I´ve got to keep this short because i still got some weekend shopping to do, but last night i had one of the most fantastic ayahuasca experiences ever.
I added some fresh copelandia cyanensis, around 15 grams or so and i used 50 grams of chacruna, a standardised liquid caapi extract as well as some yellow caapi vine that was boiled for almost the entire day.
The total amount of caapi would have equaled around 80 grams.
I also took some herbs and theobromine to make me feel physically comfartable.
The brew started working 20 minutes after taking it. It was amazing. I never had felt so warm before, maybe because of the herbs and maybe because of the large amount of caapi. It was as if the DMT reality was like a warm pool in wich i was being completely submerged. But there also was something else that i never had felt before. Multiple times i had a feeling simmilar to an OBE, but this was different; i rather felt as if my body imploded, than that i just left it. My body just imploded and dissapeared at some moments. I imploded with my body. It was as if something inside of me was sucking a vacuum, and then i just went `poof´...implosion...gone..stillness. Untill i slowly emerged again out of that state.
And this time it was also very healing. Instead of just being in a magical space with spiraliing fractals or elfbeings, instead of just being in an other world, for a great while i was being drawn to a choatic whirl of thoughts, emotions and impressions. For a minute i thought:`this sucks, i want to see beautyfull things and all i get is this chaos´. But then it doomed to me that this chaos was my inner world, my desires and stuff that i´m carying with me. I just saw and experienced how there is a great hole in my soul, like a giant scar, that needs to be taken care of, that needs to be nourished. The chaos it created was a desire to heal, to ment.
And then i felt the beauty of this life, the web of energy and all the love i´m surrounded with and i felt such gratitude.
I just knew again..how beautyfull this great adventure realy is and how all the dark and hard parts of it just belong to journeying this path. Sometimes you just need to be reminded of that greater picture.
I added some fresh copelandia cyanensis, around 15 grams or so and i used 50 grams of chacruna, a standardised liquid caapi extract as well as some yellow caapi vine that was boiled for almost the entire day.
The total amount of caapi would have equaled around 80 grams.
I also took some herbs and theobromine to make me feel physically comfartable.
The brew started working 20 minutes after taking it. It was amazing. I never had felt so warm before, maybe because of the herbs and maybe because of the large amount of caapi. It was as if the DMT reality was like a warm pool in wich i was being completely submerged. But there also was something else that i never had felt before. Multiple times i had a feeling simmilar to an OBE, but this was different; i rather felt as if my body imploded, than that i just left it. My body just imploded and dissapeared at some moments. I imploded with my body. It was as if something inside of me was sucking a vacuum, and then i just went `poof´...implosion...gone..stillness. Untill i slowly emerged again out of that state.
And this time it was also very healing. Instead of just being in a magical space with spiraliing fractals or elfbeings, instead of just being in an other world, for a great while i was being drawn to a choatic whirl of thoughts, emotions and impressions. For a minute i thought:`this sucks, i want to see beautyfull things and all i get is this chaos´. But then it doomed to me that this chaos was my inner world, my desires and stuff that i´m carying with me. I just saw and experienced how there is a great hole in my soul, like a giant scar, that needs to be taken care of, that needs to be nourished. The chaos it created was a desire to heal, to ment.
And then i felt the beauty of this life, the web of energy and all the love i´m surrounded with and i felt such gratitude.
I just knew again..how beautyfull this great adventure realy is and how all the dark and hard parts of it just belong to journeying this path. Sometimes you just need to be reminded of that greater picture.
