River Monkey
Charlie
This is has been taken from a much longer piece of writing about a psychedelic experience which culminated in my first DMT trip. This is the part about the DMT experience. If anyone is interested I can post the rest up somewhere else.
I had been quietly observing M and V as they tumbled down the DMT rabbit hole, and as they slowly returned to reality, I began to realise that I was ready to try DMT. I had been sitting on a quarter gram of pure n,n DMT for about 6 months by this point, slowly preparing and researching. I had begun to feel ready to try it, but had simply been waiting for the perfect opportunity to present itself. I was at the tail end of a revelatory psychedelic experience among 2 experienced DMT users. I was completely mentally prepared, and I slowly and carefully loaded up a pipe with a small amount of weed and about 5-10mg of DMT. Now at this point I wasn't sure if my DMT was N,N-DMT or 5-meo DMT. They are quite similar but differ in the type of experience (visual vs. auditory) and their dosage differ wildly. 20mg of 5-meo would be a heroic dose, but 20mg of N,N is a regular dose, hence me starting low. I brought the pipe to my lips and gently started heating the crystals. In the inhale a small plume of the initial hit was lost to the air around me, but I held in the rest and kept hitting the pipe and holding in the smoke.
I lay back, waiting for a cataclysmic ego shattering experience….
Nothing.
Well I say nothing, I felt a mood lift, and I felt small skittering patterns crossing my vision. The visual effects, albeit minor made me confident that this was not the 5-meo DMT and I could afford to up the dose.
I immediately loaded up another pipe, this time with a little more, maybe 10-20mg, took a deep breath and inhaled.
As I sat back the room started to change. The huge 42 inch screen in front of me stayed the same, but all the walls around it, my companions and the rest of the room dissolved into darkness, small patterns skittered across my vision, but much more prominently than last time.
Damn, another threshold experience.
The third experience was more successful. I sat contemplating my options for about 20 minutes. I wanted so dearly to have a DMT experience. I decided to slowly load another pipe.
As I loaded up the pipe with somewhere over 20mg, it could have been 20, it could have been 35 I realised this time felt very different. I was much more contemplative and prepared for my mind to be unravelled. When the pipe was finally loaded, I sat on a cushion on the floor with my legs folded, pipe it in my hands and did something a bit different. I meditated more strongly and focused than I had ever been before. I was stating my intentions for my experience. I was asking for guidance, wisdom, understanding and direction. I was preparing for a big deal.
For the third time I looked down as the flame licked the bowl, and felt the harsh plastic taste of the DMT taint the wonderful water-cured home-grown bud it was rested on. I inhaled and lay back, this time shutting my eyes.
I was nearly instantly transported to a world of the most wondrous, vivid and informative CEVs I have ever seen. I was met at the start by a female entity, who told me in a soft and kind voice that this was not the big ego shattering experience (or 'the big one' as she put it) that I was expecting, but that didn't matter because the 'big one' would happen very soon (not today she said) and she still had a lot to teach me to prepare me for that day and help me with some of my questions.
I was then taken on what I can only describe as a detailed colourful visual metaphor for various functions of my brain, firstly I was shown what the DMT was doing, I could see it recharging different parts of my psyche, I could see my mood being lifted and my senses tingling, I could see the body high that it was building for me. It was special, very special. Out of the blue I heard a voice; I think it was M or DG asking how it was going. I muttered a monosyllabic response to say that it was all going well. As I refocused after this distraction I had been taken to a place that was a graphic representation of my memories, both short term and long, each with a visual cue to what the memory contained. It seemed like about an hour that I spent in the 'memory bank' re-living powerful memories, some from the trip, some from other trips, and a few really emotional happy times from my days travelling round Africa. It was beautifully presented and all the emotion was emulated perfectly. The final part of the trip showed me several potential paths that I was now standing at a crossroads to. It showed me a life as a Shaman, then a life devoted to addiction then a premature death, then it showed me helping people. I won't go into all the different versions of my own future it showed me and the precise lessons it taught me, as they are so personal that A: I wouldn't expect anyone to really understand it without a whole lot of sensitive background information, and B: I would prefer a lot of it to remain personal to me. But it showed me the changes I need to make, and gave me some very good tips on ways of improving my relationships with my family and friends.
At this point I started slowly slipping back into reality, completely unable to vocalise any of the experience coherently. I felt wonderful, like a magical wisdom and warmth had been injected into my soul. The DMT had worked as a magical and positive closure for the whole trip. I had a few bong hits, and lay down eventually drifting off to sleep, after having several staring competitions with the cat, watching DG bond with it adorably.
I had been quietly observing M and V as they tumbled down the DMT rabbit hole, and as they slowly returned to reality, I began to realise that I was ready to try DMT. I had been sitting on a quarter gram of pure n,n DMT for about 6 months by this point, slowly preparing and researching. I had begun to feel ready to try it, but had simply been waiting for the perfect opportunity to present itself. I was at the tail end of a revelatory psychedelic experience among 2 experienced DMT users. I was completely mentally prepared, and I slowly and carefully loaded up a pipe with a small amount of weed and about 5-10mg of DMT. Now at this point I wasn't sure if my DMT was N,N-DMT or 5-meo DMT. They are quite similar but differ in the type of experience (visual vs. auditory) and their dosage differ wildly. 20mg of 5-meo would be a heroic dose, but 20mg of N,N is a regular dose, hence me starting low. I brought the pipe to my lips and gently started heating the crystals. In the inhale a small plume of the initial hit was lost to the air around me, but I held in the rest and kept hitting the pipe and holding in the smoke.
I lay back, waiting for a cataclysmic ego shattering experience….
Nothing.
Well I say nothing, I felt a mood lift, and I felt small skittering patterns crossing my vision. The visual effects, albeit minor made me confident that this was not the 5-meo DMT and I could afford to up the dose.
I immediately loaded up another pipe, this time with a little more, maybe 10-20mg, took a deep breath and inhaled.
As I sat back the room started to change. The huge 42 inch screen in front of me stayed the same, but all the walls around it, my companions and the rest of the room dissolved into darkness, small patterns skittered across my vision, but much more prominently than last time.
Damn, another threshold experience.
The third experience was more successful. I sat contemplating my options for about 20 minutes. I wanted so dearly to have a DMT experience. I decided to slowly load another pipe.
As I loaded up the pipe with somewhere over 20mg, it could have been 20, it could have been 35 I realised this time felt very different. I was much more contemplative and prepared for my mind to be unravelled. When the pipe was finally loaded, I sat on a cushion on the floor with my legs folded, pipe it in my hands and did something a bit different. I meditated more strongly and focused than I had ever been before. I was stating my intentions for my experience. I was asking for guidance, wisdom, understanding and direction. I was preparing for a big deal.
For the third time I looked down as the flame licked the bowl, and felt the harsh plastic taste of the DMT taint the wonderful water-cured home-grown bud it was rested on. I inhaled and lay back, this time shutting my eyes.
I was nearly instantly transported to a world of the most wondrous, vivid and informative CEVs I have ever seen. I was met at the start by a female entity, who told me in a soft and kind voice that this was not the big ego shattering experience (or 'the big one' as she put it) that I was expecting, but that didn't matter because the 'big one' would happen very soon (not today she said) and she still had a lot to teach me to prepare me for that day and help me with some of my questions.
I was then taken on what I can only describe as a detailed colourful visual metaphor for various functions of my brain, firstly I was shown what the DMT was doing, I could see it recharging different parts of my psyche, I could see my mood being lifted and my senses tingling, I could see the body high that it was building for me. It was special, very special. Out of the blue I heard a voice; I think it was M or DG asking how it was going. I muttered a monosyllabic response to say that it was all going well. As I refocused after this distraction I had been taken to a place that was a graphic representation of my memories, both short term and long, each with a visual cue to what the memory contained. It seemed like about an hour that I spent in the 'memory bank' re-living powerful memories, some from the trip, some from other trips, and a few really emotional happy times from my days travelling round Africa. It was beautifully presented and all the emotion was emulated perfectly. The final part of the trip showed me several potential paths that I was now standing at a crossroads to. It showed me a life as a Shaman, then a life devoted to addiction then a premature death, then it showed me helping people. I won't go into all the different versions of my own future it showed me and the precise lessons it taught me, as they are so personal that A: I wouldn't expect anyone to really understand it without a whole lot of sensitive background information, and B: I would prefer a lot of it to remain personal to me. But it showed me the changes I need to make, and gave me some very good tips on ways of improving my relationships with my family and friends.
At this point I started slowly slipping back into reality, completely unable to vocalise any of the experience coherently. I felt wonderful, like a magical wisdom and warmth had been injected into my soul. The DMT had worked as a magical and positive closure for the whole trip. I had a few bong hits, and lay down eventually drifting off to sleep, after having several staring competitions with the cat, watching DG bond with it adorably.
