impossiblemachine
Rising Star
2 sundays ago i had a session with my dear friend antrocles. he gave me caapi tea to drink and after about 30 minutes of talking and letting it set in, we loaded the vg with .05mg dmt...(i think that was the amount) i ask antrocles to light the piece and hold it for me as i feel like it keeps me less grounded...meaning i dont think about holding the flame or putting the piece down. i got a HUGE hit. clean, strong and i could feel that i was going to breakthrough...however wat i didnt know was just how deep.
i have gone pretty deep in my few journeys. i have lost a sense of myself and i have become what i see...landscapes, horizons etc....but this was unbelievable. i started out in the rooms, however the entities werent dancing or moving. they were sitting crosslegged and the rooms/entities seemed to be rotating as if they were a carousel. the beings reached their arms out like they were handling me, passing me along from room to room. i remember thinking what when why where and i was able to see the thoughts leave from me and become a part of this consiousness. i was always told to not question because that is usually when you stop your jounrey...however i knew in my mind that i was asking those questions not looking for an answer...and in hyperspace everything is exposed, that is why my journey didnt end there. i had a sense of vertigo at one point like i was just rotating from each one of their loving passes(think of doing somersaults in a pool) i remember thinking what when why where and i was able to see the thoughts leave from me and become a part of this consiousness. after this i feel like they handed me over to something else i had no clue what it was. i remember cities, a dragon flying/doing an airshow above it...and then the dragon becoming fixated upon me. i cant remember a lot but i lost all sense of self. i was gone for about 25 minutes but felt like i was dead. i came back and still felt this spirit in me. i would drift here and there. i would talk to antrocles and ask him what happened. i had a foot in both worlds. i remember i began crying and saying that "i know nothing" a number of times i had to take my hands and feel my chest because i didnt know where my body was....or if i even had one. since then, this "nothing" has found me. this call to just "be" and to stop trying to figure everything out. i feel so good. im done with questions and labels and i accept. this is the first step and things that are worthwhile take time. i am so content in "being" and not "doing." i dont question. i dont fear. because i feel like i am more in touch with myself than i ever have been. i feel like i know me better than i ever have. i know that i am good. i can feel the good. we are all good. we are all infinite. we are all beyond. antrocles is right when he says "the growth and development of one of us is the growth and development of all of us." what a beautiful place we are in. what amazing luck we are who we are. i am ridding and i am simple. but like i said, it is a process. it is work. thank you all for reading, this was really hard for me to write because i feel like i had to really work to do it because all i really wanted to do was to continue to just sit with this and just "be" however i felt it was important to share and i love the nexus and the ppl who use it. i appreciate all of you and your help. thank you for reading and keep on keepin on. we are infinite. we are beyond. we are a part of something so vast and beautiful it is unidentifiable and in that...i just am. i be.
im
i have gone pretty deep in my few journeys. i have lost a sense of myself and i have become what i see...landscapes, horizons etc....but this was unbelievable. i started out in the rooms, however the entities werent dancing or moving. they were sitting crosslegged and the rooms/entities seemed to be rotating as if they were a carousel. the beings reached their arms out like they were handling me, passing me along from room to room. i remember thinking what when why where and i was able to see the thoughts leave from me and become a part of this consiousness. i was always told to not question because that is usually when you stop your jounrey...however i knew in my mind that i was asking those questions not looking for an answer...and in hyperspace everything is exposed, that is why my journey didnt end there. i had a sense of vertigo at one point like i was just rotating from each one of their loving passes(think of doing somersaults in a pool) i remember thinking what when why where and i was able to see the thoughts leave from me and become a part of this consiousness. after this i feel like they handed me over to something else i had no clue what it was. i remember cities, a dragon flying/doing an airshow above it...and then the dragon becoming fixated upon me. i cant remember a lot but i lost all sense of self. i was gone for about 25 minutes but felt like i was dead. i came back and still felt this spirit in me. i would drift here and there. i would talk to antrocles and ask him what happened. i had a foot in both worlds. i remember i began crying and saying that "i know nothing" a number of times i had to take my hands and feel my chest because i didnt know where my body was....or if i even had one. since then, this "nothing" has found me. this call to just "be" and to stop trying to figure everything out. i feel so good. im done with questions and labels and i accept. this is the first step and things that are worthwhile take time. i am so content in "being" and not "doing." i dont question. i dont fear. because i feel like i am more in touch with myself than i ever have been. i feel like i know me better than i ever have. i know that i am good. i can feel the good. we are all good. we are all infinite. we are all beyond. antrocles is right when he says "the growth and development of one of us is the growth and development of all of us." what a beautiful place we are in. what amazing luck we are who we are. i am ridding and i am simple. but like i said, it is a process. it is work. thank you all for reading, this was really hard for me to write because i feel like i had to really work to do it because all i really wanted to do was to continue to just sit with this and just "be" however i felt it was important to share and i love the nexus and the ppl who use it. i appreciate all of you and your help. thank you for reading and keep on keepin on. we are infinite. we are beyond. we are a part of something so vast and beautiful it is unidentifiable and in that...i just am. i be.
im
