Yesterday was a Very Good Day,
I began with 4 hits of LSD in the morning and re-dosed with 4 more an hour later. 45 minutes after this I was getting some very nice, strong effects. Usually this is difficult for me to achieve with LSD these days. Everything moving/breathing, lit up. and brightly colorful. Looking directly at something usually destroys OEV for me with LSD, but this simply intensified it. Moving patterns on a blank wall would appear to drip and take on a 3-D quality. Interesting, light synesthesia effects following suggestion/thought, including some tactile. Bizarrely distorted body perception and a sense of being very close to launching right out of it.
Things were going very well, the euphoria was strong, music was great, but Nemo Amicus had not returned from a morning museum trip. For some reason, even though I felt great, I couldn't face the DMT. I had this imminent, shaky sense that if I consumed a decent dose I was REALLY GOING TO BE IN FOR IT, without a better sense of what that might mean, if it were good or bad, if it should be feared or revelled in . . .
I went into the Nexus chat room tripping hard and ranted a little. Didn't take me long to tell my friends that things were going great, but that I couldn't face the DMT. Spork gently suggested, "a little taste," which really got my mind spinning. Hmmm, . . . a little taste . . . it was my intention to make this an LSD/DMT day . . .Nemo Amicus had just returned home from the museum.
So after hanging out with Nemo, talking, laying down eyes closed trying to compose/prepare my mind (interesting process while tripping hard - like bringing order to chaos), I took a little wimpy hit off the GVG and lay back. The tiny hit caused a pretty closed-eye light show and radicaly upped the ante on the open eyed hallucinations. Also, the audio and tactile effects became significant as well as these senses becoming confused and synesthetic in themselves.
I repeated the process a while later but with a bigger, slower hit. This time I got fantastic CEV's of infinitely detailed/jeweled/circuited/connected very colorful columnar structures. The details and connections immediately made me think this was either a cyberspace vision or a vision of the inner workings of my brain. I was not able to penetrate beyond the exterior of the nearest column.
I repeated the process a while later but with two bit, slow hits. That did it. Holy frak. No catatonic fall-over. The trip quickly ramped up in the usual DMT way - plenty of time to put the equipment down, give Nemo Amicus a smile and thumbs up gesture and comfortably compose myself on the bed.
I believe I saw the Chysthantenum for the first time. An infinitely detailed, beautiful, slowly spinning, very green (for me) mandala/flowerlike formation that had the features of a dome. This quickly changed to images of an immense hyperdimensional place that had what I can only describe as stacks of billions of souls. Each soul was contained in a vaguely cube-like structure. The stacks of souls were pulsing and moving. I saw stacks in the colors of brown, black and purple. They were surprisingly beautiful, but daunting in their sheer numbers.
Then the breakthrough happened and I was inside the stacks of souls. I was not ego-dead. Each "cube" was a distinct DMT realm - contained yet infinite and very busy. Each cube contained a single, active, happy, playful entity. These entities were sliding around on, spinning on and throwing out fantastic, irridescent, saturated, tapering 2-D strips of ecstatic love/energy/light. Each soul could easily contact and interact with the other souls. I was in their realm and moving around - seeing the detailed contents of each of these cubes.
I telepathically questioned the entities, confirmed this was a vision of post-death consciousness and received the most incredible, massive, loving reassurance about my concerns having to do with death. There was no sense of judgement or rules here, . . . the sense that this just was . . . a post-death realm for consciousness is all that came through. The entities were happy to see me and acted psychotherapeutically reassuring towards me as they showed me around.
I have received this personal core message from DMT before. But, the past 3 months have been trying, . . . filled with various stressors and a couple of semi-serious major-life transitions. My memories and conversion were intact, but I kept moving further away from the DMT sea and closer to the shore of our regular, twisted, ill society. My anger and sadness began to return. I hurt people who I love and care about. I was in a sea of regression in so many ways.
I doubt that all of this is healed/resolved, but the entire thing was very helpful and reassuring, as mentioned. Today is a beautiful day with a lessening of body pain that is remarkable. Once again I find myself very, very thankful for all of this and for all of you.
Peace & Love,
Pandora
I began with 4 hits of LSD in the morning and re-dosed with 4 more an hour later. 45 minutes after this I was getting some very nice, strong effects. Usually this is difficult for me to achieve with LSD these days. Everything moving/breathing, lit up. and brightly colorful. Looking directly at something usually destroys OEV for me with LSD, but this simply intensified it. Moving patterns on a blank wall would appear to drip and take on a 3-D quality. Interesting, light synesthesia effects following suggestion/thought, including some tactile. Bizarrely distorted body perception and a sense of being very close to launching right out of it.
Things were going very well, the euphoria was strong, music was great, but Nemo Amicus had not returned from a morning museum trip. For some reason, even though I felt great, I couldn't face the DMT. I had this imminent, shaky sense that if I consumed a decent dose I was REALLY GOING TO BE IN FOR IT, without a better sense of what that might mean, if it were good or bad, if it should be feared or revelled in . . .
I went into the Nexus chat room tripping hard and ranted a little. Didn't take me long to tell my friends that things were going great, but that I couldn't face the DMT. Spork gently suggested, "a little taste," which really got my mind spinning. Hmmm, . . . a little taste . . . it was my intention to make this an LSD/DMT day . . .Nemo Amicus had just returned home from the museum.
So after hanging out with Nemo, talking, laying down eyes closed trying to compose/prepare my mind (interesting process while tripping hard - like bringing order to chaos), I took a little wimpy hit off the GVG and lay back. The tiny hit caused a pretty closed-eye light show and radicaly upped the ante on the open eyed hallucinations. Also, the audio and tactile effects became significant as well as these senses becoming confused and synesthetic in themselves.
I repeated the process a while later but with a bigger, slower hit. This time I got fantastic CEV's of infinitely detailed/jeweled/circuited/connected very colorful columnar structures. The details and connections immediately made me think this was either a cyberspace vision or a vision of the inner workings of my brain. I was not able to penetrate beyond the exterior of the nearest column.
I repeated the process a while later but with two bit, slow hits. That did it. Holy frak. No catatonic fall-over. The trip quickly ramped up in the usual DMT way - plenty of time to put the equipment down, give Nemo Amicus a smile and thumbs up gesture and comfortably compose myself on the bed.
I believe I saw the Chysthantenum for the first time. An infinitely detailed, beautiful, slowly spinning, very green (for me) mandala/flowerlike formation that had the features of a dome. This quickly changed to images of an immense hyperdimensional place that had what I can only describe as stacks of billions of souls. Each soul was contained in a vaguely cube-like structure. The stacks of souls were pulsing and moving. I saw stacks in the colors of brown, black and purple. They were surprisingly beautiful, but daunting in their sheer numbers.
Then the breakthrough happened and I was inside the stacks of souls. I was not ego-dead. Each "cube" was a distinct DMT realm - contained yet infinite and very busy. Each cube contained a single, active, happy, playful entity. These entities were sliding around on, spinning on and throwing out fantastic, irridescent, saturated, tapering 2-D strips of ecstatic love/energy/light. Each soul could easily contact and interact with the other souls. I was in their realm and moving around - seeing the detailed contents of each of these cubes.
I telepathically questioned the entities, confirmed this was a vision of post-death consciousness and received the most incredible, massive, loving reassurance about my concerns having to do with death. There was no sense of judgement or rules here, . . . the sense that this just was . . . a post-death realm for consciousness is all that came through. The entities were happy to see me and acted psychotherapeutically reassuring towards me as they showed me around.
I have received this personal core message from DMT before. But, the past 3 months have been trying, . . . filled with various stressors and a couple of semi-serious major-life transitions. My memories and conversion were intact, but I kept moving further away from the DMT sea and closer to the shore of our regular, twisted, ill society. My anger and sadness began to return. I hurt people who I love and care about. I was in a sea of regression in so many ways.
I doubt that all of this is healed/resolved, but the entire thing was very helpful and reassuring, as mentioned. Today is a beautiful day with a lessening of body pain that is remarkable. Once again I find myself very, very thankful for all of this and for all of you.
Peace & Love,
Pandora
