On Reading NGC_2264

[Intezam]

I cannot recommend Pendell's trilogy highly enough.
It covers everything from tea to ketamine, with lots of unexpected surprises along the way. It's practical, inspiring, esoteric, good-humored and beautifully illustrated. Try and get the hardcover if you can run to it, you'll be glad you did.

That surely sounds very interesting, thank you! :thumb_up:

 

[roninsina]

NGC_2264, I am very sorry you are having the experience that you are. I can relate as, at one point in my life, I spent several years in varying degrees of psychotic state. Much of what I experienced was rather analogous to what you report here.

One of the main vehicles of escape from this torment, was to view my physical brain and the pathways therein, as the only experiential interface I have, regardless of what or where I believed consciousness to be. Avoid the pathways that link to these interactions and it's possible to avoid the interactions. Simply put, don't respond or react to, or even think about any of these stimuli.

It took considerable time and practice and perhaps, some other new behaviors as a catalyst. I focused heavily on my bodily health and the quieting of my mind. Toward the end of this period I also enlisted the assistance a traditional shaman.

While much of what I encountered still feels very real to me after all these years, I can easily remain comfortably detached from the memories and fend off anything I feel I need to.

Strength and focus to you, NGC_2264

 

[Chan]

That surely sounds very interesting, thank you! :thumb_up:

You're welcome, Intezam.

The thing that sets him apart from other writers, for me at least, is that he writes in 4D: one paragraph can go from poetry snippet, to hard science, to mythology, to personal experience. Once you get into it, which doesn't take long, you wonder why more people don't adopt this technique. But maybe he's just really, really clever?

I don't think it matters what order you read the books in, it's not LOTR. The Nexiest stuff is in Vol. 3 "Pharmako/Gnosis" which most people (myself included) seem to start with and then work back from, but it's all wonderful. I have a feeling these books will be sought-after once they're no longer readily available.

Returning to NGC_2264 and his "final" post, and comments over there: one word stands out, ego.

It's him, his battles, his opinions, his theories, his doom, his warnings. Obviously any trip-report is written from the perspective of self, but he doesn't seem too big on dialectics. I think he should have reached out sooner. Ego alone could account for at least some of his ordeals, I think.

 

[djsnexus]

Very intense and very interesting!

I believe there are negative entities out there just like there are positive entities out there. When we take these substances we open ourselves up to something more. I feel that we need to be strong in our spirit and not be distracted our pulled off path when we are in those other realms.

There's so much to it, but in the end we need to remain grounded and understand that there is always a balance. Good and evil reside in all of us. It's a balance, when you trip and look in the mirror you will see it if you choose to acknowledge it. The key is to not fear it because it is you and you are in control of that balance.

I guess that's a little out there, but that's been my experience so far. I found that evil in my first LSD trip and it took a few trips to the mirror to face it and come to grips with it. Once I did that, there was a complete shift in the room and a weight lifted off of me.

Great post!

 

[332211]

*mods, please move this also to the original post, where I #hint hint# am not allowed to post yet, he really needs some love and compassion NOW*

Hi all,

seems like more and more people are getting the wake-up-call. At first, these "revelations" are really frightening. I don't want to go into the details, in my first aya experience "they" revealed similar knowledge to me. At first I was in shock, but now, with three weeks time to think and work, it lost its sharpness.

It will be the same for you. You have been blessed. Yes, you may feel aweful but you received the biggest gift of your entire life. And it needs constant work from here on to reveal the beauty of it.

We all are chosen for this experience at one point in our life and its shocking nature is the fundament for a transformation within ourselves. There are people, who did it before you and succeded. This is 50% of the way already, knowing that it is possible to overcome them.

You know their names, and one of them has birthday today. Jesus in the desert and the Buddha inder the Bodhi Tree are two of them. They learned, to love their enemy, to have compassion for a world and realms that are based on suffering. Rejoice, those entities chose you, because in their essence they are afraid of you, because you have one power they may not be able to train in their present form: Compassion with ALL beings, who all suffer in one way or the other.

This war monging entity for example: It feeds from the pain and suffering of all the people that suffer during war-time. But, it can never be satisfied. It is addicted to a source of energy, that can never satisfy it. Try to feel how it suffers, and what a torment it must be for it. It just wants to be happy, but it gets more and more pain.

And they lie to you and, as you already found out, weave you into illusions to stop you from developing compassion with them, so they can live from your suffering endlessly and suffer endlessly.

Know all things to be like this:

A mirage, a cloud castle,
A dream, an apparition,
Without essence, but with qualities
that can be seen.

Know all things to be like this:
As the moon in a bright sky
In some clear lake reflected,
Though to that lake
the moon has never moved.

Know all things to be like this:
As an echo that derives
From music, sounds, and weeping,
Yet in that echo is no melody.

Know all things to be like this:
As a magician makes illusions
Of horses, oxen, carts and other things,
Nothing is as it appears.
Samadhi Raja Sutra

There is help and advice: the bible, buddha's teachings, the kabbala and more. The latter has a very appealing idea about how the universe looked, before the big bang. There was only the pure light of the creator and a vessel. The vessel could contain all the light, but it was unable to distribute it. So the light left the vessel, but the vessel knew it needed the white light more than anything. But it could only be a perfect creation, when it had the ability to contain an infinite amount of it and, at the same time, give an infinite amount of it. And, as the creator wanted this vessel, us, to be perfect,together decided to do the only thing, that could bring the vessel to perfection. It exploded, and got separated from the perfect white light, to form the universe and everything we know.

The task of each of us is now, to overcome, what all these entities and all humans are suffering from: Our addiction to our own, egotistic illusions. Whenever we just want something for ourself, we part farther from the light. Whenever we do something selfless, we get closer to the light. Now, the closer you get to the light, the harder your tasks will become. But the harder it gets and the more you have to suffer, the more beautiful it will be, when you finished your transformation.

And through your experience you got your butt kicked to finally understand, where your way shall lead you. To perfection, to the reunion with the creator and the collective task, all humans have to fulfill once in one of their lifetimes: Become like Jesus Christ, the Buddha or something similar. Then you have fulfilled your part and you will wait, till all human beings got the message and acted accordingly. And then we all will live in paradise again.

Quite an ardous task, hmmm? It reminds me a bit of frodo, when elrond reveals his path to the Orodruin, to destroy the ring. At first, he lost all hope, but then, step after step, he fulfilled his duty. Friends may help you on your journey, but they can not carry you all the way. The only one, that will be ALWAYS there for you, with INFINITE love and care is the creator. Find your personal connection with him and, this is something that really has to come from your heart, ask HIM/HER/IT for help.

Be truthful that you can not end the journey without HHI and put your faith into HHI:

May all living beings be equanimous, free from attachment, anger and prejudice.
May all living beings be happy and have the causes for future happiness.
May all living beings be free from suffering and the causes for suffering.
May they never be separate from the ultimate happiness, free from all suffering.

citations come from:
viewonbuddhism.org

332211

 

[8x8state]

just referencing Mr chans 10 points for a guide...
guides aren't there waiting to guide...
at least id be very very suspicious if they were...
ime a guide or teacher is as surprised to find a student and as unprepared as we may be to receive one.
thanks.

 

[Rehoboth444]

Hi again, I don't want to get in the way of the discussion here, but I can try to offer some clarification on a few points. I apologize if my writeup comes across as biased, but as much as I strive to be objective, I suppose it's rather difficult for me to do so after all that I've been through. I'm well aware of this, and this is why I chose to post it on a forum first, rather than a static, non-interactive collection of trip reports. I don't think it's necessary to convince anyone of my point of view, though; if it provides some food for thought, sparks some interesting discussion (which it already has, it seems), or even just provides some token amount of entertainment value, then I feel like I've done my job.





This is definitely something that was missing from my experiences. I took what I thought were a sufficient amount of precautionary measures based on the information available to me, but obviously I was missing a lot of information. I was aware of such rituals, but in conversations with my guide I was told that these were "artifacts of a darker era" and that I was "already protected." Ugh. That should have been a huge red flag for me.



Only at the very end, really. Throughout all my interactions leading up to this, I would say my attitude was that of deference and submission on the basis of their apparent superiority and benevolence. My confrontation with them was the result of, among other things, realizing that this attitude was equivalent to blind faith in something that I didn't fully understand, which did not sit well with me, and I don't think is something that a truly benevolent entity would demand.



I did allude to this briefly, but I essentially believed in nothing, and if anything leaned more toward a materialist, neurological interpretation. I tentatively held a number of working hypotheses about what was going on, but none of which I considered satisfactory enough to fully invest in due to lack of empirical evidence (although in hindsight, I was much more invested in the idea of being aided by aliens/spirit beings than I wanted to admit). This is still more or less my attitude; I don't completely exclude any possibility.



So am I. These are merely cultural memes that are a frustratingly incomplete but convenient approximation to attempt to explain these things from the perspective of tiny, limited creatures like us.





This does not preclude the possibility that my extended exposure to these experiences, regardless of my means of getting there, has left me with some form of mental illness. It's quite likely, actually. Regarding paranoid delusions, I have experienced my share of them while in the midst of a challenging experience, but was always able to overcome them with various means of grounding myself. After a couple experiences with psilocybin, I was able to almost instantly spot the signs of anxiety and paranoia and dismiss them before they could whisk me away into a bad trip or "mind loop." It's possible, though, that I am in the midst of delusions much bigger than those, and I simply don't have the perspective to see outside of them. Again, I don't exclude any possibility.



Oh, I have no lack of ideas and opinions on the subject. For as much subjective interpretation as my posts are undoubtedly laced with, I've spared you from the majority of my speculation and "revelations" about these things. I do not consider these "revelations" to be trustworthy, though, and I don't think it would be productive for me to paint myself as even more crazy than I already have.

I joined this website because of your post. Non related research led me to a link to your warning post. I found it very objective , and appreciated your honesty. My research came from a totally different angle, biased. And your post was very insightful.

 

[Transform]

I joined this website because of your post. Non related research led me to a link to your warning post. I found it very objective , and appreciated your honesty. My research came from a totally different angle, biased. And your post was very insightful.

Hi and welcome to the Nexus!


We'd be intrigued to know what your non-related research angle was/is. Have you read any of the further discussion surrounding @NGC_2264's hypotheses? Here's one I've picked out, not entirely at random:

On Reading NGC_2264

I was enjoying reading NGC_2264's massive, somewhat controversial but very well-written post here and commenting on it, until it was teleported up and out of the new members area :( Anyway, perhaps if any other initiates would like to comment on it, they can do so here? I have a couple of...

forum.dmt-nexus.me

Also, it may be worth noting that NGC_2264 hasn't posted here under that name for over ten years.

You mentioned "biased" - what was it that made you select NGC_2264's post as resonating specially for you? Do you think that selection bias might provide positives or negatives in exploring your paths? How might you incorporate aspects of the surrounding discussion and critique into developing your views?

Thanks for bumping an excellent and fascinating discussion!

 

[Rehoboth444]

Hi and welcome to the Nexus!


We'd be intrigued to know what your non-related research angle was/is. Have you read any of the further discussion surrounding @NGC_2264's hypotheses? Here's one I've picked out, not entirely at random:

On Reading NGC_2264

I was enjoying reading NGC_2264's massive, somewhat controversial but very well-written post here and commenting on it, until it was teleported up and out of the new members area :( Anyway, perhaps if any other initiates would like to comment on it, they can do so here? I have a couple of...

forum.dmt-nexus.me

Also, it may be worth noting that NGC_2264 hasn't posted here under that name for over ten years.

You mentioned "biased" - what was it that made you select NGC_2264's post as resonating specially for you? Do you think that selection bias might provide positives or negatives in exploring your paths? How might you incorporate aspects of the surrounding discussion and critique into developing your views?

Thanks for bumping an excellent and fascinating discussion!

NGC_2264

“I strongly suspect that whatever it was that I encountered has been around for a very long time, playing the exact same game across human history (and the history of other non-human intelligent life). Based on striking parallels I can draw to my own experiences, it seems obvious to me that they have left their mark on human culture in the form of all kinds of religious, mythological, and occult portrayals, sometimes vilified, sometimes glorified, with varying degrees of accuracy and of course muddled with all manner of flawed human interpretation.”

Bear with me, as I explain to the best of my ability.

If I could sum up my research, and relate it to what resonated closest, it is the above passage from the original forum. But so many more.

My experience

“There is nothing new under the sun”

To be clear I have never taken DMT. Long ago (years) I used mushrooms (a handful of times) but I never had a bad experience with them, and tbh I can’t even recall the experience, I just know it was never negative.

It began with what I believed was a sleeping disorder. There was a period in my life, that sleep paralysis became a serious problem. The sleep paralysis would happen as soon as I began dozing off. It was a presence. I never saw it. But as soon as I was asleep, it was there and I knew I had fallen asleep. This presence was always malignant, and always the same. One incident, I felt a hand cover my mouth. I was certain someone broke, climbed onto my bed and covered my mouth. It was a physical restraining. It is interesting that this presence was the same presence. I began to know it, it became an indication that I was asleep, and I had to teach myself to peel open my eyes, focus on something in my room. Sometimes, I thought I was awake even focused on what I thought was my room, only to see something was not quite right, (ie. a lamp I don’t own, a chair that wasn’t there when I went to bed) and then hear the entity close to my ear, a dark, deep bellowing laugh behind me.

NGC_2264

“My first hyperspace encounter (which I'm not going to elaborate on here lest I turn this from an essay into a novella) ended with a strong sensation of something being "uploaded" into my mind.”

This is going to be graphic so I apologize but I will mention it because it’s the only time I recall a different entity, and I’m pretty sure it was my VERY FIRST incident before it became a regular occurrence with the familiar presence/entity.

I was living in Seoul, South Korea when this all began. I was sleeping, and began dreaming, in my room was a large snake, I mean massive like anaconda. It first was moving around the room away from me, on the walls and I just watched it. I knew something was going to happen the minute I lost sight of it. I kept watching it but before I knew it, I couldn’t see it anymore, I had lost it, then, In an instant, All of the sudden my arms were bound to my side. It was wrapped around me, squeezing, and sexually assaulted me…. from behind…. I felt like when you have the wind knocked out of you, lost my breath. This happened probably a decade ago and I still remember it. This was the beginning of everything that transpired.

During this time, in my personal life, I was having a lot of unresolved issues and attributed it to that, dismissed it as night terrors, stress, being in a foreign country. The thing is, I never think about snakes. I am not afraid of snakes, I don’t love them, I just never think about them, know nothing about them other than they exist, I don’t even think I have seen one in person. What I’m saying is It was so out of place in my life and even my subconscious.

After this initial incident with the assault by the snake, the sleep paralysis was regular. It was almost like something entered me and could now occupy me, enter my dreams at anytime. I never saw the snake again but it opened the door to this dark presence.

These things were not the same, but their source was the same.

Please know, I am speaking from a personal experience, and am not trying to cast a wide net on any said entheogens, OBE’s, spirituality etc.. But I will attempt to explain how I ended up here…eventually. Haha.

That being said, I know myself. I know my thoughts, I know when I’m lying to myself, I know a dream, I know a nightmare, my intuition has been right at times, wrong at times. These things I encountered were not of me. These are autonomous, in my case, there is something higher than them that gave them a green light. Until that, they were foreign to my conscious and unconscious. And I believe, in my case, they were uninvited at my conscious level.

COMMON DMT ENTITIES, A POSSIBLE LINK

aliens

Some things I came across when reading about my “sleep condition” did not make sense.

In a 2005 article titled “Alien abduction claims explained. Sleep paralysis, false memories involved”

Abduction stories are strikingly similar. Victims wake up and find themselves paralyzed, unable to move or cry out for help. The abductee’s heart pounds violently. There’s lots of probing in the alien ship. Instruments are inserted in their noses, navels, or other orifices. It’s painful. Sometimes sexual intercourse occurs. Then it’s over, after seconds or minutes. The intruders vanish. Victims are back in their own beds and can move again. These people always ended up back in their bed. The general consensus among academics was that alien abductions were nothing but sleep paralysis. Many books claim to support these “Abducted: How People Come to Believe They Were Kidnapped by Aliens,” published by the Harvard University Press.

To me, this is not acceptable. I knew this was different. And suspect people who were “abducted” had a similar experience that was very real to them. These entities are autonomous. They aren’t hallucinations or even a figment of ones imagination.

Fast forward- 2023.

“Department of Defense declassifies reports of anomalous activity and UFO injuries”

“The Department of Defense just declassified a new UFO report about Kona Blue, a proposed Department of Homeland Security (DHS) program that would have given congressional oversight to alleged secret UFO recovery and reverse engineering programs. The proposal was ultimately denied, but reading it provides an intriguing look at the secret UAP knowledge that many believed the U.S. government had. The report references areas of high anomalous activity, dematerialization and remote viewing.”

Does this not disprove the abduction sleep/paralysis theory?


Jesters, Clowns, Tricksters

Ancient and found in every culture

A little background on me. I grew up in New Mexico. I went to school in Santa Fe. For a period of time during my youth. I lived outside a place called Sky City. My mother worked in healthcare in a remote Native American village called Acoma. Before that, we lived in Keams Canyon, Arizona, where she served the Hopi population. Growing up, all of my pupils were Hopi and some Navajo. I was exposed to very different cultures and ways of life at a very young age. I would attend local festivals, pow-wows, gathering of nations, etc. I remember a festival that involved something similar to the German Krampus festival/parade. A “kachina clown” known as Koshari would chase people, scare kids etc. Hopi Koshari Kachina “The Pueblo clowns (sometimes called sacred clowns) are jesters or tricksters in the Pueblo religion. It is a generic term, as there are a number of these figures in the ritual practice of the Pueblo people. Each has a unique role; belonging to separate kivas (secret societies or confraternities) and each has a name that differs from one mesa or pueblo to another.”

ANCIENT DOCUMENTS

END PART 1

This will require a part 2.
If anyone is interested and made it to this! Let me know, I will continue. Thanks for allowing me to share the beginning.

 

[Transform]

Thanks for sharing. I'm all up for hearing the next installment, and I'm pretty sure some others among the forum members are too.

NGC_2264

“I strongly suspect that whatever it was that I encountered has been around for a very long time, playing the exact same game across human history (and the history of other non-human intelligent life). Based on striking parallels I can draw to my own experiences, it seems obvious to me that they have left their mark on human culture in the form of all kinds of religious, mythological, and occult portrayals, sometimes vilified, sometimes glorified, with varying degrees of accuracy and of course muddled with all manner of flawed human interpretation.”

Bear with me, as I explain to the best of my ability.

If I could sum up my research, and relate it to what resonated closest, it is the above passage from the original forum. But so many more.

My experience

“There is nothing new under the sun”

To be clear I have never taken DMT. Long ago (years) I used mushrooms (a handful of times) but I never had a bad experience with them, and tbh I can’t even recall the experience, I just know it was never negative.

It began with what I believed was a sleeping disorder. There was a period in my life, that sleep paralysis became a serious problem. The sleep paralysis would happen as soon as I began dozing off. It was a presence. I never saw it. But as soon as I was asleep, it was there and I knew I had fallen asleep. This presence was always malignant, and always the same. One incident, I felt a hand cover my mouth. I was certain someone broke, climbed onto my bed and covered my mouth. It was a physical restraining. It is interesting that this presence was the same presence. I began to know it, it became an indication that I was asleep, and I had to teach myself to peel open my eyes, focus on something in my room. Sometimes, I thought I was awake even focused on what I thought was my room, only to see something was not quite right, (ie. a lamp I don’t own, a chair that wasn’t there when I went to bed) and then hear the entity close to my ear, a dark, deep bellowing laugh behind me.

NGC_2264

“My first hyperspace encounter (which I'm not going to elaborate on here lest I turn this from an essay into a novella) ended with a strong sensation of something being "uploaded" into my mind.”

This is going to be graphic so I apologize but I will mention it because it’s the only time I recall a different entity, and I’m pretty sure it was my VERY FIRST incident before it became a regular occurrence with the familiar presence/entity.

I was living in Seoul, South Korea when this all began. I was sleeping, and began dreaming, in my room was a large snake, I mean massive like anaconda. It first was moving around the room away from me, on the walls and I just watched it. I knew something was going to happen the minute I lost sight of it. I kept watching it but before I knew it, I couldn’t see it anymore, I had lost it, then, In an instant, All of the sudden my arms were bound to my side. It was wrapped around me, squeezing, and sexually assaulted me…. from behind…. I felt like when you have the wind knocked out of you, lost my breath. This happened probably a decade ago and I still remember it. This was the beginning of everything that transpired.

During this time, in my personal life, I was having a lot of unresolved issues and attributed it to that, dismissed it as night terrors, stress, being in a foreign country. The thing is, I never think about snakes. I am not afraid of snakes, I don’t love them, I just never think about them, know nothing about them other than they exist, I don’t even think I have seen one in person. What I’m saying is It was so out of place in my life and even my subconscious.

After this initial incident with the assault by the snake, the sleep paralysis was regular. It was almost like something entered me and could now occupy me, enter my dreams at anytime. I never saw the snake again but it opened the door to this dark presence.

These things were not the same, but their source was the same.

Please know, I am speaking from a personal experience, and am not trying to cast a wide net on any said entheogens, OBE’s, spirituality etc.. But I will attempt to explain how I ended up here…eventually. Haha.

That being said, I know myself. I know my thoughts, I know when I’m lying to myself, I know a dream, I know a nightmare, my intuition has been right at times, wrong at times. These things I encountered were not of me. These are autonomous, in my case, there is something higher than them that gave them a green light. Until that, they were foreign to my conscious and unconscious. And I believe, in my case, they were uninvited at my conscious level.

COMMON DMT ENTITIES, A POSSIBLE LINK

aliens

Some things I came across when reading about my “sleep condition” did not make sense.

In a 2005 article titled “Alien abduction claims explained. Sleep paralysis, false memories involved”

Abduction stories are strikingly similar. Victims wake up and find themselves paralyzed, unable to move or cry out for help. The abductee’s heart pounds violently. There’s lots of probing in the alien ship. Instruments are inserted in their noses, navels, or other orifices. It’s painful. Sometimes sexual intercourse occurs. Then it’s over, after seconds or minutes. The intruders vanish. Victims are back in their own beds and can move again. These people always ended up back in their bed. The general consensus among academics was that alien abductions were nothing but sleep paralysis. Many books claim to support these “Abducted: How People Come to Believe They Were Kidnapped by Aliens,” published by the Harvard University Press.

To me, this is not acceptable. I knew this was different. And suspect people who were “abducted” had a similar experience that was very real to them. These entities are autonomous. They aren’t hallucinations or even a figment of ones imagination.

Fast forward- 2023.

“Department of Defense declassifies reports of anomalous activity and UFO injuries”

“The Department of Defense just declassified a new UFO report about Kona Blue, a proposed Department of Homeland Security (DHS) program that would have given congressional oversight to alleged secret UFO recovery and reverse engineering programs. The proposal was ultimately denied, but reading it provides an intriguing look at the secret UAP knowledge that many believed the U.S. government had. The report references areas of high anomalous activity, dematerialization and remote viewing.”

Does this not disprove the abduction sleep/paralysis theory?


Jesters, Clowns, Tricksters

Ancient and found in every culture

A little background on me. I grew up in New Mexico. I went to school in Santa Fe. For a period of time during my youth. I lived outside a place called Sky City. My mother worked in healthcare in a remote Native American village called Acoma. Before that, we lived in Keams Canyon, Arizona, where she served the Hopi population. Growing up, all of my pupils were Hopi and some Navajo. I was exposed to very different cultures and ways of life at a very young age. I would attend local festivals, pow-wows, gathering of nations, etc. I remember a festival that involved something similar to the German Krampus festival/parade. A “kachina clown” known as Koshari would chase people, scare kids etc. Hopi Koshari Kachina “The Pueblo clowns (sometimes called sacred clowns) are jesters or tricksters in the Pueblo religion. It is a generic term, as there are a number of these figures in the ritual practice of the Pueblo people. Each has a unique role; belonging to separate kivas (secret societies or confraternities) and each has a name that differs from one mesa or pueblo to another.”

ANCIENT DOCUMENTS

END PART 1

This will require a part 2.
If anyone is interested and made it to this! Let me know, I will continue. Thanks for allowing me to share the beginning.

You definitely got me at the kachina clowns - this is something that resonates very strongly for me.

Did you ever encounter any of the indigenous shamanic practices while in Korea, btw?

 

[Rehoboth444]

Working on it. Tonight!