Persistent DMT romance.

[Northerner]

So I'm relatively new to DMT, I have probably only taken it 40-50 times. Something that I understood about the substance though when I started is that it is self-regulating, like other psychedelics. LSD is very self regulating for me. I can take it every weekend for a month and then not want it again for 6 months or even years after that.

Something that is concerning me now is that I seem to want DMT a lot. I can totally blow my world, pass through the next universe and then come back. When I get back I feel sure that I'm satiated and that I have looked into the pool of endless questions enough for the time being. Then less than a week later I start thinking about it again. Within 2 weeks I am thinking about it daily, within 3 weeks I am thinking about it several times a day.

I don't know if I should just smoalk moar or if I should be telling myself "No, you shouldn't do that now. It's better to wait." I know that's a very personal question that none of you can really answer, but it's still the dilemma I am facing. I remember my first LSD romance lasted a year, but I was much younger then... I'm really hoping it doesn't persist like that.

Is this a fairly common experience with new DMT users? If so, how long does this initial romance usually persist for? Any anecdotes would also be appreciated.

 

[ducdevil]

this is really a fabulous question to pose; i have often thought about posting something like this. thanks for putting it out there.

i have probably about the same amount of travel time as you. DMT occupies a large part of my thinking throughout the day, almost every day. yet, as you said, it is very self-regulating. i probably journey once every two or three weeks, yet think about it all the time. it is such a fascinating molecule/medicine with such awesome and beautiful power it is almost impossible to "unsee" it, or unincorporate it from one's consciousness.

i have often wondered that if there is some alternative landscape we travel to that is, indeed, more than just imagination...if we don't bring part of it back with us and it remains in us forever, or that something initially in us gets unlocked. almost as if that other dimension is always calling us back, even if we cannot travel there at the time, we feel the beckoning.

this feeling got even stronger once i got my extraction "chops" down. the magic of it all; taking this powdered bark and with the help of some fascinating chemistry and attention to detail and safety, we can produce this conduit to this special place and headspace ourselves.

for me - it's always in me. yet, i have a life with demands, responsibilities and practicalities. i cannot journey there as often as i think or would like, yet i am always aware of the summoning to join the others, albeit too briefly...

 

[Asher7]

Speaking personally, I took three trips at about last february, two mild and one explosive. I've not hit it since but it would be a lie if I said I've not thought about it semi-constantly. Not in a "crackhead" sort of way but more in a just trying to figure the numbers so to speak. Trying to wrap my head around it. I primed up my piece about a week ago, got it all clean and ready for launch etc. But I'm still waiting, as if there is some puzzle piece I need to find before I can blast off. Like pilots when they go over their jet before take off, I just cant get comfortable in thinking I've dotted my t's and crossed my i's...

It's forever there though. It doesnt cause a problem in my day to day, and it's nowhere near an addiction obsession. It's like some math problem that I just can't figure out even though I know the answer is staring me in the face. I just can't get that last piece of the equasion, and it comes up in thought very often. It makes it harder that ther is absolutely ZERO people I can talk to about this in my day to day life, so I'm all alone.

That said, I went extensively into salvia (I'm sure you all are used to me bringing up salvia:thumb_up: ) and it got to a point where I went deeper and deeper without really figuring the trips out "thoroughly", but I just had to keep going back and back and deeper and deeper, no matter what. I wanted to get my passport, jump on a plane, throw a pillow and a blanket with some chips and tuna cans in a backpack and go live there. It was just like that.

To this day I'm still trying to sort out what happened during those year, about 12 years ago, circa. I still think back and wonder, and I'll be somewhere and think or get hit with a very salviaish feeling or moment. It's forever in me, I was there.

All that said, just be mindful. Stay productive, and stay sane/positive/rightious/and above all true. If you've knocked dmt back 40-50 times, you should know balance by now right? Dig in deep, but don't get lost. Balance, is all I can say.

One thing I regret, is not keeping a journal. Like a dream journal. If I could hop in a Dolorian and go back in time, I would have told myself to keep a journal so that even though I went questionably rapid and questionably deep, once I surfaced I could go back over those notes. God above what I would give to have a book of notes from that era. That is some legit material for not only recollection but potential underground publication. I just wish I had it to flip through and trigger memories like an old yearbook.

Balance my friend, and a good solid dose of recollection. Manna...

 

[Northerner]

I keep a trip journal. I don't document every trip though, just the visionary ones. If I'm having trouble reintegrating from an experience journaling really helps too.

Something that I find is I get in a mood and I just want to smoke. I can jump in 5 times in a row and still want to go in again, even with plenty of harmalas on board. Even then it might not satiate the need for how I feel at that very moment. The next day I'll be feeling all "errr, ummm, hyperspace is pretty crazy, I prefer the real world", and then be dazed for a day whilst everything comes back together. Then I get back into my job and my studies, get back into all the cool things in my life.

But then about a week later I start thinking about it again...

I finished my last 1/2 a gram of changa this day last week, I totally broke the universe. I would have smoalked moar if I had it too. I was tripping on LSD also, that might have something to do with it. :lol: Now I would not consider eating LSD again, it's totally off the plate for the time being. But I would be prepping myself mentally to visit hyperspace if I had any spice left. It might take me a day or 2 weeks to feel ready, but I would be getting ready for that moment.

I've resigned myself to not have any until I can perform an extraction, which means I need some house space for a week. So that won't happen for at least 6 weeks. I'm hoping that some of the allure will fade in that time.

It seems dangerous to be so attracted to this thing so often. But having known many other substances I think it's just a honeymoon period. An exciting romance with a new psychedelic lover.

 

[○]

do what you feel you should do - whether that means upping dosage or staying put, either way it ends on your decision. upping the dosage isn't no toy though, be careful, the experience will show and go as deep as you're able to withstand. it can go farther than you wish to go...

with that said - i think about the experience every day, it's an inalienable part of my daily life, every person, every event, every laugh, every gesture, every animal, tree, rock, all infused with quintessence and strong reminder of what lies right on the other side. just my opinion.

 

[tseuq]

So I'm relatively new to DMT, I have probably only taken it 40-50 times.

:lol:

I don't know if I should just smoalk moar or if I should be telling myself "No, you shouldn't do that now. It's better to wait." I know that's a very personal question that none of you can really answer, but it's still the dilemma I am facing.

What creates the dilemma? Why is it better to wait, what are you expecting to happen then? What is your need to smoalk the spice again and again? Curiosity, boredom, recreation, finding more answers of unasked questions, ..? In the end it doesn't matter..

I know this dilemma too and years back I often thought, especially while tripping, that my usage is wrong (social-cultural-conditioning), that I am doing it way to often and too much, which ultimately created a feeling that I am wrong, that I am harming myself, but why? Who says what's the right usage of a substance? Who can set this parameter for myself except myself? This is where I decide to listen, trust and decide for myself.

I really really love psychs (especially N,N-DMT, Psilocin, THC) - it feels that they are like food for consciousness - and I did and still do them on a regular base, which varies from multiple times a day to once in a month/quarter. I just let it/me be BUT when I have the feeling that I absolutely want/need something, I skip it for this moment. Because where do I want to go (else then where I am right now)? This is the point where I can lose myself in f.e. automated (dysfunctional) patterns (habits) and unconsciousness.

I am doing these things as a pleasure, it is a form of enjoying my time here on earth. And like anything else, I want variety in my life, f.e. I love climbing but I don't like to climb every day for 8 hrs, same with psychs.

Where does the need to do it again arise? I got the impression, that one decent experience lasts for the rest of my life. There is nothing "new", I mean yes, everytime new but to me the "message" stays the same.

i think about the experience every day, it's an inalienable part of my daily life, every person, every event, every laugh, every gesture, every animal, tree, rock, all infused with quintessence and strong reminder of what lies right on the other side.

Full on.

I'm really hoping it doesn't persist like that.

In my opinion.. relax and ejoy the show. As far as I allow "it/myself" to be, it/I can change, otherwise I am still holding onto it.


Edit: Next time, let's bake a yummy cake, when you want to smoalk the spice again. It will delight your family and friends. Or both...

... high on acid, bake a lovely cake and smoalk some spice while its in the oven, share with family when back. (Pay attention when playing with fire while high on psychs.) :lol:


Love, tseuq

 

[mexico-magico]

i think about the experience every day, it's an inalienable part of my daily life, every person, every event, every laugh, every gesture, every animal, tree, rock, all infused with quintessence and strong reminder of what lies right on the other side. just my opinion.

Live life in permanent honeymoon with spice!

My experience with this powerful medicine has been a life changing agent in many ways affecting every aspect of my daily life in a very lovely manner -even the few hyperslaps have brought interesting lessons once the hellride is over-

Also IME its been quiet self regulating. Sometimes I smoalk or drink anahuasca on a daily basis for as many days as I feel I have to and then without any particular reason I just stop using it at all for a few weeks or months. Lately I prefer to do it only in those special occasions when I feel the call for it, also the quantity used is something very intuitive in my relationship with spice, In my first experiences I tended to use high doses every time, now I measure it according to the moment and hardly ever take the high doses I used to.

upping the dosage isn't no toy though, be careful, the experience will show and go as deep as you're able to withstand. it can go farther than you wish to go...

:thumb_up: Truth. Use common sense and increase your doses gradually.

 

[○]

In my first experiences I tended to use high doses every time, now I measure it according to the moment and hardly ever take the high doses I used to.

yeah, i definitely measure now versus the first few years of usage. i still take decent dosages, but definitely have backed off from what i'd used to do, after a couple very powerful changa/bong experiences and gvg experiences.

maybe once a month, or once every couple or so months

 

[Asher7]

Here's an idea Northerner, maybe just a taste isn't getting you full. Have you tried mixing up some aya type brew and strapping in for the long haul? In a manner of speaking, perhaps you're tired of just watching the trailor over and over, and should get yourself a ticket to see the movie.

You know what I'm saying?

 

[Northerner]

Here's an idea Northerner, maybe just a taste isn't getting you full. Have you tried mixing up some aya type brew and strapping in for the long haul? In a manner of speaking, perhaps you're tired of just watching the trailor over and over, and should get yourself a ticket to see the movie.

You know what I'm saying?

I know exactly what you're saying. I had typed a similar thing in a reply here but removed it before posting because I wasn't able to enunciate my reasoning clearly, it's just something that I keep considering. I don't know if it's just me wanting moar. Not that there's anything wrong with that, I don't want to break my head though and be forever lost in the Garden of Eden. I know that's not really a possibility without waaaaay overdoing it. Just verbalising thoughts and fears here.

I'm slightly scared/cautious about oral forms of DMT. With changa I have broken all senses of "reality" quite a few times. I have managed to get the dose right now so it's not so strong I black out, but strong enough to journey pretty deep. Almost always at the end of the trip when it starts to fade and I start to realise my body again I wish it had lasted longer. Getting that dosage right with aya or oral is something that makes me a little nervous. It's not something I would want to mess up. I know starting with med-low doses and working up will help me to find my sweet spot and negate the danger, but the apprehension is still there.

When I was younger I did a lot of drugs and abused several different ones. Knowing how new substances can be so attractive (experience makes us wise) is what brings these feelings of caution in me now. It seems that for some here the romance never ends. That brings even more feelings of caution to the surface for me. The possibility that I won't be able to rely on it's self regulating nature like I can with shrooms and LSD and need to place personal limitations and breaks on my use in a logical manner seems like a reality. Then again I had the same thoughts about LSD on my 2nd honeymoon with it, and that has faded now.

Maybe it is just a true honeymoon period and given a year or so the desire to look at the chaotic beauty and ponder the universal riddle will fade. Or maybe it's just a part of me now and I have to accept that.