I had been having some issues last few exposures to DMT. Even with dosing at 20 mgs and below.
Issues of resistance due to body load on the come up. Difficulty letting go. Lots of anxiety. Even when I would meditate and really get my mind feeling very calm before I could feel the physical anxiety reaction happening in my body.
Although in the recent past I was not a fan of the extended comeup with harmalas I decided to smoke a dose before going in again to calm myself down a bit. Harmalas have been a great ally at helping to stabilize mood in times of high stress. So, why not try it for this irrational anxiety?
Large eyeballed smoked harmala dose followed by 15 mgs DMT
Back after 10 minutes - this was a good choice.
The come up was surprisingly easy as was letting go. I could definitely feel the harmalas. It felt much more organic.
I started in a gigantic “room” that was also like being on an undulating purple hillside made up of weird sections (that reminded me of closeups of human skin - the diamonds and other shapes) with perpendicular pieces of line geometry semicircles of various colors throbbing up and down, some higher than others, at various angles, within the borders of the weird sections. The “ceiling” was similar and these floor and ceiling surfaces were undulating closer and closer together. Nearly touching in the far background, which was also higher up the hill and a bit more opened up closer to my perspective which was closer to the base of the hillside. Also in the far background I could see tiny moving marquis near a distant wall and I could hear the tinnitus sound.
There were all kinds of little bugs, small flying things, floating blobs of . . . “information” helping to fill this space. There were flying entities and entities standing on the hylozoic “ground.”
Letting go of body worries was as easy as a thought then they were gone and I fully immersed was in the trip. I literally didn’t think about my breath. I didn’t need to.
When the “floor” and “ceiling” surfaces merged, I/my perspective kind of got squeezed into a different space, a much more mechanical space, with like (old toy set from the 1970’s and beyond) Erector Set pieces made up of bright white light with other pieces of red, yellow, lots of blues and other inner lit colors. There were odd structures all around.
I was looking at an object on the "floor" that at first looked like it was made of beams of this hyperspatial Erector Set of light stuff arranged into a circle formation (radiating around a central point) with a line of beams leading away from the main circle in a kind of curved formation. When I looked at it beams began to shift position. Four beams moved perpendicular and many more formed a spiky formation on the end away from the curved part. The object was doing a kind of situp and flipping over.
I suddenly realized it was an exquisite, very angular hypercat on its back - the moving beams formed its’ legs and it’s face/whiskers. It was delightful and seemed happy to see me. It’s giant tail made of white light was moving in the happy friendly way that cats’ tails do. It suddenly curled up and blocked my vision. I fell behind it and slid into and drifted down a “hallway” that had alive, constantly changing walls, ceilings and floors that led to another “room”
I met an odd bureaucratic, female snake like entity with an amazing, self-transforming head and hat. The edges of her body were dark green, but her inner sections were golden. Her head was large, flat, circular and light grey-green with lots of small blue and purple triangular and other shaped pieces that were flying off, moving in time to the music or changing/evolving.
She was sitting at a desk made of a large oval of transparent light and the desk was kind of floating in space. There were other entities just like her with desks just like hers behind her floating in well lit space for as far as I could see. These other entities had desks exactly like the snake lady in the front and similar styles of bodies and heads, but just like our customer service representative their faces were rapidly and wildly transforming. So although they were all the same, they were also all different and changing.
I asked her if she could help Nemo and I? I used my voice. I did this because this really felt like alien contact. Like I was in a sacred, alien room where requests were processed infinitely and the vibe was friendly as well as bureaucratic, so I figured, why not?
My perspective was forced upwards into her hat which exploded into its’ own hypercity of fantastic depth and detail. It was very high tech and mechanical, very brightly lit with lots of flat metallic strip-like parts moving in sinuous arc like motions throughout. The surface of these weird arcs also had stuff and scenes happening on their surfaces, some of which would fly off.
I was way beyond the peak now and things were starting to both break down and kind of come in waves. I did see a different kind of hyper-mechanical cat that was part of a brown wall full of lights and just pulsing energy into its environment.
I was pleased by both the strong effect, the ease of letting go, the comfortable, organic feel of the experience and the strong feeling of having made actual contact with the snakelike entity. As to whether she will consider or submit or move my case up her bureaucracy remains to be seen.
Issues of resistance due to body load on the come up. Difficulty letting go. Lots of anxiety. Even when I would meditate and really get my mind feeling very calm before I could feel the physical anxiety reaction happening in my body.
Although in the recent past I was not a fan of the extended comeup with harmalas I decided to smoke a dose before going in again to calm myself down a bit. Harmalas have been a great ally at helping to stabilize mood in times of high stress. So, why not try it for this irrational anxiety?
Large eyeballed smoked harmala dose followed by 15 mgs DMT
Back after 10 minutes - this was a good choice.
The come up was surprisingly easy as was letting go. I could definitely feel the harmalas. It felt much more organic.
I started in a gigantic “room” that was also like being on an undulating purple hillside made up of weird sections (that reminded me of closeups of human skin - the diamonds and other shapes) with perpendicular pieces of line geometry semicircles of various colors throbbing up and down, some higher than others, at various angles, within the borders of the weird sections. The “ceiling” was similar and these floor and ceiling surfaces were undulating closer and closer together. Nearly touching in the far background, which was also higher up the hill and a bit more opened up closer to my perspective which was closer to the base of the hillside. Also in the far background I could see tiny moving marquis near a distant wall and I could hear the tinnitus sound.
There were all kinds of little bugs, small flying things, floating blobs of . . . “information” helping to fill this space. There were flying entities and entities standing on the hylozoic “ground.”
Letting go of body worries was as easy as a thought then they were gone and I fully immersed was in the trip. I literally didn’t think about my breath. I didn’t need to.
When the “floor” and “ceiling” surfaces merged, I/my perspective kind of got squeezed into a different space, a much more mechanical space, with like (old toy set from the 1970’s and beyond) Erector Set pieces made up of bright white light with other pieces of red, yellow, lots of blues and other inner lit colors. There were odd structures all around.
I was looking at an object on the "floor" that at first looked like it was made of beams of this hyperspatial Erector Set of light stuff arranged into a circle formation (radiating around a central point) with a line of beams leading away from the main circle in a kind of curved formation. When I looked at it beams began to shift position. Four beams moved perpendicular and many more formed a spiky formation on the end away from the curved part. The object was doing a kind of situp and flipping over.
I suddenly realized it was an exquisite, very angular hypercat on its back - the moving beams formed its’ legs and it’s face/whiskers. It was delightful and seemed happy to see me. It’s giant tail made of white light was moving in the happy friendly way that cats’ tails do. It suddenly curled up and blocked my vision. I fell behind it and slid into and drifted down a “hallway” that had alive, constantly changing walls, ceilings and floors that led to another “room”
I met an odd bureaucratic, female snake like entity with an amazing, self-transforming head and hat. The edges of her body were dark green, but her inner sections were golden. Her head was large, flat, circular and light grey-green with lots of small blue and purple triangular and other shaped pieces that were flying off, moving in time to the music or changing/evolving.
She was sitting at a desk made of a large oval of transparent light and the desk was kind of floating in space. There were other entities just like her with desks just like hers behind her floating in well lit space for as far as I could see. These other entities had desks exactly like the snake lady in the front and similar styles of bodies and heads, but just like our customer service representative their faces were rapidly and wildly transforming. So although they were all the same, they were also all different and changing.
I asked her if she could help Nemo and I? I used my voice. I did this because this really felt like alien contact. Like I was in a sacred, alien room where requests were processed infinitely and the vibe was friendly as well as bureaucratic, so I figured, why not?
My perspective was forced upwards into her hat which exploded into its’ own hypercity of fantastic depth and detail. It was very high tech and mechanical, very brightly lit with lots of flat metallic strip-like parts moving in sinuous arc like motions throughout. The surface of these weird arcs also had stuff and scenes happening on their surfaces, some of which would fly off.
I was way beyond the peak now and things were starting to both break down and kind of come in waves. I did see a different kind of hyper-mechanical cat that was part of a brown wall full of lights and just pulsing energy into its environment.
I was pleased by both the strong effect, the ease of letting go, the comfortable, organic feel of the experience and the strong feeling of having made actual contact with the snakelike entity. As to whether she will consider or submit or move my case up her bureaucracy remains to be seen.
I do enjoy the spicyness of pure freebase but i only tried vaporhuasca one and that with oral harmalas. Maybe i should give it another shot.
