Jan e Kharabat
Established member
Lately I have been using it only with harmalas. Today I took 60mg harmine sublingually, waited for 10-15 minutes and then vaped 30mg first, nothing happened! so after about half an hour I tried again with 50mg. I use the direct e-mesh method, set to 14-15 Watts in fixed wattage mode. But yeah perhaps it's a bit too high because I get that burnt plastic taste.
I haven't used used many drugs in my life, and I have a hard time tolerating most drugs (even lsd and mushrooms are a bit hard to enjoy). DMT has been the only big exception, and it has changed my whole life. I have struggled with crippling depression for over 14 years and I am still 26! DMT has... perhaps even cured my depression. I used to feel dead and exhausted all the time. I would wake up at 10 and stay in bed till 5 or 6 pm, often without eating anything. I have spent the greater part of the past 7 years just lying in bed. That has completely changed! Now I get up at 7, take no more than 15-30 minutes to get out of bed, and stay active the whole day. I take better care of myself, take my meals more regularly etc. A naive part of me wants to be rewarded for all this effort, I find it a bit funny! and that is the part which gets upset when denied that reward. But I have been rather obsessed with it, I cannot stop thinking about it even though I only do it once a week. Also, there is something I have been neglecting, my studies! So, perhaps I need to focus on that... but this is what I find annoying, the likely causes are infinite, and I cannot stop thinking about what the actual cause could be. Worse, that I am not even a materialist/reductionist anymore and cannot satisfy myself with purely scientific explanations. There is no paradigm which could offer me a limited space of possible explanations and cancel out the rest.
On my last breakthrough, I encountered something different. The entities I had encountered before were all very friendly but on that trip, there was this fabric before me on which the colors and patterns were appearing, and then something tried to pop out of it, something angry, but it couldn't pierce through. The rest of the trip was fine, but I experienced eternity... it came to a point where I was unsure if I have ever experienced anything other than this, I started wondering if I have been in this state forever, it was eternity in a very real and literal sense... so... did I just experience all there was?
I haven't used used many drugs in my life, and I have a hard time tolerating most drugs (even lsd and mushrooms are a bit hard to enjoy). DMT has been the only big exception, and it has changed my whole life. I have struggled with crippling depression for over 14 years and I am still 26! DMT has... perhaps even cured my depression. I used to feel dead and exhausted all the time. I would wake up at 10 and stay in bed till 5 or 6 pm, often without eating anything. I have spent the greater part of the past 7 years just lying in bed. That has completely changed! Now I get up at 7, take no more than 15-30 minutes to get out of bed, and stay active the whole day. I take better care of myself, take my meals more regularly etc. A naive part of me wants to be rewarded for all this effort, I find it a bit funny! and that is the part which gets upset when denied that reward. But I have been rather obsessed with it, I cannot stop thinking about it even though I only do it once a week. Also, there is something I have been neglecting, my studies! So, perhaps I need to focus on that... but this is what I find annoying, the likely causes are infinite, and I cannot stop thinking about what the actual cause could be. Worse, that I am not even a materialist/reductionist anymore and cannot satisfy myself with purely scientific explanations. There is no paradigm which could offer me a limited space of possible explanations and cancel out the rest.
On my last breakthrough, I encountered something different. The entities I had encountered before were all very friendly but on that trip, there was this fabric before me on which the colors and patterns were appearing, and then something tried to pop out of it, something angry, but it couldn't pierce through. The rest of the trip was fine, but I experienced eternity... it came to a point where I was unsure if I have ever experienced anything other than this, I started wondering if I have been in this state forever, it was eternity in a very real and literal sense... so... did I just experience all there was?
