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Reliving birth trauma?

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zknarc

zknarc

Rising Star
I know death and being born are often themes but has anyone else relived birth trauma on DMT?

My experiences before have been mostly emotional but this experience was really quite physical. After breaking through I suddenly had a really intense feeing of something round my neck and not being able to breathe easily, I didn’t panic but is was prolonged and intense. I then had a sense of tentacles slowly twisting out of part of my head and real pain feeling there was parts of my head missing and I was clutching the two sides of my head. This then changed into a very strong feeling of my mouth was part of a mask or a tube and I couldn’t breathe, I felt I had to get something through this into my mouth but somehow I just couldn’t. Again, strong painful feeling of ‘lack’ or something missing around my chest and real sensitivity around the belly-button area of my stomach.

My last (much milder) trip had a sense of just after being born but this really felt like I was somehow reliving parts of the birth process where I was kielland forceps delivered and had the umbilical cord around my neck strangling me which nearly killed me. I know we are not meant to ever have any memory of birth but I wonder if this trauma can be stored unconsciously. With my EMDR treatment the first effect of it was for two days feeling like I had something stuck around my neck.

My depression is quite a lot better today anyway, I really hope this has helped me.
 
A very interesting experience!

I have no doubt felt myself out back into younger states, even as far as infancy. I have never, however, felt any legitimate memory of birth or any feelings that I might. That said, my mom claims my birth was extremely easy. It would be pretty intruging, in my opinion, if memories from that traumatic experience were coming back.

I would believe it but like you said I have never actually heard of people having memories of their births. I would keep digging inside yourself and continue to critically think about what you find. It sounds ike you are doing a great job thus far. :thumb_up:
 
it reminds us a movie we have seen....here is a spoiler:

The Journals of Knud Rasmussen (2006) ⭐ 6.4 | Drama

[youtube]
(the hooded woman behind ain't a human, she is his helper chudail)


"...happy people should not worry about hidden things. Spirits are offended if we think too much." - Avva

the full movie is online here (donation based)..

BTW: Did you know that according to Persian legend it was the simurgh that taught the ancients how to perform cesarian section?
 
At the end of my first DMT experiance, I was reborn, it felt like actual birth, I felt I was being pushed through a membrane, since I was crying earlier in this experiance, my face was wet, and I felt as though I really had just been born...

Birth and death are actually far more similar than one would initially think...

It's these radical transitional states...from the womb into life, from life into the after death, and I'm sure it doesn't stop there...

Our conscious-being is likely transition in and out of New means of existance for an infinite amount of time...

-------

Description of this event:

the first time I smoked DMT I consumed 200mgs, light-yellow translucent Dimethyltryptamine crystals on top of high-grade marijuana, I cleared the DMT as well as the marijuana in a single breath, and before I could exhale (or even count to 5) I was in an overwhelming state of intense psychedelia. Visually the world was not recognizable, time ceased to exist, I remember going into a panic, thinking "get this shit out of me!" And exhaling as rapidly as possible...but it was too late. I remember looking around, I was at the bottom of a foggy mountain with dirt roads, I was overcome with an intense feeling of panic and deja-vu, I felt like a lost child, everything I knew about who I was or my life or earth seemed like a distant dream, like I dissolved out of existence, I interpreted this as dying, I knew that I was dead, and I was emotionally overwhelmed while confronting the event of my death...at first you want to reach out for help, you think "call the fire department, or I need to call my family", but you quickly realize it's just you and death and you have to come to terms with it alone. I could not tell if I was breathing or not, I would take air in, but couldn't feel it, I then noticed a pain in my chest, a giant mantis like being had its claws in my chest, it proceeded to tear open my chest and stomach removing all my organs and insides, I was about to go into shock when I saw a bright green light flash over my shoulder, it nearly hit me, it then became a beautiful geometric object,a glowing stone or jewel, morphing and color changing. The mantis then put this object in my torn up corpse. The mantis then began to make billions of these objects, each one unique and radiating beautiful colored light, and my hollowed out corpse was filled with them, replacing all the organs that had been removed. Then I was sealed up in a burning flash of red light, and my newly rebuilt body was propelled into an orange light where I was resurrected...then I felt as if I was being pushed through a membrane, I was being born....then back to reality....those who were there said in reality I curled up into a ball and began to cry for 15 minutes, I was wondering why my face was wet, because it felt like I had actually just went through being born...any way the immense deep spiritual and psychological implications of this experience left me for ever transformed, reborn as a new person entirely, it was the single most meaningful thing that has ever happened to me. -eg
Click to expand...

-eg
 
During the onset of DMT I always have the feeling of being a baby where I can easily be very spooked by the smallest thing like all adult defences and rationalisations are removed. In psychotherapy the view seems to be very much that it is internalisation of what parents have said about birth that gets carried while primal therapy quite adamant the ‘the body remembers’.

In dealing with my depression and anxiety I’m at a point where I just accept some things just have to remain mysteries - I cannot analyse and dissect everything and understand. My DMT experiences seem to be rather atypical though.
 
Did you ever read anything from Stanislav Grof and about transpersonal psychology?

He talks a lot about this experience of reliving the birth experience, and how important it can be as a part of a therapeutic/self-growth process. He had experience with psychedelics, and eventually invented a drug-free method of reaching similar states through breathing. Might be of interest to help you understand/deal with these experiences?

I always felt kinda left out in this subject since I was born out of a c-section, lol. No passing through the birth canal for me :D Maybe that's why I'm like this :twisted:
 
zknarc said:
During the onset of DMT I always have the feeling of being a baby where I can easily be very spooked by the smallest thing like all adult defences and rationalisations are removed. In psychotherapy the view seems to be very much that it is internalisation of what parents have said about birth that gets carried while primal therapy quite adamant the ‘the body remembers’.

In dealing with my depression and anxiety I’m at a point where I just accept some things just have to remain mysteries - I cannot analyse and dissect everything and understand. My DMT experiences seem to be rather atypical though.
Click to expand...

I know exactly what you mean!

I call it "the blank slate", and like a child, your culture, your ontology, your programming has all been sent back to square one...

I also have a reoccurring hallucination, I'm at the bottom of a mountain, there's a winding dirt road leading up it, and I feel like a lost child...

-eg
 
endlessness said:
Did you ever read anything from Stanislav Grof and about transpersonal psychology?

He talks a lot about this experience of reliving the birth experience, and how important it can be as a part of a therapeutic/self-growth process. He had experience with psychedelics, and eventually invented a drug-free method of reaching similar states through breathing. Might be of interest to help you understand/deal with these experiences?


I always felt kinda left out in this subject since I was born out of a c-section, lol. No passing through the birth canal for me :D Maybe that's why I'm like this :twisted:
Click to expand...


I'm very curious about holographic breathwork, but know very little, is there a book or site you could possibly recommend?

-eg
 
Interesting report. From the way you describe it, it could well be a reliving of your birth experience.

All events surrounding birth are pre-verbal. There is at that time no verbal processing and storing capability, so the only way to store events is in the form of physical (and emotional) states.

There are many more types of body work than holotropic breath work that can also help to bring a person in contact with areas of the self that analytical talk therapy cannot reach.
 
pitubo said:
Interesting report. From the way you describe it, it could well be a reliving of your birth experience.

All events surrounding birth are pre-verbal. There is at that time no verbal processing and storing capability, so the only way to store events is in the form of physical (and emotional) states.

There are many more types of body work than holotropic breath work that can also help to bring a person in contact with areas of the self that analytical talk therapy cannot reach.
Click to expand...

I'm convinced I re-lived my birth, or simply birth in general, as well as experienced death, these intense, traumatic transitional gateways all have similarities...it's indescribable, I try my best, but still fall short, but, yes, I'm convinced i relived my (a) birth...

I'm unaware of these other techniques, like breath work, presently...but want to learn about them...

I get tons of criticism for my claims that the etheogenic experiance is essential in spiritual development, I'm not saying it's the "key" and I'm not saying it's "the only way", but I am saying that it would be difficult to travel the path without it, and those who choose not too may be spiritually neotenized...

If there are methods to obtaining novel mental states or Entheogenic states of being which don't involve entheogens, I think I should investigate them.

I briefly read about holotropic breath work (my auto correct keeps changing it to holographic and I'm tired of fixing it) and some of its potentials, and while interested was also very skeptical...

Again, I'm not one of these people who can induce placebo spirituality from "airy-fairy" practices...

I'm reminded of the mckenna speech where he claims during these practices your told "push! Keep trying, go further" yet with psychedelics your saying "where are the brakes!"

“Once you find psychedelics you’re not looking for the accelerator anymore. You’re looking for the brakes on your spiritual vehicle. You have suddenly found the means to achieve the stated goal, which is union with the divine, or oneness, or something like that.”

-mckenna
Click to expand...

I've experimented with mindmachines, dreamachines, brainwave entrainment, isochronic tones / binaural beats, meditation, yoga, Transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), sensory deprivation, fasting, ordeal, etc...

...And have been moderately impressed, to a person who is very mindful of their conscious baseline there is actual effect, though I've failed to reach the state's desired through these methods...

Holotropic breath work is one of the last for me to explore, I never got into breathing work in meditation or yoga very heavily, and know little about it, I know less about holographic breath work or Stanislav Grof...

Any information would be much appreciated, thanks,

-eg
 
There's a documentary titled "dark star: H.R. Giger's world"

With in the first 15 minutes of the film we see stanislov grof, Mr.Grof begins relating giger's work to birth trauma...

By seeking the source of his own nightmares and disturbing fantasies, Giger discovered independently from the pioneers of modern consciousness research, the paramount
psychological importance of the trauma of biological birth. . . . The birth process
also involves violent elements in the form of the assault of the uterine contractions
on the fetus, as well as the fetus' aggressive response to the situation.
This reaction takes the form of amorphous fury of the biological organism
whose life is seriously threatened. Suffering and vital threat engender
in the fetus a sense of vital threat and overwhelming anxiety

From H. R. Giger and the Zeitgeist of the Twentieth Century

Observations from Modern Consciousness Research

Stanislav Grof, M.D., Ph.D.

H. R. Giger and the Zeitgeist of the Twentieth Century: Observations from Modern Consciousness Research by Stanislav Grof, M.D.
Click to expand...

In the film on giger, grof speaks about the fetus being trapped in the process of birth, and how we probably do all we can to block this trauma...

Any way, I can see this dark psychedelia in gigers art, but this was the first time I had related it to birth trauma...

All very DMT like in my eyes...

-eg
 
Grof in "dark star: HR giger's world

I found a section of the giger film where grof discusses birth trauma (in link above), everything he says fully relates to the topic of birth trauma

I've always seen giger as being able to represent the "dark side" of psychedelia, but this was the first instance where I related it to birth trauma...

I see an artist like Alex Grey as representing the light in psychedelia, while on the opposite spectrum there is HR giger representing the darkness in psychedelia (or in "deep human psychology" )

...there is this crazy, destructive, and dark side to psychedelia, the doors song "not to touch the earth" has always captured the feeling of being on a heavy trip, and watching the world around you become destroyed violently, existance dissolves in fire and you are laughing maniacally in the center of the destruction...

- YouTube

Profitez des vidéos et de la musique que vous aimez, mettez en ligne des contenus originaux, et partagez-les avec vos amis, vos proches et le monde entier.
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Giger represents a different side of dark psychedelia...it captures this beautiful darkness, full of deep emotion, it reminds me of the psychedelic experiences where I end up weeping in beautiful melancholy...

The psychedelic experiance is as variable as our psychology itself

...yet I love finding these artistic expressions which act as intricate metaphors of these experiences.

Relating birth trauma to DMT was easy for me, as my first exposure to the compound resulted in a peak experiance, it was very very much like what the sufi call "fanna"...

When I first began posting in this thread it was simply because experiencing birth was a huge aspect of my DMT breakthrough, I re-lived the trauma of being born (after having to first endure the trauma of death and the "between" )

I feel as though that even though initially I was ignorant to what people like grof had to say on the topic, that the DMT itself conveyed the message to me, and now I can listen to people like grof, but it's in relation to my personal experience...

Even if I had never heard grof, the DMT made it clear...Though grof did a better job at articulating all this than I ever could...

-eg
 
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