic, playful, joyous and thrilled. The reality was broken up into strange (non square/rectangular) slices defined by 3-D "yardage lines."

The entities were all holding objects in their hands that were red coils - kind of a cross between a whip and a giant coil of old fashioned red "licorice." They would ensure they had my attention, take a couple of running, dancing steps forward, then would extend or crack their whips. The "whips" were alive and made up of myriad small entity-like, geometric, spinning objects, all connected and working together. The whip cracks/extensions would help to redefine the 3-D "yardage lines" of the reality.

Other than this I am not sure what happened. Returning to my body was a bit of a surprise, though I never felt dead in that realm - just didn't know I was tripping. Re-integrating fully with my body took close to an hour. When I first opened my eyes, objects in the room such as pictures, chairs, a desk, etc. looked exactly like the more extreme works of Vincent Van Gough.

Nemo Amicus was there, leaning over and smiling. I gasped out, "It worked!" and he replied, "I could tell." I knew it was my husband and that he was smiling but he came through as a large, blurry, ever moving, rounded edges entity.

After a leisurly return to baseline I realized I was on the other side of a somewhat serious bump in the road. My blissed out state persisted well into the next day. I hope for future consolidations of gains.

Thank you again everyone. I am attaching a pic of my favorite piece of hardware - a freebase bubbler. This is an amazing sacrament delivery device, . . . very gentle on the lungs too.

Peace & Love,
Pandora
 

Attachments

  • breakthrough.jpg
    breakthrough.jpg
    46 KB · Views: 3
Big fan of the bubbler, I have one like it. I used to have to take three hits to get a >40mg dose, but I found that simply pre-melting the spice before take-off until it is all liquid helps tremendously. Now I can do 60mg in one hit, and have time to put the pipe and torch lighter down safely. Most of the time I don't even remember exhaling...

I actually broke 3 pipes because I would lose motor function before I could finish. Lucky I didn't cut myself, I suppose.

On to the fear. I have never felt fear like I have on DMT. The sheer, pants-wetting terror is completely unmatched by any other life experiance I have ever had, including a couple of life threatening situations. Luckily, the reverse also holds true.

I definitly agree that DMT is self regulating, I had the "honeymoon" period that many other talk about when I first started. Four or five times a week, three to five journeys a session for about a month. Now days I travel maybe once a fortnight, whenever I hear the call. I always have at least a couple of journeys in a session though. Sometimes I'll hit a "wall", for lack of a better term. I'll know that I've had enough for today, and should pack up. I've ignored this a couple of times, and always with negative results. Once the warning came during a trip.

I found myself outside a structure. The entrance was monitored by a couple of entities. i could see there was a party going on inside, looked and sounded like a lot of fun. I moved to go in, and was refused entry. "What? Why?? I want to go in!!" I got the reply "I think you've had enought tonight mate. Maybe next time" I was really bummed out, and tryed to push my way in (idiotic I know, but I really wanted in):oops: . I was gently held back, censured, and felt great shame. Had a laugh, apologised and was forgiven.:d

When I came down I was amused by the similarity between this, and being refused entry to a nightclub by bouncers for being to drunk. Bizarre.
 
Pandora: Could you tell me where I could get a bubbler like that one? I absoloutely love glass,
just so sexy!
SWIM asked me to ask you because he is interested in the health benefits (reduced tar, cooler smoke.)
 
shoe said:
Pandora: Could you tell me where I could get a bubbler like that one? I absoloutely love glass,
just so sexy!
SWIM asked me to ask you because he is interested in the health benefits (reduced tar, cooler smoke.)
Click to expand...


shoe,

It helps that I live in a poor community that I describe as a "hick ghetto," located in the central portion of a West Coast state in the United Police States of America. Once you arrive/settle, you will soon be offered one (or all) of three things: A ticket to the rodeo, methamphetamine, a 40 ounce of malt liqour (helps to take the edge off the crank!). I do not like any of these. As a matter of fact, I have vehement and hate-filled feelings towards all three. I apologize ONLY to the rodeo offcianados out there.

Other areas (e.g. major Bay Area cities in California) do not offer freebasing equipment. I found it in the lower-income, more ghetto regions that had smoke shops. This equipment is never displayed up front. You either need to go behind a curtain to a back room or try to ask the proprietor without incriminating yourself. I have an advantage, as I possess a medical marijuana card, so I simply ask for a hash oil bubbler, but you can home in on it with a proprietor who wants to make a sale - ask for a small vaporizer/bubbler. He will show you fancy, expensive equipment. No, you want something simpler, smaller. He will offer you pretty glass. No, you want clear, so you can see what's going on. If asked (you won't be) what it is for you can say for vaporizing essential oils, concentrates and plant extracts :d .

My proprietor has a cardboard box he keeps covered up behind the counter in the curtained room and that's where all the fancy and not-so fancy freebasing equipment is kept, including essential replacement parts (I am always breaking glass, in particular while cleaning).

Again, I believe (at least in the U(P)SA) that if you cannot locate such equipment locally, you need to search for an area that is more poor. Sad but true.

Good luck - it is well worth the effort of the search!

Peace & Love,
Pandora
 
SWIM has a well stocked local headshop which comes with various types of freebasing pipes, including the pretty ones as mentioned, and a range of bongs etc. Very well stocked in the way of glass, but i've never seen a simple little bubbler like this. Definately gonna SWIM one of those!
 
I don't know what the heck this is about. And it seems to frequently cross cultures, ages and beliefs regardless of the details of their appearance.

There is a fundamental playfulness to these entities, but things can get mischeavous and downright punishing quickly if I push it . . . :D

Also, many folks I speak with describe them as I do . . a bit short/diminutive and a bit overweight . . . go figure. . . I mean I know many cultures have tales of "the little people/folks," but it is not universal.


A topic came up among folks I knew awhile back - what would someone who was NOT saturated in all this high-technology, sci-fi themed, computerized world make of a DMT breakthrough? And our conclusion was that the person would probably see entities that reflected their own cultures and experiences (less electronic, sci-fi, more down to earth, ancestral, etc.) and that the visions would be fundamentally self-transforming, ever changing and fractal as the visions of the insects and jungle life/creatures are shown in the movie "Blueberry/Renegade" when our main character takes his first real big dose of whatever the breakthrough brew is that the shaman gives him.

Anyway, thanks for reading. This gave me a big smile - it happened "so long" ago it seems like a completely different world. My life appears to be a rather "mellow singularity" these days and I wouldn't have it any other way.
 
I enjoyed the duality of your report.

I am pretty conservative about how much I load into the pipe and how often I go there. I have had some spooky experiences long ago in my past with LSD in high doses which tends to keep me from excessively tripping these days. I have to admit that my wife wants to go there more frequently than do I. Soon I will revisit hyperspace, but I have not had an urgent calling for a while, and my last experience a few months ago was sub break through.
 
Back
Top Bottom