Please Exercise Caution

[PupilOfPerception]

I've been lurking here for close to 8 months now and thought I'd finally post, largely because some personal experiences, coupled with finding the seemingly-well-known story of Nexus user "joebono," lead me to believe I can both find some help and be of some help to others that find themselves going through similar challenges.

I first learned of DMT via radio broadcasts of Terence McKenna lectures in the early 90s in Southern California, where I grew up, on the recommendation of my dad. I spent a few years dabbling in psychedelics after high school, but never came across anyone with access to DMT.

At the end of 1995, I "came to Jesus" on an acid trip, and ended-up becoming a member of the LDS church - that would be an LSD-to-LDS transition.

For the next 15 years, I didn't touch any mind-altering substances other than over-the-counter and prescription meds. A little over a year ago, though, that changed. I started to partake of marijuana here and there, and then met a kid that said he could get DMT. The temptation to try it was overwhelming, since I'd been interested in it for nearly 20 years.

The details of the transition into my use of it can be shared later, but the main thing is this: at one point, I was using it in small, non-breakthrough doses, on a somewhat regular basis... As in, every hour or two, for days on end. Again, not enough to see visual hallucinations, but enough to bring me into a state of mind where casual links between things seemed spiritually significant to me. And here's the thing: it was as though the entire world, through music, movies, chance meetings, etc., was talking to me, trying to tell me something. It was as though I was the character of that movie, Total Recall, in a strange way, but in this version, God was "waking me up" to some work he needed me to do, and DMT and all of these "signs" were "keys" that were opening locks in my mind that had, before coming to this earth, been sealed for this exact purpose. Synchronicity was everywhere, constantly. I couldn't go an hour or two without seeing connections.

Yeah.

And then, it all came crashing down on me. The realization that it was all delusional and bogus. And that's when hell really started for me. I was thrust into the worst depression I've ever experienced. I have no courage, so suicide was out of the question - but I wished for death a number of times. Loneliness, the kind of which I've never experienced, became my daily bread. I started to question my faith in God as well as my ability to even get up in the morning. It doesn't help that the only advice I got was to get on some kind of anti-depressant. If it were not for the fact that I have no faith in modern medicine, that probably would've been okay. But I can't knowingly take meds that I feel are going to screw me up even worse in the long run.

Now, unlike "joebono," I don't "blame" DMT for this - I made my choices, albeit ignorantly, and must live with the consequences. It can be argued that this experience is exactly what I need, and that DMT will ultimately prove, at some point in the future, to have been a tool for enlightenment for me, personally. But, I would tell the uninitiated to exercise caution when contemplating the start of a journey with DMT - it's not a toy or something that one should take lightly. Here's a quote that really sums it up for me:

Furthermore, keep in mind that a spirit molecule is not spiritual in and of itself. It is a tool, or a vehicle. Think of it as a tugboat, a chariot, a scout on horseback, something to which we can hitch our consciousness. It pulls us into worlds known only to itself. We need to hold on tight, and we must be prepared, for spiritual realms include both heaven and hell, both fantasy and nightmare. While the spirit molecule's role may seem angelic, there is no guarantee it will not take us to the demonic. - Dr. Rick Strassman, "DMT: The Spirit Molecule"

If anyone has any advice on dealing with DMT-induced depression, I'd love to hear it.

 

[ewok]

I don't think dmt is the cause of yours or anyone else's depression, it may bring things up that lurk below. But to suggest it induced it is far from any likely truth in my opinion. As to dealing with depression i'd start but not trying to blame it on a molecule and work toward positive changes in my life.

 

[Guyomech]

So what made you decide that all those synchronicities are bogus? If that "realization" is the prime cause for your depression, try taking another, deeper look at that epiphany.

Many spiritual seekers start to notice, often to an almost obsessive extent, the synchronicities in their lives. When you see the world this way, everything is connected to everything else, so synchronicity becomes an obvious fact of life rather than a freak occurrence. I have a hardcore rationalist friend who would say, "Confirmation bias! You only notice the things that are important to you!". And the thing is, he's right in that statement- we notice those things precisely because they are important to us; we are aligned or synchronized with them. An obvious example: the phone rings, you guess it to be a particular person and, miraculously, it is. But you know that person, you already have some kind of pattern of communication established with them, so if your subconscious is capable of guessing correctly where that pattern will go next, you shouldn't be too surprised. We are pattern recognition specialists, and can identify amazingly subtle or subliminal patterns, often via intuition.

To dismiss this all for rational reasons is to not recognize the utterly mundane, everyday reality of synchronicity.

You may not realize it, but you are an active spiritual seeker. That's what led you to DMT. You happen to be at a particularly dark and difficult part of the journey- try to have faith that you will pull through, and that it all will have been well worth it.

Good luck... And welcome to the Nexus!

 

[SWIMfriend]

I would never discount a realization that what you had been thinking was delusional and bogus--in my experience and opinion such realizations are usually correct, especially when we don't "like" the facts of the realization. At least, if you are willing to consider something delusional and bogus, you probably aren't being a fool. Being interested in detecting delusion means you are ALSO interested in reality, and in furthering your connection to reality.

But I'd like to suggest to you that your depression is fleeting and superficial. Why? Because reality and truth are not and CAN NOT be "depressing." WE are reality and truth--our very essence can't be depressing to us.

Maybe you're depressed at the thought of holding delusional ideas for a long time, or for taking them too seriously.

I agree with ewok and Guyomech: I think you should gather yourself together and move forward in a positive direction, with a positive attitude. Root out even MORE delusion, if you can--and be happy to be rid of it. Utilize DMT when you think it will benefit you, but otherwise don't.

 

[TribalDruid]

Thank you for finding courage to reach out to the community and seek advice. Although I just registered with the nexus yesterday, I recognize our brotherhood in the infinite cosmic unfolding.

To begin with, I may be slightly philosophical (please try to bear with it), but then I'll attempt to thread it all together with some advice that should aid in reorienting your biochemical situation and physical body so that you are in a far greater condition to experience happiness and sense higher spiritual attributes....

Let me first relay that you could indeed view your life experiences as though they were 'bogus and delusional', however, that itself is mere perspective and a very limited one at that.

There exists a seamless thread of symbiotic harmony in which you are intimately and eternally bound. Fortunately for us, this thread of harmony exists independently of our limited perspective through a human body-mind in space and time, and yet, the human organism is utilized as a vehicle to experience it.

This means that the literal health of body and mind are essential to our perception of harmony.

Simply realize that human organisms are vehicles first and foremost. *We, as humans, have the potential to achieve a biological perfection through an inborn microcosmic blueprint that instructs the body on how to grow and maintain perfect equilibrium. Necessary factors must be in place in order for that blueprint to carry itself out.

So what are the necessary factors to achieve and maintain a more optimal blueprint? There are a multitude.

The first key is ingestion, since we are food bodies. The organism needs precise materials in order build efficiently and well. The blueprint is a product of Nature so therefore the materials which we ingest must be derived from natural (non-manipulated) processes that the Earth has manifested as a gift for human consumption. Unfortunately most humans are ingesting very synthetically-processed and adulterated materials.

The next key is to recognize that your perception of mind and states of happiness are directly correlated with the condition of innumerable microbial benefactors which populate and carry out all functions throughout your cellular terrain including the processes of digestive assimilation. If you lack and are deficient in these janitorial helpers your microbial city-systems will suffer just as if all those tasked with the role of carrying out garbage from New York City decided to take a permanent vacation. The result would be a disaster.

Based upon what was relayed in your initial message, I'm going to assume that your state of depression is in large part due to microbial and nutritional imbalances.

Depression is directly correlated to the production of serotonin. Serotonin is a direct link to your happiness and the emotional states of mind you experience. 90% of the body's serotonin production takes place within your gut while the remainder is synthesized in serotonergic neurons of the central nervous system.

Just considering that one factor alone, it is easy to conclude that if we lack microbes our well-being is diminished. In fact, that one realization is the central component to our state of happiness as human beings. We are more bacteria then we are cells. We were destined to be intimate with the Earth and microbial life is that bridge.

There is so much written on the topic of 'repopulating' our intestinal flora. Much of that information focuses on isolated probiotics and supplements. That isn't my gig though.

I firmly believe that the natural world supplies all material necessary to achieve a microbial balance. In my humble opinion, a large focus of your attention (gauge your time and energy) should move into sourcing and procuring the most nutrient-dense organic foods you can locate, with a heavy emphasis on raw fats (they maintain the ability to exchange ionic impulses across the cell membrane far more efficiently -- ask me about this if you need to know more) and fermented and bacterially-rich foods, in order to achieve healthy doses of microbes and begin re-establishing your inner ecosystem.

Your body needs vitamins, minerals, fatty acids, amino acids, fats, sugars, hormones, pigments, enzymes, bacteria and plenty of unnamed materials from a wide range of nutrient-dense foods. Not in isolated form. The nutrients must be bio-available and bound cellularly to be assimilated without stripping vital internal resources.

I would not recommend veganism or vegetarianism. Just my recomendation. Personally, everything that I consume is unheated. I eat copious amounts of food from the animal kingdom (all pasture-based, organic and/or wild) and it works incredibly well for me. But that is a whole different topic....

This same advice to focus on nutrition and microbes applies to anyone reading this. I feel that it would be incredibly wise for any man or woman venturing into Earth's psychotropic realm to consider their state of health and inner microbial world, placing it as paramount, prior to engaging extra-sensory journeys.

The state of health can absolutely make all the difference.

Once again (I repeat this for a good reason), these bodies are vehicles of perception and therefore the inner balance will determine the transmission and feedback we experience from reality. There is plenty that I could relate regarding this and if you are interested I would be happy to share more in a follow-up post. There is likely plenty of information, even in this forum, regarding nutrition and achieving a microbial balance, although my views would certainly be different in many respects.

I had initially included far more about my personal background along with some stories to add perspective but felt it was just too much with the already large amount of info to integrate as is. If you would like, I would be happy to follow up in a future post with more detailed information.

Highest Regards,
TribalDruid

 

[olympus mon]

You have gotten some great words from some great minds. I agree particularly with the comment that dmt is not the problem. Could it be that your problem is a need to escape this reality? Im speaking from personal experience.

For many years I was uncomfortable in my own skin. I had addictions and compulsions, anything to take me out of the present moment which for some reason felt terribly uncomfortable to me. I eventually grew up and cleaned up and became interested in spiritualism. I grew very passionet about it in fact. Thinking about the spirit and mystical forces would in a way catapult me into another reality. I would feel good, happy, and at peace.
Instead of drugs and alcohol I was high on spirituality. I thought this was a good thing.

Soon I began to use the long sought after molecule and it made a giant impact on my life. I was blown away by the breakthrough experiences. Night after night I would hurry home after work and began getting the setting ready for multiple vaping sessions and leave this world. In not much time I began to demonstrate an obsession to smoking dmt. Its all I could think about, all I could talk about. It was as if all the magical stuff I was reading about and listening to talks from so called spiritual teachers was contained in that molecule and I was now free to play around in this cosmic mysterious space.

Then one day I finally realized how unhealthy this all was. I wasn't becoming a happier person I was becoming even more uncomfortable with reality. I sought to be away from it. Honestly... being a human was bumming me out. Why couldnt I be a spirit or an entity or even reside in hyperspace full time? I was loosing it and the journeys were getting very strange and insensible.

I dont even get to claim credit for pulling myself out of this downward spiral. It was dmt. She slapped me so hard I wasnt able to vape again without terror for over 18 months. It was in that time that I saw that I was simply trying to escape. Escape reality with either drugs, spirituality, or Dmt. It was all the same thing for me...an escape.

Im not saying any of this pertains to you I have no idea whats going on or who you even are for that matter but I wanted to at least tell you Ive been there and this was why. Im not implying your spirituality is ingenuine. Mine I feel was and psychedelics showed me this.

I dont think about matters of the spirit much these days but I feel happier. I feel good about just accepting life for what it is. There are still plenty of mysteries to the cosmos and consciousness that I don't need to fill a void with the supernatural any longer.

I like life, I like reality. Everything is ok. I feel good about me and psychedelics have taken on an even deeper meaning for me. Who would of guessed a path such as ours would lead me to unbelief in many of my previous ideas.

Om

 

[christian]

but the main thing is this: at one point, I was using it in small, non-breakthrough doses, on a somewhat regular basis... As in, every hour or two, for days on end. Again, not enough to see visual hallucinations, but enough to bring me into a state of mind where......

I read somewhere that it's these sub breakthru doses that are of concern to gov drug agencies. People using DMT in a manner that allows them to abuse it for it's euphoric rushy nature without getting into it's more meaningful depths.

It does sound like you weren't really commited to a deep trip, and perhaps even using it as an escape?? I mean when it's used like that it's like any addictive drug, and that's not good.

I completely understand why you eventually got deeply depressed. I guess it's when one is not empowered in their lives when the depressed states tend to rear their ugly heads.

Probably the best thing to do would be to get into good diet, exercise, and outings with friends and family. That should be a good grounding. Dmt isn't for everyone, and for those that can tolerate it they usually find Ayahuasca to be a more useful ally.8)

 

[○]

It sounds like you were pretty much just using dmt in the "threshhold" type doses, which are nothing in comparison to what an actual breakthrough entails..or multiple breakthroughs over a period of time. I think your realizations about you and the world would be vastly different if that route woulda been taken compared to just brushing the surface of what the experience actually is/offers. Low doses like that can be anxiety ridden too, especially done in an overindulgent manner.

The realizations I've been afforded through my heaviest of experiences have shaken every nail in my foundation loose...literally stepping back looking at the pile of myself that I thought I was. Disheartening in a sense, but extremely liberating. I'm simply not just flesh n' bones, my 9-5 job, nor am I my birth name or any sort of outside-ascribed label. At the most fundamental level I am something that AT LEAST transcends everything I thought I knew about myself and my interaction with the world.

As christian said, it does seem like a possible form of escapism. But in the end, your escaping yourself to only end right back at your front door.

And in regards to Strassman's quote.. I obviously think we contain both sides of the coin. WE have our highs of being and our lows of being...our good and our bad. But when you realize that both those sides are superceded by the whole..that ONE that's impartial to both because it IS both YET transcends both.

I would most definitely look into going on nature walks, reading, some type/s of physical activity....just all around be healthy to your body and mind and it will return the favor.

 

[AlbertKLloyd]

The ideology of the church is incredibly dangerous and suggestive, the appeal of the concept that you have been saved for the latter days and have been called to serve can cause immense damage to the ego under many conditions.

I have see this type of delusion over and over again in church members, including those who were totally and completely sober, and I have seen it cause harm to both the individuals themselves and the ones they love.

The psychological impact of the church is very unhealthy, as are many forms of this type of delusion that can be found outside of the LDS church as well but in the church it is particularly strong, it is how the church operates and was designed. It appeals to every part of the ego, it appeals to greed with rewards of eternal life, it appeals to fear with punishment, it appeals to ego with the idea that the best have been saved for the latter days and are called to serve, it appeals to peer pressure and group mentality in ways too numerous to go into. It appeals to love with rhetoric of kindness and service, it appeals to every animal instinct you have in a way that is profoundly effective.

The damage began well before DMT, that LSD trip you mention, you were using psychedelics in a way that I consider very very dangerous, but not because of the psychedelics, but because of the influence of the church upon your way of thinking and feeling.

I know from having been there.

The methods of proof wherein you read something and pray to see if it is true, this is very dangerous. It allows people to ignore all facts and reason and base beliefs upon emotion. The method presents emotional truth and then asks you to feel if it is true, and you can feel the emotional heartfelt truth of the content and then the church teaches you that this feeling means that the church is factually true, but this is not the case. I can tell a story with philosophical and emotional truth and make all the details lies, and then when you feel the truth in an emotional way you will suspend reason and believe that it is factually true, this is what the church has done to you. It has damaged your ability to think for yourself.

Consider that the articles of faith are a list of what you are supposed to believe, instead of basing your beliefs on your own experience they have a list for you to memorize and repeat, this is in and of itself a very bad sign.

There is zero factual evidence to support the BOM, over 100 years of archaeology and scientific investigation by LDS and non-LDS investigators has failed to provide any evidence, while there is tremendous evidence to the contrary including in terms of genetics, linguistics, archaeology etc.

Consider how many of the testimonies you have heard were nearly identical and word for word, that is not a sign of a true testimony. Consider how many elders and members you have seen sustained who were never voted against, not one I suspect, did you know that the serial killer Ted Bundy was sustained in this way as a primary teacher in SLC while he was still murdering women? Do you think the spirit would warn church members about him? If is was real it would have.

I have seen molestors and sex offenders called and sustained as bishops who refused to take the post, knowing in their heart they were not worthy of such responsibility. I have seen an aryan nation biker gang enforcer lie in interviews and end up as a second councilor to a bishop and quit later when he felt that he could no longer keep up the lies. The church did tremendous damage to me as a child by teaching me to lie to myself about what I felt, knew and believed.

When I was a child I prayed all night to god about god and the church, god told me that god existed, but that the church was not true. I refused to be baptized but my parents told me that the church was true and if I could not feel it I was being mislead by the devil, they basically told me that if I was a good person I would know it was true, this is not a healthy thing to teach children. I ended up being baptized when I was 9 instead of 8. I was told that if I went along well enough that I would be given a sign when I was worthy, and the being worthy meant participating as if I knew it to be true, when I did not know that. I bore my testimony like the others, I served the sacrament, collected tithes, I even gave talks during sacrament meeting. I read the BOM several times and became very knowledgeable about it. I was even baptized for the dead.

You are absolutely right that DMT is a tool, however you were using that tool in a way that the church taught you, that is why you had the results you had.

God is there for all in all, and in you as you.
God has no chosen people, but chooses all people, god has no chosen son meant to lead you to salvation.
god has no sacred day, no sacred building, god is 24/7 and ubiquitous as the higher power.
There are no latter days, Christ will not come and return the earth to its former glory.
There is nobody who can save you but yourself.
God did not create you as some flawed being needing redemption and salvation.
God does not need a plan, or a spokesperson, or a church, god has authored no books and built no buildings.

You will find more spiritual truth in the pattern of a single leaf, than in the whole of all organized religion.

I am so sorry that you have had this done to you. The happiest church members dont worry about the latter days or gods plan for them, they just focus on daily life and living the principals of the gospel, which does have truth to it, but it is not among the keys of the everlasting god. Though the church is not true, don't worry about it, just let it go and follow the basic teachings of doing no harm and loving thy neighbor as thyself. I have many close friends that are members, and many that aren't, they all tend to get along and I have seen many LDS people enjoy psychedelics without problems, but they didn't try to read into it too much. Psychedelic experiences are like dreams, they hold personal significance but their content comes largely from you, there is no deity trying to talk to you other than yourself,if you are concerned with your purpose, know that because of agency your purpose is up to you.

This message is meant for you.
Nothing is a coincidence, all things co-incide.

 

[SWIMfriend]

^^ Very realistic and honest summary of the mormon cult and the harm it can cause. It's a mind and spirit killer (as it goes about convincing followers that they're ENHANCING their minds and spirits). Good post, AlbertKLloyd.

exmormon.org has helped a lot of people on their way out of it. (and no, I'm not a mormon or exmormon--but I've followed mormonism as an example of an especially OBVIOUS recent fraud and mind control cult)

 

[PupilOfPerception]

I don't think dmt is the cause of yours or anyone else's depression, it may bring things up that lurk below. But to suggest it induced it is far from any likely truth in my opinion. As to dealing with depression i'd start but not trying to blame it on a molecule and work toward positive changes in my life.

Well, I posted that and haven't really been back since. I just read all of the replies today and figured I'd reply now. Wish I had come back, some of the posts would've helped greatly. I apologize to those thoughtful individuals that took the time to consider my situation and post their feelings and ideas.

The last 5 months have been quite a journey, and I've learned a lot in that time (as I usually do in such long periods of time).

I can clearly see now that when I wrote my initial post, I was in the middle of a very dark phase of my life - the darkest thus far. As happens when one is in darkness in an unknown place, I was quite lost and prone to bumping into things. Now that the lights are back on, I see much more clearly the edges of the various furniture that occupies the room of my life, and I now see what it was that I was having trouble navigating in the absense of light.

 

[PupilOfPerception]

So what made you decide that all those synchronicities are bogus? If that "realization" is the prime cause for your depression, try taking another, deeper look at that epiphany.

Well, it's been a while now, and I'm not sure they were 'bogus' per se, but they were not very well understood by me at the time. I am much more comfortable with them now, as I've had half a year to integrate them.

Many spiritual seekers start to notice, often to an almost obsessive extent, the synchronicities in their lives. When you see the world this way, everything is connected to everything else, so synchronicity becomes an obvious fact of life rather than a freak occurrence. I have a hardcore rationalist friend who would say, "Confirmation bias! You only notice the things that are important to you!". And the thing is, he's right in that statement- we notice those things precisely because they are important to us; we are aligned or synchronized with them. An obvious example: the phone rings, you guess it to be a particular person and, miraculously, it is. But you know that person, you already have some kind of pattern of communication established with them, so if your subconscious is capable of guessing correctly where that pattern will go next, you shouldn't be too surprised. We are pattern recognition specialists, and can identify amazingly subtle or subliminal patterns, often via intuition.

Ever since my initial exploration with psychedelics 20 years ago, I've been more attuned to synchronicities in general, and more apt to looking at everything in very abstract terms, which has greatly benefitted me in my profession of software engineering. In fact, I dare say I owe my success as an engineer to this ability to deal well with abstraction. At the same time, it's also hindered my ability to be fully 'present' in this reality, which was one of the problems that I believe led me to my 'crisis' last summer.

To dismiss this all for rational reasons is to not recognize the utterly mundane, everyday reality of synchronicity.

I feel you - I've come around and haven't thrown the baby out with the bathwater.

You may not realize it, but you are an active spiritual seeker. That's what led you to DMT.

Oh, I realize it - been this way for a really long time, and I show no signs of slowing down. Yet, as someone else points out in a post coming after yours in this same thread, one can go a bit overboard in the spiritual department and forget about this physical realm. That was one of my vices - being far too removed from the physical experience and wanting to escape it. I've become much more anchored than I was in the past and, I'd like to think, more balanced as a result. I feel I'm much more 50/50 than I was before, which was more of a 90/10 on the side of spiritual.

You happen to be at a particularly dark and difficult part of the journey- try to have faith that you will pull through, and that it all will have been well worth it.

I was, I did and it has. Wish I would've read your encouragement back when things were most acute, but it's still helpful nonetheless!

Good luck... And welcome to the Nexus!

Thank you! I hope to participate more in the future, and hope to add value in some way or another.

 

[PupilOfPerception]

I would never discount a realization that what you had been thinking was delusional and bogus--in my experience and opinion such realizations are usually correct, especially when we don't "like" the facts of the realization. At least, if you are willing to consider something delusional and bogus, you probably aren't being a fool. Being interested in detecting delusion means you are ALSO interested in reality, and in furthering your connection to reality.

But I'd like to suggest to you that your depression is fleeting and superficial. Why? Because reality and truth are not and CAN NOT be "depressing." WE are reality and truth--our very essence can't be depressing to us.

Well, it's gone now and I'm doing better right now than I ever have in my life. And I don't blame DMT. In fact, I think it facilitated events that needed to happen in order to get me to the point I'm at right now. In other words, I've integrated my past experience (all 39 years of it) very well into my present; I've worked hard to do this very thing for the last 17 years, and will continue to do so, seeing as it has borne good fruit.

Maybe you're depressed at the thought of holding delusional ideas for a long time, or for taking them too seriously.

I wasn't sure why I was depressed to be honest, but I do believe my brain chemistry had as much to do with it as anything else. Also, there were complicating issues, such as marital estrangement; that was one of the biggest factors. I'm glad to say that's behind me and my marriage is stronger than ever before.

I agree with ewok and Guyomech: I think you should gather yourself together and move forward in a positive direction, with a positive attitude. Root out even MORE delusion, if you can--and be happy to be rid of it. Utilize DMT when you think it will benefit you, but otherwise don't.

As I have said in my other belated responses to such encouragement, I thank you - it's nice to see a good support system here rather than a bunch of mindless 'druggies' (though I know there are some of those here as well, they are impossible to elude yet need good examples). I was in a spiritual valley, essentially, and am now ascending the mountains. There will come another day, yet future, when that valley will once again become my reality; for now I prepare myself in the hope that, by doing so, it's influence will be more beneficial than saddening.

 

[toxicpurity]

TribalDruid: You have made an incredibly insightful and impactful point. As travelers into inter-dimensional space it is easy to lose sight of our own corporeal existence. The consuming face of the divine can distract from the essential teachings of the elves, to be and to live. We are all stardust and light, but we are also eating, pooping, crying humans.

The plurality of existence is excruciating and intoxicating. To maintain a focus on the heavens and the earth at once is a trick of balance and perspective. I struggle with this duality myself. Your input on microbial balancing as it relates to overall well-being articulates my own thoughts on the need for grounded self-work as well as universal energy work. We are a complex net of relationships, not only with the universe, but also within our own vessels. I feel this type of inter-body focus can help to weigh out the profound awe of synchronicity and interconnection. There is so much to do and to play with on every level.

Focus on the body and the rhythms of your human form will be very beneficial, not only to Jason, but to all who find themselves lost at sea.

holons

Thank you,

-b-

 

[Pandora]

Hello PupilOfPerception,

Belated Welcome to the Nexus brother. So much has already been said here, I'll keep my response simple. I'm very glad to see you signed up and that you have received so many caring responses to date. I do hope that as time passes your suffering is less. Depression is no fun.

Like others I view DMT as a catalyst. It has illuminated things in my mind at times that were hard to deal with, to say the least. I've had some rather harrowing posts over the few years I've been here. I have felt that DMT put me into or catalyzed a deep sense of despair in me. The best thing I could do for myself was take a lot of time to both abstain from non-herbal drugs and to work on integration issues. There's a well-written section in Integration in the Health&Safety section here: DMT-Nexus Wiki:Health and Safety - DMT-Nexus Wiki

Also, I think it's worth saying that self-extraction can help with a lot of conscious and subconscious issues around DMT use. Where it came from, what was done to it, when and why, NOT participating in a commerce with folks who may not care about such issues, etc. cannot be underestimated. . . .

I do hope you are feeling better with time - it is your main ally. Feel free to post again, to drop into chat for some quick, amusing, crazy talk in realtime if you like. I do hope you will choose to become an active member, and again a belated welcome to you.