Well, I posted that and haven't really been back since. I just read all of the replies today and figured I'd reply now. Wish I had come back, some of the posts would've helped greatly. I apologize to those thoughtful individuals that took the time to consider my situation and post their feelings and ideas.

The last 5 months have been quite a journey, and I've learned a lot in that time (as I usually do in such long periods of time).

I can clearly see now that when I wrote my initial post, I was in the middle of a very dark phase of my life - the darkest thus far. As happens when one is in darkness in an unknown place, I was quite lost and prone to bumping into things. Now that the lights are back on, I see much more clearly the edges of the various furniture that occupies the room of my life, and I now see what it was that I was having trouble navigating in the absense of light.