Ready for change

[isthisreal]

So over the past several years, around my first experience DMT trip, I have had a very subtle voice inside of me telling me I need to change.. virtually every aspect of my life. I was a cocaine addict, sex addict, alcoholic and violent person. I survived through the storm of hardcore drug and alcohol addiction and I was able to pull myself out of it, thanks in part to a massive wake up call when I smoked DMT, which basically asked me "what the hell are you thinking and why are you living this way?".

So now, I am clean of cocaine for three years, and coming up on a month of alcohol/tobacco free. I feel raw and I feel worn out, my soul is tired and probably not ready to dive into the psychadelic realm any time soon. I can't wrap my head around the hurricane of self hatred and destruction I surived, situations where I could have died violently, and the people I hurt who I love so much.

I'm not going to turn this into a story of self pity because it's quite the opposite, and I have never felt this optimistic about my life. I am ready move forward into an elevated state of being, sober and awake, full of stoke, awe and curiosity- this is how I was meant to live. I will no longer treat psycho active plants as a way to "get high". I am ready to step up to the plate and live as the Divine wanted me to begin with, before I got caught up in the darkness. One of my greatest fears was dying drunk or addicted, in a low vibratory rate of consciousness full of hate and resentment.. and today I can say that although I am no where close to where I want to be, I am not afraid of death and I am content with progress I am making on this new path.

So anyway, that is why I am here- and I hope to learn from you all and contribute something back in my own time. I am twenty six from Northern New Mexico and have experienced the effects of ayahuasca, smoked DMT, peyote, mushrooms, and salvia divinorum- but as I said before, the circumstances I used them before was not in a respectful manner and I want to renew my relationship with psycho actives.. It may be months or years before I begin using them again because I want a strong spiritual foundation before I dive back in.

Thanks for having me.

 

[didnof]

hi there and welcome, and thanks for the background to yourself and your history with dmt. your story has a familiar tone to many others where people claim that dmt is one of the main factors to people getting their lives back on track, yet its use is still ftowned upon and its benefits completely over looked.

The spiritual development aspect seems a common benefit for all, and there's many like minded people on here as i'm sure you've found already.

 

[des]

Hello isthisreal, glad you made it through the dark times. I myself had been in chemical oblivion. I would almost dare stuff to mess me up! I'm so glad I never got offered dmt then or knew how to extract it as I believe it would have destroyed me. But saying that,maybe it would've helped me?. I imagine it may have scared me off of doing anything ever again.

All the years I was just getting completely messed up I didn't realise I was really just fighting against the unnatural unspiritiual paradigm we now live in. I realised that I just had to change myself. I read a quote from gandhi saying "be the change you wish to see in the world" and I've been practicing it as much as I can.

 

[Just.Ask.The.Axis]

Cocaine is a beast. Not many folks put limits on it. Some think that since they can fall asleep afterwards it must not be that bad. Glad you kick it. :thumb_up:

Welcome here!

 

[SisterTripDublin]

so nice to hear your story love from Ireland xxx

 

[Synkromystic]

Hi isthisreal. Congratulations on making it through the worst of it, and the desire to change your ways. Alot of us hear have been through some serious addiction problems. Stay strong!!!!!!!!!!!!

 

[Bl1nd]

Great intro. Wishing you a peaceful and insightful journey.

 

[Varox]

Welcome (back) and congratulations. I never had the misfortune of addiction but I did find myself thinking erroneously about drugs and psychedelics in the sense of ranking the "highs" as "better" states of consciousness than being sober. It was clearly the doorstep to addiction as the pleasure was coming from escaping the reality which, for better or worse, we are bound to experience during 99,99999999% of our time on earth. This is of course plainly wrong! The altered states of consciousness we achieve through drugs are not "better", they are just different and should be embraced as a complement and not as a substitute of our waking consciousness. If you go into psychedelics (or any other drug) out of hatred (or any other negative feeling) towards your waking consciousness -which is nothing else than how you feel while sober- then you are in for a ride to perdition. I actually take this further... if any drug does not help me feel better about my waking consciousness then I just move on. This is why highly addictive substances are for me from the start out of the question as they try to remove me from soberness instead of enhancing my soberness. If DMT stops ever making me feel good about myself while sober then I will also leave it behind. There is no use in putting certain substances on the pedestal in a general sense. You should check out what these substances can do for YOU.

Be safe!