Yowler
John
Hello everyone. First I want to express how grateful I am for any and all involved with creating and maintaining the dmt-nexus. This is exactly what is needed to continually develop and expand psychedelic community.
My curiosity for psychedelia began in high school but was bound to books only. After a few years of devout erowid scholarship, peppered with various articles and books, I came across Dr. Strassman's book on amazon. I started reading more and more about this endogenous tryptamine and my interest piqued. Meanwhile, I was working on completing a Bachelor's in Psychology, with concentrations on biological and counseling. I was hooked by Jung early on, which eventually lead me to the Tibetan Book of the Dead and then onto Leary and McKenna. All the while this was challenging and breaking down my Protestant boundaries...
August of 2009 and I am at my main weekend setting of my friend's house. We were throwing a birthday party for one girl and a bon voyage party for a couple of the guys. That night, 4 lovely female couch surfers arrived in time for meeting a room full of new people. A few hours in to the night, I am sitting on the couch next to one of the couch surfers, but I was talking with another friend. All of a sudden, I heard her say "...DMT..." to which I turned around and introduced myself. We chatted for a while about stuff we had read, but admitted we had never tried it. In fact, I had never had experience with any substance beyond marijuana and alcohol. A few weeks later, I was visiting my new friend and was met with an opportunity to try it together for our first time.
The three of us gathered in the basement: 1 on light duty, 1 on dose duty and 1 on take the pipe duty.
Going from normal, to everything buzzing, to all atoms of self obliterated within 30 seconds was unlike anything my readings could have prepared me for. There was a gentle homey feel to this place. It was warm and loving, and instantly brought memories back of when I cracked my head open as a child and had a near death experience.
I was aware of the stillness of the dark room again and I asked if my friends were still there. I heard them smile and say "yes!" Things kept buzzing for a while, but from start to finish I turns out it has only been 3 minutes!
Before departing, my friends gave me 3.5 grams of P. cubensis. They recommended that since I had just done DMT, I could probably eat the entire amount for my first time. When I returned home, I got to work on a new painting, which is what became the picture I am using for my avatar. (I've attached a bigger image below. I've since gifted it to the couple who introduced me to the compound. The piece is titled "Distinctly Melting Time" and is oil and acrylic on wood panel). I also bought and hungrily read through "The Spirit Molecule."
About two weeks later, at a point of transition in my life, I embarked on the trip that has changed me forever, and I am very thankful that I had had the experience with DMT before hand--it made letting go less scary.
I had 5 distinct stages to my psilocybin experience. The first began while I was at a park, beginning to see the energy of life and the lack of distinction between me and the people around me. I was working on my social anxiety in a gentle, gracious way. My sitter brought me back to my apartment when things started getting a little weirder. Having no experience himself, my sitter still was able to gently remind me to relax and let go of everything whenever I had any difficulty. I was soon in my second stage where it was as though my consciousness was kaleidoscoping through my personal Hell--any repressed, dark, dirty, scary thing locked away. I was broken down with profound humility.
The third stage started with two or three female presences calmly urging me to leave my body. It would be okay. Just let go. I had a hard time with that, still wanting so much to not let go. I wanted control. My sitter and the beings calmly convinced me to let go---and I did.
Stage 4 and there was nothingness. Just the most profound sense that I was home, everything was all right. Everything was love. I was in this state for another three or four hours, as per my sitter, but of course during this stage their was no Yowler any more.
Stage 5 and I had a very beautiful re-entry. The mushroom gods spoke to me, manifesting as my sitter (though in consensual reality, my sitter was in another room at this point). At one point, he looked at me and said "do you get it now? Everything is as it should be." I was in this stage for about a half hour, walking around and talking with the Voice in a state I believe is often called "Christ Consciousness." Eventually, things started to clear, and I felt so alive and clean. I showered, ate, and slept hard.
The next morning, night and day difference, and all body image issues I had struggled with evaporated. To this day, 14 months later, I attribute the end of my social anxiety, body image issues and fear of death to this profound pre-mortem death-rebirth experience the mushrooms gave me. My life has overall made several turns for the better, not to mention my already over-active visual imagination just exploded with ideas. I began pursuing my painting more seriously and began integrating psychedelic science studies into my school papers and class interests.
I am now a graduate working as a sleep research assistant. This job is hopefully going to open doors to one day be involved with research like MAPS is doing. Something where I can integrate my interests in psychology, counseling, entheogens and art. I believe we are on the verge of another transformation. With a greater emphasis shift on body-mind wellness, more and more people are calling the pharmaceutical companies into question. This of course was always a hot topic in my University courses. More and more people are starting to realize the power of mind and consciousness to heal, something that is also returning us to the Archaic. When comparing the psychological and physiological benefits the various plant teachers have to that of the long side-effects list of the factory-produced counter-chemicals, it didn't take me long to decide to shift my focus to understanding how these can be integrated back into our society. And with the acclaim The Spirit Molecule movie has achieved, perhaps we really are ready for another revival.
I know I have only tasted the tip (if that) of the hyperspace iceberg, but I have dedicated my life to learning more from the various states of consciousness and how they can be more fully integrated in to my life and our society. My ally has been Teonanácatl, and in just one short year I have learned many things from the mushroom gods--from very frightening to ecstatically beautiful. I will soon be embarking on Mimosa canal for another route to Truth. My interest in Salvinorum A has also grown, and due to its current legal status, may me a more practical way to introduce some of my professors and fellow psychology scholars to psychedelic therapy (not to mention Salvia's analgesic properties as well!). However, with The Spirit Molecule DVD almost in my collection, I will certainly be having intimate showings and discussion.
The Spice has at this point acted as a gentle predecessor to a much more intense experience with Psilocybin. I suppose if you ranked the Psychedelic experience on a scale of 1-5, 1 being "stoned magic show" and 5 being complete Ego death, my first (and so far only) Spice experience was a 3 (I got to the veil, had a presence and no physical boundaries) and my first psilocybin experience was a 5. So, whenever someone says "NEVER do DMT first," I think "well, I am REALLY glad I did," but I'm also glad I wasn't ripped apart by spice spiders or something my first time!
Regardless, the culmination of my scholarly interests, artistic pursuits and then the actual experiences have brought me to a beautiful, mysterious, ever-expanding point in my life. I will continue to encourage proper education and integration about these compounds, open up honest dialogue so that deeper understanding can develop, and of course will focus on my art, remembering to chop wood, carry water.
My curiosity for psychedelia began in high school but was bound to books only. After a few years of devout erowid scholarship, peppered with various articles and books, I came across Dr. Strassman's book on amazon. I started reading more and more about this endogenous tryptamine and my interest piqued. Meanwhile, I was working on completing a Bachelor's in Psychology, with concentrations on biological and counseling. I was hooked by Jung early on, which eventually lead me to the Tibetan Book of the Dead and then onto Leary and McKenna. All the while this was challenging and breaking down my Protestant boundaries...
August of 2009 and I am at my main weekend setting of my friend's house. We were throwing a birthday party for one girl and a bon voyage party for a couple of the guys. That night, 4 lovely female couch surfers arrived in time for meeting a room full of new people. A few hours in to the night, I am sitting on the couch next to one of the couch surfers, but I was talking with another friend. All of a sudden, I heard her say "...DMT..." to which I turned around and introduced myself. We chatted for a while about stuff we had read, but admitted we had never tried it. In fact, I had never had experience with any substance beyond marijuana and alcohol. A few weeks later, I was visiting my new friend and was met with an opportunity to try it together for our first time.
The three of us gathered in the basement: 1 on light duty, 1 on dose duty and 1 on take the pipe duty.
Going from normal, to everything buzzing, to all atoms of self obliterated within 30 seconds was unlike anything my readings could have prepared me for. There was a gentle homey feel to this place. It was warm and loving, and instantly brought memories back of when I cracked my head open as a child and had a near death experience.
I was aware of the stillness of the dark room again and I asked if my friends were still there. I heard them smile and say "yes!" Things kept buzzing for a while, but from start to finish I turns out it has only been 3 minutes!
Before departing, my friends gave me 3.5 grams of P. cubensis. They recommended that since I had just done DMT, I could probably eat the entire amount for my first time. When I returned home, I got to work on a new painting, which is what became the picture I am using for my avatar. (I've attached a bigger image below. I've since gifted it to the couple who introduced me to the compound. The piece is titled "Distinctly Melting Time" and is oil and acrylic on wood panel). I also bought and hungrily read through "The Spirit Molecule."
About two weeks later, at a point of transition in my life, I embarked on the trip that has changed me forever, and I am very thankful that I had had the experience with DMT before hand--it made letting go less scary.
I had 5 distinct stages to my psilocybin experience. The first began while I was at a park, beginning to see the energy of life and the lack of distinction between me and the people around me. I was working on my social anxiety in a gentle, gracious way. My sitter brought me back to my apartment when things started getting a little weirder. Having no experience himself, my sitter still was able to gently remind me to relax and let go of everything whenever I had any difficulty. I was soon in my second stage where it was as though my consciousness was kaleidoscoping through my personal Hell--any repressed, dark, dirty, scary thing locked away. I was broken down with profound humility.
The third stage started with two or three female presences calmly urging me to leave my body. It would be okay. Just let go. I had a hard time with that, still wanting so much to not let go. I wanted control. My sitter and the beings calmly convinced me to let go---and I did.
Stage 4 and there was nothingness. Just the most profound sense that I was home, everything was all right. Everything was love. I was in this state for another three or four hours, as per my sitter, but of course during this stage their was no Yowler any more.
Stage 5 and I had a very beautiful re-entry. The mushroom gods spoke to me, manifesting as my sitter (though in consensual reality, my sitter was in another room at this point). At one point, he looked at me and said "do you get it now? Everything is as it should be." I was in this stage for about a half hour, walking around and talking with the Voice in a state I believe is often called "Christ Consciousness." Eventually, things started to clear, and I felt so alive and clean. I showered, ate, and slept hard.
The next morning, night and day difference, and all body image issues I had struggled with evaporated. To this day, 14 months later, I attribute the end of my social anxiety, body image issues and fear of death to this profound pre-mortem death-rebirth experience the mushrooms gave me. My life has overall made several turns for the better, not to mention my already over-active visual imagination just exploded with ideas. I began pursuing my painting more seriously and began integrating psychedelic science studies into my school papers and class interests.
I am now a graduate working as a sleep research assistant. This job is hopefully going to open doors to one day be involved with research like MAPS is doing. Something where I can integrate my interests in psychology, counseling, entheogens and art. I believe we are on the verge of another transformation. With a greater emphasis shift on body-mind wellness, more and more people are calling the pharmaceutical companies into question. This of course was always a hot topic in my University courses. More and more people are starting to realize the power of mind and consciousness to heal, something that is also returning us to the Archaic. When comparing the psychological and physiological benefits the various plant teachers have to that of the long side-effects list of the factory-produced counter-chemicals, it didn't take me long to decide to shift my focus to understanding how these can be integrated back into our society. And with the acclaim The Spirit Molecule movie has achieved, perhaps we really are ready for another revival.
I know I have only tasted the tip (if that) of the hyperspace iceberg, but I have dedicated my life to learning more from the various states of consciousness and how they can be more fully integrated in to my life and our society. My ally has been Teonanácatl, and in just one short year I have learned many things from the mushroom gods--from very frightening to ecstatically beautiful. I will soon be embarking on Mimosa canal for another route to Truth. My interest in Salvinorum A has also grown, and due to its current legal status, may me a more practical way to introduce some of my professors and fellow psychology scholars to psychedelic therapy (not to mention Salvia's analgesic properties as well!). However, with The Spirit Molecule DVD almost in my collection, I will certainly be having intimate showings and discussion.
The Spice has at this point acted as a gentle predecessor to a much more intense experience with Psilocybin. I suppose if you ranked the Psychedelic experience on a scale of 1-5, 1 being "stoned magic show" and 5 being complete Ego death, my first (and so far only) Spice experience was a 3 (I got to the veil, had a presence and no physical boundaries) and my first psilocybin experience was a 5. So, whenever someone says "NEVER do DMT first," I think "well, I am REALLY glad I did," but I'm also glad I wasn't ripped apart by spice spiders or something my first time!
Regardless, the culmination of my scholarly interests, artistic pursuits and then the actual experiences have brought me to a beautiful, mysterious, ever-expanding point in my life. I will continue to encourage proper education and integration about these compounds, open up honest dialogue so that deeper understanding can develop, and of course will focus on my art, remembering to chop wood, carry water.
