still half there as i write this....sorry for any lack of cohesion...
across the street from my happy home is a beautiful park. within 60 seconds of leaving my front door i can have a towel spread across a patch of vibrant green grass in the dappled shade of a liquid amber tree.
this is a special place to me....
i have had many "reconnecting dreams" in this green bed. an infinite blue sky above me is arced like a great bowl and my eyes follow from the pastel hues of the horizon to the dark azure membrane that separates our atmosphere from the limitless cosmos itself. this is a holy place where "the work" reveals itself to me in a way i can bring into the density.
i have my hand-carved Maple VG filled with a delicious "dreamer's blend" of calea, wild lettuce, blue vervain, california poppy, african dream herb and....the molecule that teaches me with great love. i have come to "dream" and have a conversation. this blend, i have found, is the best for this type of work.
my past two weeks of steady MAOI consumption have rendered me as wide open as a soul could hope to be and i have the most blissful countenance imagineable. though i still have the random "love bliss wow oh wow laughing with amazement" journey, i find myself more and more simply being almost like a statue of the buddha....slightly upturned corners of the mouth....complete surrender....fingers in the classic "thumb to index finger" mudra...
though i have never seen or read any "harry potter" stories, i am familiar enough through others to know that i can use it as analogy here. i feel as if i were a second-year student in a fantastical unversity of magic. the first year was simply spent with jaw agape and eyes popping out of my skull at the impossibility of it all. now, a year later, i am starting to remember why i am here in the first place: to learn magic. though i am still "blown away" by the perpetual display of deeper and more amazing magic, i am more and more capable of "paying attention" and learning my craft.
i hope to one day develop the ability to call this world to me and work in both places concurrently.
the beauty of the GVG is that you can SEE your effective dose. whenever i use one of my other "changa conveyors" it is a matter of feel...a deeeeeeeep inhale into the abdomen and at a certain point i feel a tingle deep in my lungs and i just know i've broken through.
today was no different...
the definition of "things" in this dream breakthrough place is beyond the 3-dimensions we can know here. it is as if you can see the entirety of a thing AND BE IT all at the same time. you more than simply see something....you KNOW it....intimately.
and so was the case as i stood atop a great aircraft. a "balloon" like a blimp but with a slightly different shape and wings affixed as well. almost a nostalgic motif to it...the paint...the colors...the uniforms of my friends....and yet, beyond futuristic in it's advanced technology. writing on the body and wings....i can see it as clearly and slowly as i want.
i will begin journeying with a pad and trying to scribble some of this glyph writing they are letting me study as long as i care to.
we are moving through clouds. the cold air is brisk and LIFE itself is the overall tone and point of my lesson. it is a wonderful, exciting journey through clouds, i am told. the bracing wind of newness and gratitude to soar in it. there is a "down there" but it is far beyond sight and the clouds we fly throuhg offer occassional pockets of clarity into a brief distance that is almost all too briefly consumed as we brave onward. this is life. i have no idea what lies ahead but right now....RIGHT NOW AND RIGHT HERE... i am SO ALIVE!! my friends face is smiling at me...she is a beautiful blonde girl not unlike ones you've seen painted on the sides of B52 Bombers in the second world war. again: retro meets future...
when i drop down into the second layer. the layer of "thoughtchitecture"....the almost ethereal, heavenly visions begin. it is something i was not expecting....
souls. lights. no body or corporeal form and yet....and yet....i know each and every one purely from their energy. one is my father. one is a child i new in elementary school but have never seen since....they are all a part of my life here and eternal there. before i can even begin to try to chew on a "heaven" scenario, i am among them now and my attention is drawn to a long line of other light beings....each one has something on it's "arm".
it is like a human body only deflated. like a suit that has been exhausted and removed. all other light beings gathered watching are radiating the deepest compassion i have ever felt and i immediately know why.
these are souls "returning". there time here done, they have returned...but unsuccessful. hence the compassion. it starts to make sense...
and before i can completely piece it together i see other light beings going "down" with an extra blue light at their center. i watch one decend and as it does this blue light grows until it envelopes the light being entirely.
then everything has stopped and it is dark. the dark blue begins to glow in this darkness and the darkness itself starts to change into the peach/gold/pink color i always see in this part of my journeys. the color is like a sunrise (or a uterus?) and while i am warmed and nurtured in it's ineffible beauty, i have failed to notice that the dark blue light and taken on the form of an embryo...
it is life and all pieces snap together in a fraction of an instant. inside this shell we need to exist here there is a light being. within all of us. our challenge is to wake up to this fact before this shell expires. almost as if it were a craft unto itself, the human body is capable of bringing about a transformation in this world if the perfect light inside of it can wake up to itself and begin operating it.
i'm back in "heaven" now and i understand clearly why the compassion is so palpable. this job of waking up and making progress with our "ships" is beyond difficult and to even brave trying commands the highest respect and compassion from those who stay on the outside. this truly is important work..
like an overhead map i am staring down at our world and i see a soul awaken in the form of a light that turns on in the darkness. IT SPREADS SO FAR!! one light..... it illuminates so much for so many others around it. it makes it THAT much easier for THEM to wake up... this is a domino-effect i am witnessing. i am suddenly filled beyond words with hope and love. WE CAN AWAKEN!!
such a powerful lesson....i walked to my local health-food store and got a salad to eat (i'm always STARVING after a deep one..). while in the store i became acutely aware of how much i WANTED. not just food or bodily necessities...but i WANTED to connect with people....i WANTED to create a healing center....i WANTED to be in love with everyone....i WANTED to write this down while it was still vibrant in my mind....i WANTED to ....etc...etc....
and one by one i consciously began letting go of all wants, until i was standing in the middle of the drink aisle in what could only be described as supreme bliss. i have everything i need in every moment....like that beautiful aircraft flying through the clouds.....the moment is SO alive.....more than anytning we could ever WANT.....
this will be a tough one to integrate, but i know it's what needs doing....
LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
across the street from my happy home is a beautiful park. within 60 seconds of leaving my front door i can have a towel spread across a patch of vibrant green grass in the dappled shade of a liquid amber tree.
this is a special place to me....
i have had many "reconnecting dreams" in this green bed. an infinite blue sky above me is arced like a great bowl and my eyes follow from the pastel hues of the horizon to the dark azure membrane that separates our atmosphere from the limitless cosmos itself. this is a holy place where "the work" reveals itself to me in a way i can bring into the density.
i have my hand-carved Maple VG filled with a delicious "dreamer's blend" of calea, wild lettuce, blue vervain, california poppy, african dream herb and....the molecule that teaches me with great love. i have come to "dream" and have a conversation. this blend, i have found, is the best for this type of work.
my past two weeks of steady MAOI consumption have rendered me as wide open as a soul could hope to be and i have the most blissful countenance imagineable. though i still have the random "love bliss wow oh wow laughing with amazement" journey, i find myself more and more simply being almost like a statue of the buddha....slightly upturned corners of the mouth....complete surrender....fingers in the classic "thumb to index finger" mudra...
though i have never seen or read any "harry potter" stories, i am familiar enough through others to know that i can use it as analogy here. i feel as if i were a second-year student in a fantastical unversity of magic. the first year was simply spent with jaw agape and eyes popping out of my skull at the impossibility of it all. now, a year later, i am starting to remember why i am here in the first place: to learn magic. though i am still "blown away" by the perpetual display of deeper and more amazing magic, i am more and more capable of "paying attention" and learning my craft.
i hope to one day develop the ability to call this world to me and work in both places concurrently.
the beauty of the GVG is that you can SEE your effective dose. whenever i use one of my other "changa conveyors" it is a matter of feel...a deeeeeeeep inhale into the abdomen and at a certain point i feel a tingle deep in my lungs and i just know i've broken through.
today was no different...
the definition of "things" in this dream breakthrough place is beyond the 3-dimensions we can know here. it is as if you can see the entirety of a thing AND BE IT all at the same time. you more than simply see something....you KNOW it....intimately.
and so was the case as i stood atop a great aircraft. a "balloon" like a blimp but with a slightly different shape and wings affixed as well. almost a nostalgic motif to it...the paint...the colors...the uniforms of my friends....and yet, beyond futuristic in it's advanced technology. writing on the body and wings....i can see it as clearly and slowly as i want.
i will begin journeying with a pad and trying to scribble some of this glyph writing they are letting me study as long as i care to.
we are moving through clouds. the cold air is brisk and LIFE itself is the overall tone and point of my lesson. it is a wonderful, exciting journey through clouds, i am told. the bracing wind of newness and gratitude to soar in it. there is a "down there" but it is far beyond sight and the clouds we fly throuhg offer occassional pockets of clarity into a brief distance that is almost all too briefly consumed as we brave onward. this is life. i have no idea what lies ahead but right now....RIGHT NOW AND RIGHT HERE... i am SO ALIVE!! my friends face is smiling at me...she is a beautiful blonde girl not unlike ones you've seen painted on the sides of B52 Bombers in the second world war. again: retro meets future...
when i drop down into the second layer. the layer of "thoughtchitecture"....the almost ethereal, heavenly visions begin. it is something i was not expecting....
souls. lights. no body or corporeal form and yet....and yet....i know each and every one purely from their energy. one is my father. one is a child i new in elementary school but have never seen since....they are all a part of my life here and eternal there. before i can even begin to try to chew on a "heaven" scenario, i am among them now and my attention is drawn to a long line of other light beings....each one has something on it's "arm".
it is like a human body only deflated. like a suit that has been exhausted and removed. all other light beings gathered watching are radiating the deepest compassion i have ever felt and i immediately know why.
these are souls "returning". there time here done, they have returned...but unsuccessful. hence the compassion. it starts to make sense...
and before i can completely piece it together i see other light beings going "down" with an extra blue light at their center. i watch one decend and as it does this blue light grows until it envelopes the light being entirely.
then everything has stopped and it is dark. the dark blue begins to glow in this darkness and the darkness itself starts to change into the peach/gold/pink color i always see in this part of my journeys. the color is like a sunrise (or a uterus?) and while i am warmed and nurtured in it's ineffible beauty, i have failed to notice that the dark blue light and taken on the form of an embryo...
it is life and all pieces snap together in a fraction of an instant. inside this shell we need to exist here there is a light being. within all of us. our challenge is to wake up to this fact before this shell expires. almost as if it were a craft unto itself, the human body is capable of bringing about a transformation in this world if the perfect light inside of it can wake up to itself and begin operating it.
i'm back in "heaven" now and i understand clearly why the compassion is so palpable. this job of waking up and making progress with our "ships" is beyond difficult and to even brave trying commands the highest respect and compassion from those who stay on the outside. this truly is important work..
like an overhead map i am staring down at our world and i see a soul awaken in the form of a light that turns on in the darkness. IT SPREADS SO FAR!! one light..... it illuminates so much for so many others around it. it makes it THAT much easier for THEM to wake up... this is a domino-effect i am witnessing. i am suddenly filled beyond words with hope and love. WE CAN AWAKEN!!
such a powerful lesson....i walked to my local health-food store and got a salad to eat (i'm always STARVING after a deep one..). while in the store i became acutely aware of how much i WANTED. not just food or bodily necessities...but i WANTED to connect with people....i WANTED to create a healing center....i WANTED to be in love with everyone....i WANTED to write this down while it was still vibrant in my mind....i WANTED to ....etc...etc....
and one by one i consciously began letting go of all wants, until i was standing in the middle of the drink aisle in what could only be described as supreme bliss. i have everything i need in every moment....like that beautiful aircraft flying through the clouds.....the moment is SO alive.....more than anytning we could ever WANT.....
this will be a tough one to integrate, but i know it's what needs doing....
LOVE AND GRATITUDE!!
