cave paintings
Rising Star
Hello Nexus! Well I thought I'd post my most recent venture into the hyperspace realm. Yesterday SWIM ate approximately 2-2.5 grams of cubensis. I spent my day with a good friend of mine at the beach, he had taken a dose of lucy. It was interesting to contrast our experiences throughout the day. I tended to be much quieter, and would frequently zone out to the usual bemushroomed thought patterns. He would be talking and analyzing concepts, juxtaposing and bisecting topics and their dualism, as one tends to while on lsd. I had a few stresses throughout the trip, mainly miniature problems exacerbated by my mushrooms anxieties. My friend and I decided we should smoke dmt.
At this point I had mainly come down from my mushroom trip, though I was feeling strange still and I had a body feeling. After about 15 minutes of deciding whether or not I should enter, I decided I should. I had a good bit of nervousness before the trip, only because of previously overwhelming experiences. I always return knowing that theres nothing to be scared of, I just have a hard time convincing my self of that before the trip, or having faith.
We smoked about 4 bowls of caapi leaf out of a bong before the trip. We sat back to back as we had done on a couple previous ventures. We took about ten deep breaths and we both simultaneously ignited out bowls. I was using a bong and he was using a GVG. My bowl was a mix of dmt and jungle spice, as was my friends. The dosages were approximated to be about .03. I underdosed incidentally and didnt break through whatsoever the first time around. I was just left with a glowing sensation.
The underdosage gave me courage however. I felt ready to re-enter. I waited for my friend to return and I asked him if he could separate me off another dose, as I didnt break through. He loaded up my bowl, with a good bit more this time. Another mix of jungle and dmt.
We both went in again. I got about 3 1/2 rips before I felt I was leaving. I closed my eyes. A world of entities appeared before me. I opened my eyes as I was lifting off. This seemed to offend them. I experienced a surging sensation. A very strong, intimidating range of entities, all denying me access to the realm. I was attacked for a bit so-to-speak. I was mentally battered. I saw visions of them hitting me almost. They kept repeating, "DONT COME UNTIL YOURE READY". I kept repeating to them or to myself that I felt I was ready. I repeated the mantra or quote to myself "that it is only through our willingness to expose ourselves repeatedly to annhilation that we find that part of ourselves that is indestructible."
they seemed to scoff at this, or were almost laughing at the idea of my apparently indestructibility. I wondered what I could be doing wrong, I was met with a wall of beings essentially.
I decided that I had offended them by opening my eyes, aswell as coming to them with earthly, or irrelevant questions, when I could be looking for more. I came into the experience with a time limit set aswell, I had a trolley to catch and I wanted to blast off within a set period of time, which is silly and disrespectful I now realize. I believe I came into the experience with some weight or problems that I was almost asking about. They just seemed offended by the idea of me asking such silly questions. I also think they were offended that I entered the experience not in my most peak state of mind.
I decided to hit the remains of my bowl. I decided though, that I would only re-enter as a listener. As soon as I began to surrender to the idea of this, the beings began to act more friendly. They smiled, the welcomed me almost. I had been welcomed before in past experiences. Its quite a comforting feeling knowing that youre in the care of good spirits.
They reassured me that I was doing everything right. They reminded me that it really is all a test in this physical reality. They told me to be strong, and that was the key. Once I listened, it was almost a pat on the back.
I seek to gain more depth out of my next experiences. Any feedback on going about this, or things that have worked for other members is much appreciated!
Peace and love nexians!
"...Some part of me can't wait to see what life's going to come up with next! Anticipation without the usual anxiety. And underneath it all is the feeling that we both belong here, just as we are, right now."
— Alexander Shulgin
At this point I had mainly come down from my mushroom trip, though I was feeling strange still and I had a body feeling. After about 15 minutes of deciding whether or not I should enter, I decided I should. I had a good bit of nervousness before the trip, only because of previously overwhelming experiences. I always return knowing that theres nothing to be scared of, I just have a hard time convincing my self of that before the trip, or having faith.
We smoked about 4 bowls of caapi leaf out of a bong before the trip. We sat back to back as we had done on a couple previous ventures. We took about ten deep breaths and we both simultaneously ignited out bowls. I was using a bong and he was using a GVG. My bowl was a mix of dmt and jungle spice, as was my friends. The dosages were approximated to be about .03. I underdosed incidentally and didnt break through whatsoever the first time around. I was just left with a glowing sensation.
The underdosage gave me courage however. I felt ready to re-enter. I waited for my friend to return and I asked him if he could separate me off another dose, as I didnt break through. He loaded up my bowl, with a good bit more this time. Another mix of jungle and dmt.
We both went in again. I got about 3 1/2 rips before I felt I was leaving. I closed my eyes. A world of entities appeared before me. I opened my eyes as I was lifting off. This seemed to offend them. I experienced a surging sensation. A very strong, intimidating range of entities, all denying me access to the realm. I was attacked for a bit so-to-speak. I was mentally battered. I saw visions of them hitting me almost. They kept repeating, "DONT COME UNTIL YOURE READY". I kept repeating to them or to myself that I felt I was ready. I repeated the mantra or quote to myself "that it is only through our willingness to expose ourselves repeatedly to annhilation that we find that part of ourselves that is indestructible."
they seemed to scoff at this, or were almost laughing at the idea of my apparently indestructibility. I wondered what I could be doing wrong, I was met with a wall of beings essentially.
I decided that I had offended them by opening my eyes, aswell as coming to them with earthly, or irrelevant questions, when I could be looking for more. I came into the experience with a time limit set aswell, I had a trolley to catch and I wanted to blast off within a set period of time, which is silly and disrespectful I now realize. I believe I came into the experience with some weight or problems that I was almost asking about. They just seemed offended by the idea of me asking such silly questions. I also think they were offended that I entered the experience not in my most peak state of mind.
I decided to hit the remains of my bowl. I decided though, that I would only re-enter as a listener. As soon as I began to surrender to the idea of this, the beings began to act more friendly. They smiled, the welcomed me almost. I had been welcomed before in past experiences. Its quite a comforting feeling knowing that youre in the care of good spirits.
They reassured me that I was doing everything right. They reminded me that it really is all a test in this physical reality. They told me to be strong, and that was the key. Once I listened, it was almost a pat on the back.
I seek to gain more depth out of my next experiences. Any feedback on going about this, or things that have worked for other members is much appreciated!
Peace and love nexians!
"...Some part of me can't wait to see what life's going to come up with next! Anticipation without the usual anxiety. And underneath it all is the feeling that we both belong here, just as we are, right now."
— Alexander Shulgin
Great report, and great insight. Thank you for sharing your experience with us. I have wondered about tests, and remaining strong before. It would be interesting to see what the spice will show me and teach me. It remains to be seen 