Alright, here it goes.....
I'm new to the DMT experience. I've had around 30-40 encounters. Some have been amazing, some have been frightening, some have been liberating. Yesterday I had an experience that quite frankly disturbed me immensely.
I have yet to purchase a mg scale so I've practiced dosage amounts to where I pretty much have a good idea what said dose will provide as far as intensity goes. Without scale I'm guestimating 25-35mg.
The onset was typical to what I've experienced before. Eventually I ended up in some room where I could see all these (I'll call them child toys) in front of me. They were different shapes, cubes, spheres, plus signs and such. They were all made out of energy/colors and were vibrating and rotating in space. For some reason, I heard myself say "why am I hear...am I a baby...do I need to grow up". My thoughts now are because I saw what I perceived to be child toys had something to do with me personally...but now I'm not so sure.
So then I feel my awareness expand exponentially. I can still sense this 3D reality we all tell ourselves we exist in, but I can perceive my consciousness/awareness is now existing in a completely different realm....but its still right here....but where ever it is, its VAST!
I begin to perceive a separation to the left and right....like two separate rooms and I'm looking at a corner that defines them. One is "dark" and one is "light". I begin to have the feeling that I need to make a choice....but here is when my mind starts to come into play. I start thinking...."this is suppose to be infinite possibility...how can there only be two choices". Then I begin to try to go into one room or the other...at this point I don't care....I just don't want to be looking at this corner/separation anymore....I want to go.
Then this is where things get kind of crappy. Where the corner that separates the two rooms is...begins to form an open door into a dark closet or maybe a bathroom. The light from behind me shines in and I see this small boy. Not like any of the beings/entities/energy forms I've seen before in my experiences but like a real 3D human. I hate describing this, but I have to......
The little boy is covered in blood...he's standing and facing the wall. So instantly upon "seeing" this my mind begins to race. I have a little boy and my mind takes over and I begin to fear its him. To this moment I don't know if I feared it was him, it could be him in the future, it was me as a little boy or what the hell. But I didn't like it. I also remember thinking I could just open my eyes and it would go away. But I wanted to ride it out to find some meaning/truth/what the hell it was. I could feel I was getting caught in a trap/loop....it sucked.
At that point I started coming out of it. Needless to say I sat there and thought, and though, and thought about it. After a half hour or so I couldn't stand it anymore and had to go back in. I did another round and went in with one intent, one question. When I got there I remember seeing some aztec type face made of energy and I asked it if my Son was ok, was he going to be ok. I was told he was, that he would be fine. I felt feelings of lightness and happiness.
That for obvious reasons made me feel better. But I'm still stuck with what the heck was that other vision? Was it my Son, was it me, was it some other message? I haven't gone back since....maybe its that DMT self regulating aspect I've read about saying, "hey dude, put the pipe down".
Weird.
Any thoughts or constructive comments would be greatly appreciated.
I'm new to the DMT experience. I've had around 30-40 encounters. Some have been amazing, some have been frightening, some have been liberating. Yesterday I had an experience that quite frankly disturbed me immensely.
I have yet to purchase a mg scale so I've practiced dosage amounts to where I pretty much have a good idea what said dose will provide as far as intensity goes. Without scale I'm guestimating 25-35mg.
The onset was typical to what I've experienced before. Eventually I ended up in some room where I could see all these (I'll call them child toys) in front of me. They were different shapes, cubes, spheres, plus signs and such. They were all made out of energy/colors and were vibrating and rotating in space. For some reason, I heard myself say "why am I hear...am I a baby...do I need to grow up". My thoughts now are because I saw what I perceived to be child toys had something to do with me personally...but now I'm not so sure.
So then I feel my awareness expand exponentially. I can still sense this 3D reality we all tell ourselves we exist in, but I can perceive my consciousness/awareness is now existing in a completely different realm....but its still right here....but where ever it is, its VAST!
I begin to perceive a separation to the left and right....like two separate rooms and I'm looking at a corner that defines them. One is "dark" and one is "light". I begin to have the feeling that I need to make a choice....but here is when my mind starts to come into play. I start thinking...."this is suppose to be infinite possibility...how can there only be two choices". Then I begin to try to go into one room or the other...at this point I don't care....I just don't want to be looking at this corner/separation anymore....I want to go.
Then this is where things get kind of crappy. Where the corner that separates the two rooms is...begins to form an open door into a dark closet or maybe a bathroom. The light from behind me shines in and I see this small boy. Not like any of the beings/entities/energy forms I've seen before in my experiences but like a real 3D human. I hate describing this, but I have to......
The little boy is covered in blood...he's standing and facing the wall. So instantly upon "seeing" this my mind begins to race. I have a little boy and my mind takes over and I begin to fear its him. To this moment I don't know if I feared it was him, it could be him in the future, it was me as a little boy or what the hell. But I didn't like it. I also remember thinking I could just open my eyes and it would go away. But I wanted to ride it out to find some meaning/truth/what the hell it was. I could feel I was getting caught in a trap/loop....it sucked.
At that point I started coming out of it. Needless to say I sat there and thought, and though, and thought about it. After a half hour or so I couldn't stand it anymore and had to go back in. I did another round and went in with one intent, one question. When I got there I remember seeing some aztec type face made of energy and I asked it if my Son was ok, was he going to be ok. I was told he was, that he would be fine. I felt feelings of lightness and happiness.
That for obvious reasons made me feel better. But I'm still stuck with what the heck was that other vision? Was it my Son, was it me, was it some other message? I haven't gone back since....maybe its that DMT self regulating aspect I've read about saying, "hey dude, put the pipe down".
Weird.
Any thoughts or constructive comments would be greatly appreciated.
