ChaoticMethod
Eye of the Beholder
Hello Nexians,
It is not my first incursion into the Nexus nor into the DMT/Hyperscace territory. I have been on this forum in the past and posted a couple of times under another nickname. I left for a while, feeling that I had to take a little break from psychedelics in order to re-center myself. Now that a new balance has been found and that I feel the need to contribute to the nexus once again, I feel that I need a new identity here.
So, as I said, I had an experience that led me to stop my psychonautic explorations for a while because it was too intense and had shown me some flaws I had to work on before I could play with my mind again. The event involved too many different molecules and a specially high dosage of 2CB that I probably shouldn't have taken. It all ended up with me crying, confusing my friends for my parents, screaming in terror because I KNEW they were trying to convert me to their strange cult involving alien gods and crystals, and being convinced that they wanted to get me outside of the house and kill me. It wasn't all that bad until everybody in the room started to melt into that huge intergalactic slug who confronted me and asked me telepathically (well you know....) if I REALLY wanted to go that deep into such mindgames.
It was all really weird to me because before that one experience, I had smoked DMT more than 50 times, had a couple of very high dosage LSD and mushroom trips and countless more moderate experiments, and never actually had what we could call a "bad trip". After some introspection after the event, I realized what went wrong and decided I had to change some bad habits before I could have any more deep experiences with psychedelics.
So here I am, a year later, with a life that makes much more sense to me. I managed to focus on life rather than to escape through drugs. Found a job after being alone at home for way too long, moved with my best friend who's presence is a motivation everyday, got back to school in the art domain, and finally found someone to share love with, and hopefully experiment with in the future.
I am a painter and always found psychedelics to be an infinite source of inspiration and beauty. I also feel the need to explore my consciousness to learn more about my own mental structures, my spirituality and to heal myself. I know that they are a powerful tool and I am more than happy to feel the need to go into Hyperspace again!
It is not my first incursion into the Nexus nor into the DMT/Hyperscace territory. I have been on this forum in the past and posted a couple of times under another nickname. I left for a while, feeling that I had to take a little break from psychedelics in order to re-center myself. Now that a new balance has been found and that I feel the need to contribute to the nexus once again, I feel that I need a new identity here.
So, as I said, I had an experience that led me to stop my psychonautic explorations for a while because it was too intense and had shown me some flaws I had to work on before I could play with my mind again. The event involved too many different molecules and a specially high dosage of 2CB that I probably shouldn't have taken. It all ended up with me crying, confusing my friends for my parents, screaming in terror because I KNEW they were trying to convert me to their strange cult involving alien gods and crystals, and being convinced that they wanted to get me outside of the house and kill me. It wasn't all that bad until everybody in the room started to melt into that huge intergalactic slug who confronted me and asked me telepathically (well you know....) if I REALLY wanted to go that deep into such mindgames.
It was all really weird to me because before that one experience, I had smoked DMT more than 50 times, had a couple of very high dosage LSD and mushroom trips and countless more moderate experiments, and never actually had what we could call a "bad trip". After some introspection after the event, I realized what went wrong and decided I had to change some bad habits before I could have any more deep experiences with psychedelics.
So here I am, a year later, with a life that makes much more sense to me. I managed to focus on life rather than to escape through drugs. Found a job after being alone at home for way too long, moved with my best friend who's presence is a motivation everyday, got back to school in the art domain, and finally found someone to share love with, and hopefully experiment with in the future.
I am a painter and always found psychedelics to be an infinite source of inspiration and beauty. I also feel the need to explore my consciousness to learn more about my own mental structures, my spirituality and to heal myself. I know that they are a powerful tool and I am more than happy to feel the need to go into Hyperspace again!
