One theme I have noticed since I have began my work with (oral) DMT has been regression.
It took me back to the beginning. I've consciously processed my environment in-utero, and spent many nights in wailing, helpless infantile terror. I relearned the feeling of life's first struggle for breath, felt the thoughts of those around me as I slept in a crib, saw the way my environment impacted neurological development... daresay I even got *used* to it.
I regressed again the other day, but it was different... it seems like I was fixed at a slightly LATER developmental point, maybe, say, 4-6 years old? After getting violently sick, I just laid bug-eyed and dreamy on my boyfriend's chest, feeling (and precisely KNOWING) exactly what all kids feel when they want to lie with their parents, protection, comfort, peace...
But the difference in regression of psychological age is what most interests me. Has anyone else had extensive experience of regression? I wonder, if there is eventually a point where OLD garbage will be sorted out and I can experience a psychedelic maturity, a point at which everything is finally integrated?
I have no complaints about regression, as it is profoundly fascinating, and makes a lot of sense in light of the childhood that I (never really :? ) had. But it does also make me wonder... is this symptomatic of real progress? A measure after all this time and all these regressions, a manifestation of things actually psychologically, slowly but surely REALLY sorting themselves out? If my meaning is clear...
I know only I can answer my own questions and interpret these things, ultimately, but I found this significant because there seems to be a clear structure unfolding within repeated experience, and I wonder if anything similar has been experientially congruent in anyone else, further evidence of some kind of pattern or structure?
It took me back to the beginning. I've consciously processed my environment in-utero, and spent many nights in wailing, helpless infantile terror. I relearned the feeling of life's first struggle for breath, felt the thoughts of those around me as I slept in a crib, saw the way my environment impacted neurological development... daresay I even got *used* to it.
I regressed again the other day, but it was different... it seems like I was fixed at a slightly LATER developmental point, maybe, say, 4-6 years old? After getting violently sick, I just laid bug-eyed and dreamy on my boyfriend's chest, feeling (and precisely KNOWING) exactly what all kids feel when they want to lie with their parents, protection, comfort, peace...
But the difference in regression of psychological age is what most interests me. Has anyone else had extensive experience of regression? I wonder, if there is eventually a point where OLD garbage will be sorted out and I can experience a psychedelic maturity, a point at which everything is finally integrated?
I have no complaints about regression, as it is profoundly fascinating, and makes a lot of sense in light of the childhood that I (never really :? ) had. But it does also make me wonder... is this symptomatic of real progress? A measure after all this time and all these regressions, a manifestation of things actually psychologically, slowly but surely REALLY sorting themselves out? If my meaning is clear...
I know only I can answer my own questions and interpret these things, ultimately, but I found this significant because there seems to be a clear structure unfolding within repeated experience, and I wonder if anything similar has been experientially congruent in anyone else, further evidence of some kind of pattern or structure?