Questioning Reality, Insight and or Advice needed

[roscoe1228]

Hello again my Psychonaut friends,

I just did approximately 20mg through GVG and I thought I was going to have to be locked up in a sanitarium. There must have been excess in the pipe or something, because the instant I blew out the hit, everything just froze, like time itself and I knew I was going to get or experience something intense. This was a eyes wide open experience and I don't know how to explain it thoroughly, but I need to get the words or thoughts here.

It was a fast onset, fastest I have ever experienced in my short time using this amazing molecule. The cubism dimension formed right in front of my eyes, and then everything started like replicating or folding in on itself in a way. Like I would blink and another reality would appear or something would change or morph. It got to be so congested and bad I could barely breath, I wasn't sure it was safe to breath here. It felt like even breathing it was like replicating in myself and suffocating me with like this foamy sort of flat square pieces and my clothes started drooping and it was like I was becoming part of my apartment, I was walking around and had to open my door to get some air, big mistake.

I went outside and there was raging winds and ice flying around and the building and the stair case going up the side was all like leaning and oddly familiar, yet scary in a way and the cars going by sounded like the loudest roaring thunder, I can only describe it as like that tornado roar, but more profound. The trees were flexing and it looked almost like a nightmare before Christmas sort of landscape. I had to get back inside as i couldn't take the sound, but could at least breath again. I looked at the door and it was not the same door I came out of.

I came back in and the shortness of breath again, and it was a sort of cubism reality, everything was different, but the TV was was normal and the show on it was normal, like it was out of place. I finally had to get to one place and saw my phone and all I could do was hey google, call my brother, I said it like 5 times and apparently they went through at first he thought I butt dialed, then next call he said he was like, "oh I know whats going on".

It has been about a half hour since I came down now and I can still feel a mild bit of distress in my chest and am still trying to process everything. I am sure more will come to me, once I have had a chance to decompress. It kind of scared the crap out of me and I was wondering if anyone else has had similar things happen or can offer any advice or thoughts on what exactly happened, well maybe not exactly, but you know what I mean. I don't know how to process this one, it was so intense, I still cannot believe that this molecule is, I am not sure words can give it meaning. I mean when time stops for a second or 2 and then it's like a roller coaster ride and things morph in front of you and you are not only seeing, but smelling, feeling, hearing and are actually there and all senses attune to that place. Like feeling remotes change from smooth and roundish to square rigid light plastic and headphones on your head are now like toy lego headphones, and everything.

The thing that comes to mind when I think about my breathing, was like I was in a dimension with air or maybe it wasn't air, not fit for humans to breath. I can't describe it, but I felt it, saw it, smelled and heard this stuff. It was as real to me as the sky, or trees or anything that we perceive as real. More to come I am sure. I hope that this made some sort of sense to someone or many because I am still trying to form the vocabulary of this experience.

I really don't know what to think anymore. Is this real, or is that? Is it another dimension or just all in my brain as we use very little of ours as it is. Does this open up other areas and allow us into the stream of consciousness? Are we in the dream or are we the ones dreaming this? I don't know, but I have had about 4 super super profound experiences in the past 5 weeks and they only present more questions. I am not sure I have received any answers yet, or haven't decoded them if I have.

Thanks and please, once again, any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.

 

[Loveall]

I would take a break and go easy.

What you have described can happen and is not something to be terribly concerned about, as it is usually temporary.

If unpleasant thoughts enter your mind during this time, I would observe them and not fight them. Maybe these kind of thoughts are something you need to slowly digest over time. For example, are there other realities? Well, maybe (who knows) - but does it really matter in our day to day experience of our beautiful base reality? Obsessing and fighting the new thoughts can cause mental "indigestion", so I would simply roll with them.

This could be an opportunity to reground yourself and emerge healthier than ever before.

For what it is worth, this is what I would do if you are not doing it already:

0) Read through the HEALTH & SAFETY section
1) Stop use of all psychedelics
2) Exercise regularly (mix of aerobic, strength, flexibility, flowart)
3) Eat healthy, get plenty of natural plants and mushrooms. Avoid processed foods.
4) Spend time in nature. Go on long hikes and learn to garden
5) Strive to learn, read books and/or listen to podcasts (these can feed knowledge into the above points)
6) Look into mindful meditation

Gradually strive for these kind of things. If they represent changes in your life take them one step at a time. Easy does it, slowly change your behaviors and keep the ones that make you feel better. Don't beat yourself up if you slip up now and then. Focus on the feeling of improvement to keep the positive behaviors and then look to add new behaviors.

This is only what I have found personally helpful after hearing advice from others here on the nexus. I could of course be wrong and only really have my experience to share.

Wishing you the best. Cheers.

 

[sbios]

I'd agree with Loveall that it's a good idea to take some time to get grounded and integrate your experiences. They seem to be quite powerful and so more the needs to take the time to digest your experiences.

Personally I found it distracting to have my eyes open once launched into hyperspace. I find it much much more enjoyable to be fully present in the hyperspace instead of two worlds at once. I also prefer to maintain my breathing in a slow and deep rhythm without holding or stopping during the trip.

 

[downwardsfromzero]

any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated.

Adding a few paragraph breaks in your report would greatly assist readability.

I'd love to read it but as it stands at the moment, all I see is a wall of letters.

 

[roscoe1228]

Thanks a ton for the advice Love all, I broke it into paragraphs as well downwardsfromzero. It's a bad habit of mine I am working on. I just needed to get out what I needed at the time. I couldn't even read it after you mentioned it.

Anyways I am definitely taking a break before it breaks me. I think the time away to reflect would be the best thing as I definitely need to regroup. I stared dabbling with psychedelics again after years to explore and to hopefully gain since insight and delve into the deep end.

I actually just started getting back into insight meditation and need to work on the diet and exercise. The latter is the hard part as I've had multiple back surgeries, but I do what I can.

Can you recommend any books, I'm an avid reader and could use a few good titles.

Thanks again for the insight and advice, I appreciate it and am looking forward to sharing my experience.

 

[bismillah]

If I can comment on a minor detail, I prefer not to trip in urban environments, because, well... it's unnatural. You don't notice usually but when you're in the space the sharp angles and the rumble of traffic do become very uncomfortable. Not what you want to lean on in case things start going sour. It's easier to stay calm in more natural environments, even if the experience is more than you bargained for.

But yeah, lay low for now.

 

[Loveall]

If I can comment on a minor detail, I prefer not to trip in urban environments, because, well... it's unnatural. You don't notice usually but when you're in the space the sharp angles and the rumble of traffic do become very uncomfortable. Not what you want to lean on in case things start going sour. It's easier to stay calm in more natural environments, even if the experience is more than you bargained for.

But yeah, lay low for now.

I second this, especially for mescaline. There is something special about mescaline and nature for me. Makes me feel grounded and connected to nature in an deep organic sense.

Best of luck in your journey roscoe1228, looking forward for any future updates should you choose to share.

 

[Felnik]

That's a great point about setting. In my early days of experimenting I quickly realized that inside a house or near man-made objects was not going to work for me. I moved on to only doing it out in nature as far away from man made objects as possible.
It's interesting because the few times that I overstepped things
and got a huge dose breathing was definitely an issue. Inability to breath in this situation kicks the flight or flight reaction in and full on panic can ensue.
I can relate to your experience because the single scariest experience I had to date was one where there were these terrifying fast folding black and white visuals and my sense of self splintering into a million fragments. The scariest part was that I felt like I was going to stay this way forever. I think its definitely a turning point when you want to flush your entire supply and never do it again. Take a break and if you decide to go back measure your dose going forward. It may take a little time to process your experience but You'll be fine.

 

[goddard]

Yesterday, i thought i was going in for a very mild meditae trip.. Just put a tiny bit of dmt sandwiched with some very weak changa...
I smoked closed my eyes and....oh oh.. Oh oh no
Open my eyes to see normal.. Nothing normal everything lego
My legs green like a frog.. Almost about to dissolve completly
I reasurre myself ill be fine.. Enjoy the lego world before its over..
Had a few moments there then back to normsl..


Dmtttttttt wtf

 

[dragonrider]

If I can comment on a minor detail, I prefer not to trip in urban environments, because, well... it's unnatural. You don't notice usually but when you're in the space the sharp angles and the rumble of traffic do become very uncomfortable. Not what you want to lean on in case things start going sour. It's easier to stay calm in more natural environments, even if the experience is more than you bargained for.

But yeah, lay low for now.

I second this, especially for mescaline. There is something special about mescaline and nature for me. Makes me feel grounded and connected to nature in an deep organic sense.

Best of luck in your journey roscoe1228, looking forward for any future updates should you choose to share.

I also agree with this, but if you live in a very urban area and you do not feel comfortable doing it too far away from home, having some plants in the room, already changes the atmosphere a lot.

 

[null24]

If I can comment on a minor detail, I prefer not to trip in urban environments, because, well... it's unnatural. You don't notice usually but when you're in the space the sharp angles and the rumble of traffic do become very uncomfortable. Not what you want to lean on in case things start going sour. It's easier to stay calm in more natural environments, even if the experience is more than you bargained for.

But yeah, lay low for now.

I second this, especially for mescaline. There is something special about mescaline and nature for me. Makes me feel grounded and connected to nature in an deep organic sense.

Best of luck in your journey roscoe1228, looking forward for any future updates should you choose to share.

I don't think OP was talking about mescaline, but hey! Thanks.:thumb_up:

As far as advising him on setting, for some folks, maybe one who has had, say, multiple back surgeries, getting out into nature to smoke DMT may not be as easy as it is for some. Also, they may live in an area where that requires transportation they may not have...

Also, some folks don't have access to safe spaces in nature. I love smoking outside, but since I have a tendency to get really weird on the stuff and stuff get strange around me, I like comfortable spaces and unfamiliar ones in nature might be just as if not more overwhelming than one's apartment in a city.

Just saying, shoulding on folks is unnecessary. If they were uncomfortable there, in sure OP'll find somewhere else to explore in the future.

And hey OP, sounds nutty, and par for the course. Please for your sake do be careful with this stuff, you don't want to break your reality, at least not until you're ready for it. And there's plenty of time for that.

Books? I'm not the biggest reader in the world, let me think of some resources though... Really, talking helps, and lots of folks here have been there.

Anyone else have book suggestions for the OP to help him integrate? Besides TMK?

 

[Exitwound]

Anyone else have book suggestions for the OP to help him integrate? Besides TMK?

Tired old man in me suggest browsing forum, especially respective sections to art and literature. There are troves of information there.

@OP

You can literally start reading any mystic/esoteric/religious literature, it will all start making sense now. But you need to ground yourself and not to stray too far away from reality of things.

You will start viewing things in different light and will find traces of hidden truth in everything and everywhere: music, art, books, religions.

For me personally, one of the first books I read and the most inline with spice revelations was this one: The Book: On the Taboo Against Knowing Who You Are

By Alan Watts. All in all it was very grounding and helped to integrate, I used to listen to Alan a lot.
But currently I am more into in-depth literature on particular subjects.
For example I am reading about old Slavic religious practices. Did you know they share a lot of similar gods with Hindus? I find it interesting

 

[Daturas]

I'm no expert, but welcome to the wonderful world of psychedelics. Every time I take a walk to the other side of my consciousness there are always novel and ever more interesting facets of our constructed reality to decipher.

This is what makes these substances so important. The subjective adventure differs with each individuals experience.. To share and find a common footing within these altered states, and construct a consensus of perception of the influence should prove to be more then just interesting..

The most important thing to remember is that you are alive now, and able to experience these things. No matter how dreadful, or beautiful you perception may be. I hope you are able to integrate these experiences and wish you the best!



kind regard -D