Patience is a virtue

[Grizzly Adams]

Well, I have been a member here for over two years, and I believe that I am ready now to make my introduction essay.

I am an Ayahuasca enthusiast. I had planned on having my first Ayahuasca y San Pedro experience in the Sacred Valley of the Incas in 2013. Having done a ton of research, I decided on a specific retreat. When things were close to being finalized, I began to notice some things that did not seem right. I became suspicious and pulled out of that retreat. I was a bit discouraged after that. I thought that was my only chance. I took the money I had saved for that trip and put it into scuba diving. That kept me distracted for awhile. After some time, I started trying to find any Santo Daime in the US. Before I really could find any, I came to realize that I could do it all myself. That was a bit empowering. I have been working on a brew for over 6 months now. I have done a lot of research and am very confident that I have done good, but I am waiting to become a full member before I partake. I really want to be able to have some conversations with other Ayahuasca enthusiasts in the Ayahuasca forum. Therefore, I am taking my time. This is my first time with any enthogen, other than some mushrooms back in high school once.

I don’t want to come across as some eliteist, but I don’t have any interest in doing any extractions to smoke or vape DMT. That is not my thing. I don’t even smoke Cannabis. For that, medical grade Sativa edibles is it and I rarely do that.

I come from a Christian background. I also had a history with alcohol. In 2000, I quit drinking and started going to church. I bounced from Baptist to Lutheran, I was raised Lutheran, to Baptist, to Pentecostal to Catholic. I went through everything that I had to become Catholic, came into full communion with the church. I got very involved with Youth Ministry and also helped with the RCIA program for several years. I got so involved that the Priest appointed me as chairman of the Catholic Education committee.

Before I started in the direction to the Catholic Church, I was in a Christian book store and I came across this book on fasting. Until then, I only knew of fasting for medical reasons. I would fast one day a week. I would also fast for 3 days occassionally. A couple of times, I even fasted for 7 days. Fasting was a form of prayer. It was always done with deliberate intent and meditation/prayer. I have had several mystical experiences, so when I came to the point where I turned away from Christianity, I knew that I could never be an atheist. There was a spirit realm. I knew that with every fiber of my being.

The religion that I had been in love with, was not making sense to me anymore. I was never mad at God or turned my back on him. It just did not make sense to me anymore. And It did not happen all once.

Two priests, that I was close with, told me that the Old Testament was not to be taken literally. They were not realistic accounts of what really happened, but stories that were handed down through oral history to a time of written history to teach us how to live.

I knew that the earth was millioms or billions of years old. I began to contemplate, very deeply, the vastness of the universe and could not imagine that we were alone. Then I discovered the Disclosure Project. I also learned the truth of Cannabis. I was appalled that he Church had condemned herbal medicine as withcraft, but promoted the wearing of a crows mask and bloodletting for healing. If the Church was guided by the Holy Spirit, how could there have been so many lies that the Church taught as truth. I also began to study a lot of the scientific information on DNA evidence of evolution. Then I learned about DMT and Iboga. I watched The Spirit Molecule.

In the end, scientific evidence trumped faith.

So here I am now, to become part of this community.

I feel that, in my essay, I needed to keep it short, or I would try to write a book. It may be a bit discombabled for that reason, so if anyone has questions, please feel free to ask.

 

[DarkMedicine]

I too grew up in a VERY Christian home. My father was a Pentecostal preacher. I had always had issues with the Bible and the entire idea of Christianity. It took me many years of internal struggle from my early teens on in to my twenties to really be comfortable with dropping Christianity entirely. And just like you, I never felt mad at God or anything like that. I didn't want to disbelieve the way I was raised but upon closer inspection I could not continue that path. And I too had spiritual experiences before DMT. I have seen miraculous healings in real life. I have seen dozens of humans in trances and altered states in church. I have even experienced these states as a Pentecostal Christian. So when I finally realized that it was all not quite right I could not be an atheist. I began searching. Then I found DMT. My efforts were greatly rewarded. Then I found Ayahuasca and my expectations were entirely blown away. Then I realized the power and spirituality were always there. It wasn't the church or the rituals that produced the effects I had seen but it was the power inside of all of us, inside of everything. The very power that regulates the universe and allows for consciousness to even become manifest. There are many ways to tap in to it. From Pentecostal traditions to smoking a purified hallucinogenic substance in your living room.

Ayahuasca is powerful medicine. You will not regret the wait. I did it the first time alone on the side of a bluff looking out into the vast delta below. I strongly recommend being outdoors and doing it at night time. And embrace the darkness that comes from it if it comes. You must accept the "good" with the "bad". Once you accept it, it isn't really "bad" after all. Just misunderstood and abused.

Travel light and travel deep.

 

[travsha]

I wouldnt say I have a ton of experience with Ayahuasca, but it is a passion of mine and I have been drinking it regularly for a few years now. Even after a few years I still feel like I have only touched the tip of the iceberg.

I have brewed my own, but I usually sit with different shamans who make the tea - I think both experiences can be valuable. I drink in Peru and elsewhere. San Pedro is maybe my favorite medicine, but Ayahuasca is becoming closer and closer to my heart. If you ever have any questions about Ayahuasca it is something I love talking about. There is also a good website called forums.ayahuasca.com which is good for getting tips on how your brew might have gone wrong if you think you cooked a poor batch. Honestly though - if you start with quality materials and keep the method simple you should get a good end product. I think people sometimes try to do these fancy recipes and end up making poor brews because they havent mastered the basics yet....

A lot of people seem to really benefit from microdosing Ayahuasca when they first start out. You can do it with or without the chacruna/chaliponga - as long as you have the caapi then you will have good medicine for microdosing. This can be a nice and gentle introduction to her medicine - helps you build trust with her before you go deep, and trust is really important if you decide to do your own ceremonies. As the above poster mentioned - going with the flow and accepting whatever medicine she has for you in that ceremony is the best way to go.

Its good that you have fasting experience too - that is a very powerful tool by itself, but is also a nice way to work with Ayahuasca. Some people like fasting, and some jsut restrict their diet - but it can be helpful knowing you prepared well for your ceremony!

Thanks for sharing your personal story - it can be powerful to learn you dont have to turn your back on God just because you disagree with the church or even the Bible. You can find God in yourself or in the trees or the wind....

 

[Grizzly Adams]

I too grew up in a VERY Christian home. My father was a Pentecostal preacher. I had always had issues with the Bible and the entire idea of Christianity. It took me many years of internal struggle from my early teens on in to my twenties to really be comfortable with dropping Christianity entirely. And just like you, I never felt mad at God or anything like that. I didn't want to disbelieve the way I was raised but upon closer inspection I could not continue that path. And I too had spiritual experiences before DMT. I have seen miraculous healings in real life. I have seen dozens of humans in trances and altered states in church. I have even experienced these states as a Pentecostal Christian. So when I finally realized that it was all not quite right I could not be an atheist. I began searching. Then I found DMT. My efforts were greatly rewarded. Then I found Ayahuasca and my expectations were entirely blown away. Then I realized the power and spirituality were always there. It wasn't the church or the rituals that produced the effects I had seen but it was the power inside of all of us, inside of everything. The very power that regulates the universe and allows for consciousness to even become manifest. There are many ways to tap in to it. From Pentecostal traditions to smoking a purified hallucinogenic substance in your living room.

Ayahuasca is powerful medicine. You will not regret the wait. I did it the first time alone on the side of a bluff looking out into the vast delta below. I strongly recommend being outdoors and doing it at night time. And embrace the darkness that comes from it if it comes. You must accept the "good" with the "bad". Once you accept it, it isn't really "bad" after all. Just misunderstood and abused.

Travel light and travel deep.

It had been a long journey for me for becoming a non-practicing Christian, to finding out about DMT and finally having access to it. Soon enough, I will finally partake.

From what I have read of accounts of those who consume ayahuasca, somewhat reflect the battle of good and evil. What Christianity calls angels and demons, cannot be defined, so many call them entities and Christianity have villainized the nature of dark entities as a scare tactic. From what you and others describe, is when that dark experience is embraced with openness, so one can see what is to be revealed, When acknowledged and accepted, properly integrated, leads to living a better life, loving and respecting others more.

Outdoors and at night, would require a campfire. I love that idea. I was planning on renting a cabin and taking great care with the set and setting. I planned on staying inside, incase things go sideways, then I can atleast keep it private. The wrong attention, in that state of being, would not be good. But I do own 40 acres way out in the country, and a campfire in the woods with absolute privacy is very doable.

One of my favorite salutations has been, "Journey Mercy's and GOD's Speed". I hope that I can tweek and adapt that as to my current beliefs.

 

[Grizzly Adams]

I wouldnt say I have a ton of experience with Ayahuasca, but it is a passion of mine and I have been drinking it regularly for a few years now. Even after a few years I still feel like I have only touched the tip of the iceberg.

I have brewed my own, but I usually sit with different shamans who make the tea - I think both experiences can be valuable. I drink in Peru and elsewhere. San Pedro is maybe my favorite medicine, but Ayahuasca is becoming closer and closer to my heart. If you ever have any questions about Ayahuasca it is something I love talking about. There is also a good website called forums.ayahuasca.com which is good for getting tips on how your brew might have gone wrong if you think you cooked a poor batch. Honestly though - if you start with quality materials and keep the method simple you should get a good end product. I think people sometimes try to do these fancy recipes and end up making poor brews because they havent mastered the basics yet....

A lot of people seem to really benefit from microdosing Ayahuasca when they first start out. You can do it with or without the chacruna/chaliponga - as long as you have the caapi then you will have good medicine for microdosing. This can be a nice and gentle introduction to her medicine - helps you build trust with her before you go deep, and trust is really important if you decide to do your own ceremonies. As the above poster mentioned - going with the flow and accepting whatever medicine she has for you in that ceremony is the best way to go.

Its good that you have fasting experience too - that is a very powerful tool by itself, but is also a nice way to work with Ayahuasca. Some people like fasting, and some jsut restrict their diet - but it can be helpful knowing you prepared well for your ceremony!

Thanks for sharing your personal story - it can be powerful to learn you dont have to turn your back on God just because you disagree with the church or even the Bible. You can find God in yourself or in the trees or the wind....

I would love to share my Ayahuasca brew process. I was hoping that I could do that in the Ayahuasca subforum, when I became a full member, but seeing that you are still a new member, I don't know how much hope I should hold for that. Reading your reply, I cannot help but ask myself, why are you not a full member yet.

I cannot access forums.ayahuasca.com. I registered there years ago and cannot remember my username and password. There is no mechanism to reset your password if you do not remember your username. If I click on FORGOT PASSWORD or SEND ACTIVATION EMAIL, and only enter my email, I get the message "The e-mail/username information submitted could not be found." If I try to register again, is says 'The entered e-mail address is already in use.' I don't know how to get around that.

 

[travsha]

Maybe the forum would work if you tried a new email? Or maybe there is a way to contact an admin there?

I think I am not a full member because I just joined
But I am enjoying this site a lot. Excited to be able to post in the other forums as well.

I wouldnt say I am the best person to give advice on cooking, but I could probably give some advice... I am lucky to have access to a shaman I drink with so I dont brew my own a whole lot. There seems to be a couple of mistakes that if something goes wrong it is one of those things though.... Many people dont add enough water or boil it hot enough for example... Or they try to do a fancy tech before they get the basics down - I think it is good to start out really simple with your method, because if something doesnt work out it will be easier to figure out what that was...

 

[Grizzly Adams]

I believe that I am doing a very simple brew.

My process has been a work in progress. I will detail where I am at now.

I start with putting the material in my Vitamix blender with distilled water. I blend it until it is soup hot. I don't have a grinder and this idea came to mind. I then pour it into a stainless steel stock pot and rinse the blender out. I will boil for 4-5 hours.

For a filter, I use an fine woven polyester fabric from a shirt in an embroidery hoop. The hoop is just wider than the pot. The fabric cannot be tight or when the brew is poured on it, or the brew tends to disperse sideways. So, I push on the center, making a slight bowl, before tightening it. I like the polyester because it does not hold much water.

After the first brew, I will pour it through the filter into the reducing pot. After it is all poured, I will bounce the filter gently to get more brew out of it. Then I just flip the filter over back into the brew pot and spray it with distilled water until all the material is off the filter and back into the pot. I add more distilled water. I do that three times.

After the third brew, I dump the filter into a container and clean the filter with vinegar into the container. I then cover all the material with vinegar and place it in the refrigerator for a week. Then I freeze it for a week. It's a week as I am usually only home on weekends. The reduced brew will sit in the fridge for those 2 weeks to decant.

After the 2 weeks, I will thaw out the material frozen in vinegar, I will brew it again in more water. While that is brewing I will filter the reduced brew. I draw off the top with a small aquarium pump though a coffee filter. After I filter the vinegar brew, I add that to the reduced brew to decant for another week. I will filter it again through a coffee filter, then freeze it.

After another week, I will thaw it out, filter it, add water and brew it again.

That is where I am at right now. I want brew it again. The first time that I froze the reduced brew, I noticed what seemed like particles being seperated as it was freezing. So I wanted to filter it again.

I wish I took pictures when I brewed the first time after freezing. There were light colored particles that were moving with flow of the brew. Over time they began to bind to each other more and more, becoming a larger mass. When I filtered it out, is was very soft. My father thought that is was the swelling of micro cellulose fibers. The brew was a very clear purple/burgundy.

When I brewed it again after filtering off the light color particles, it turned dark. I think I may be burning the sugars. What ever it is, it floats on top like a shiny black skin.


The next time I thaw it out to decant it, I will filter it again and brew it again and filter it again. Before I freeze the last time, I want to check the ph because I used vinegar and adjust it if needed. Then I will freeze it in several smaller mason jars, pasteurizing them before I do. They should be able to be stored for a very long time that way.

My first brew was enough for 4 large doses of rue and caapi. That is were I worked out the mechanics of my brew process. After that, when I did brew the psychotria viridis and mimosa hostilis, I brewed ALL the material that I had. This is too labor intense to brew more than one batch with the same material when I am only able to be home on weekends.

It may seem technical, but I view it as simple, because I have only used distilled water and a little vinegar after the the 3rd brew. Simple and thorough.

My goal is to have a brew with no purge. I know that there is a belief that the purge serves a healing purpose. I could buy into that but I don't think that is a necessary element.

 

[DarkMedicine]

I too grew up in a VERY Christian home. My father was a Pentecostal preacher. I had always had issues with the Bible and the entire idea of Christianity. It took me many years of internal struggle from my early teens on in to my twenties to really be comfortable with dropping Christianity entirely. And just like you, I never felt mad at God or anything like that. I didn't want to disbelieve the way I was raised but upon closer inspection I could not continue that path. And I too had spiritual experiences before DMT. I have seen miraculous healings in real life. I have seen dozens of humans in trances and altered states in church. I have even experienced these states as a Pentecostal Christian. So when I finally realized that it was all not quite right I could not be an atheist. I began searching. Then I found DMT. My efforts were greatly rewarded. Then I found Ayahuasca and my expectations were entirely blown away. Then I realized the power and spirituality were always there. It wasn't the church or the rituals that produced the effects I had seen but it was the power inside of all of us, inside of everything. The very power that regulates the universe and allows for consciousness to even become manifest. There are many ways to tap in to it. From Pentecostal traditions to smoking a purified hallucinogenic substance in your living room.

Ayahuasca is powerful medicine. You will not regret the wait. I did it the first time alone on the side of a bluff looking out into the vast delta below. I strongly recommend being outdoors and doing it at night time. And embrace the darkness that comes from it if it comes. You must accept the "good" with the "bad". Once you accept it, it isn't really "bad" after all. Just misunderstood and abused.

Travel light and travel deep.

It had been a long journey for me for becoming a non-practicing Christian, to finding out about DMT and finally having access to it. Soon enough, I will finally partake.

From what I have read of accounts of those who consume ayahuasca, somewhat reflect the battle of good and evil. What Christianity calls angels and demons, cannot be defined, so many call them entities and Christianity have villainized the nature of dark entities as a scare tactic. From what you and others describe, is when that dark experience is embraced with openness, so one can see what is to be revealed, When acknowledged and accepted, properly integrated, leads to living a better life, loving and respecting others more.

Outdoors and at night, would require a campfire. I love that idea. I was planning on renting a cabin and taking great care with the set and setting. I planned on staying inside, incase things go sideways, then I can atleast keep it private. The wrong attention, in that state of being, would not be good. But I do own 40 acres way out in the country, and a campfire in the woods with absolute privacy is very doable.

One of my favorite salutations has been, "Journey Mercy's and GOD's Speed". I hope that I can tweek and adapt that as to my current beliefs.

I cannot recommend the outdoors more highly. I thought I wanted to remain safe and inside during the experience before it started. Once it started I was lucky enough that I lived in the country. I became engulfed with a burning desire to go outside and walk around in the night air. Barefooted in waist tall grass might I add. I don't know how long I was out there. I just found a spot on the bluff looking down into the vast Mississippi River Delta and I sat. I watched millions of years of events taking place on the horizon. Giant pyramids sprouting from the ground and glowing in colors and jewels of untold beauty. Do yourself a favor and set up a nice campground in the middle of that 40 acres. Comfortable tent with nice bedding. Good fire. Water. Make it comfortable and relaxing. A sober and understanding friend is a great thing to have when you are going it alone for the first time.

And yes, the "darkness" is not evil at all. It is only through accepting the darkest experiences that you receive the greatest rewards. My very first experience with DMT I heard a very audible and seemingly evil voice tell me directly in my ear "Everything came from darkness". And that is truth. For there to exist "anything" there must be "nothing". When the fear hits you, embrace it. Do not run. It doesn't work. Only makes it worse.

And above all else, lose your expectations. Just go with it.

 

[DarkMedicine]

And might I suggest you forget the vinegar? Replace the vinegar water with orange juice. Masks the taste well and has a similar PH. Choose whatever method you wish. But my favorite is to use orange juice and ACRB. I boil for half hour then freeze for 5 days. Then on the last day I boil for a couple hours and add a little Syrian Rue. Filter through an old t-shirt and discard the solids. Then I boil an egg white which helps absorb tannins and decrease nausea. I have NEVER experienced even the slighest nausea when using that method. About 30 minutes before you consume the brew, ingest your MAOI (I use Rue). I understand if you prefer the traditional methods and that is great as well. The purge is wonderfully terrible. I don't see the need for a purge. It made me feel good physically and mentally but so did the experiences without purging. Just though I would throw my method out there in case you wanted to try it out.

 

[Bill Cipher]

I have done a lot of research and am very confident that I have done good, but I am waiting to become a full member before I partake. I really want to be able to have some conversations with other Ayahuasca enthusiasts in the Ayahuasca forum. Therefore, I am taking my time.

Well, don't let us hold you up! Go forth and post where you please, humble searcher.

Best of luck with the brew, your passions and the continued search for meaning. I can safely say if all goes right this will knock your proverbial socks off.

 

[Grizzly Adams]

I have done a lot of research and am very confident that I have done good, but I am waiting to become a full member before I partake. I really want to be able to have some conversations with other Ayahuasca enthusiasts in the Ayahuasca forum. Therefore, I am taking my time.

Well, don't let us hold you up! Go forth and post where you please, humble searcher.

Best of luck with the brew, your passions and the continued search for meaning. I can safely say if all goes right this will knock your proverbial socks off.

Thank You.

 

[DarkMedicine]

Congratulations on the full membership brother.

 

[Grizzly Adams]

Maybe the forum would work if you tried a new email? Or maybe there is a way to contact an admin there?

I tried contacting them a few times, but I never got a response. So, I just used another email. I see you there. I joined with the same username, but I have not yet posted.

 

[Grizzly Adams]

Congratulations on the full membership brother.

Thank you.

8)

 

[Grizzly Adams]

I cannot recommend the outdoors more highly. I thought I wanted to remain safe and inside during the experience before it started. Once it started I was lucky enough that I lived in the country. I became engulfed with a burning desire to go outside and walk around in the night air. Barefooted in waist tall grass might I add. I don't know how long I was out there. I just found a spot on the bluff looking down into the vast Mississippi River Delta and I sat. I watched millions of years of events taking place on the horizon. Giant pyramids sprouting from the ground and glowing in colors and jewels of untold beauty. Do yourself a favor and set up a nice campground in the middle of that 40 acres. Comfortable tent with nice bedding. Good fire. Water. Make it comfortable and relaxing. A sober and understanding friend is a great thing to have when you are going it alone for the first time.

And yes, the "darkness" is not evil at all. It is only through accepting the darkest experiences that you receive the greatest rewards. My very first experience with DMT I heard a very audible and seemingly evil voice tell me directly in my ear "Everything came from darkness". And that is truth. For there to exist "anything" there must be "nothing". When the fear hits you, embrace it. Do not run. It doesn't work. Only makes it worse.

And above all else, lose your expectations. Just go with it.

I started to do that is a spot that I plan a build a cabin is a few years. I will finish that up.

I think that I am going to pass on the sitter. I was planning on having one, but I think that if I does low and slowly work up, I should be fine as a solitary traveler. We will see.

When I am a seasoned traveler, there are some state parks on the Mississippi River that I would love to visit.

When I started pursuing ayahuasca, I was NOT interested in other entheogens. But the more I learned, the more I became interested in low dose psilocybin and LSD.

Thank you for sharing with me.

 

[DarkMedicine]

I cannot recommend the outdoors more highly. I thought I wanted to remain safe and inside during the experience before it started. Once it started I was lucky enough that I lived in the country. I became engulfed with a burning desire to go outside and walk around in the night air. Barefooted in waist tall grass might I add. I don't know how long I was out there. I just found a spot on the bluff looking down into the vast Mississippi River Delta and I sat. I watched millions of years of events taking place on the horizon. Giant pyramids sprouting from the ground and glowing in colors and jewels of untold beauty. Do yourself a favor and set up a nice campground in the middle of that 40 acres. Comfortable tent with nice bedding. Good fire. Water. Make it comfortable and relaxing. A sober and understanding friend is a great thing to have when you are going it alone for the first time.

And yes, the "darkness" is not evil at all. It is only through accepting the darkest experiences that you receive the greatest rewards. My very first experience with DMT I heard a very audible and seemingly evil voice tell me directly in my ear "Everything came from darkness". And that is truth. For there to exist "anything" there must be "nothing". When the fear hits you, embrace it. Do not run. It doesn't work. Only makes it worse.

And above all else, lose your expectations. Just go with it.

I started to do that is a spot that I plan a build a cabin is a few years. I will finish that up.

I think that I am going to pass on the sitter. I was planning on having one, but I think that if I does low and slowly work up, I should be fine as a solitary traveler. We will see.

When I am a seasoned traveler, there are some state parks on the Mississippi River that I would love to visit.

When I started pursuing ayahuasca, I was NOT interested in other entheogens. But the more I learned, the more I became interested in low dose psilocybin and LSD.

Thank you for sharing with me.

If you feel confident enough to pass on a sitter then you are doing fine.