Pure Evil

[Anarkid]

Last night I decided I would try my first batch of crystals from my first ever MHRB extraction. I loaded up my apparatus and began to inhale as much as I could. I filled my lungs to capacity 3 times, only letting out when I could not handle it any longer. The experience is as follows:

It starts with the magnification of the ringing in my ears. The ringing gets so loud that everything else is not real. Finally, it stops and becomes more of a hovering sound. I can FEEL something hovering above me. I KNOW it is there. At first, I am afraid.

Once I relax, the waves start. Everything around me begins to breathe and flow like water. Then it all stops. Everything looks completely normal. I feel completely sober. I hear a voice. By "hear a voice" I mean I could hear this voice like it was in my house. Not in my head.

The voice tells me to "Come" into my bedroom. My entire house is dimly lit and quiet. My bedroom is at the other end of the house behind a black veil. I can hear this voice telling me to "Come" behind that veil. I go in to my room and stand in front of the doorway to my bathroom, also covered by a black veil.

As I am staring into this veil deciding whether or not I will walk through, the voice says to me "Everything came from shadows...". That's all it said. Then I was dropped back to this world so quickly that I hardly had time to absorb this experience.

The entire experience felt very evil. Very malicious. By it's tone, I understood that it was implying that not only did everything come from shadows, but that everything will also return to shadows. The tone was very snide and proud.

I had to sit down and just be silent for a good half hour after this. I smoked some cannabis to bring me back down. This was so very profound. The voice still resides in my head..."Everything came from shadows..."........

 

[۩]

Sounds like you got punk'd.

I would tell that batch I'm not falling for such silly human tricks.

 

[Anarkid]

Sounds like you got punk'd.

I would tell that batch I'm not falling for such silly human tricks.

Why do you feel this way? I found it rather enjoyable despite how evil and unfriendly it felt. Especially for such a small amount of crystals that I used.

 

[۩]

Forgive me for being so brief.
I also don't want to influence your interpretation of your experience.
That is something for you and you alone.
It's just that if I heard a voice say that to me I would laugh out loud.

"OK prove it!" would have been my reply.

I can see hyperspace smirking and slithering away at the notion.

 

[anrchy]

Its good that you walked away from that with a good outlook. Low dose rough experiences are interesting. Luckily not as overwhelming as larger ones.

 

[Atlas_]

How much did you load into your device? What device did you use? how many hits did you take? Was it all just crystal clear like that, no patterns. My vape trips are so crazy and intense and off the wall that theres very little connection with this world like on the level you described. So I'm curious to see where we deviate from each other.

Are you saying you heard the voice after you came down? Otherwise how are you walking around?

 

[thymamai]

Spooky. Sounds like some veda vedanta wisdom you just been handed. Powerful medicine my friend.

 

[Anarkid]

How much did you load into your device? What device did you use? how many hits did you take? Was it all just crystal clear like that, no patterns. My vape trips are so crazy and intense and off the wall that theres very little connection with this world like on the level you described. So I'm curious to see where we deviate from each other.

Are you saying you heard the voice after you came down? Otherwise how are you walking around?

That is what seems to be the case for me. I'm always still very connected to this world. I have not yet had any departure from reality just bending of reality I guess you could say. I'm not sure what the issue is or if there is any issue at all. I enjoy what I experience. I do wish I could go where some people talk about. Complete departure from this realm sounds nice...

I didn't measure. I just loaded a little bit. Light bulb vaporizer. I know, I know, not the best apparatus. I just meant to test my new batch honestly. And no, it wasn't all crystal clear. Only for that small time frame during that communication. I did have visuals both open and closed eyed but nothing amazing. The voice came to me mid trip and its like it took me away from the trip and made everything very real and sober.

 

[Global]

Perhaps you should ponder Plato's cave allegory...

 

[SKA]

Interresting. I know JUST the brand of evil you speak of. Though I'm not sure wether it's truely evil.
It does seem to have a rather sadistic sense of humor, but ultimately it is more a sinister being than an evil one.

It was handing you knowledge. Knowlegde that, when comprehended, could take away your fear of shadows/death/the unknown. But it could also be interpretted as "evil" when you're not ready for this knowledge.

Yes this life is finite. Yes the abyss of the unknown troubles me greatly too.
I don't think it was evil, I think your Ego couldn't handle the implications of it's message; That the Eternal Life it deems to have is an illusion.
Don't shoot the messenger though Be glad Someone or Something reminded you of/prepared you for how life is finite, lest you forget.

This Evil voice/character may actually be a part of you that has no fear for the dark/death, because it meets it with humor. Perhaps your Ego (wrongly) misinterprets this humor-in-the-face-of-death strategy as malice?



I did once see in a DMT visions what I knew to be pure evil indeed:
A wall of geometric, razorsharp, metalic blades and armor-plates came rushing down from above,
like an infinite garagedoor rolling down. The character of this wall of blades & armor plates
was one of pure aggression. The same energy that comes off a ruthless army of Fascists marching
into your hometown with 1000nds of boots. I immediately recognised it as "The Evil" in this world
and I saluted/recognised it with dread. But I was compelled to remain calm and not give in to fear. But to me this Militairistic, threatening Malice was like the deathsquads & troops of the tyrant that is my Ego. And to follow the Ego's instinctive response to seeing itself, to fight it(itself essentially), would be VERY dumb.

I'm pretty sure that if I had become angry or scared, the Evil would have had power over me and would have used it to do me great harm. I just refuse to let this adversary disturb my inner peace in any way, which seems to be it's soul-purpose.

Maybe that fearless-ness and humor can help you too when facing true evil,
but I wouldn't be too quick to deem this voice Evil. The Ego is quick to condemn anyone or anything to be evil whenever it contradicts the illusions that the Ego wishes to maintain.
The Ego is like a repressive regime; Don't value/believe it's judgements of outside influences too much.

 

[InLaKesh]

A saying comes into my mind , could not resist to post it :

"There is no shadow whithout light!"

IMHO the "source" is void of duality.

 

[Pandora]

I hope you are beginning to feel a bit better and are also starting the very serious integration process that imo DMT demands when we choose to work with it. I suppose it bears repeating one more time that we Nexians tend to agree after a few experiences with the molecule that it is NOT a recreational drug. Thus, we try to launch with healthy bodies, minds at peace and intention to do some personal work.

Needless to say, DMT is just a molecule and it is everywhere in Nature. We evolved AFTER it was already well established in plants as far as I know. It is not good. It is not evil. It is part and parcel of Mother Nature. Like lightning storms.

Do you know what Ann Shulgin calls the shadow and shadow work? I wonder if that was the message that you got from EVERY single level of your mind, of external reality and the molecule (or at least I suspect that is how it feels).

The following is a description of my PERSONAL experiences/thoughts. I don't know if they are relevant or can help, but I would hate to think of you stuck in this space . . .

I am not a kid. I am so old I can no longer have babies. As far as I can determine, just about ALL of the IMPORTANT and DEEP work I have done in this life has stemmed from the shadow.

Our minds are HUGE and can encompass so much that much of the material does not reside in the conscious, easy to access mind. BUT, it is STILL there, below the surface, acting like an iceberg that controls behavior and thinking but leaves me frequently stumped (until I do the work) as to why this little piece of floating ice appears to be ruining everything.

Damn straight everything comes from shadows. But, from that I have found light, healing, a different way of viewing things. My mind is the floating ice. The shadows of my mind are the submerged icebergs. DMT is my catalyst/fuel source. It allows me to MELT the surface ice.

What am I left with? The BIG business that is below the surface. Sometimes downright ugly, sharp and huge. Unmoving, unresponsive to conventional tricks. And yet, . . . and yet, . . . truly the HEART of the matter. And if I can see that, I can begin to work on it. I can even come here and explain that my PERSONAL shadow has turned out to be a deep fear of loss of others (via death). I'm working on it . . . . :| Sometimes it's slow going. LOL and I'm not getting a time extension (on my own life) here. But, at least I dug it up and shone a klieg light on it (with the help of the catalyst molecule).

So, perhaps there is hope . . . .yeah . . . .perhaps DMT is all about hope and it is hope that emerges from the shadows when we do the work.

Please keep us posted and I do hope you will find some integration to be possible soon.

 

[Orion]

Don't be afraid to see all sides of the coin. All the evils stem from the same source as everything good in the world. You just got to see it from a very specific angle, of which there are an infinite amount.

 

[Anarkid]

By no means did this experience scare me away from DMT or even from that experience in particular. I would love nothing more than to talk with that sinister being again at greater length. Evil holds no fear for me and neither does darkness or death. In regards to life being finite, this is a bold claim. So is life being infinite. The only ones who know the truth of this matter are the dead ones. I tend to believe that consciousness cannot be finite and must live on forever. I do not believe consciousness originates in our bodies or even at our birth. I have no proof and neither does anyone else so I just don't dwell on such things for too long.

That being said, I am not in this for recreation. I want to learn. I want to explore. Whether it be my own mind or some spiritual realm beyond that of our day to day lives. I do enjoy the experiences the DMT has given me so far but at this point, I have only had 2 relevant experiences. Every other time is purely recreational. It has given me nothing more. Just ecstasy and simple OEVs accompanied by some simple CEVs. While this is great and all, if I want to just have a good time, I'll use other substances. Some say it is because I am not ready. I doubt this. I have been dreaming of this for years. I have been studying night and day for months. DMT holds no fear for me. I am not scared of anything it can show me. I want to be ripped from my comfort zone.

In closing, I have come to the conclusion that my vaping method is not sufficient. No more light bulb. Looks like a "crack" pipe it is for me. I will be buying one ASAP and increasing my dose to scary amounts. I have always had a high tolerance to pretty much all substances, so maybe DMT as well. Time will tell.

 

[Entheogenerator]

By no means did this experience scare me away from DMT or even from that experience in particular. I would love nothing more than to talk with that sinister being again at greater length. Evil holds no fear for me and neither does darkness or death. In regards to life being finite, this is a bold claim. So is life being infinite. The only ones who know the truth of this matter are the dead ones. I tend to believe that consciousness cannot be finite and must live on forever. I do not believe consciousness originates in our bodies or even at our birth. I have no proof and neither does anyone else so I just don't dwell on such things for too long.

That being said, I am not in this for recreation. I want to learn. I want to explore. Whether it be my own mind or some spiritual realm beyond that of our day to day lives. I do enjoy the experiences the DMT has given me so far but at this point, I have only had 2 relevant experiences. Every other time is purely recreational. It has given me nothing more. Just ecstasy and simple OEVs accompanied by some simple CEVs. While this is great and all, if I want to just have a good time, I'll use other substances. Some say it is because I am not ready. I doubt this. I have been dreaming of this for years. I have been studying night and day for months. DMT holds no fear for me. I am not scared of anything it can show me. I want to be ripped from my comfort zone.

In closing, I have come to the conclusion that my vaping method is not sufficient. No more light bulb. Looks like a "crack" pipe it is for me. I will be buying one ASAP and increasing my dose to scary amounts. I have always had a high tolerance to pretty much all substances, so maybe DMT as well. Time will tell.

Those "crack pipes" really aren't much more efficient than the lightbulb method. If you really want to see what DMT has to offer, I'd suggest you get yourself a convection-style vaporizer. :thumb_up:

 

[112233]

By no means did this experience scare me away from DMT or even from that experience in particular. I would love nothing more than to talk with that sinister being again at greater length. Evil holds no fear for me and neither does darkness or death. In regards to life being finite, this is a bold claim. So is life being infinite. The only ones who know the truth of this matter are the dead ones. I tend to believe that consciousness cannot be finite and must live on forever. I do not believe consciousness originates in our bodies or even at our birth. I have no proof and neither does anyone else so I just don't dwell on such things for too long.

That being said, I am not in this for recreation. I want to learn. I want to explore. Whether it be my own mind or some spiritual realm beyond that of our day to day lives. I do enjoy the experiences the DMT has given me so far but at this point, I have only had 2 relevant experiences. Every other time is purely recreational. It has given me nothing more. Just ecstasy and simple OEVs accompanied by some simple CEVs. While this is great and all, if I want to just have a good time, I'll use other substances. Some say it is because I am not ready. I doubt this. I have been dreaming of this for years. I have been studying night and day for months. DMT holds no fear for me. I am not scared of anything it can show me. I want to be ripped from my comfort zone.

In closing, I have come to the conclusion that my vaping method is not sufficient. No more light bulb. Looks like a "crack" pipe it is for me. I will be buying one ASAP and increasing my dose to scary amounts. I have always had a high tolerance to pretty much all substances, so maybe DMT as well. Time will tell.

Those "crack pipes" really aren't much more efficient than the lightbulb method. If you really want to see what DMT has to offer, I'd suggest you get yourself a convection-style vaporizer. :thumb_up:

Infused leaf! Get yourself some acetone from Home Depot, dissolve your spice in said acetone, add the leaf mixture of your choice; consider mullein leaf for your first time. Mix, place in well-ventilated area, stirring occasionally to ensure all the leaf is fully saturated. All it to dry, acetone dries very quick and clean. Smoke your mixture in a bong like you would weed. Then watch as the falls apart around you. No more crack pipe, no more light bulb, no more tricky vaping with expensive devices.

Once you've tried infused leaf and get familiar with the insanity of plain DMT, add Harmalas and marvel at the endless quality of this molecule.

 

[Anarkid]

By no means did this experience scare me away from DMT or even from that experience in particular. I would love nothing more than to talk with that sinister being again at greater length. Evil holds no fear for me and neither does darkness or death. In regards to life being finite, this is a bold claim. So is life being infinite. The only ones who know the truth of this matter are the dead ones. I tend to believe that consciousness cannot be finite and must live on forever. I do not believe consciousness originates in our bodies or even at our birth. I have no proof and neither does anyone else so I just don't dwell on such things for too long.

That being said, I am not in this for recreation. I want to learn. I want to explore. Whether it be my own mind or some spiritual realm beyond that of our day to day lives. I do enjoy the experiences the DMT has given me so far but at this point, I have only had 2 relevant experiences. Every other time is purely recreational. It has given me nothing more. Just ecstasy and simple OEVs accompanied by some simple CEVs. While this is great and all, if I want to just have a good time, I'll use other substances. Some say it is because I am not ready. I doubt this. I have been dreaming of this for years. I have been studying night and day for months. DMT holds no fear for me. I am not scared of anything it can show me. I want to be ripped from my comfort zone.

In closing, I have come to the conclusion that my vaping method is not sufficient. No more light bulb. Looks like a "crack" pipe it is for me. I will be buying one ASAP and increasing my dose to scary amounts. I have always had a high tolerance to pretty much all substances, so maybe DMT as well. Time will tell.

Those "crack pipes" really aren't much more efficient than the lightbulb method. If you really want to see what DMT has to offer, I'd suggest you get yourself a convection-style vaporizer. :thumb_up:

Infused leaf! Get yourself some acetone from Home Depot, dissolve your spice in said acetone, add the leaf mixture of your choice; consider mullein leaf for your first time. Mix, place in well-ventilated area, stirring occasionally to ensure all the leaf is fully saturated. All it to dry, acetone dries very quick and clean. Smoke your mixture in a bong like you would weed. Then watch as the falls apart around you. No more crack pipe, no more light bulb, no more tricky vaping with expensive devices.

Once you've tried infused leaf and get familiar with the insanity of plain DMT, add Harmalas and marvel at the endless quality of this molecule.

I may try this method soon as well then. I hear nothing but good things about infused leaf and I have wanted to try it. The "crack" pipe is like 3$ at my local shithole gas station so I can't see the harm in trying that.

 

[InLaKesh]

I just want to add:
wise words from Pandora here.
THX

 

[null24]

Seconding 112233 here. Until you can get your tentacles on a vap'r, infuse thee some leaf!

P.S. mullien is awesome as a carrier...

as always;Happy trails, friend...

 

[Anarkid]

Perhaps you should ponder Plato's cave allegory...

I just finished reading on this. Deep. The combination of the experience I had and this allegory are so very moving to me. It makes sense now. Thank you so much for recommending this. You have no idea how much this means to me...