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Penis Envy Uncut Trip 1

Skr9

Skratch
Penis Envy Uncut Trip 1


initial_dose: 2.0 gram of dried Psilocibe Cubensis, Penis Envy Uncut (APE v2).

redose?: I couldn't LMAO

Hello folks, I have returned from my hiatus of writing trip reports. I have a few trips racked up at this point to write about. I'm gonna start with the one I had today and work backwards though. Things have been kind of wild lately. I won't dive too deep into my personal life, but things could have been a lot better recently. After days of negative, I decided it was time to prep and take a mushroom trip. I needed to test this new strain that had started fruiting, as I wanted to know how powerful they'd be. These were just as powerful as APE v1. I didn't really expect it, because the last time I grew these they were slightly less powerful than APE v1. These are a whole different experience though. The visuals were very intense, and I even laid on the couch and went somewhere else, in a way that was similar to how larger doses of APEs used to make me feel. It wasn't quite as intense as something like a hero's dose, but it felt like I had taken 3.5-4 grams worth of mushrooms.

It wasn't particularly scary, but sometimes my mind has a way of steering down weird, or uncomfortable paths. I have gotten fairly good at redirecting my train of thought with years of experience. I have struggled in many ways over the years. (stories for another time), and suffer from PTSD, and possibly a number of undiagnosed mental issues. I feel like these darker paths of thought come with the territory, and part of the experience for me is sorting through these and finding where that is stemming from. This has proven to be very therapeutic over my time using psychedelics.

For the first couple hours it was kind of intense, so I didn't really get up off the couch. I was stuck, and I had drank all my water, so I embarked on an epic quest to get to the fridge for more water. I managed to stand up, and then as I went to the fridge, the patterns on my counters were moving quite vividly. I managed to get water and sit back down. I started drinking my water and then laid my head back down, this is when I started to slip out of the space I was in. While in this other space, I would move from scene to scene, almost like I was flicking through the channels of a television, but in a first person point of view. Sometimes I would slip out for short periods of time just to slip back into it, but with a new scene this time.

I started experiencing a full blown conversation with my mom. My mom had reached out to me recently so this may have influenced my experience. This was a very vivid conversation; it was like I was speaking directly to her and she was in the same room as me. This made me cry, and brought all sorts of feelings to the surface. I sat up, and started to come back out of the space at this point, only to slip back into it again later.

All in all the trip was really profound and quite satisfactory. I feel like I learned more about myself from this trip than I have in a long time. I feel like I identified many areas where I could use improvement, and sources to what was causing the problems. Now it wasn't all introspection though, there were some goofy and fun aspects as well.

Later into the trip I had slipped back in to this other space, and I turned into a penis. I had become a penis, and I felt that someone needed to insert me into the world, because fuck the world. I immediately busted out laughing. This was absolutely the goofiest hallucination I have ever had on mushrooms.

So in one trip I got to have many profound experiences, and also some of the silliest experiences I've had in a very long time. These are just a few of the experiences I had throughout this trip. Eventually I came out of this space completely (after about the first two or three hours of effects) and shortly after my partner got home. We sat and watched a tv show on the couch until they went to bed then I came and wrote this report.

Well all in all I can say I was very satisfied with Penis Envy Uncut. I believe I have unlocked a whole new part of myself. This experience was so profound, but still never felt like I was out of control, or having a bad time. I am a step closer to working through some of my most debilitating issues, and I can thank this experience for that. I feel like I have found confidence in myself again. I feel like I can learn to love myself again.

Over the past few years I have sunk into a dark hole I haven't really let anyone see. I lost my confidence in myself, and had a pretty low opinion of myself there for awhile. I have treated myself so badly over these last few years, and put up with a lot of shit from others. All of that is going to end today. I'm done being disgusted with the person I see in the mirror everyday. I'm done being angry because I feel unfulfilled.

Overall happiness is a choice, and I choose happiness. I choose love, kindness, and caring; not just for others but for myself as well. I deserve to feel loved, wanted, and safe to express my feelings. I deserve to be happy. After everything I've dealt with in my life, and after every shitty situation I've wound up in I finally deserve to be happy.

Thanks for reading folks.
 
I can relate to the epic quest, when I do Psilo I always think about it like okay solve the problem.....pee in the toilet...and I always feel like its all going to be ok because I can still solve problems.(y)
 
Over the past few years I have sunk into a dark hole I haven't really let anyone see. I lost my confidence in myself, and had a pretty low opinion of myself there for awhile. I have treated myself so badly over these last few years, and put up with a lot of shit from others. All of that is going to end today. I'm done being disgusted with the person I see in the mirror everyday. I'm done being angry because I feel unfulfilled.

Overall happiness is a choice, and I choose happiness. I choose love, kindness, and caring; not just for others but for myself as well. I deserve to feel loved, wanted, and safe to express my feelings. I deserve to be happy. After everything I've dealt with in my life, and after every shitty situation I've wound up in I finally deserve to be happy.
It feels like you had a very productive mushroom journey. These kinds of conclusions show that it was very medicinal for you.
I remember my times with mushrooms and how I got a fresh outlook on life after them. Somehow, one feels almost reborn with a childlike awe at creation.
Good that you found your light once again. Keep going and never forget this feeling. You are life. You are nature. You are as worthy as anyone else.
Much Love ❤️
 
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