halten
Rising Star
Hello Nexus!
Last night was the night, and I had been waiting a long time. I finally finished my degree, and for once had some real time to not worry and embrace the spice. I had made some 10x cappi leaf about a week before, and eagerly prepared a 1:1 changa. Changa really is the way to go, straight spice is so...crazy, and yet changa is still intense but much more under control. I just smoke it instead of vaporizing it however, so it is still a little harsh. Also note that when I smoke spice, it usually takes a few misfires for me to get going.
After about 20 minutes of silent meditation on my bed, concentrating solely on my breathing, I finally lowered my heartrate enough and lit the pipe. I'm glad to have found the ~right dose for me, about 90mg, and could see spirits and faces in everything. There were oh so many spirits last night! Even my bubbler looked like someone stretching their arms out to me, welcoming me. Faces, buddhas, spirits...they were just everywhere!! Suddenly my dark room just started going nuts. Thats the only real way I can describe it, other than there was a tornado of everything around me inside my mind.
So I laid down and tried to just let it do its thing. I saw even more faces, and many many people. For the most part my vision was black and white with a few hues of gray, much like all of my experiences. I was in a crazy room that was constantly folding into itself and unfolding itself, and I was both inside it and outside it. The spirits there had a very "African" vibe, as far as their "clothes" and patterns on those clothes. For some reason, someone (maybe mama aya?) was telling me that they were my ancestors. There was one that was very in my face, had crazy googly eyes and was jumping around and dancing, I suppose I can call him a "jester". (sorry for the quotation marks every other word, still trying to make sense of things
)
Eventually the spirits had left, but I had smoked a decent amount of caapi at this time, and things were still very fuzzy and I wasn't all here. I spent about the next ten minutes in bed rolling around in ecstasy, laughing, and just in utter bliss. I realized how important my family is to me and how much of a better son I really need to be. I eventually got up and went to the bathroom and just got lost staring in the mirror.
I am only 20 years old, and for the first time I was able to say to myself, "Oh my God! I've become a man". Not only that, but I saw how beautiful I was and that I didn't need to be as self conscious about myself as I usually am. I am not a yoga expert, but it's something I want to get into, and looking in the mirror I was in the pose where you just stand as straight as possible. I could see my brow and facial structure changing, and looked almost catlike. I have a connection with cats, and ever since first learning about Ayahuasca I've been wondering what my spirit animal would be. It was truly an amazing experience.
On top of that, I did purge a little phlegm like many say they have with smoked caapi. This stuff looked very dark, and I honestly have no intention of smoking cigarettes anymore. I haven't been smoking for long, but this definitely is going to start the process of quitting completely.
I'm so sorry for the rantiness, but I could not ask for a better experience! I'm still treading the waters, but this was definitely my first "breakthrough". You could easily compare me to a child that's just ridden their first roller coaster. My mind is blown and I just want to tell everyone everything!
Thank you again Nexus!
Last night was the night, and I had been waiting a long time. I finally finished my degree, and for once had some real time to not worry and embrace the spice. I had made some 10x cappi leaf about a week before, and eagerly prepared a 1:1 changa. Changa really is the way to go, straight spice is so...crazy, and yet changa is still intense but much more under control. I just smoke it instead of vaporizing it however, so it is still a little harsh. Also note that when I smoke spice, it usually takes a few misfires for me to get going.
After about 20 minutes of silent meditation on my bed, concentrating solely on my breathing, I finally lowered my heartrate enough and lit the pipe. I'm glad to have found the ~right dose for me, about 90mg, and could see spirits and faces in everything. There were oh so many spirits last night! Even my bubbler looked like someone stretching their arms out to me, welcoming me. Faces, buddhas, spirits...they were just everywhere!! Suddenly my dark room just started going nuts. Thats the only real way I can describe it, other than there was a tornado of everything around me inside my mind.
So I laid down and tried to just let it do its thing. I saw even more faces, and many many people. For the most part my vision was black and white with a few hues of gray, much like all of my experiences. I was in a crazy room that was constantly folding into itself and unfolding itself, and I was both inside it and outside it. The spirits there had a very "African" vibe, as far as their "clothes" and patterns on those clothes. For some reason, someone (maybe mama aya?) was telling me that they were my ancestors. There was one that was very in my face, had crazy googly eyes and was jumping around and dancing, I suppose I can call him a "jester". (sorry for the quotation marks every other word, still trying to make sense of things
)Eventually the spirits had left, but I had smoked a decent amount of caapi at this time, and things were still very fuzzy and I wasn't all here. I spent about the next ten minutes in bed rolling around in ecstasy, laughing, and just in utter bliss. I realized how important my family is to me and how much of a better son I really need to be. I eventually got up and went to the bathroom and just got lost staring in the mirror.
I am only 20 years old, and for the first time I was able to say to myself, "Oh my God! I've become a man". Not only that, but I saw how beautiful I was and that I didn't need to be as self conscious about myself as I usually am. I am not a yoga expert, but it's something I want to get into, and looking in the mirror I was in the pose where you just stand as straight as possible. I could see my brow and facial structure changing, and looked almost catlike. I have a connection with cats, and ever since first learning about Ayahuasca I've been wondering what my spirit animal would be. It was truly an amazing experience.
On top of that, I did purge a little phlegm like many say they have with smoked caapi. This stuff looked very dark, and I honestly have no intention of smoking cigarettes anymore. I haven't been smoking for long, but this definitely is going to start the process of quitting completely.
I'm so sorry for the rantiness, but I could not ask for a better experience! I'm still treading the waters, but this was definitely my first "breakthrough". You could easily compare me to a child that's just ridden their first roller coaster. My mind is blown and I just want to tell everyone everything!
Thank you again Nexus!
